The mobile phone I currently use is for seminars, and there are big limitations in terms of signal and functionality, but because NOG also has a share of the seminars, and the cyberball accounts for the vast majority of them, I am not surprised that John Bull can make calls. On the other hand, even if I could intervene, the instability of the call still made me feel that under normal circumstances, even a cyberball would not be able to interfere too much in the current situation. I don't know if this was a deliberate illusion on the part of the cyberball, or if it was true, but in any case, I couldn't reach out to John Bull and the others, and in most cases, I had to deal with the current situation on my own, which is an indisputable fact.

According to John Bull's tone, the torchlight, which is an important part of NOG, cannot have an upright identity and get involved in the current research of the symposium. From this, it can be judged that the seminar is a part of the invaders, and has formed a state of mutual containment, and both sides have enough patience to suppress large-scale actions to indirectly influence and wait for the formation of the "paradise". I feel that this relative stability in hostilities will not be easily broken unless there is sufficiently obvious evidence that the current situation has completely turned in favor of one side or the other. And people like me, who can use some identities to operate in mental hospitals in a more direct way, are naturally valuable.

To put it mildly, my current identity is not just a cyberball for many people, but also useful - I am not only Dr. Nguyen Li's adopted son, but also her patient; I am both an intruder of the apocalyptic realm and a psycho in this repeater world. Multiple identities have given me more room to maneuver in the current ambiguous situation. So far. The only ones who really had complete malice towards me were the Doomsday Shinrikyo and the Nazis, whether it was NOG or Area 51, or lone occult experts like Father Edward, who at one point hinted at the intention of cooperating. Of course, after my behavior showed a certain tendency, they were more in a way of "guiding" and "using", and did not directly engage in face-to-face negotiations with me.

My position will not change, but. My actions and purposes should be fickle and ambiguous in the eyes of others. I think they have a lot of scruples about approaching me.

From the perspective of a post-apocalyptic vision. My presence was also an extraordinary event. I believe that to this day, no one can be sure why there are two "Takakawa". Probably in the other Gao Chuan, before I recovered, there were already a lot of clues, but it is necessary to connect these clues. It is impossible to do this without the realistic perspective of the hospital. And I also believe that Color-Tie and Dorothy shouldn't be against anyone else in Doomsday. Speaking of the reality of the hospital, their concerns must be similar to "Gao Chuan" being unable to say the reality of the hospital.

In the eyes of these people, I am such an unknown person, highly skilled, and occupies an identity that is quite easy to move. I don't know. Whether the situation of his promotion to the fourth-level Demon Pattern Envoy has been exposed on a large scale. But the odds are high. As far as Father Edward is concerned, I don't think so. He can keep it a secret. On the contrary, it would be easier to understand if he used my intelligence to make deals with various forces.

I really don't know what my weight is, but I know very well that I am not weightless, and I must occupy an important position in the planning of all parties. I may not understand what their plans were, and what impact my actions had, but I knew that I was not "just doing what I wanted to do". So far, on this peninsula, and even earlier, what I have encountered is actually a kind of "guidance" formed by the cross-influence of various forces after playing games with each other. They may not be able to get all the benefits from me, but they must get some of the benefits, and this is something I can't stop. It is also completely impossible to "do only what is beneficial to yourself" and completely eliminate the enemy's plans.

They lead the mysteries to happen, and I am a participant in them, and any impact I have, whether positive or negative, should be in their estimation. But, on the other hand, they can't completely limit the influence I have, but can only try to correct the bad side of myself and expand the good side of myself in the aftermath of my participation in the incident, and in the process, I will inevitably have a game with other forces.

It's a very complicated situation, and I'm not much different from them, except that I don't actively generate mysterious events. Neither a flag nor a standard-bearer, but a necessary component in a macro situation. It is precisely because it is necessary that it has an advantage.

Yes, the "necessary" advantage. From this point of view, they would not have been able to accomplish their plans without my involvement, whether purposeful or purposeless, accidental or inevitable.

The most important benefit that this advantage brings to me is not to bargain with my own participation, because, no matter what I want, the situation in this game cannot keep me out of it, and my plan does not allow me to completely stay out of it. The advantage is that my actions are relatively freer and less restrictive, and in this certain process, the greatest thing is unscrupulousness, but the other side cannot entangle all the forces against me alone, and must also consider the Asian feelings and whisperers that I represent.

To put it simply, as long as I'm active, the Asian side is safe, and the whisperers, though weak, are also feared.

My activities in Europe and the United States are a kind of umbrella in themselves. So that most people with ulterior motives have to look at where I am. Although I am only one person, it is as if I am walking in the center of the stage, and no matter who the light is assigned to, there will always be a conspicuous pillar of light shining on my body, so that no one else can completely ignore it.

Yes, I know that there are many important mysterious events happening in places that I cannot observe, and these mysterious events have also had a huge impact. And I don't know the true face of those mysterious events, let alone the impact of them, because I am not the protagonist in those mysterious events. But. It's okay, isn't it? Because, even if I just pass by these events, it will tilt them.

