333. How to choose (I)

April of the twelfth year of Yongzheng

It's almost Qingming, and this year's Qingming suddenly reminds me of a lot of people. The incomplete bones of the guest, the tragic death of Tiantian, until now I can't tell whether it is the ninth elder brother who loves or hates, and the eighth elder brother, Chen Huaifeng......

Every year, someone leaves me like this, whether it's what I want to catch or what I want to deal with, they're all gone—leaving me struggling in the same place, not knowing what I want, not knowing what I want, lonely, alone in this cold Forbidden City......

Every year at this time, I come to worship, but it seems that more and more people want to worship every year, so that my sadness every year is like the light rain in the south of the Yangtze River at that time, as if it is endless.

"Third brother, I'm sorry." I stood in front of the grave of the thirteenth elder brother - this tomb is very new, and it can be seen that there are many people who take care of it carefully, and the sacrifices in front of the grave can also show that its owner was quite popular during his lifetime, not like Ke'er, the grave is overgrown with weeds: "It's me who is too ruthless, I really don't deserve ......" You are so good to me!

That day, I came back from Prince Yi's mansion and had a dream, in which you were waiting for me with hard support, and I knelt at home all night - I missed the appointment, I know that you don't want to favor you or your fourth brother before you die, you just want us to survive well, and we all want to live......

"If you know that you are not worthy, why should the other come? If you feel that you are ruthless, why don't you continue to be ruthless? ”

I looked back in astonishment to find Yinzhen standing behind me—dressed in ordinary clothes, wearing a melon-skin hat, and looking very much like a gentleman sent from the ledger to collect accounts. His outfit almost made me laugh, but I tried to hold it back, because I saw that his coat and hat were already stained with morning dew - I don't know how long he had been standing behind me, I had already heard that his body was not as good as it used to be.

"Why did Your Majesty come early? Or is it single? I frowned, a reproachful one: "You've been assassinated more than once, can't you be careful?" What's more, you're not in good health, and the last time you were still-" The last time he was in Prince Yi's mansion, because of the death of the thirteenth elder brother, he even coughed up blood on the spot......

"As far as I know, your enemies are not much less than mine, you dare to go out alone, why don't I dare?" It felt like he was also dissatisfied with me going out alone so early: "This is the first time you have come to see the thirteenth brother, right?" ”

How did he know?

People always avoid more guilt, so much so that I have been shy away from a dead person for the past few years, but has he been spying on me all these years? Otherwise, how can I know so much about things?

As for the fact that there are many enemies in both of us, I admit it - except for the one whose intentions are unknown in the Heaven and Earth Society, and the old departments of Nian Genghuan also refuse to give up to me, plus the eighth elder brother is located in Jiangnan, and he is a few loyal servants who are obedient to me secretly but don't know how to avenge their master, now that I think about it, I haven't lost arms or legs until now, which is a miracle.

"yes, it's my first time here." Unlike others, I came to worship with no tribute or wine, but a large number of flowers, probably influenced by my modern age—these flowers I planted with my own hands and picked them before dawn. Sometimes I think about it, the world is really unfair - the thirteenth elder brother has done so much for me until he dies, and all I can do in the end is to silently put flowers for him.

Yinzhen squatted there with me, quietly watching me lay out the flowers, although I was very curious, but I couldn't help but didn't speak. We were silent for a long time, until the sun had completely risen and dried the dew on our bodies, and he coughed lightly: "Every time I have something on my mind, I am used to coming here to see the thirteenth brother, and only he is willing to listen to my thoughts......"

The feeling of loneliness, the cold face, the lonely look, I almost got caught in the illusion that he was not only ruthless and mean, but he was also the most fragile human being. Because of his vulnerability, he learned to be suspicious, because no one had ever made him believe, so he continued to be suspicious......

I hated him for never believing me, but I asked myself – am I really worthy of his trust? How many times have I lied to him, how many times have I hurt him?

We're all the same people! The same ruthlessness, the same loneliness, the same suspicion—and the same pitiful......

"Brother Thirteen is a good person and a good listener." I remember that I used to like to talk to him about things on my mind, which was very reassuring, and more importantly, he had no selfishness - in this chaotic and bloody war, he was the only one who did not seek personal gain and did not attach importance to power: "In this Forbidden City, he is the only clean person, but he ...... "The sky has no eyes, he has suffered so much, and he died so early!"

I suddenly remembered that I had made the same mistake just now, and I just suspected that Yinzhen was spying on me. Now I think about it, he often comes here to talk to the thirteenth elder brother, but he has never seen him, of course there will be a question - maybe after so many years of fighting, my suspicion has become worse than his, between us, it has long been impossible to tell who is right and who is wrong, who is true and who is false!

