Dr. Nguyen Le checked me again after dinner, and when we entered the study, we found that the room was a mess, as if someone had turned it over. Dr. Nguyen Le looked at me, but I didn't have any memories of it, I said to her, "I didn't do it", thinking to myself, maybe it's the ghost, maybe it's another thief, after all, the gate was broken by Tomie and can't be closed at all - I was surprised, Dr. Nguyen Le was not surprised by the destruction of the door lock, this room is also a cage for "dangerous mental patients", Dr. Nguyen Li specially strengthened the door and lock, which can not be opened by violence casually.

Another possibility is that I was "sleepwalking", and my body was not lying in bed all the time in that abnormal nightmare.

Dr. Nguyen Le is not angry, as she said before, she has long passed the stage where she would be angry about the "abnormal behavior of the mentally ill". Even if I say "I didn't do it", she won't think I'm quibbling and lying. I think that in her judgment, it will probably be "I really didn't do it" and "I did it but I didn't know it". This kind of thing is too common in the case of the mentally ill, and it is meaningless to pursue such a thing as "the mentally ill person is lying".

In short, I don't think that I caused the mess in the study. However, Dr. Nguyen Le soon found the medicine and syringes that had fallen on the floor. "You didn't take your medicine?" She frowned slightly, as if she had already made an assumption about the current situation. I knew what she was thinking, but I couldn't reverse hers.

"I don't remember." I was a little hesitant, but the answer should have been clear to me. I don't know why, I only remember clearly what happened to Tomie and the others, and what happened earlier. I only have a vague impression that I should have told Dr. Nguyen Le about the damage to the window, and then she told me to take medicine. After that, I went into the study, opened the secret safe and took out the medicine according to Dr. Nguyen Li's instructions...... And then what? Sakiya and they're coming. Did I take my medicine before that? It seems that I have eaten it, and I don't seem to have eaten it, and I prefer the former. But I'm not sure, and, judging from the medicine that Dr. Ruan Li picked up at this time, I shouldn't have taken it.

Such a feeling. It's like carelessly. Forget about a period of time – like when you're shopping, and suddenly wonder if you've closed the door before you come out. After going to the toilet at night and returning to the bed, I suddenly couldn't help but wonder if I had flushed the toilet.

I rarely get distracted when I do things, I think it's really weird, and there must be something wrong with my consciousness, so that I have a trance. I'm not sure. Will this state be related to the ghost, or will it expand a little? It has to do with the spread of "mystery" in the world of repeaters. Dr. Nguyen Li weighed the medicine and looked at me again, her eyes were calm, but I felt that she seemed to have something to say, but she didn't say it, and I subconsciously understood what she wanted to say and why she didn't say it. This feeling makes me a little uncomfortable.

The world in my eyes is different from the world in Dr. Nguyen Li's eyes, and she and I are very clear about this, and we each look at each other's actions with our own worldview, and the answers we get are naturally inconsistent and even contradictory. It was precisely because she knew this that Dr. Ruan Li stopped talking, and in her heart, she may have always thought that I didn't know what I had done.

In reality, however, I wasn't sure if I had done those things. As I tried to recall my memories at that time, I was in a trance.

Dr. Nguyen Le cleared the medicines that had fallen in front of my eyes, and after putting them back in the medicine box one by one, the quantity proved that I had indeed not taken the medicine.

"It's okay, Ah Chuan, you know, you're not a normal person." "It's not uncommon for mentally ill people to not know what they've done," said Dr. Nguyen Lê. You don't want to be hit by that, I don't think you will, because you're by my side, you've learned about it, and you've seen those cases in the clinic, haven't you? The treatment I have designed for you will only stop after confirming that you are truly back to normal, and that your condition has been good for a while, but it does not mean that you can continue to be normal, because some psychotic relapses are very insidious and frequent, and I often emphasize this. ”

"Yes, Mom." I say. I know that Dr. Ruan Li didn't actually do anything wrong, I think she misunderstood me, but this misunderstanding is not a mistake, my feelings fluctuate, just because I'm not sure what I've done, the situation in the study, so I don't have any excuses - in fact, there are, it's just that these excuses are not recognized by normal people, let alone accepted by a psychiatrist like Dr. Ruan Li. Perhaps, I hope that she will see what I have seen, and accept what I say, whether or not she only exists in this repeater world, and why she exists in this world.

