"Mom...... Mommy ......"

When they saw me crying, they didn't use their little hands to wipe my face, but took turns kissing my eyes, the soft touch really made people's hearts melt, I was a little puzzled, sniffed and watched the two children pouting their little mouths to my eyes, "Mom......"

was stunned, and a voice came from behind him, "It's Lu Er who taught the child, and when he sees his mother crying, he wants to kiss his mother...... They're smart ......."

Looking back, Shen Mingya didn't know when she had stood behind me, her figure was still very skinny, her face was much better than a year ago, not as sallow as before, I was just about to speak, she said with a faint smile on the corner of her mouth, "You play with the children first, and we'll talk when they sleep......

I hummed, Shen Mingya then turned around and entered the house, the two children here are still scrambling to make efforts against my eyebrows, the game is average, I don't care about anything else, I just feel that the fireworks are blooming in my heart, and I hold the two children in my arms left and right, and get up, "Mom doesn't cry, don't cry......"

"Bao Si, a very heavy ......"

Uncle Xu reminded me in a low voice, "It's going to be very tiring to hug me like this." ”

I shook my head, almost greedily looking at the children's little faces up close, "It's okay, it's not sinking." ”

Uncle Xu smiled, walked up to me and spoke, "The old lady arrived at noon, she knew that you went to the provincial capital, so she said that she didn't need to tell you deliberately, for fear that you would be in too much of a hurry to drive, but I ...... I'm afraid that if you come back late, the child will sleep well, so ......"

"I understand!"

I glanced at Uncle Xu and smirked, "Thank you, Uncle Xu, this is a big surprise!" It's just that next time I can't use the excuse of falling off the roof of the flower house, I'm just as anxious! ”

Uncle Xu sighed, standing there with a hint of apology, his eyes were sad, but he was happy.

My arm is a little sore, to be honest, it's really not easy, but I just like to hold it, look at the stars carefully, he is completely a cute version of Xiao Lu Er, at a glance it is a little Zhengtai, fatter than what I saw in the video, and his face is tender and tender like all children over a year old, a pinch, like being able to wring out water.

Seeing me look at him, he was also blinking at me, as if he was looking curiously, touching my face with his little hands, and calling out in his mouth, "Mom...... Mommy ......"

Siyue is different, she has been very lively since she was picked up by me, giggling all the time, hugging my neck and pointing back to the rabbit on the ground, "Mom...... Rabbit...... Rabbit ......"

I knew they weren't very good at talking yet, and nodded with tears in my eyes, "It's a rabbit, little white rabbit." ”

"Rabbit...... Rabbit ......"

Siyue was still talking, and after being hugged by me for a while, her little body pushed towards the ground, and her round eyes looked at me brightly, looking like I was in a hurry to play with rabbits.

I've seen the 100-day photos taken of me at home, and now when I look at Siyue, it's completely like looking at myself when I was a child, and the most important thing is that this child's behavior seems to be the same as when I was a child!

If there is a contrast, you will find the difference, the younger sister is lively, and the older brother is more calm and quiet.

I hugged until I couldn't hold it anymore, then I let go of my hand and let the two of them go to the ground, watching the two of them walk and sway, and then go to play with the rabbit, and I didn't take my eyes off the child for a minute.

Whatever they like to play, I just play with them without any temper, and I teach the two little ones who are like repeaters to learn to talk, and for the first time, I found that I am so patient.

The rabbit is going to run, as soon as I see that Siyue is in a hurry, I will go to help catch it, Xingchen will be very Lu Er's style after I grab and hug it over, and the mouth is ......ahhhhh Rabbit ......"

I smiled and sat down in front of them and nodded, "yes, this is the little white rabbit, who is the star?" ”

Siyue pointed her little finger at the stars and said vaguely, "Baby...... Baby ............"

I couldn't help laughing, "What about Yueyue, which one is Yueyue?" ”

Siyue especially praised me and pointed to herself, "Baby...... Baby ......"

I was overjoyed and looked at Xingchen, who had been calm, "Xingxing, who is Mom?" ”

He raised his fleshy little face and blinked at me, as if to say don't think that I would ask such an imbecile question when I was young, Xu was too expectant to look at my expression, got up slowly, and kissed my face in my surprised expression, "Mom......"

Si Yue on the side was not far behind when she saw this, she also stood up, threw herself into my arms in two steps, and said 'chirp' to the other side of my face, "Mom!" ”

I feel like I'm dying of happiness!

When the sun set, the two little ones fell asleep, and I heard Uncle Xu say that the two children had been playing in the yard since they arrived, and they should have been tired a long time ago.

I held the stars, and the nanny brought by Shen Mingya helped me hold Yueyue, and when I went upstairs, Shen Mingya followed me and whispered to remind me, "This posture is not right, the child will be uncomfortable......"

Very humble learning, although the child is more than a year old, I am still an absolute novice, fortunately, the child will go to the toilet during the day to remind me, the stars will suddenly stop playing when playing, pointing to their pants do not move, I was stunned for a few seconds and reacted quickly, he is going to unleash!

