But he still remembered what he had been like when he first met her more than twenty years ago. com slender figure, delicate smile, at that time the green silk was like ink, like a wolf in the bottom of the heart of a trace.

He knelt behind her and reached out to hold her in his arms.

"Shuhui, if there is an afterlife, I will definitely no longer bear you."

The clear sound of the wooden fish suddenly broke, and an invisible string was suddenly torn off.

Huang's body stiffened, and tears appeared from the corners of his eyes.

Xie Rong lay on her back and wept silently, he never forgot that he only had one wife in his life, and he never forgot the wife he married back with his own hands, but from the day he brought Cai Wei back, he and her couldn't go together, he didn't bring her back because he liked Cai Wei, he just couldn't bear the power and honor that was about to arrive.

Huang pursues peace and tranquility, and he is destined to face never-ending storms.

How he wanted to live and die with her, but he couldn't. Everything he promised her, he didn't do. Glory and wealth, children and grandchildren around the knees, stay together until old age, never give up, he can't do it.

He let go of his hand, plucked two gray hairs from her sideburns, carefully tied a concentric knot, took it into his arms, and stood up and walked out of the threshold.

The Buddha hall was quiet again, and the Bodhisattva looked solemnly at the world on the Buddha table.

Huang didn't look back or make a sound during the whole process, but her heart and liver were broken again, it turned out that after so many years of practice, she was still in the red dust.

It is only half an hour from the four-leaf alley to Donghua Temple.

The weather is getting colder, and there is no one in Donghua Temple.

Xie Rong led the horse. Half-hung his head and entered the temple gate, and the place on the note was in the backyard of the Daxiong Treasure Hall. He walked into the backyard without squinting, and there was no one except for the mist of incense lit in the incense burner at the four corners.

He tied his horse to the leg of the censer and sat down on the stone steps under the porch.

Suddenly the lights came on in the opposite temple, and a man in a hat came out of it.

Xie Rong looked at her and didn't get up.

"The third uncle is here."

Xie Wan walked down the stone steps and looked at him across half the courtyard. "I made an appointment with you, and what you want to see is Mr. Seven, are you disappointed?"

"Not disappointed." He shook his head. "I know it's you." He looked up. Looking around, "If I'm not mistaken, the people of the Anmu Palace's Mansion are already in ambush in the four halls now, right?" Do you know why I know it's still a dead end, but it's still coming? He pursed his lips. Look at her freely.

Xie Wan paused. Take off your hat. "I really don't know. Listen to the third uncle's explanation. ”

"Because defeat at your hands is my last dignity." He looked ahead. The voice was soft and peaceful, "I, Xie Rong, have only two endings so far, one is to die at the hands of Mr. Seven, and the other is to die at the hands of you. You and I have been fighting for half our lives, and if we can die in your hands, we can be regarded as a well-deserved death. And with the identity of you who can climb from a country woman to the current princess of the county, your ability is not insulting to me. ”

"The third uncle is really awarded."

Xie Wan put his hat on the stone steps beside him, sat down, and said, "Third Uncle has been the pride of Xie Fu since he was a child, and I am deeply honored to be held up by you like this. One thing you may never know is that when I was very young, I was proud to have your compliments, because you were the pride of all of us, even my father. ”

"Really?" Xie Rong shook his head, "I never knew. ”

"Of course you won't know. At that time, you would only bury your head in studying and test for fame, and I can guarantee that you didn't even remember what I looked like at that time. She laughed.

At that time, Xie Rong was a sign of Xie Fuli's teaching children to work hard, not only Xie Teng often used this to warn Xie Lang, but even his mother Qi often praised her uncle for how studious and motivated her uncle was. So in the young Xie Wan's heart, Xie Rong is an idol, a symbol, and an unapproachable fairy-like character.

But this was in a previous life when I was young.

In this life, Xie Rong has been an existence that she must pretend to be from the beginning, her goal in a period, her heart, and the premise of all decisions. Objectively speaking, she also admires Xie Rong, his persistence and hard work, his judgment of the situation, and his unwillingness to be subservient, but it is precisely because of all his characteristics that she has gone all the way.

"Not only do I not remember you, but the children other than Sister Wei and Brother Yun don't remember." Xie Rong said honestly, "But do you know why I'm working so hard? You must not know that all my goals and all my efforts are because of my inferiority complex in my heart. ”

"Low self-esteem?" Xie Wan turned his head to look at him.

"Not bad." He nodded, stretched Qu Jiu's legs forward, and then looked at the cold stars in the sky with his eyes, and said: "You are born from your original match, an uncle who was born as a jinshi, a reasonable uncle, a kind and upright father, and a virtuous and gentle mother, in addition to your brother is your own brother, you are destined to have a solid family background to inherit, you must not have inferiority."