The people who can understand me are Sakiya, Hakkei, Tomie, and Sagawa, but perhaps deep down in my heart, I feel that only them are not enough, and I feel that it is because they understand me that it proves that they are not normal people either. The so-called "normal" and "abnormal" are relative concepts based on the concept of "majority" – universal, recognized by most people, even if it is physically incorrect, but still "normal". Just as the conclusion that "the earth is the center of the solar system and the sun revolves around the earth" has now been physically proven wrong, and it is not normal for people to think this way, but in the past, before it was proven to be wrong, it was still wrong, but it was normal because it was recognized by the majority of people and was a universal concept at the time.

In other words, if what I see, what I know, and the world I see from my perspective can be recognized by most people, then my abnormality, and the Sakiya who have been proven to be abnormal because they recognize me, will also become "normal"—even if normal does not mean correct.

Of course, such thoughts. It was quickly thrown away by me, because, if normal and correct are separated. The meaning will be halved, or even ridiculous because it becomes meaningless. What is correct and normal is what is truly valuable.

It was because I knew this that I was quickly not bothered by Dr. Nguyen Li's attitude. Dr. Nguyen Li and me, which one is the right one for the time being, will not be mentioned for the time being. But in the apocalyptic fantasy and the reality of the hospital, Dr. Nguyen Le is "normal". She looked at and understood my "abnormality" from the perspective of "normal". Isn't it taken for granted?

The feeling of being mentally ill and being strictly regarded as mentally ill is not exactly the same, or even not the same. But it's just a matter of emotion. I know. Dr. Nguyen Le must have known this, so what she said and did was to treat me. Her repeated emphasis on me being a mentally ill person is actually trying to make me constantly look at my own psychopathology from the perspective of a normal person. Perhaps, a person who knows that he is mentally ill and constantly tries to look at himself from a normal perspective. Is it easier to recover to normal than a mentally ill person who does not know that he is a mentally ill person?

I don't know. But I think that's what Dr. Nguyen Le thinks. Dr. Nguyen Le has tailored therapy for me that I have never seen in other books and cases. I am the only clinical patient of this therapy. Although I don't think Dr. Nguyen Le is completely right, at least, I don't think she is completely wrong. I don't think that her treatment can save me from the apocalypse, the world from the apocalypse, and restore the sick people who have been eroded by the "virus", but it should be able to calm my spirit.

Whether this qiē is real or unreal, there is no doubt that I am mentally ill.

And a stable spirit is always very important for an actual mentally ill person.

Dr. Ruan Li pressed the handle of the syringe, and a stream of water splashed from the tip of the needle, and I stared at the waterline, as if I saw something in a trance, and returned to a certain scene, and the smell full of immediacy was attached to my nerves like a reptile and slowly squirmed. Later, I thought that it should be in the hospital reality, and Dr. Nguyen Li did the same thing. It wasn't until the tip of the needle was stuck in a vein that I felt a slight pain, and I woke up with a shiver this time. However, by this time, the injection was over. Dr. Nguyen Li pressed a cotton swab on the needle hole and handed it to me for me to continue pressing.

"Within ten minutes, the effects will come out and you'll feel sleepy, even though you've just taken a nap." Dr. Nguyen Le packed up the medicine and recorded it on the form, while saying, "But I recommend that you take a few more vitamin tablets." As he spoke, he took out a bottle of solid pill medicine from the drawer and put it on the table, "You didn't sleep last night or today, okay, no need to answer, I know you didn't sleep well, your mental state is like a nightmare." When people are dreaming, the brain does not get enough rest, but the drug just injected can help you fall into a deep sleep. This medicine belongs to the type of sleeping pills, but it is much more dangerous than sleeping pills, whether it is the composition of the medicinal materials or the danger, it is impossible to pass the examination, and the difficulty of making it also makes it unsuitable for mass manufacturing, so it is of little value to modern medicine. The only advantage of it is that when used on specific people, it will be more effective than the drugs on the market, and the danger will be reduced to an acceptable level - for example, you don't need to worry about not waking up when you fall asleep. ”

"Just help with sleep?" I asked. Although Dr. Ruan Li said that it was a range of ten minutes, I had already begun to feel the effects of the medicine, and the constitution of the Demon Pattern Messenger could not even resist.