From this point of view alone, I can be regarded as a kind of "deviation", just. The "deviation" I have created, unlike those of the Torchlight, will not derail the overall development, but will inevitably allow people to get a part of the benefits they expect.

I don't know much about the "deviations" of the torchlight, but. In most of the rumors, it appears in the form of "rampage", "no profit", and "lose-lose", which is a rather negative situation. As a result, while the Torchlight is a powerful and established organization, it is often unpopular with others. After all, no one expects that the qiē that they are ready to unfold in a way that they did not expect at all. In the end, it will end up badly. Even the people of the Torchlight themselves cannot really avoid the effects of this "deviation". If everyone is unlucky, they often can't escape.

It is precisely because of this that the Torchlight, which has such an evil "deviation" mystery, is only a powerful old organization, not the strongest mysterious organization, and it is obviously a cyber ball of an emerging organization. But it is behind in terms of reputation and scale.

Now, John Bull's vague connection. I had to come into contact with these "deviations" like-stirring sticks.

I'm not a hidden character, since John Bull deliberately mentioned that the Torchlight had interfered. This means that even if I don't take the initiative to contact them, they will come to the door.

In this case, because I did not take the initiative to create mysterious events, but passively waited for mysterious events to come to my door, so I, who had nothing to do, decided to take the initiative to contact them. It is not a question of which choice is objectively beneficial, but merely a subjective personal decision.

After all, the research of the seminar, put it on us patients, is only the work of drug testing. The whole research process cannot be seen, and even if it is seen, it cannot be seen from the various theories.

I decided on my goals:

With the protection of Dr. Nguyen Le and Marceau as the core, we will intervene more in the situation in the nightmare, and try to influence the work of the seminar from the perspective of the nightmare. Dr. Nguyen Le is through my diary and communication with me to judge the impact of the new drug, and he should be more concerned about the impact of the new drug on me personally, and the results obtained after the diagnosis and treatment will be fed back into the study, which in turn will have an impact on the study itself. In such a chain, the changes in the nightmare, what happened in the nightmare, what I saw, and what I did, and the impact I caused, would all be very important factors that would affect Dr. Nguyen Li, and thus indirectly affect the research work.

Compared with this kind of influence, I do not have the position and ability to directly interfere in the operation of mental hospitals, the state of patients, and even the research itself.

To protect Dr. Nguyen Le and Marceau, you must first determine where they are. The chain verdict has told me that Marceau is not in this ward, and Dr. Nguyen Li should have more time in his office and some secret research base. I need to find these places, of course, to get relevant information from NOG. That's one of the reasons why I took the initiative to reach out to the Torchlight.

I'm not averse to making deals with them and being used by them in the process. Because, the "deviation" of the torchlight itself is mysterious, which means that things often do not change in the way that everyone expects. Since they are here, any "utilization" and "guidance" will deteriorate.

In fact, there is a contradiction in this kind of prediction to accomplish the protection I want - although I have a plan, of course, "deviation" may also have an effect in my plan, so that I cannot accomplish what I want to do.

Yes, the worst possibility is that no one, including me, can predict the outcome of the research in the Peninsula Psychiatric Hospital and the seminar, and the only reason why I feel that I have a better chance than others is still the peculiarity of "Jiang".

Because there is a "river", I can have something to look forward to, because there is a "river", so I can take the initiative to get in touch with the dangerous and abnormal "deviation", because there is a "river", I can conceive the craziest plans, regardless of how reason is, how science is. In front of the "river", both God and philosophy are dead, and science is like dross. However, on the body of "Jiang". However, there are some phenomena that are in line with the occult and scientific theories called "chaos".

It's ridiculous to think about anything, but I can't help but think about it. It's a painful paradox, and I have to split them. In the dark abyss, find a path to a happy ending. And human thinking and imagination cannot exceed the limits of being human, so we can only use the limits of thinking and imagination as much as possible. With such madness, to get a result.

I believe that being a human being and being limited to oneself is as crazy as one can imagine. It must be tolerated by the "river" that surpasses the limits of "people". The impossibility of "man" is possible for "Jiang".

Yes, for me, the current "Jiang" is such a concept, such a hole card.

I repeatedly stood firm in my thoughts, because, if I didn't. Like everyone else, I think it's a delusion and give up completely. There is also a limit to people's endurance. Even a mystical expert will collapse when he is confronted with something beyond his limits.

And I, as "Takakawa", as a person who dreams of becoming a hero, must not collapse.

I stepped out of the hospital room without attracting anyone's attention. Because the ward is full of patients. There are no hospital administrators at all, and management here seems to be relaxed at the moment. There was no one to maintain order, and no one to guard the gates. I didn't even see the camera. I didn't look for it, but my experience was enough to find an easy location for the camera in the first place, and if I didn't, it would only mean that they didn't have monitors installed, or that they used a more advanced method of concealment. However, I feel that this is not an attempt to interfere with the actions of patients at all times, but to maintain an attitude of "intervening when necessary, and allowing it to develop in normal times".

