When I was very young, in my memory, the only meaning of human life was to have enough to eat. Unfortunately, I never had enough. So much so that I was eleven years old that year, but I looked like a little girl of seven or eight years old.

"Look, this is Fluttershy."

I hid behind my uncle and secretly looked at this old man who could make my uncle nod and hunch, and my first impression was ----that he must have eaten very well and full, otherwise how could his face be so ruddy, how could his stomach be so full?

I swallowed my saliva secretly, I was so envious and wanted to envy!

"She's Wanqing's daughter?" The old man looked very excited: "Why is it so small?" The frowning brows, as if to say that Wanqing is such a stunning beauty, how could she give birth to such a yellow-haired girl with yellow face and thin muscles?

My uncle was about to answer, but I was preemptive: "Of course I am my mother's daughter, my mother was beautiful back then!" "This is the only thing I can be proud of in my life, the only thing I can brag about, my mother Nalan. Wanqing, that was a first-class beauty and talented woman in the Qing Dynasty at that time.

"It's really a late sunny child!" The man, who was called the old man, almost took me into his arms with a shout of joy: "Poor child, find you, and I will have the face to see your mother after I die." Good boy, tell your uncle, would you like to be your uncle's daughter? ”

"Can you eat enough?" I blinked my eyes wide and asked hopefully---- I have been pushed around by my relatives since I was a child, and I have not had a full meal, is there really anyone willing to let me stop starving this time?

"Of course." His chubby face smiled kindly.

"Daddy----" I was used to sending people under the fence, and when I heard his assurance, I immediately changed to a flattering smile.

"Don't call Daddy, call Amma. From now on, you are the daughter of my Nian family, well----" He looked at my big eyes as bright as the autumn moon: "You, in the future, you will be called Nian Qiuyue." ”

I found out later. It turned out that my mother was my first love in Amadi back then. At that time, Amma was still an unknown Han Chinese. And my mother is the niece of a famous university scholar Mingzhudi. It's a famous lady. The Qing Dynasty stipulated that intermarriage between the Manchus and Han was not allowed. Although the two people are in love with each other. It's also been vigorous. But in the end, it was still dismantled.

None of them were reconciled. are unwilling to get married and wait for each other willingly. As a result, Mingzhu, a scholar of ---- University, was dismissed and investigated for helping the eldest brother seize power. The entire Nalan family was implicated. And my grandfather's family was even worse. My mother and my grandmother were sentenced to be sent to Heilongjiang to be enslaved by the armorers......

It is rumored that at that time, Ama cried and chased my mother for dozens of miles. But in the end, they still couldn't be with my mother---- they couldn't be together last time. It's because of identity; This time. He finally broke out of the world. was flagged. But it's still because of the sinful body of the mother. They still can't be together!

The year in which I knew about it. I'm only thirteen years old. I vaguely felt that the love between men and women was cruel ---- love each other. It was more bitter than sweet......

"What are you thinking!"

Suddenly appeared behind me, and the sound almost startled me. I don't have to look back to know who this daredevil is. It must be my brother who doesn't grow up (forgive me.) That's what I ammy saying): "Scared me to death." You nasty. Look at what I'll tell Ama how he's going to clean you up! ”

I don't have enough food and clothing, and my body is very weak, so Amma is extra protective of me. Out of his fiery affection for my mother, he took care of me in every way. On the contrary, he is very strict with this brother. He served at every turn--- and in the past two years, because I was naughty, he didn't know how many beatings he had received.

"Hmph, I'm not afraid!" As he spoke, his eyes cautiously looked at whether Amma was nearby: "I will be the one who will be a general in the future." ”

"You, it's strange if you're not afraid!" I ran away grinning, but stopped to hold my chest and gasp for air before I could run long.

"Look at you, your body is so weak, how can you go with me in the future!"

"Why should I go with you?" I gasped and glared at him--- not because he hurt the ground!

"Because you're going to be the general's wife, that's what the drama says. The general's wife went out with the general! ”

"Who is ---- with you" I suddenly reacted to what my brother said: "Okay, you take advantage of me, you are bad, you actually take advantage of your own sister!" ”

"Who's my sister? I remember that my mother only gave birth to a baby bump for me, where did you pop out of it? He laughed and dodged my fist, although I knew he was just putting on a show, and my fist was not painful to him at all: "Don't you know? The Han people have a custom that whoever gives birth to a son will raise a child daughter-in-law for the son. ”

Child bride?

I looked at him stupidly---- very tall and strong. Angular face. It's very reassuring. suddenly felt that marrying him seemed to be a good choice......

Just as it is important. He never bullied me, which reminded me of my mother, that beautiful, intelligent but poor woman---

"Smack!" The leather whip was whipped Eniang's fragile body, and the "uncle" with a thick face and a big beard spat at me and my mother fiercely: "It's just an official slave, and I really think I'm a young lady, and I dare to talk to Lao Tzu about conditions!" “

I only knew from others that this "uncle" was actually my biological father, but I didn't like him---- he disliked my mother and my identity as a sinner, he didn't allow me to call him Amma, he often beat my mother and me!

"I ----" the mother dodged the whip in vain: "The slave knows that her life is cheap, but the child is your own flesh and blood, I only ask you to treat her well!" Madame is going to sell her into a brothel, sir, sir, I beg of you......"