"Yes, it just helps with sleep." "But you should know how important sleep is to the human spirit. People who sleep well and sleep soundly will regulate their brains while sleeping. The functions of the human body are spontaneous to resist any malignant effects, and the adjustment of the internal details of the body to promote the psychological and spiritual effects has been proven in many cases. As long as you can get a good night's sleep and get a good night's sleep, the treatment will be half the effort. Most people who have been traumatized psychologically and spiritually need nothing more than a good night's sleep. With that, she looked up and smiled at me, "It's a simple thing, isn't it?" The difficulty is that patients are often unable to do it on their own, which is why they need the help of medication. For different mental and psychiatric diseases, the adjustment of the internal structure of the body is used to alleviate the condition, although it is also necessary to prescribe the right medicine. However, among the various effects of drugs, only the one that helps sleep is the most popular. ”

I couldn't hear what Dr. Nguyen Le was saying anymore. The air seemed to become heavy, and I suddenly remembered that I had a low-grade fever and bleeding from seven holes in a nightmare, but the idea of continuing from this gradually dissipated in a trance. The next moment. I fell into deep darkness and could not be myself.

No thinking, only feeling. However, even the senses are crippled. I don't know how long it took for me to realize that I was floating up in the darkness, after going through many layers. There is a hard touch coming from the back. I came to my senses all at once. I found myself in nightmarish Las Vegas, lying on a bench on the side of the street.

I'm dreaming again. Dr. Nguyen Lê's medication seems to be working. No, my body still has the feeling of falling into deep darkness before, so it should have taken effect, but in the face of "mystery", the effect of the drug has also become slight. Whether it is falling into a dark trance. Or the clarity of being in the dead city of Las Vegas, it can't be said to be a complete dreamless deep sleep. But there's no doubt that it's easier to fall in the dark than to be in Las Vegas as soon as you fall asleep.

It's not the first time I've fallen into the darkness, and the feeling is both scary and familiar, unexpectedly reassuring, and full of contradictions.

As always, I walked in the nightmare city of Las Vegas, and the unusually dead environment once made the feelings swell, however, in the remnants of the feeling of falling into darkness, this swelling has also disappeared, as if it was smoothed and suppressed by the darkness, and only that feeling of fear, familiarity, and peace of mind overrode all feelings. The only thing I can do here is to find more activities to save zài, whether human or non-human, if I am the only one who lives in the dead silence, then the qiē will not start.

I didn't know where to look, and I didn't have a clear destination, so even if I could, there was no need to do it. Long streets go one after the other, and when you cross one intersection, you will find the next. Although there are many trails, the main road is not complicated, but it feels endless. The surrounding scenery is all the same tone, and the atmosphere and scenery that were originally distinguished by the breath of life are all in a thick and cold gloomy tone, which makes people feel a kind of poverty, sleepiness and monotony. Here, any purpose, idea, and interaction is in a state of stillness until something emerges to deal with it.

Then, I saw that thing. I can't tell what it was, but it was the first living thing I saw in this nightmare of Las Vegas, and it didn't feel like something that was material—I know, it's weird to talk about material existence in a nightmare, but I don't have a better way to describe it—more like a formless shadow. It was hidden next to a garbage can on a darkly shadowed street corner, and it was impossible to observe its storage, and seeing it was like an accident. However, I know that this must not be accidental.

The shadow cannot completely conceal its sense of existence, as if it were born out of the shadow and become something else, although it looks like a shadow, it can already be distinguished directly by looking at it, otherwise I would not have been able to see it. It's weird, but it doesn't feel dangerous, like a newborn animal, instinctive and innocent. However, its existential form makes me subjectively think that it is not as harmless as it is seen at this time, and perhaps it is just a "protective color" formed in order to ensure its survival when it was just born. When I walked up, it didn't seem to be aware of my existence, but just writhed in place, stuck in the mire.