Siyue didn't mean, this kid jumped a lot of words, and when she wanted to go to the toilet, she would say directly, "......Shhhhhhh ......Shhhh

In contrast, Si Yue will express her demands more clearly and directly, however, I like this contrast between them, I always feel that every minute I stay, there are different surprises, two children, are two kinds of surprises!

Carrying the child to the bedroom of me and Lu Er, I thought that Shen Mingya would disagree with me to sleep with the child at night, but she didn't think she said much, but reminded me in a low voice after putting the child on the bed, "I drank milk powder before going to bed, I should sleep until dawn tonight, I should use diapers at night, and I must change another one when I get up in the second half of the night, otherwise they will be uncomfortable." ”

A nanny brought by Shen Mingya saw that my technique was too jerky and came over to help me put on diapers for the child, the action was really fast and sharp, the Chinese said not well, but the key words can still be expressed clearly, first wipe the ass, then fold, paste, try to tighten, tidy up the frills, it can be regarded as one go.

I mumbled in my mouth, she wore one and I wore the other, and when I was done, I looked at the two sleeping little angels on the bed, and they were already sweating profusely, not to mention, this thing looks simple, and it is really tiring to do.

The main thing is that you have to be careful, to see that the child sleeps so well, for fear of waking up, uncomfortable, fragile products, I really feel that they are like fragile products, I can't wait to hold them, hold them, and I don't dare to have much strength in my hands.

Shen Mingya didn't look at me, and after covering the child with a quilt to prevent him from catching a cold, he said softly, "When my mother was like this at the beginning, she was in a hurry, where was there a diaper when I was the boss, I washed diapers by myself, and I had to wake up five or six times at night, just because I was afraid that the child would be uncomfortable if he didn't change his butt when he was wet......

I was a little stunned, I didn't expect her to speak so gently, I didn't know what to respond to, I just nodded, bent down and kissed the little faces of the two children, I wanted to accompany them like this, and I would be happy at any time.

"Let them sleep, I want to talk to you......"

Shen Mingya asked the nanny to go out first, and spoke directly to me, I naturally agreed, and turned back three times when I got out of the bedroom, and adjusted the light in the room before closing the door, it was too bright, and it was too dark, and I was afraid that they would cry when they woke up suddenly.

When I was about to have obsessive-compulsive disorder, I followed Shen Mingya to the study, oops, I really didn't want to be separated from the child for a minute!

Walking into the study, Shen Mingya was already standing at the window with her back to me, "Actually, Lu Er asked me to bring the child back to you last year, he was afraid that you would miss the child, but at that time, his grandfather was sick and in poor spirits, so I could only take the two little ones to accompany his grandfather, so I delayed bringing the child to you until now, don't blame me......"

I was really surprised by Shen Mingya's attitude, but after thinking about it, she also said that she had let it go, and I was still speculating about something, so she answered, "I know, my dad told me about this, that is, Uncle Xia." ”

Shen Mingya didn't turn around, looked at the courtyard through the floor-to-ceiling window, and sighed, "It's been more than a year, I know everything you have done, it's been hard." ”

It's not easy, she would say this to me!

No response, how can I say, not hard? Serve?

“…… You don't look like Xue Ruojun at all. ”

A trace of bitterness jumped in her tone, and I suddenly understood why she didn't look back, because she was afraid that looking at my face would make it difficult for her to say something, "You and her, except for the resemblance, the rest are not like each other, in fact, your personality is a little like me, very strong, if it weren't for Xue Ruojun's relationship, I would appreciate you very much, really ......"

I still stood, and as soon as she paused, the study would be unusually quiet, for I really didn't know what to say, and that I had to let her smooth out my previous spirit, and now too, no matter what she said, whether it was praise or disgust, I was calm.

"You still hate me......"

Shaking my head, this time, I accosted, "I don't want to torture myself, so, there is no hate." ”

If people want to live an easy life, it is best to find the initial state, otherwise, they will continue to torture themselves in the past, and in this life, why can't they live with themselves.

Shen Mingya laughed lightly, "I hate myself, every time I see Lu Er, I hate myself...... My son, he doesn't deserve these ......."

Thinking of Lu Er, I lowered my eyes, how nice it would be if he came back with the child.

opened his mouth, "The past is over, people have to look forward......"

"Yes, the past is gone......"

Shen Mingya's body shook a little and took a deep breath, her head tilted back slightly, as if she was desperately suppressing some emotion, "Actually, there is one thing, I have been pressing it in my heart for more than 30 years, Xia Wendong and Xue Ruojun both misunderstood me about this matter, thinking that I was ruthless, but the truth is not what everyone thinks, it's just that I don't bother to explain." ”

I didn't speak, but when I saw Shen Mingya finally turn around, her eyes were ruddy, "Lu Er's father, my husband, chose to commit suicide by himself." ”

"Suicide?"

Wasn't it the sleeping pill you gave him?

