Towers. The tallest tower in my memory comes from the reality of the hospital, which is not strictly speaking, a tower in the normal sense, and it is completely different from the tower-shaped structures left over from history, and it was not built for some religious significance. Actually, I don't know very well what the meaning of the tower in the hospital is to the "hospital" itself, what I understand is only some negative functions, such as some forbidden human body realities, etc., but I know that that is by no means the only meaning of the tower. I used to think that Dorothy couldn't bear the life of the hospital and hid in that tower, or that the hospital held her in the tower for research. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

Now I have the vague impression that Dorothy wasn't in that tower.

The world doesn't need them to sow a virus to threaten some people or some organization, because the virus already exists all over the world.

Perhaps it was precisely because of this understanding that "Takakawa" resolutely became a test subject and cooperated with the research of the "hospital" in order to obtain results as soon as possible. At the same time, in exchange for the treatment of Sakuya and Hakkei and others in the hospital - not just care, there is also such a clause in the contract, once Sakiya and Hakkei and others become ill, in the case of limited resources, the hospital must focus more on Sakuya and Hakkei and others.

It seems to me that the hospital has indeed been keeping its promises. If not. Sakiya and Hakkei and the others must have turned into a puddle of LCL just like other patients. Even "Takakawa" will collapse at the end of the real yàn. I don't think that the particularity of Sakiya, Hakkei, Marceau, Ishi, and Dorothy can surpass all patients.

Indeed, the collapse of Sakiya, Hakkei, and Marceau's personalities, and the transformation of Shiki and Dorothy into inhuman are all painful experiences. However, there are more possibilities than other patients. Without the hospital's commitment and investment, they would probably end up no different than ordinary patients with doomsday syndrome.

There is a silver lining to this. The glimmer of hope that is about to collapse, the glimmer of hope that has been distorted, is exactly what "Gao Chuan" bought at his own expense. If Dorothy is full of resentment towards such a life, then I think that part of this resentment is something that "Takakawa" himself must bear, that is, I must bear.

They are in pain. It may be better to live than to die. Sakiya, Hakkei, and Marceau may not even be able to think about what life and death, pain and happiness are.

But they're all alive. Even if it is not in the way of normal human beings, from another point of view, it is closer to the concept of "alive" than LCL patients.

Therefore, I don't hate the hospital, I just lament myself. It's not their fault that hospitals can't do anything about the "virus". If, after conquering the "virus", they can cure the apocalyptic syndrome, and then because of their selfish desires, they will amplify the calamity of the "virus" and make the patients suffer. Of course, I am entitled to stand on the moral high ground to condemn them and sanction them, but this is not the case.

The hospital is helpless against the "virus", and can only find out what the "virus" is through constant realization, various ways, and unscrupulous realization. This is only the first step in dealing with the "virus", and this first step has already been frustrated, and until I die, there has not been much progress in Ade.

Even during the period when "Takakawa" became a real body, the drugs that were researched according to the clinical numbers of "Takakawa" could not achieve the desired effect, but were full of side effects. Even so, these drugs are still an important factor in keeping the likes of Sakiya and Hakkei from completely collapsing. When "Takakawa" first cooperated with the hospital's research as a real yàn, it was Sakiya, Hakkei, Marceau, Tiese, and Dorothy at the most critical moment of their condition, if it weren't for the desperate efforts of "Takakawa" and the hospital to research a drug in a short period of time and give them priority to injection, they would probably collapse at that time - whether they turned into LCL or spontaneously combusted and died, it is impossible to be sure at all.

The tragic lives of the five girls after that began with that helpless pharmaceutical.

With a good prayer and the helplessness of time short, "Takakawa" let them survive in an abnormal manner. It is precisely because they survived that their abnormality was highly valued by the hospital in a certain way, and then evolved into the current situation in the following time.

These "pasts" are documented in the volume "Death Between the Interacts" in my diary. And when I look back on this episode again, I only feel the trick of fate, and there is no resentment.

As a "Takakawa", who can I resent in such a story?

If you cast the foundation of error, you will not exist in the first place. The "virus" was not created by human beings, nor was it sown by human beings, it just appeared and existed.

If "Gao Chuan" boycotts the hospital, if the hospital does not adopt a radical attitude and refuses to keep the agreement with "Gao Chuan", it will not even be able to manufacture those drugs with strong side effects, and it will be completely helpless against the "virus". Not to mention that there will be no zài super color center, and even Sakiya and Hachijing will die completely, and there will not even be a chance to appear in the apocalyptic fantasy.

This is not a free and right choice, nor is it a distinction between happiness and pain.

The choice left to us is simply: to live in pain or to die in pain, which one is more acceptable.

