This flower is lonely (4)

This Flower is Lonely (4)

I looked back in horror and saw my father's tall figure, finally appearing outside my mother's room for the first time after twenty-three years of anticipation.

Under the flickering white light, I couldn't see his expression clearly, only that his figure was weaker than ever, and the lightning behind him seemed to outline his profound face in a surprisingly lonely way.

I don't know exactly when, I staggered out of the room.

Through the hazy rain line, I could already vaguely see my mother, who had turned her head with the last of her strength, her meager sleeves like a winter butterfly, covering her face.

She never looked at her father.

I have always been strong and tall, as if nothing in this world can crush my father, at a loss before my mother's bed, he seems to be fighting against something, trembling violently. Finally, unable to support the crushing weight any longer, he fell to his knees beside her bed, resting his head lightly on her shoulder......

I looked back.

It was already raining outside, and the raindrops were like pouring arrows, weaving together into a vast curtain of water. Layers of mist rose from the ground, and the sky became cloudy. In this hazy sky, I could no longer distinguish my position, I could not find my own direction, as if all that was left in the heavens and earth was the sound of the rain, the wind, and the thunder......

After a long time, I tried to think about what my father was like that night.

For him. I am afraid that there is nothing more important in this world than hegemony in the world. But what about mothers? What about me? And what about my sister?

When he gave up everything around him for that lofty goal, when the night was quiet, would he hesitate a little? But will there be some slight regrets?

I can't understand it, I can't imagine it.

For a long time after my mother's death, I didn't know what kind of expression I should use to face my father.

And after that night's gaffe, my father had quickly and completely regained his daily busyness and calmness, even busier and calmer than before.

I don't know what he's up to. I could only let myself go down and wander around this familiar but unfamiliar courtyard. Thinking carefully and recalling all the things that my mother used to do, I became more and more intoxicated and couldn't extricate myself. The carved beams of the railings that had been touched countless times, and the trees in the pools that had been played with countless times began to become blurry, distant but familiar and smooth.

Autumn goes to the east, and I can't feel the cycle of the seasons around me, nor can I perceive the passage of time. In a trance, it seems that he has completely detached himself from this world.

It wasn't until a few months later that my father told me that he had already made arrangements to return to his hometown to worship his ancestors. I was gradually freed from this loss.

Then, I took my mother's ashes back to my hometown of Yongzhou according to my father's arrangement.

Under the towering walls of the Yongzhou border pass, I heard everything that my father had painstakingly planned for more than 20 years.

Such an earth-shattering conspiracy shocked me and frightened me inexplicably.

Then, in my mind, she appeared, and their figures appeared.

How many things did my father leave in the capital and in the hands of the Liao people, mother-in-law. Sister, and her......

I don't have much precious in my life, but I have to bear the blows of such loss one after another.

I sent someone to sneak into the capital to find her whereabouts and find out about my mother and sister. Every message let me down for important hostages. The guards of the Liao people are surprisingly rigorous, and for her, they can't even find out the slightest news of their existence, and she seems to have disappeared from this world out of thin air.

News like this can't help but give me a sense of foreboding, as if she is in a place I don't know, holding secrets that I don't know.

The vicissitudes of life, gathering and dispersing, the world is always wonderful and unspeakable.

By chance, which I can't even tell myself, she and I unexpectedly reunited.

At a time when the world is becoming more unpredictable, it is pure joy to be reunited with her.

Even if he knows the secret behind her. knew that she was actually not a simple palace concubine. It didn't dilute the joy in the slightest. Perhaps, in my heart. I have long understood that she is not a simple and weak woman, not a caged bird trapped in the walls of the palace. It's not a potted flower that is kept in a deep palace. She has the world in her eyes, and what she needs is enough blue sky and earth for her to fly.

I went back to Yongzhou with her.

And the joy of regaining it came immediately after the joy of being lost, but the bad news of his mother and sister, as well as all the family members of the Ni family who remained in the capital. I fell from the peak of joy into the abyss in an instant.

I think of the little girl in my childhood, the little girl who stubbornly climbed that window repeatedly.

I can't imagine what a blow it was, only to numb myself with crazy work.

I can't imagine how my father would have faced all this. All I know is that my father then quickly marched north to fight Jereshin outside the city, and that my father, who had always been cautious, was seriously wounded because of his impatience.

In fact, my sister also occupies an important position in my father's heart, in my father's heart, which is full of iron and blood.

I suddenly remembered that a long time ago, he was in the study and listened to me talk about my mother's daily life. Once, when I told him that his mother recently liked to look at the red maple leaves in autumn, he had a moment of distraction, and then I don't know how long it took, he sighed softly and said, "If you are willing to give up, you can only get if you give up......

Sometimes, when he is in a good mood, he will also say with great ambition: "In troubled times, a man should lift the three-foot green peak and make immortal achievements." Ting Xuan, in the future, your deeds must be stronger than mine......"

……

Perhaps the power of the individual is invisible in the torrent of historical changes, and the changes in the situation in the world will not stop for a moment because of personal sadness or joy. When the pain in my heart had not healed, I had to focus on the overall situation of the future, and began to lead the soldiers and horses of the Ni family, and according to my father's instructions, I went on an expedition north.

Then I went north with her.

Stepping through thousands of mountains and rivers, walking through the vast grassland, talking about tomorrow's war together when the sun sets, talking about the past together when the winter snow first arrives, under the dim lights, beside the simple earthen wall, her figure burns fiercely in my heart, leaving a thrilling beauty. On the battlefield of the Jin Ge Iron Horse, in the day and night march, she is like a leisurely flower, illuminating the entire bloody battlefield.

When she laughs, my heart rises with joy, and when she grieves, pain fills my chest.

That night, we were faced with a map hanging high and an unpredictable future. The words in my heart couldn't help but blurt out. I was horrified, but the words that had been spoken could not be taken back. With remorse in my heart and a faint expectation, complex feelings are intertwined into a fear that I have never felt before.

She just stared at the orange candle flame in a daze, and did not look away for a long time, and for a moment I had the illusion that she was like a moth about to pounce on the warm, yet hot, deadly flames.

She finally ducked into the tent in a gesture of escape, leaving behind me a bitter and lost me.

In those days, such sweetness and sourness were intertwined, confusion and firmness floated in reincarnation, there was a faint warmth in the fierceness, and the busy rush was no longer tiring.

Such days ended at the moment when there was a drastic change in the capital. Although I can't know when he became such a thoughtful and waiting for the moment. Maybe out of sight, we're all slowly changing. In short, his success once again turned the whole world around.

So, she and I returned to the capital again, to the place where all the entanglements had occurred.

Tomorrow is the last chapter of "This Flower is Lonely", and it will also end all kinds of grievances and grievances between Su Mi and them, because at the end, there is no way to update a few more chapters to repay everyone's support.

But still have to keep calling for a monthly pass,

It's the last day

God forbid don't fall again tonight, (~ ̄▽ ̄)~

I was scared for a month,

Poor my fragile nerves can't bear such a huge blow,

Fortunately, I don't have to be frightened anymore.

Just hold on to the last day,

Although this hope seems very slim...... Duck to the side and draw circles ~~~~~

Give me some motivation, put your hands together, please...

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