"Sissen, Sissen...... Sissen! Hey, wake up, Sissen. "www.biquge.info Father Sissen vaguely heard the voice, he felt that he did not close his eyes, but he had a feeling of abrupt awakening, the abnormal scene that was stirred upside down by two monsters quickly blurred, and another scene of warm but deep tones was magnified little by little in the retina. As the scene in front of him became clearer, the voice that called for him also had more texture. Father Sissen felt a tingling sensation coming from his right wrist, as if an electric current was running down a nerve to his eyeball, causing half of his face to twitch and making him sober all at once.

His eyes widened, he shook his head, feeling much more conscious, and then he realized that he was staying in the room, and the light of the fire from the fireplace illuminated most of the room, and the shadows of the small half danced with the firelight, and the further he went, the darker it became. There was a familiar and tranquil scent flowing in the air, and for a moment he couldn't remember where he was, and a sense of tranquility filled his heart, soothing the accumulated fear, and even so, he still shrunk his body.

Father Sissen looked at himself in silence and amazement, his mind still retaining vague fragments: unspeakable monsters, apocalyptic places, and all sorts of strange phenomena...... Despite the memories, the fragments are as vague as dreams that have passed. And at this moment, his body is completely different from his own body that has mutated into a horribly ugly body in his dreams - at least he still looks like a human being.

Father Sissen has not forgotten that he is an expert in the occult, nor has he forgotten the mysterious events he has experienced, and the knowledge and insights that have been preserved through various hardships. All his surprise was not a nightmare for himself, or a vague sense of indistinguishability between the dream and reality, nor was it the feeling that he had suddenly returned from a tragic battlefield to a quiet shelter-like room, but simply because he had such a sense of déjà vu about the situation at this time.

It's like ...... It's like going back to a moment in the past, back to a place that you have forgotten, or actively want to forget.

There is nothing surprising about this, it is not uncommon for similar things to happen in mysterious events, and the power of consciousness is enough to make a person fall into a dream and never wake up again. However, at times like these...... What else is going to happen?

Father Sissen heard the familiar voice again: a man, not light, not heavy, not passionate, not decadent, not restless, but can only be described as plain, like the habitual calling of family names at home.

"Sissen, you're finally awake." The man said.

Father Sissen finally remembered, this voice, this room, this scene in the fireplace - it wasn't a very unique day. The one who called himself...... He turned his head to look, and sure enough, as expected, it was a middle-aged man in the godfather's robe, the familiar face was not as old as it was later, but it was already crawling with gray hair and crow's feet, compared to most people, although it was full of intellectual feelings, it was not very unique charm compared to most people, of course, the feeling that this appearance gave people was absolutely wrong to put on this person. The inner workings of this godfather cannot be described by words like "charm", but it is very terrifying.

"Father Edward." Father Sissen said the man's name.

This was a face that could only be seen a long time ago, and in Father Sissen's memory, the man in front of him did not do much out of the ordinary at this age. He thought, in a moment of silence, there was a realization of why he was here, why he saw the other party with this face, all this needless to say, it is impossible to explain, but it really cannot surprise him.

Yes, Father Edward, he is here. It's a dream, it's a memory, but it's not just a dream, it's as if there's a revelation flowing through the quiet air. The tranquil aroma, the musty smell of the bookshelves, the smell of ink blended with multiple materials, and the rustle of the pen moving on the paper. It all feels like yesterday.

Father Edward sat behind his desk, staring through a stack of thick books, and Father Sissen propped himself up on the couch with his hands. He did not avoid Father Edward's gaze, even though he did not know what Father Edward was trying to say. This scene that happened at this time seems to have happened in the past, and on that day, he seemed to be awakened by the other party, and then, he also sat upright, waiting for Father Edward to speak.

"Sissen, what is a soul?" Father Edward's question seemed to come from the distant past.

"There is no soul." Father Sissen replied, as always.

He saw Father Edward tap the tip of his pen on the paper, and his face did not show any emotion, but from the feeling that his answer did not seem to be a big rebellion, at least for Father Edward himself.

After a while, Father Edward asked, "What is the flesh?" ”

"The materialistic manifestation of the sum of self-existence." Fr. Sissen said, after a pause, added: "It is the apparition before the contours of self-knowledge, the basis of contact, and the beginning of estrangement. ”

"There is no soul, so there is no soul metamorphosis. The physical body is only the physical manifestation of self-existence, the appearance of the outline of self-knowledge in front of others, so the deformation of the physical body is only the initial change of the surface of the self. Fr. Edward said, his eyes lowering again, not knowing what was being written, and continued in a non-critical tone: "If you look at yourself with such a philosophical view, all the pain that arises from the flesh, which comes from appearances, and which involves self-appearance, will not be able to save you. Sissen, you are a person who is indifferent to pain, and in my personal opinion, this is not a good thing. Maybe you are sensible and accustomed to using your intellect to suppress the distortions of sensibility and the illusion that is born based on sensibility, but it also means that it is difficult for you to get used to what arises from sensibility, it is difficult to break free, it is difficult to fight, you have no experience, and you don't have enough means. If you don't have enough experience, you can't get enough knowledge. In the mystery, the things that can be countered by reason, and the methods of using reason to confront things, are very narrow. ”

Saying this, Father Edward pointed at Father Sissen with the tip of his pen and said, "I can predict that there will come a time when the burning of sensuality will begin when you cannot notice it, and end in a way you cannot imagine, and you will be burned like a heretic, and you will only suffer with indignation, but this suffering will be meaningless, for it will not change anything, just as those who were judged by heresy in the Middle Ages, forgotten and become the squirrel and nourishment of the judges, and you will have nothing for yourself." ”

"Really?" Father Sissen did not answer directly, but his tone did not hesitate or flinch.