"Sometimes, I think maybe it's a blessing for the thirteenth brother." Yin Zhen looked at me, and a trace of pain suddenly flashed in his pupils: "This Forbidden City is already hiding filth and dirt, a simple person like him shouldn't be born here for you, he can leave early, that's a relief ......"

Yes, it's liberation, it's not like we're all stuck in the mire, for us, even the blessing of liberation can't be sought!

In addition to being excited, I still didn't ignore Yinzhen's painful eyes just now, I won't forget that if he hadn't bumped into me today, he would have something to say to the thirteenth elder brother. It must be some kind of distress, right? With such heartache in their eyes, is that distress me? Because I don't know what to do with me, that's why I came to the thirteenth elder brother to talk about my thoughts?

I know it's all my suspicious speculation, but I've come to this day like Yinzhen, and my suspicion can't be controlled. "If Your Majesty doesn't mind, you can tell me anything on your mind in the future, and if you can, I'm willing to be a good listener." This is a temptation, in fact, I should not be testing him at this time, but temptation has become my instinct.

His gaze fell on me a little hesitantly, and after a while, he gently spit out a word: "Okay." ”

"What's good?" I had almost forgotten what I was talking about, and he replied again.

"It's good to talk to you......"

I closed my eyes, and after his hesitation, I was sure that he was thinking about me. But I can't imagine that he would come to me again at this time to talk to me about my heart, what is that—tell me that kings are capricious? Or was he going to cut me off and put my head next to my bed and tell me endless stories? (Stop, you've seen too many ghost stories, so stop here.) ）

"Qiyun, the thirteenth brother said that the song you sang was very good, he kept remembering it but unfortunately never heard it again, I remember that when I first saw you, you were also singing, under the maple tree, singing as if it was very sad......" Yinzhen raised his head seriously and thought about it: "What Yiren or something, I still remember ......"

Do you remember?

I didn't know for a moment whether to laugh or be distressed, more than twenty years have passed, and more than twenty years have passed and I have almost thought of myself as an ancient—a race for fame and fortune, unscrupulous means, almost forgetting that these things were illusory in the era of my birth.

It makes those 21st century things seem to be far away from me, and I can't even remember those awkward lyrics. Unexpectedly, after I was accustomed to the era of dull dramas, no TV and no CD, an ancient man actually asked me to sing a live song for him - Mom, what is the best way to sing? I've almost forgotten it all!

Finally, I racked my brains, and finally reminded me of a one that I still remember the lyrics, as for whether it is elegant or not, I don't care if it sounds good or not: "There is only a mother in the world, and a mother's child is like a treasure, thrown into the arms of his mother......" Fortunately, this is not modern, and Yinzhen is not a modern person, otherwise I would have to die headlong.

What made me vomit blood the most was that Yinzhen actually listened to it with a look of intoxication, and I didn't realize that the childish and ridiculous I sang was not elegant—I sympathized with him while spitting on the lack of ancient entertainment, which was really a sin!

"Qiyun, are you singing this song because you want to Hongli?" Yinzhen suddenly thought a little and interrupted my duck call.

"......, you are really emotional, I don't want children, I just remember this simple song now." But thankfully, he doesn't interrupt me and I really laugh.

"If you want, let him come back! I'm also very worried about his ......."

What do you mean by that? Do you believe that Hongli is your own child? You're finally not ready to harm him?

"Qiyun, I should believe you, although Hongli doesn't look much like me, but-" He doesn't look much like his mother--I'm also very distressed about this, although it's a good thing to don't look like him (like his mother's appearance is half ruined in his life), but why doesn't Hongli look like anyone?

"But Hongli's temperament and appearance are very similar to you, he risked death that day, I believe that he is out of father-son affection, I believe that you will not lie to me about this!"

Like me? It can't be like mine! Something went wrong with that eye of yours to come to this conclusion?

But now that I look back and think about it, his wicked smile and lazy tone are indeed very similar to me—the result of the crooked upper beam and the crooked lower beam is that I have taught him for twenty years, and he has not learned anything good. (Think about it yourself, you don't have any shining points to learn from him!) In infinite sorrow...... ）

But I'm very moved, I'm very self-aware, I'm not the kind of person who can be trusted, I don't know how determined Yinzhen is to convince himself to believe me - royal blood, can't be wrong at all, even if I know that Hongli is his own child, but I can't show any evidence. Believe me, what courage it takes!

"Thank you......" My mouth opened, and I suddenly mustered up all my courage: "Thank you Yinzhen, Qiyun thank you!" "If you were just Yinzhen, how good would it be if you weren't the emperor!

At this time, I suddenly felt as if there was something I hadn't done, what was it, what was it that I had forgotten at this critical moment?

"Qiyun, what song did you just sing, can you sing it again?"

Oh my God, do you want to hear it? What a sense of beauty you have! Let me die!