Shen Mingya raised her feet and walked in front of me, her breathing trembled slightly, "At that time, my eldest son was gone, he stayed for several days in a row, sleepless, I knew that he had a little heart problem, I was afraid that something would happen to him, let him rest when he went home, and guess what he said to me?" ”

Looking at Shen Mingya's eyes, I think I can guess that it is nothing more than divorce.

Shen Mingya smiled self-deprecatingly, "My son is still cold, he is going to Anfeng's side to find Xue Ruojun, I said impossible, in this life, as long as I live, I will not let you be with that woman, I will always remember the last words he said to me, he said, Mingya, are you trying to force me to death?" ”

She cried, but the corners of her lips were smiling, smiling sadly, tears kept pouring out, "I said, you are going to force me to death, if you are with her, I will die in front of you with Lu Er, so that you will live in our shadows for the rest of your life!" ”

I didn't speak, looking at Shen Mingya covering her heart, "I just want to keep him, but he didn't reply to my words, he closed the door of the room, and when I went to knock on the door again in the morning, there would be no sound inside, I was afraid that something would happen to him, so I found the key to go in, and then I found out that he had taken sleeping pills...... Not a word was left for me......"

The tendons on Shen Mingya's neck were deeply sunken, and her eyes were resentful and sad, "He didn't give me a word, but he still held a photo of himself and Xue Ruojun in his hand, you say, what does this mean to me?!" ”

I don't know, I can just imagine the horror, hesitation, humiliation, grievance and anger of a wife at that moment.

"I took him to the hospital, even if he was already stiff, I begged the doctor to give him a rescue! I can't let him die, I'm afraid my child won't have a father! ”

Shen Mingya wiped her tears, "But the result is already like that, I have to accept it, he would rather die than leave me......"

Taking a deep breath, Shen Mingya seemed to be forcing herself to calm down, "Actually, you were right before, my eldest son may not die, he begged Lu Zhixin not to go, Lu Zhixin would pull him as long as I stretched out my hand when Lu Zhixin threw him away, but I hesitated for a second, I thought the child was injured, then Lu Zhixin couldn't walk even if he wanted to, it was this second, when my hand was stretched out, the child rolled downstairs......"

I looked at her quietly, what was I going to say? Self-inflicted?

Shen Mingya smiled sadly, "When I was a child, I always felt that there was nothing I could do, and even my teachers when I was in school would be nervous when they saw me, because of my father, because of my grandfather, so I didn't believe that I would lose my faith, but in the end, it was a blow to Chiguoguo......"

She turned around again and turned her back to me to adjust her emotions, "Xue Ruojun questioned me, saying that her child's stillbirth was due to eating the nutrients that I had done with my hands and feet, and I really didn't touch the nutrition, but the stillbirth may have something to do with me......

Because in those days, I cursed her every morning and evening, cursing Xue Ruojun for not being able to give birth to children, and cursing her for not dying well...... You say, stillbirth, is it my reason, or is God opening his eyes. ”

"I'm not going to make unnecessary judgments about things that have passed."

Shen Mingya laughed, "Yes, I'm not sure myself, but Xue Ruojun is sure, she thinks it's me who did it, I don't care, anyway, the goal is achieved, I resigned from public office, went to the sea to do business, and I was busy like a madman, what was it for, I just wanted to make achievements for everyone to see, show Lu Zhixin, how far I got Xue Ruojun, what did she compare with me, but ......"

Her voice faded a little, "I ignored Lu Er, when I wanted to stop and accompany him, he was already estranged from me, I am an unqualified mother, many people say that I am ambitious, only I know, I am vanity, what I am most afraid of is to let people see that I am actually a failure, I lost my husband, my eldest son, and even my younger son, I also have a heart for me, I am too a failure." ”

I listened quietly, throwing out those grievances and hatreds, and in front of me was nothing but a sick and frail wretched woman.

has been widowed for more than 30 years, and the six relatives who almost tossed do not recognize it, pitiful and hateful.

"Auntie......"

"Call me mother-in-law."

I nodded and exhaled, "Why are you talking to me about this?" ”

Now that it's all put down, let's wave it and smile, the moment is the most important thing, and the dusty past doesn't mean anything to me.

Shen Mingya turned to look at me, "I just, I want to ask you for something." ”

"What's the matter?"

She took a few steps closer to me, "I'd like to meet, Lu Zhixin." ”

I was a little puzzled, "See Lu Er's father?" But he's ......"

"I know he's still down there."

Shen Mingya grabbed my hand, and her tearful eyes jumped with longing, "Other masters told me that he can't leave for a while, and he has to stay down for a long time, I have been in contact with so many onmyoji, and I also want to see him, but if he doesn't come up, no time, I can't invite him, in my life, I only have one wish, that is, I want to talk to him, don't leave me nothing, don't let me think of him, just remember when he asked me, is he going to force him to death, I don't want to, I really never thought about it, Bao Si, you help me." …… Please......"

My nose was slightly pantothenic, and I sighed, "Okay." ”