For the vast majority of post-80s, life is comfortable and happy, their parents poured all their love into their only child, but Qian Xiaoying is an exception, for her, life is like a small boat drifting on the vast sea, without decline and helplessness, I don't know when it will suddenly be overturned by a huge wave, and then sink into the abyss of no return.

Qian Xiaoying's father Qian Guangfu is a large truck driver who specializes in long-distance running, and his income supports the life of the family. Mother Li Yumei has no job, she does housework and plays mahjong every day, and her life is comfortable. However, one night in the winter of 1995, the mother and daughter unexpectedly received the news that Qian Guangfu had died in a car accident, which was a catastrophe for the family. Qian Xiaoying, who was 12 years old at the time, was crying for her father, and she didn't know what it meant to her.

The family has no financial resources, Li Yumei does not go out to work, but plays mahjong in a foreign fashion, often comes home late, and Qian Xiaoying, who has finished a day's class, often cooks and eats by herself after returning home, and then does her homework. The livelihood of the mother and daughter also quickly became stretched, and every time the school fees were charged, Qian Xiaoying was in trouble, because she had to ask Li Yumei for money, watch her shake her face, and sometimes be reprimanded. Later, Qian Xiaoying realized her experience, and usually paid attention to Li Yumei's look, if she was happy to catch up, it would definitely be a win in mahjong, and she had to make up a reason to ask for money immediately, and nine times out of ten she would succeed. After that, she would hide the money she asked for in case she needed it.

In addition to asking for money, there is something that makes Qian Xiaoying even more crazy, she found that Li Yumei often interacts with some men who seem to be indiscreet, and sometimes brings them to the house, and Qian Xiaoying, who is gradually sensible, quarrels with Li Yumei a lot for this, and then the two simply become hostile to each other like enemies, and often do not say a word for ten days and a half months.

A few years have passed, and now Qian Xiaoying can no longer bear this life, she desperately wants to escape from this home, escape from Li Yumei, go to a place where no one knows her, and start a new life, and this has become her dream.

At the moment when she got the admission letter of Dalian University of Foreign Chinese, Qian Xiaoying was both excited and worried, excited that the door of her new life was in front of her eyes, she could almost see the beautiful scene inside the door, and she was worried that she still lacked the key to open this door - an admission fee. She consulted that the tuition and miscellaneous fees add up to at least 10,000 yuan, which is not a small amount for a family like her! She clearly knew that it was impossible for her family to save so much money, even if there was some, Li Yumei would not be willing to take it out for her own use.

After coming out of school, Qian Xiaoying did not go home immediately, but walked blindly and aimlessly on the street for a long time, repeatedly thinking about how to raise this 10,000 yuan of fate-determining money, but until she thought that her brain began to hurt and she still had no clue, and finally she thought pessimistically, she could only go home and open her mouth to Li Yumei, whether she gave it or not, it was the last time she asked her for money in her life.

Qian Xiaoying's family lives on the sixth floor of an old-fashioned building, which is a one-bedroom apartment of only about 30 square meters, the furniture is old, the red paint on the floor is peeling off a lot, it looks mottled, and a small wooden bed is in the kitchen, which is where Qian Xiaoying sleeps, and the whole space seems cramped and messy.

When she entered the door, Qian Xiaoying saw her mother Li Yumei sitting cross-legged on the sofa watching TV, and only glanced at her indifferently and then moved her gaze to the TV again. Her hair was somewhat dry and sticky over her shoulders, revealing a few distinct forehead lines on her forehead; A pair of eyes that are almost exactly the same as Qian Xiaoying's are big and godless, and the crow's feet at the corners of the eyes are fine and profound, giving people a very tired feeling. When she was young, she was once a recognized beauty in the factory, but now that Shaohua has passed away, she looks old and sloppy.

Li Yumei's attitude made Qian Xiaoying swallow back the word "mother" in her throat. She put down her schoolbag, brushed the dirty dishes in the sink first, then washed all the dirty clothes in the plastic basin in the bathroom and dried them, and wiped the floor again until she finished all the work that could be seen, and then she put the college admission letter on the coffee table in front of Li Yumei with trepidation.

"Money?" Li Yumei picked up the piece of paper, looked at it and threw it back, took out a cigarette from the cigarette case next to her, lit it with a lighter, took a deep breath, and said while exhaling the smoke: "Seven or eighty thousand yuan after four years of college, right?" Can we afford this? ”

"As long as the money for the first year is settled, I think about it, and when I go to college, I will go to find a part-time job, do odd jobs, work as a tutor, and fight for scholarships...... Anyway, I don't need you to provide for me......" Qian Xiaoying snorted.

"If you want to use it, I can't afford it."

“…… Mom, then this first year's money ......" Qian Xiaoying looked at Li Yumei with a pleading gaze.

