In life, in the eyes of others, I am a very strange person, I am not good at sociability, I don't like to talk, and it is very difficult to get along with, my good friend, I can count it with ten fingers, the only criterion for me to choose a friend, is that you have to stand me. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

To be honest, most people can't stand people with a weird temper like me, and they often feel especially awkward with me, because my habitual sudden silence, or habitual sudden and dense talk, makes most people who deal with me confused.

To put it bluntly, the emotional intelligence is a bit low, and getting along with people is not skillful.

But I think I'm very kind, not a person full of malice, I don't reject loneliness, it doesn't matter if I'm alone in an empty house for ten days and ten nights, when there are many people, I also have a deep sense of loneliness, and when I'm alone, I feel no different from when I'm alone, I care about friendship like this, I don't care and can't pretend, I jump for joy when I learn that my good friend is coming, and when he leaves, there will be no mood swings.

I am such a boring, tasteless person, life fluctuations are very small, the days are ordinary and great, I think, people like me, the most suitable for me to sit quietly in front of the computer to code words, tired to stand up and jump, thirsty to drink saliva, tired to smoke a cigarette, and then squint to think about things.

Unlike when I was a year old, I can now fully accept myself as I am, and treat it calmly, with no scruples about the strange gaze of others, except in front of leaders and superiors.

In fact, it's not that I suddenly remembered the summer in my life, to be precise, I should think about it from time to time, and I often dream about it.

In the two years since the end of that summer, every time I dream of that romantic and somewhat sad summer, I can't help but cry when I wake up, and I can't help but sigh in my heart that it's good to be alive, but now that I think about it, it's actually not a big deal, maybe life is alive, with the help of time, it will slowly become nothing, just like when I first arrived.

That summer, I was graduating from my senior year, but at the end of my final semester, I had 13 subjects in my course. Main Subject.

Overnight in an Internet café together, my good friends who played DOTA have got their graduation certificates, but I'm still at a loss, struggling, and at a loss, people like me sometimes don't care about anything, even including the fact that I hung up 13 subjects and was about to graduate indefinitely, I can treat it as if it didn't exist, and I was good all day long.

But to be honest, that's all superficial effort, but in fact, it's also burning in the heart.

I also made up my mind that I must take all 13 subjects on the last chance to take the make-up exam before graduation.

But it was so difficult that I overestimated my strength, and the last make-up exam was over, and I didn't even take half of the subjects, just locked myself in my dormitory, or tied to the computer in an Internet café, smoking a cigarette and thinking about life.

In the eyes of my classmates, I was completely ruined, but I didn't care about their eyes at all.

At that time, I had four very good friends, I can still remember their names, one of them has a good relationship with me until now, although the world is different, but once a year, in the days when I failed a large area, he encouraged me with his heart and lungs, helped me, and even accompanied me to repeat when I repeated my fifth year in the second year.

The other two have never been in touch with each other.

At a dinner party where I was late, the two friends, who I thought were my best, sneered at me in front of many people, and said "this person is wasted".

On that very hot summer night, I squatted at the door of that small restaurant, tears flowed, but I desperately held back my voice, covered my eyes, and slapped myself countless times, I have always been a person who is at ease with what happens, never cares about the environment, never cares about who is around, but on that hot night, I feel a chill in my heart.

I'm starting to care.

I changed my phone number, buried myself in revision, lost all my emotions and fun, and only review remained.

What I didn't do in the second half of my senior year, I did it in the first half of my fifth year.

In half a year, I completed 13 failed subjects. Main Subject.

After getting the graduation certificate, the instructor politely told me with an incredible look that the tuition I paid could also ensure that I had a good time in the university for half a year, I raised my middle finger at him, and stepped on the long-distance bus home without looking back.

Then, holding your breath and putting on a cold face, looking for a job, getting married... In the next two years, every time I dreamed that I had failed the course for half a year, I would wake up with tears in my eyes and cry silently; Every time I think of the half year when I made up for the course, I would be in a daze for several hours, as if I was in another world.

Sometimes I fantasize that maybe my two friends deliberately set up a game and used a trick?

Two years later, I got married, and one of those two friends called me and asked me why I hadn't invited him.

I was silent, listening quietly to the other person's complaints, trying to hear any nouns, verbs, interjections about that hot summer night.

I didn't hear a word, I didn't say a word, I silently pressed the hang up button, this friendship in a mask of human skin, I don't want it a long time ago, maybe it was in a trance that day, and I actually gave birth to a little fantasy and illusion.

After pressing the hang up button, that hot summer night is no longer my nightmare, and when I dream again, when I wake up, I will say to my daughter-in-law with a sense of accomplishment, hey, you know? Many years ago, it took me half a year to make up for 13 failed subjects!

My daughter-in-law pursed her lips and said, "You have said it 800 times, and you have to thank the two people who sneered at you behind your back at that time."

I said, I am very grateful to them, they gave me strength, but they will never be my friends again in this life.

I said that since that hot summer, I haven't had a moment where "life is so hard".

That hot summer taught me two things:

1. Don't have illusions about anything.

2. It's already so bad, how bad can it be?

…

Experience makes a person, my experience makes me who I am now, and many things that I couldn't do before that hot summer night are a piece of cake after that hot summer night.

This book is already 300,000 words, why not add another zero?