Dr. Nguyen Le suggested that "Paradise" could beat "Black Water", and while she gave many theoretical reasons, I was well aware that there were many key points to be addressed in order to actually accomplish this. Whether from the perspective of "the collective subconscious hallucinations caused by Claudia White" or "the mystery of more than four billion people", black water means an unbelievably powerful. Even if Dr. Nguyen Li describes "Paradise" as a virus-like medicine that needs to be injected into black water and play a role, it is definitely not a problem of taking an ordinary syringe and injecting it.

I have been maintaining the observation of chain decision, and although the observation of the surrounding things has been reduced to a very low value due to the interference of the data hedging phenomenon, the observation of Dr. Nguyen Li's physical reaction activity still makes me feel abnormal. Dr. Nguyen Li was a very healthy and normal person before the trip to the underground river, but after the incident of the underground river, the observations of her began to fluctuate, and this fluctuation could not be translated into more detailed data by me, but it directly expressed some ominous premonition in my feelings.

I feel that Dr. Nguyen Li's body is as if he is sick, and it is not a disease that can be cured on its own according to common sense. Although Dr. Nguyen Li was quiet on the surface, she did not shy away from the remarks that "she has been eroded by Claudia white", and even injected herself with drugs in front of me. However, whether or not her condition was "the erosion of Claudia White" or some other reason, her body gave me a sense of deterioration in the observation of the chain judgment.

It's like the condition is getting worse, worsening, and even seems to be predictable.

Yes, I think if I let it go any longer, Dr. Nguyen Le will die. This premonition of death is so strong. When she made the decision to return to a psychiatric hospital, this premonition of death made my heart heavy and breathless. Dr. Nguyen Lê's words and deeds are like those who have the belief that they will die, and decide to carry out a certain mission before they die, or in other words, with the awareness that they must die.

But. How could I stop her? What reason and position do I have to stop her? I can't alleviate her pain, I can't change her situation, I can't heal her injuries, this repeater world means nothing to her and to me. It's not a matter of the angle of view, it's a very different weight in the mind. Everything in this world is unique to her, as heavy as the apocalyptic illusion weighed on me before I went to the reality of the hospital. And even if you know the reality of the hospital. It may seem weakened, but it still reigns supreme over any observable world at some ghostly moment.

To this day, I still think of the people and events in the apocalyptic fantasy of the past, and feel painful and hesitant about them. Everything that has completely disappeared will whisper in the corner of my mind, in my dreams. The thought that I am the only one who can attest to the existence of that world today makes me feel a suffocating sadness. And the only thing that can dispel this sadness and pain. There is only the battle and the "river", and everything in the new apocalyptic fantasy that seems familiar, with the same name and surname, and is full of a sense of déjà vu, is more often just to uncover the bloody scars.

What the past apocalyptic visions mean to me. Just like the meaning of this repeater world to Dr. Nguyen Le in front of him. We are similar, so I understand her, and because I understand her, I can't stop her. I already smelled the ominous smell and heard the footsteps of death. Dr. Nguyen Li's pain, grief, loss, struggle, determination and resistance, etc., made me see my past self.

However, Dr. Nguyen Le is not Gao Chuan, and when she dies, she cannot be reborn. She also doesn't have multiple personalities, and her death in this repeater world must also imply that Dr. Ruan Li in the hospital has a misfortune. I don't have much evidence, but I trust my instincts and the relevance of this reconstructed apocalyptic fantasy to the reality of the hospital.

And I can only watch it happen. In the face of this ominous fate that I had already felt, even if I had obtained the power of the fourth-level magic pattern, I still felt that I was so small.

I asked myself, what can I do for Dr. Nguyen Li? Is there really nothing I can do to save her? In the past, there was always an ambiguous answer to these questions, and there was always a retreat, a possibility of success, even if the retreat was tortuous and dangerous, even if the possibility was low. However, now in the face of the same problem, my thinking and intuition do not give any way out, and there is no ambiguity possibility.

From now on, any decision made by Dr. Nguyen Le is based on an unchangeable fate - she is going to die.

The pain in my heart is unknown, and I don't want Dr. Nguyen Le to see my pain, my weakness, all my human vulnerability, because, I think, it will only increase Dr. Nguyen Li's burden and pain. I pretended to be calm, buried all my thoughts deep in thinking about the plan, turned myself into a cold person, and insisted on using her last strength and struggle as a bargaining chip. If I feel that I am ugly, inferior, inhuman, and taken for granted, if others think that I am such a person, then it can make me feel forgiven.

And yet, just as I already knew myself in the apocalyptic visions of the past. When I see those touching and tearful storylines, I will put on a cold posture, close my heart, and contain all those actions that seem to expose my vulnerability. I watched the cries of others coldly, using various reasons to describe the bloody nature of the storyline, ignoring the warm and human nature that the story itself was trying to express. Just because, I don't want to cry.

Even now, I still don't want to cry, or rather, I don't want to be an unreliable, emaciated, mentally fragile child in Dr. Nguyen Li's last life.

I rushed towards the psychiatric hospital with Dr. Nguyen Lê, and I felt like a piece of burning iron in my heart, my throat, my face and tear glands. All the soft water and blood evaporated in an instant, leaving only the dried and withered nerves.

I am so painful, so sad. However, in the face of this pain and sorrow, there is a force that supports this dry body and spirit.