"But look at me, my family is a rich man with a mouse's eyes, my father is a miser who sells his reputation, and what kind of mother is my mother? She's a widow who remarried! And my brothers, one is an uneducated stepson who has a mother's favor, and the other is a brother who is better than me, and he also has a grandmother to protect him, and what can I do to be self-sufficient? Not a single one.

"Go out, what I said on my face is good, I am the third young master of Xie Mansion, and in private, I am the remarried son of the widow Wang, I often can't raise my head, why don't other people's mothers be talked about behind people's backs, but my mother will? And why do other mothers love their children so much, while my mother only loves her eldest son?

"I often wonder if I am not good enough, behaves unlovably, or is not smart enough to make her snub me so much? So I tried to be as well-behaved as I could, and tried not to ask questions that seemed childish. When I knew how much my father hoped that there would be a jinshi in the family, in front of my father, before I was enlightened, I took the book and deliberately flipped through it in front of him.

"I finally got his attention, and he gave me a gentleman's enlightenment, and allowed me to look through any book in his study, including the right to enter the library. These are my rare honors, which greatly satisfy my vanity. But there was nothing more than that, and my father still only cared about what I read and never asked me what I wanted.

"At that time, I was not so capable, and sometimes I couldn't write well or memorize the memorization, but I knew that if I didn't work hard, I would lose all these honors. I will become the remarried son of the lowly widow in everyone's eyes, and I will never be inferior to my eldest brother Xie Teng. So I often lit the lamp at night after the mothers turned off the lights and went out, and read and practice calligraphy under the retreat cupboard.

"Then I finally had some success, and I got some of the tricks, and I started to take it easy. Then I passed the exam again, I thought I could finally breathe a sigh of relief, my mother should be able to share some care for me, but I didn't expect that when I went to tell her the news, she just smiled and asked me to send Xie Hong a bag of sugar fried pine nuts, she said Xie Hong likes to eat.

"As for the good news that I passed the exam, she just said that she knew."

"No one knows how much I hated myself at that time, why I was so embarrassed to come into this world, I no longer counted on my mother, I began to hate her. For the widow of the king gave me the nickname of her remarried. And in her eyes, I am not as good as a Xie Hong born to her and her ex-husband!

"I could only find a little solace from my father, who praised me and sang a beautiful day of play. Many people congratulated me, flattered me, and praised me, but at this time I found that I actually felt balanced in my heart, because it turned out that studying and taking the merit test could bring me another kind of courage and confidence, and it could make me walk around with my waist straight and outside like a person.

"I began to devote myself to academics like crazy, and finally I got my wish and became a jinshi and a great official who made the family glorious. I don't let people see my inferiority, I try to restrain myself, I am calm and calm at all times, and I am neither humble nor arrogant in front of anyone, but no matter how beautiful I am, I can't erase the fact that I am the son of a widow who remarried, and I hate Wang more and more, but I can't kill her......

"The inferiority complex when I was a child still got into my blood like a poisonous snake, I was afraid that others would know my past, I was afraid that the civil and military forces of the Manchu Dynasty would look down on me, and I was even more afraid that I would not be able to become a noble scholar in the eyes of everyone, Sister Wan, do you know? The more people with low self-esteem, the more they will find ways to hide their identity and shortcomings, and the more eager they are to be able to override all ten thousand people.

"I am so eager to use my official position and power to hide my inner uneasiness and fear, to hide that I have such an unbearable background. I can only climb up as hard as I can, and the higher I climb, the less I dare to laugh at me, and the more I feel at peace in my heart, because this proves that I am capable, and I don't care if anyone cares about me, and I almost succeeded. ”

Xie Rong had tears on his face, in the empty courtyard of the temple, with Liao Liao's cold star on his head, surrounded by burying soldiers who were about to explode, and beside him were old enemies who had fought each other all his life, at this time he was no longer dangerous, but like a lonely child standing in the wilderness, he had been lost and did not know where to go.

Xie Wan's eyes were also slightly sour.

Sometimes it's hard to say anything about grievances. In his previous life, Xie Rong didn't do anything directly to them, but because of his indifference, his six relatives didn't recognize him, which led to the Wang family's cruel persecution of their brothers and sisters without fear.

But the wheel of fate moves as soon as it moves, and she wants to kill him, not for the revenge of the previous life, but for the struggle between the two parties in this life. Whoever let them get involved in this whirlpool, who let them swear that they can't stand on the other, and the matter involving the country and the society is already ruthless. (To be continued.) )