I have been writing online articles for four or five years, and the first one was written when I was in college, and that one was written very carefully, and the editor also sent an electronic version of the signed contract at that time, but I was faced with the pressure of graduation, finding a job, and getting married, so I gave up signing the contract and hastily finished the first children's book. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

At that time, I thought that there was no stable time to code words, and the update could not be guaranteed. So I politely declined.

Thinking about it now, I really regret it, I was still too naïve at that time, thinking about things.

There was no code word in the middle of 3 years, with the help of my family, I found a job, got married, and had children, my children are two years old, and by the way, my girl is very beautiful.

Everything is going well, and I don't have the trepidation and anxiety I had when I first graduated.

But the guilt of the hasty conclusion of my first book grew day by day, and I fell into a new kind of uneasiness, as if in my life, if I didn't write a successful novel, I would be sorry for myself, sorry for the story I had written seriously and not finished seriously.

Now I go to work during the day, take care of the children after work, and only one or two hours before going to bed can be used to code words, my profession is a reporter, which is very hard, and everyone who is a reporter should know.

I started writing novels again, this is what I want to do, and I find that the time I have to code words now is even more nervous than when I just graduated and gave up code words!

It's really not that I don't report it, it's not time, when I just graduated, I obviously had more time to write than now, much more than now, but I gave up at the time and didn't write, but now I want to pick it up, and I can't sleep enough to sleep and my brain is not enough to turn hard.

Everyone owes it.

I didn't write for three years, but I thought about it more and more, and finally I couldn't hold it anymore and started to write, squeezing the time to write.

I don't know if anyone owes as much as I do, I feel like I'm 'paying the debt' for the ideals I think about day and night, who made me give it up in the first place? But I feel good, hurt and happy.

I sometimes wonder if the trajectory of my life would have changed when I accepted the contract when I graduated, and maybe I could write novels full-time now, instead of taking the money to buy cabbage and selling white flour to do a job that I didn't really like.

I know that regret is meaningless, I have discussed with many people, including the elders, after they gradually understood my ideals, they also felt that I was writing novels while working, if one day, writing novels can make money, and earn more money than I earn at work, I can quit, this is the helplessness of reality, but it is indeed the most correct advice.

After talking for a long time, I actually want to express a mood full of energy:

I'm Even Evan, I write stories that I love to write, and I'm working hard to meet the prerequisites for quitting my current job!

One day, if I can write novels and earn an annual salary of 5W, I will quit!! I wrote a 10,000-word resignation letter and threw it to my leader! By the way, my leader values me very much and treats me very well.

Then, I went to live the life of my dreams, full-time writing.

I wish my dreams come true!

――2016.12.1