Dr. Nguyen Li's calm expression was as if nothing had happened. I don't know what she thinks, what emotions rise and fall in her heart. But I just want to let her complete the battle she chooses on her own terms.

I went over the fence and through the barbed wire. Along the way, strange things changed from the trees, something that looked like a beast but was not a beast, rushing towards us, and in the rain and ashes, as if there was a hallucination and something that could not explain its condition. They are scary. It is frightening, when it is a hallucination, it will be torn apart by them, and when it feels danger and rushes to dodge, they are like a cloud of green smoke, a mirage, and it all disappears before it can be touched.

The data of the peninsula and the peninsula overlap, and the reshaped peninsula is unfamiliar. is a precarious, precipice-looking place. Even if you step on the air, you can feel the invisible flat ground, the seemingly flat ground, maybe as soon as you step down, you will step into the empty place, straight to the bottom of the abyss. It looks like a hole underground, but no one knows what really exists in the dark depths. It's a cavern, it's magma, it's nothing, it's just a dark that swallows everything.

I covered Dr. Nguyen Li's eyes, I didn't want her to see these mysteries full of malice. Since she thinks. All the mysteries are the result of the erosion of white Claudia, so the more mysteries she sees, the more she will think that she is terminally ill. For me, mystery is something I am used to, but for Dr. Nguyen Li, it is just a mistake, a poison. Perhaps for others, letting Dr. Nguyen Li witness the mystery is a kind of "therapy", a process that allows her to understand the nature of the world, but I know that this is not what she really wants to see.

The reason why I know this is because mystery is no longer what I want. In the past, I used to fantasize about a mysterious existence, but now that it is a matter of course, I no longer have the joy I had when I first encountered it. Because, I have seen too many tragedies caused by mystery. Mystery can lead to miracles, and I must seek them now, but that doesn't mean I'm still complacent about the existence of mystery and think it must be something unique and good.

Mystery is not good, nor is it bad, in the second half of my life, all the joy and sorrow, luck and misfortune, are brought about by mystery, I have said to others countless times, all this is not what I want, on the contrary, I did gain a lot in the process, but also lost a lot, for me, this is my life as Gao Chuan. However, I also thought that if there was no mystery, if I hadn't been involved in the toilet talk at the beginning, and everything else hadn't happened after that, would that kind of world, that kind of me, be happier than it is now?

I know it's silly to think so, and I can't get an answer, but I can't help but think about it.

As I thought, I used the fourth-level magic pattern to condense the aftermath of the data hedge I had absorbed into a jagged broadsword, swinging it under the blood moon, slashing through all the freaks that came at me like crazy, whether they were real or illusory, and then swept through the cracks that had been cut open. The monster handed me its claws, and I cut off their heads, and if they didn't have heads, cut off their bodies, piercing their seemingly vital parts. If they weren't gone, I would disappear between them, leaving them far behind with a swift speed.

I climbed over cliffs, stepped over puddles, and jumped from the ground where I had stepped into the air. When the Blood Moon was fully clear, he stepped into a cluster of buildings scattered around the asylum. I don't know what this complex is for, but the walls are so filthy and decadent, covered with graffiti and foul language. There are also neurotic voices that occasionally appear in the ears, but you can look for them, and you can't see anyone's presence or feel anyone's movements. It's also a dead silence here, but under this dead silence, there is something vaguely invisible ready to move, and its gloom is enough to make people feel like retreating.

"Have you arrived?" Dr. Nguyen Le asked, just as I was about to put her off my back.

"Here we are." I took off her mask. Dr. Nguyen Li's calm expression did not make out what her attitude was towards my actions, but perhaps she had stopped paying attention to these trivial requests. She didn't even look at the serrated broadsword in my hand, but from the fluctuations in her eyes, I knew very well that she could see this weapon that had been created with temporary data to hedge against the aftermath.

Dr. Nguyen Le observed the shape of the buildings and said to me, "Not here. When we might be able to find the map here. Workshop materials are not backed up at headquarters, but there is no better understanding of the style of the seminar than I do. I have a feeling that as long as I have a plan of a mental hospital, I know where the information is hidden. ”

"Got a clue?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No, it's intuition." Dr. Nguyen Le said.

However, there was a strong feeling that prompted me to raise our heads with Dr. Nguyen Li and look up at the place where the blood moon had appeared. A hazy figure was like a moon shadow, like a thin cloud, just in front of the blood moon, and it seemed to jump out of the blood moon and slowly fall towards the ground. It was so unhurried, but not slow, that in just a few breaths, a clearer outline could already be seen - it was like an upright beast, slender in physique, but not fragile, but indescribably oppressive.

When it appears, it seems to have a kind of magic that prompts people's eyes to turn to it, and like a black hole, through these gazes, it absorbs people's inner emotions.

"What's that?" Dr. Nguyen Le asked.

"Luna." I say.

"I see." Dr. Ruan Li suddenly smiled, "In the past, I didn't know what kind of thoughts and feelings you had in mind to write that fantasy adventure story like a mental patient's whispering, but I think now I finally understand a little bit." It's really, extremely abnormal, very painful, but full of charm and hard to get out of. Now, Achuan, do you like your own story? ”

“…… I don't know. I was silent for a moment, then replied, "Maybe I used to like it very, very much." ”

"And now?"

"I hope there will be an ending, a good ending."

Dr. Nguyen Li smiled again, stroked my head, didn't say anything more, turned around and walked into the building. (To be continued......)