"Hey......" Li Yumei grinned at the corners of her mouth, and a hint of sneer appeared on her face, "Yingying, do you remember how long you haven't called me Mom?" It's really for the sake of money, and I know to call my mother. ”

What Li Yumei said was the truth, Qian Xiaoying was speechless, and lowered her head to clasp her fingers.

"Yingying, if you want me to say that in a girl's house, it's useless to read too many books, and in the end, don't you have to get married, have children, and serve your husband as an old mother? So, it's serious for girls to get married! You don't look ugly, take care of yourself, maybe you can find a rich ......"

"I must go to this university!" Qian Xiaoying raised her head and looked at Li Yumei and said firmly, there seemed to be two small flames dancing in those big eyes.

"I know you have an idea, when have you heard my words?" Li Yumei glanced at Qian Xiaoying, put out the cigarette butt in the ashtray, got up and came to the dilapidated wardrobe, opened the cabinet door and rummaged for a long time, took out a passbook from it and threw it on the coffee table, "This is the pension given by the transportation company when your father died, it has been saved for several years, it was two thousand five at the time, and now it is estimated to be more than 3,000 with interest, you can take it, I have so much money, as for whether it is enough, whether you can go to this university, I can't care, you can watch it yourself." ”

"That'...... Can you borrow some more? It's a big deal, I graduated from college and earned money. As expected, Qian Xiaoying thought to herself, so she could only go out and borrow it.

"Who are you going to borrow? Your grandfather and grandfather are dead, and I have no relatives, let alone others. Li Yumei sat back on the couch and continued to watch her TV, with an impatient expression on her face.

"Can you go to my uncle and borrow some?" Qian Xiaoying has an uncle, but since Qian Guangfu's death, the two families have had little contact, and this is the only person Qian Xiaoying can think of who can borrow money.

Li Yumei snorted coldly, picked up the half-smoked cigarette just now and lit it and smoked, "Your uncle is a stuffy gourd with a 'strict trachea', your aunt...... Hey, saying that she is an iron hen is to lift her, that time you were sick and hospitalized, I went to take care of them and borrowed 5000, she has called the door a few times...... They won't borrow it, so if you don't believe it, try it. After speaking, Li Yumei stared at the TV and no longer paid attention to Xiaoying.

Qian Xiaoying stood for a long time, glanced at Li Yumei with an indifferent face, and reluctantly turned around and went out. With the sound of "bang" on the door, Li Yumei's tightly pursed lips also twitched, she picked up the remote control and turned off the TV and sat quietly on the sofa, and after a while, her eyes were overflowing with tears.

When Li Yumei was young, she worked in a fiber factory in Danbei City, and was known as a flower in the workshop, and later she got along with a middle-level cadre. It's a pity that the man is a married man, and the love affair is revealed, and the man's legitimate wife knocks on the door, and the man who vows to divorce and marry her hides. This love affair ended in tragedy, the man was dismissed from his post and became an ordinary worker, Li Yumei lost her job, not to mention that she also had a bad reputation, and she was originally a very beautiful woman, and she couldn't even find a partner. Later, someone introduced her to Qian Guangfu, who was more than ten years older than her and looked old, although the conditions in all aspects were very unsatisfactory, but after all, her age was unforgiving, seeing that she was almost thirty, although she was reluctant, Li Yumei was still going to get married.

After getting married, Qian Guangfu loved Li Yumei like a treasure, not only did he not need her to go out to work, but also handed over all the money he earned to her for her use. Later, when he had a daughter, Qian Guangfu worked hard to earn enough money to let the mother and daughter live a worry-free life. How could it be that the good times didn't last long, Qian Guangfu died in a car accident, and when she first heard the bad news, Li Yumei was almost stupid, and such a heavy blow made her depressed, and she relied on playing mahjong and gambling to anesthetize herself all day long, except for getting food for Qian Xiaoying every day, she almost ignored the rest of the things. The savings were quickly spent, and when she was most embarrassed, she couldn't even open the pot at home, so she really had no choice, Li Yumei simply broke the jar and broke it, hooked up with some ill-intentioned men to get some money to spend, and barely survived.

Li Yumei knows that she is an incompetent poor mother, and she also knows how resentful her daughter is in her heart, but the freezing three feet is not a day's cold, she is powerless to change all this, in a period of up to six years, the two gradually formed a strange relationship that is both mutual hatred and dependence, at this moment Li Yumei is crying and sad thinking, now Yingying is going to go to college in other places and is leaving herself, although the money for school is not enough, but she knows her daughter, she believes that Yingying will find a way to get this money. On the contrary, she was empty and flustered in her heart, because she didn't know how to live her life after Yingying left, and the most terrifying thing was that she didn't know if her daughter would come back in the future, and whether she would recognize her as a mother......