That day, my mother couldn't stand the tyranny of her master and killed him by mistake---- such a timid and docile mother, I knew that she was completely for me. I remember her trembling hugging me: "Child, my mother can't take care of you anymore, you run away and go to the capital to find Uncle Nianling, he will take care of you!" ”

I watched E-Niang end her life with a pair of scissors---- the official slave killing the master is a capital crime to be Ling Chi, and my mother has no choice but to commit suicide. I will always remember my mother's last words before she died: "Fluttershy, E-Niang regrets it, E-Niang regrets not agreeing to elope with him in the first place, I knew it was like this, I knew ...... I knew it" A tear slipped down the corner of my mother's eye---- that day. I lost my own parents at the same time......

"It's not a child daughter-in-law!" I think of my mother's tears, love is a word, since ancient times have harmed countless people, I don't want to be as pitiful as my mother: "You are my brother, if you talk nonsense, I will tell Amma!" "My face flushed at his suggestion. I shyly ran out.

"Yes, Amma!" I bowed my head and saluted him.

"It's really big!" Amma praised me, ----As I got older, I looked more and more like my dead mother, so much so that sometimes Amma would lose her mind when she looked at me. Even the ministers of the central region of the DPRK know that the Nian family has a beautiful daughter.

"Qiuyue, there's something I want to discuss with you." Ama paused, and then thought about how to speak to me: "Last time on the birthday of the Four Blessings, I praised you for your intelligence and dexterity. I want to find you an errand in the house! ”

Emissary?

There are so many minions up and down in the Fourth Elder Brother's Mansion, what do you need me to do? Also, even if Amma became an official. Our family is still regarded as the fourth elder brother's clothed minion, as for the fourth blessing, will the four blessings be obsessed with me, a minion?

"Amma, in the end, who does Sifujin want me to serve?"

"Hey!" Ama sighed, and only replied half-loudly: "You don't understand the affairs of those princes and brothers' families, Ama will tell you the truth!" The fourth elder brother has someone else in his heart, and Sifujin has no children, although she has the most noble status in Prince Yong's mansion, she is also the most dangerous......"

"That won't send me inside!" I remember the tragic situation of my mother. Which of the three wives and four concubines is not falling on each other?

"Qiuyue, although our family is beautiful now, it is a slave in the end." Amma shook his head, in fact, he may be more difficult than me: "Minion, you can't refuse any request from your master!" ”

"What about the fourth elder brother!" I've seen the fourth elder brother, what a resolute and cold-hearted person he is! Even if I'm gorgeous, he won't be moved by beauty, right? "Could it be that the fourth elder brother is from the four blessings? Shove a woman him? ”

"Hey!" Ama sighed even more: "Sifujin has served the fourth elder brother for so many years, can you still feel his temper?" Your brother is now running an errand for the fourth master, although it is good. But if there is a relative who stays with the fourth master, I believe the fourth master will be more assured! ”

"What?" If the fourth elder brother really fell in love with me at first sight at the birthday banquet, although I was unwilling, I would always feel a little better in my heart. But now? I'm not even a beauty, at best I'm a tool, a hostage to keep my brother faithful.

"Qiuyue, if you want to open up, the master is willing to lift you, and at that time, we can't cultivate the blessing of being slaves for several lifetimes. You ---" Amma tilted his head, "Accept and accept." If you don't accept it, you have to accept it! ”

I sat down on the floor with all my strength weak. That year, I was only fifteen years old, but I had to accept the same helpless ending as my mother......

No, I'm not convinced, I think of my mother's last words before she died: "Fluttershy, E-Niang regrets it, E-Niang regrets not agreeing to elope with him in the first place, I knew it was like this, I knew it ......"

I got on my horse, ignoring the angry shouts of Ama behind me, and galloped out on the cold winter night---- I knew that now that my brother was marching to Mobei, he could save me, he would definitely save me!

"Brother, please, take me away, take me away......" I saw him, I hadn't seen him for a few years and he became more handsome, and I fell off my horse. I saw him nervously rushing over and hugging me: "Take me away now, please!" ”

"What's wrong?" He covered my face with a wide cloak and carefully carried me into the tent: "Why did you suddenly come to see me?" ”

"Sifujin wants me to enter the mansion." I saw my brother's clenched fists, and I knew he had heard what it meant for me to be in the house. "Take me away, didn't you say you wanted to marry me? We went to a place where no one found us! ......He looked at me, knowing that I was born beautiful, and now that I was fragile and unhesitating, I was even more beautiful: "Fluttershy, I'm sorry, I can't take you away, I'm ---- I'll have someone send you back......"

"Why?" Knowing that I am a hostage, knowing that I will enter the pit of hellfire, why, do you endure them one by one?

"Do you see so many soldiers outside? Their eyes are on me, and now that the war is so tight, they will all die if I leave! ”

It turns out that this is the case, it turns out that in the eyes of men, women are always so small---- in the eyes of grandma, in the eyes of elder brother, and in the eyes of the fourth elder brother......

Moreover, the blood of your minions is already ingrained, isn't it? Even if you know that your master doesn't like me at all, you don't dare to rob him with him!

"Nian Qianyao, brother, I want you to personally send me into the house!" I closed my eyes, and the tears that flowed in front of him only made me more pitiful---- I wanted him to give me to another man with his own hands, I wanted him to suffer for this for the rest of his life, this is the price he paid for abandoning me......