To explore the psychology of some people, it is not always necessary to talk directly to the other person face-to-face, and it is possible to draw some conclusions just from observing the arrangement. I don't think my level of psychology is very advanced, but I still act with my own observation and understanding, and I don't doubt what I judge in the first place because "my level of psychology is insufficient".

Therefore, I have always felt that I am a person who is more capable of action than judgment.

The rain is very fine, and standing outside, within a minute, the light patient gown will be completely soaked. The inhabited rooms in the ward could not be opened, and there was nothing to be used in the uninhabited places. I could only walk through the rain curtain empty-handed, in the direction where I could see the outline of the building from the upper floor.

From what information I have received, the psychiatric hospital has been remodeled several times, and the existing area is the largest ever, while most of it has remained relatively pristine. However, from the two areas I have consciously visited: the wooden house area and the ward I am in at this time, the distance between the inner buildings of the mental hospital is too far apart. Although I judged that the ward I was in was more central than the wooden house area, it was still several hundred meters away from the other buildings that loomed in the background, and with the forest road and the slope, there was a strong sense of isolation from each other.

It's like dividing different patients into different areas, using distance to keep them in a relatively closed life, not being interfered with by the environment in other areas, just like using psychology to skillfully separate "environmental warehouses".

The patients in my current ward must be different from those in the cabin area. Although they should all be mentally ill, in terms of pathological tendencies, one side is this side and the other side is that side.

I was assigned to this side, probably for some purpose, but if the patients in the ward did not come out and let me observe them closely, it would be difficult for me to find the commonalities.

I didn't know much about the overall structure of the mental hospital, so although I was planning to go to other areas, it was difficult to judge what kind of place I was going to and what functions it would assume in the whole mental hospital. And I'm trying to connect the environment along the way to the environment in the nightmare - and I do that, but what I see along the way can't connect with the places I pass through in the nightmare.

This psychiatric hospital is just too big.

However, on the other hand, I heard that the staff is still in a state of reshuffle, so the number of people is even sparser than in the past. In my opinion, the number of employees in this psychiatric hospital is roughly not sufficient for the current operating conditions. I also wonder if this scarcity of manpower is a superficial situation that can be created by a seminar, or if it is the result of the various forces of the Doomsday Illusion holding each other down.

There was an abnormality in the wooden house area, and there was also an abnormality in the ward I was in. These harbingers, to my mind, were signs that an anomaly was spreading in a psychiatric hospital. Because, even if I see more anomalies on my way to other areas, I won't be surprised.

It is also true that it is normal to be close to the right roads that have been built by man, but walking on these roads and looking at the forks, corners and depths that have become more blurred in the rain can create an unnatural feeling. Walking alone in the forest at night may inevitably produce all kinds of illusions and associations that frighten oneself, and then produce great fear, but that kind of fear is completely different from the unnatural feeling at this time.

Now, those forks, corners, and depths, there is a sense of substance in what is hidden, as well as the emotions of danger and fear.

The difference between them is like the illusion of what is really lurking and feeling that there is something lurking.

As I walked, the ominous, malevolent anomaly followed me all the way, or appeared in the distance from time to time. I felt their peeping, and I subconsciously felt that they wouldn't pounce right away at such a time. There is a clear, sensory dividing line that separates me from them.

The woods made an unusual noise in the sound of rain. It wasn't the sound of leaves and plants being beaten by raindrops. As the clouds thickened and the evening passed, the light became dimmer and the anomalies became more active. I had to light the lanterns, which were very similar to those used in the special customs and ceremonies of the town where we had settled before we arrived on the peninsula, and seemed to be full of stories and metaphors, like black fairy tales designed to scare children.

Actually, I didn't really understand why I had a history of skipping the hospital and was placed in a ward with such lax management. However, for now, it is good for me to be more relaxed.

Because I had to observe the environment, I didn't use a quick sweep, and I just got closer to the buildings that I could vaguely see before. In the rain, it looks like a monstrous cement behemoth. The closer you get to it, the more intense the sense of abnormality that pervades all directions. The style of the building itself, like trying to imitate a castle, but in the end, due to engineering problems, it became an unfinished building, and finally according to the structure of the unfinished building, the design was readjusted, and the construction was hastily completed, leaving an ugly appearance that was not like four.

There are four floors in total, except for the first floor, which is an entrance that extends out of the stairs, and each floor has a large sundeck that extends upwards. The entrance is surrounded by an overgrown courtyard and surrounded by a wooden fence. The main entrance of the front yard is also a very simple arched door, and the door number on it is quite scribbled and casual, and some of it falls off and cannot be seen clearly, so you can only guess and feel the meaning. It's roughly the slogan "XX Manor is at your service", and it is this kind of slogan that makes me feel that this place was not originally the territory of the mental hospital, but was included after the expansion of the hospital.

However, the psychiatric hospital did not repair the building itself, and on the outside it looked even worse than the ward I was in.

I surveyed the place, and when my eyes fell on a window nailed with wooden boards, the light inside lit up as if someone was moving. (To be continued)