I looked at its existence up close, and although I felt that this formless and insubstantial thing should be translucent from a distance, when I got closer, I realized that I couldn't see through its body at all. It is indeed formless and insubstantial, not even a "fog", and its strange form makes people not want to touch it at all. Of course, if you were someone else, you would probably be driven by curiosity to come into contact with it. I pulled the dagger out of my pocket—I wasn't sure if it was a zài, but when I thought so, and when I did, I did pull it out, and it looked exactly like the dagger I had used in the past—and, without hesitation or pity, plunged into the shadows.

It suddenly twisted, and it didn't make a sound that my ears could hear, but it directly transmitted a feeling like a scream in my mind, it was not a sound, but it had a greater impact than a sound, and I could feel my feelings expanding, but I couldn't break through the residual feeling of darkness, but could only roll in the depths of my soul. If you hadn't gone through the previous darkness, you would probably have been affected by this sudden and violent expansion of emotions at this time, and would have done something that would not have been done in a normal state. If it were an ordinary person, it should be "crazy", and occult experts, especially consciousness walkers, should be able to tolerate and exorcise this effect, I'm not sure. Because I am very emotional, and I am a mental patient, and I cannot make an accurate assessment of the sensibility and rationality of other people, I am still not sure of my own judgment unless there is really a mysterious expert who has done the same thing in front of my eyes.

However, this sudden expansion of love also proves that this strange existence is not as harmless as it seems at first. When an emotion is so strong that it can forcibly seize control of the body, then it must be harmful. My feelings for "Jiang", the kind of intense fear that "Jiang" and "virus" caused me, naturally the same. This kind of harm is reflected in the fact that you will always do something that violates common sense, is not recognized by common sense, and is not treated by others, and people live in an orderly society, and if you do this kind of thing, you will definitely be counterattacked by the laws of social operation, and the strength of this counterattack will even make people die. I'm alive only because, my specificity, in some abnormal way, counteracts the conventional counterattack.

Even so, I can't be called alive, I just don't die completely. I was still hurt, not just physically, but mentally as well. I just endured these pains while sticking to my feelings for "Jiang" and moving forward like an ascetic. It's something that most people can't do, so I also think that when someone like me kills such a fragile weird with a dagger, they will definitely get hurt.

The expansion of love is this weird counterattack. This method does not seem to be as drastic as directly harming the body, but in a dream, how can it be said to directly harm the body? And the damage to the spirit and consciousness, making people behave like crazy, will definitely affect normal life.

From this point of view, these seemingly fragile and harmless weirdness, which seem to have been born from the shadows, are really an incomparably dangerous existence. Because, in this world, most people are just ordinary people, and under the trend of mysterious diffusion, Las Vegas, this nightmare, will also usher in a large number of ordinary people. If this nightmare is a manifestation of the capabilities of the Las Vegas repeater, part of the repeater trap, then the Nazis' intentions are intriguing - this nightmare can be mass-produced "madmen".

Electro Demon, Nightmare, Love Xù Inflated Maniac...... These clues inevitably lead me to sketch an image of a large group of maniacs with electronic demons, who will naturally have a huge impact on the current repeater world, like a part of the apocalyptic process, but these lunatics should be controlled by the Nazis and serve the Nazi idea.

Yes, this is based on the assumption that both the "electronic demon summoner" and the "nightmare" were used by the Nazis. Connected with the ongoing Third World War in the outside world, I can't help but think that, perhaps, the change in the Las Vegas repeater, the essence of which is that the Nazis are preparing for "conscription"? I have a slight understanding of the combat power that the Nazis have put into the world war, and no matter how you look at it, the Nazi troops that came down from the moon, although surprisingly strong, would still not be able to win if they were alone. It is true that Britain and the United States seem to be under tremendous pressure, but this does not mean that these two countries can be destroyed by those troops alone, and even these two countries cannot be destroyed, and naturally there is no need to destroy the miè world.

To destroy the United Nations and various mysterious organizations on their own, and then completely destroy the whole world, the Nazis did not have enough troops in theory. As a result, the Nazis used some means to continuously expand their forces. (To be continued......)