"Yes, it will be." "But, Sissen," said Fr. Edward, "I regard you as my own, you are my son, and whatever the future may become, I do not want you to suffer such senseless suffering, nor do I want you to fall into such a situation." He stared at Father Sissen, not superfluous with the resolution and stubbornness of the young man in his eyes, as if he were merely stating a fact: "I love you, so I will save you." Maybe you will gradually forget what I have done today, you will forget what I have said to you here, and maybe there will be some mysterious power that will take the salvation I have tried to do to you out of your mind, but I will still do everything in my power to save you, because I love you, son. I can't say for sure what kind of means it will be or where it will be, but I am sure that I will have the strength to save you at that crucial moment, and then you will remember this day...... Yes, it's a signal. ”

"What do I need to do?" Father Sissen was not moved, because he was no longer the same person he used to be, and the wisdom and will he possessed were stronger than those of this day, and he understood more things. Even so, he did not refute Father Edward's statement, especially the most crucial word in this statement: he loved him, they were godfathers and adopted sons, but they had the affection of father and son, which was undoubtedly denied by themselves, from the past to the present.

So, as if he had said the same thing, Fr. Sissen simply asked: What do I need to do?

"You don't need to do anything." Father Edward continued to write, without raising his head, and said: "There is no need to do anything, do not rely on the so-called subjective and objective, do not pay attention to sensibility and reason, do not argue with truth and falsehood. It's like you're asleep, dreaming, hazy, vague, and then accepting ...... Accept the changes that have happened to you, and you will know that it is what I have brought for you, maybe it is terrible, maybe you don't understand what it is, maybe it is difficult to accept from all kinds of human concepts, but it doesn't matter, you just need to know that I love you because I want to save you. ”

Father Sissen, as Father Edward said, did not distinguish between dreams and reality, and he had a clear sense of what his situation was at this moment, because the fear in his heart, though temporarily gone, did not abate, and the unknown, the incomprehensible, full of destructive power, did not become invisible because he was in a room full of déjà vu. He had understood why he was here, why he saw Father Edward, all of this, as Father Edward in front of him said: it was a brand, a sign, a revelation, a hint, a miracle that the Father had brought on his son, and everything that was displayed here, no matter how terrible, how incomprehensible, how full of déjà vu, how indistinguishable between dream and reality, was caused by the power of love.

A long time ago, on that day, Father Edward must have been telling the same thing.

“…… Maybe you'll be happy? Father Edward asked suddenly.

"Yes, I would be happy." Fr. Sissen is absolutely sure.

"I've never told you about the Six-Six-Six disguise, but I know that having such a gray mist demon in disguise is incomparably powerful, but it doesn't make me strong, it makes you strong." Father Edward said, "I can't control it, but maybe you can, because, when I become it, it becomes a part of you." I created it for you. ”

"No, not just for me." Father Sissen shook his head, "Father Edward, you would never give for someone. ”

However, Father Edward laughed: "You think you already know me? It's naïve, you can't see everyone, even the people around you, Sissen. I'm going to give for someone, too—especially when my son is in a senseless state of death and suffering, and no, I should say, if you are in a senseless state of death, it's when I'm already in a position to protect myself. ”

"You have a lot of important things to do, and you want to do those things well." Father Sissen said.

"Perhaps, many things are important, and my son, you are not the most important - but who decrees that, at the end of his life, he must do the things that are most meaningful and important to him?" Fr. Edward smiled, and there was a hint of a lifetime of banter in his eyes, "My life has been in search of the meaning of pain, and in the sense of pain I have peeked into the truth of the end times, but in the same way, I am very sure that my life should not only seek these things, because I am a man, not a god." I want to be God, but before I became God, I was still a human being, and a simple and unadulterated life was not in line with the meaning of life. ”

"So, what you've been looking for all your life, you have to give up at the last moment of your life?" Fr. Sissen asked rhetorically, "To stop before the finish line and to flaw your choice?" Turn yourself into a clown? "It's sharp, but it's not full of anger or resistance.

"You know what? In the face of the apocalypse, Sissen, we have always been clowns, and everyone is. Whether you accept it or resist it, it's a fact. So, it's not that I choose to be a clown, it's that my choice doesn't change the fact that I'm a clown. But what does it matter? My love for you doesn't fade because I'm just a clown, whether I choose to be a clown, or if I'm always just a clown, it won't make me not love you. Father Edward said this, taking the book at the top of the stack, opening it, and reciting in a deep voice:

"Once upon a gloomy midnight,

In the face of many strange and bizarre books, which have long been forgotten,

I pondered alone, lazy and exhausted;

When I started napping and almost fell asleep, suddenly there was a tapping,

It's as if someone is tapping lightly -

There are guests coming, I murmured softly,

That's it, nothing else.

I pushed open the window, and with a flutter of wings,

A raven from the sacred past solemnly walked into my room;

It neither greets me nor lingers for a moment,

but perched on top of my door with the demeanor of a gentleman and a lady,

This blackbird coaxed my sad hallucinations into smiles,

With its old and dignified and gentle face,

Say to me: Never again! ”