The icy wind blew the fog and wrapped our boat tightly in it. The damp water vapor sticks to my body, cold and biting, and it is my heart that is colder than it. Looking at the lines of beautiful words, I still don't want to admit that the girl I love the most can only live in my memories in the future.

I don't know if I was crying or if it was too much moisture that wet my eyes, I just knew that I kept wiping it. I can wipe away the tears on my face, but I can't wipe away the memory in my heart, and I can't wipe away the gentle person who once gave me a strong stroke in my gray and dark years. Painting the town, painting the field, painting the camellia, painting the forest, painting her gentle gaze, painting her intoxicating lip prints.

I put her letter away and placed it in the envelope with the flowers and butterflies on it. Without speaking, I made my way through the clammy fog and the fierce wind, and went into the cabin alone. I took out the box that belonged to me, and it contained the gifts that had been given to me over the years. I dug out the book of Dr. Luo's prescription, and I sandwiched the envelope in it, and then pressed the book under the wine jar that Uncle Lu Jin gave me. I wiped my face again, how did I get into the cabin, and my dry face got wet again after a while? I looked up at the top of the cabin, but I couldn't help but weep bitterly, and tears flowed out of my eyes like the little canal not far from her house. I sat there with the captain for a day, and if I could do it all over again, I would sit there for the rest of my life.

I cried so much that my whole head felt like it was going to explode. I don't know how long I cried again before I fell asleep on the battered box. By the time I got up again, it was already noon, and I was lying on the mattress that the old captain had made in the cabin, and the quilt on my body was the one that had been built in Qingya's house. It seemed that everything had been worked out, and they carried my things to the ship, then dizzed me and set sail with me. I sighed and sat up on my own, still a little dizzy, and I looked out through the crack in the door of the cabin at the old captain, who was sitting alone in the bow of the boat, facing the sea, not knowing what he was thinking.

I think about what happened yesterday, and when I think of the good times with Qingya, I can't help but feel uncomfortable all over my body. It's like a drug-free addict, and the desire to put nowhere to put it puts me in hell.

After a while, the old captain glanced into the cabin, and when he saw that I was awake, he took the food he had brought with him at Qingya's house, and then sat down next to me.

"Don't think too much about it, kid, let's eat something first." He said softly, not in the usual serious and heavy tone.

I don't know the old captain is to blame for the incident, and I don't blame the patients who have been in trouble. Life is mostly helpless, and perhaps life itself is a kind of helplessness. I looked at the rice in the lunch box and knew that it was made by Qingya. Even though I never said it, she figured out what I liked to eat and how I liked to do it. But isn't it ironic to eat them again now? As if to comfort the last meal of the eliminator.

I shook my head at the old captain, even if it was any other food, I didn't have any appetite at all. The old captain sighed and said to me, "You are still young, you have experienced too little, and there are many things you have not seen. When you have experienced the mountains and rivers and want to come back, I will send you back. ”

"You say, does she love me?" I looked at the old captain's face and asked, I knew how inappropriate it was to ask him, but I had no one to ask now, and I had only one to rely on.

"It depends on how you understand it," said the old captain calmly, "if it is love to let another person live her own life without restraint, then she will love you." ”

I understood what the old captain meant, I just felt that I was not so worthy, worthy of someone who was willing to give up his flowery years for me, but did not get any return and gain. I'd rather that she hated me so that I didn't bother her and left, thinking that way I wouldn't have to live with self-blame and guilt. But between the old captain and her, I was destined to choose one to be sorry for, and she helped me make the final choice.

I sat in the cabin all afternoon, and in the evening the old captain found some beef and biscuits in sauce. I looked at the worried face of the old captain, and took some of it.

I spent the next few days in a state of confusion, and at night I didn't want to sit on the deck and watch the moon sing, I didn't want to touch everything related to her, so I locked myself firmly in the cabin, as if this was the only way to feel a little safe.

Slowly, my body gradually lost weight, and my slightly dark face became haggard and pale. The old captain was also very sad to see me like this, he was himself a man of few words, so he only secretly observed my expression from a distance, and brought me something delicious when it was time to eat. I know how much he wants me to get better, but I can't sell this hurdle in my heart anyway. At night, the old captain sat alone in the bow of the boat, watching the cool toad in the water alone. It seemed to be the other way around, I was in the cabin and there he was. But there is one thing that is not counterproductive, and that is that he doesn't want to disturb my heart.

I opened the cabins and went out, and sat down next to the old captain, who, as if he had been a little surprised by my arrival, hastened to find a topic and said, "Look," the old captain pointed to the glowing jellyfish in the distance, "it is still rare for so many jellyfish to appear in groups." ”

I watched the jellyfish glow pale blue, floating like balloons on the surface of the sea, and it was beautiful, but I also knew that they were poisonous and could not even be touched. I turned my head to look at the old captain and saw that he had been staring at me, his eyes full of pity and back. It may be that my haggard appearance made him feel cold, I smiled at him, he sighed, and said, "If you really want to go back, then I'll send you back." ”

I shook my head and said, "There is no way to have both worlds, since Qingya has made a choice, I will accompany you after that." ”

"Kid, you don't owe me anything."

"No, I like to stay with you, didn't we say we'd venture together until we grew old?" I smiled and said to the old captain, who laughed innocently, put his arm around my shoulder, and looked at the white moon together.