"Gao Chuan" may never have thought that the choice would be like this, and even when he made the decision at that time, he did not think about it from this perspective at all.

"Takakawa" just watched Sakuya and Hakkei die in agony due to the onset of illness. So I made up my mind to cooperate with the hospital. And before that, he had also made an agreement with the dead "Mae" that he must save everyone. So, for "Takakawa", who was just a child at the time, there was no more, better. More correct choice.

Then, all survived painfully.

The option of happiness and peace does not exist, so which is more acceptable, to die painfully or to live painfully?

I still haven't given up hope, so I don't think Takakawa made the wrong choice. Even if I live in pain, I hope that I can live by myself and others. Only by staying alive can we seize hope. Even if this hope is like a mirror, as long as you live, there are theoretically more possibilities.

Just for the sake of "possibility", and choose to live painfully. And let everyone survive in pain, regardless of their thoughts. This is the sin of "Takakawa". This is what I am as Takagawa. It's been thoroughly understood. Even so, I have no regrets. No resentment, no feeling like it's wrong.

I think that as long as it is "Takakawa", he will definitely be willing to bear this "sin".

I stood in front of the tower in a nightmare. A huge sense of oppression spreads violently from the visual sensation created by the shape of the tower. Makes me almost suffocate. When standing in the distance and looking at it, the body of the tower is hazy, and its towering posture and huge sense of existence are just like the coordinates, which makes people yearn. However, when you actually get close to this distance, you can see what it looks like. Memories that were almost buried because of death emerged from the mud as if they had been washed away by a flood.

This tower, excluding its unusual smell and appearance, is almost a replica of the real tower in the hospital. It may be different on the inside, but it's hard to find the difference on the outside. The moment I saw it, I couldn't help but get goosebumps on my skin, and the electricity ran down my spine through the nerves in my brain. It towered before my eyes, and behind it was a pale, large, pale sphere on the horizon of the end of the world, like a bridge between two worlds.

"How is that possible?" I couldn't help but moan. My mind was racing with all sorts of assumptions, each trying to combine the reality of the hospital with this nightmare world, and at the same time, I felt that I shouldn't just jump to conclusions. The immediate sense of sight in front of you may also be just a projection on the level of consciousness.

According to the "real side" theory, it is of course possible that the tower of this nightmare world may be what it looks like in front of my eyes. There are many reasons to find rationally, but it is difficult to stop the emotional impact.

I shook my head vigorously and threw the distractions out of my mind. I know that no matter why this tower is like this, why it is so striking, what its significance is to this nightmare, and what suggestive meaning it has compared to the Las Vegas Repeater world, or even the reality of the apocalyptic illusion and the hospital, it is not possible to find out the truth at this stage. Even in this life, I probably can't really understand its meaning.

Human beings have never figured out what kind of consciousness their consciousness is.

I, too, have read a lot of books on psychology and the occult texts on consciousness, but I have never thoroughly, completely, penetrated into every subtle process to understand the state of consciousness.

I know that I can only treat it as a "fait accompli" and "existing existence" with such an attitude.

If I think about it and try to come to an accurate conclusion, I will feel more and more foolish.

I dodged out, skimming around every weird blind spot in my path. These strange people in front of the tower are like a qiē guarding the tower. I don't know if it's conscious or unconscious, their position divides into patches, going back and forth in their own area, and will never invade other weird areas, but if one of them is alarmed, it will cause multiple strange riots like a chain.

On my way here, I have encountered many such situations.

Even though I wouldn't lose to a weird riot, I also didn't want to waste too much time and energy on this kind of thing. Even though my plans are always going to run into problems and have to improvise, and I don't have a fixed and visible time limit that can be seen at a glance, it doesn't mean that my time is infinite. At the time of my action. Others are also taking action, and it's not a question of who is faster, but if I'm not prepared for some kind of big impact when the parties are planning to do it, I can't use that influence to advance my own plans.

Right now. I went to this tower to gather enough information to intervene in the right and timely changes that are taking place and about to happen. I don't have much time left to prepare, and I don't know when I'll be out of this nightmare.

The mechanism of getting in and out of the nightmare itself is not clear, although roughly. I interpret this to mean that all the patients in the Peninsula Psychiatric Hospital who have taken the new drug will be involved in this nightmare and become sacrifices to the "deepest night", but it is not up to me to decide how the actual situation will change.

The production of the new drug is entirely dominated by seminars and influenced by occult organizations such as NOG, Shinrikyo of Doom, and Area 51. I don't think so. Their influence on Dr. Nguyen Le can go beyond their use of the seminars. In theory. If the only way to get into this nightmare is to take medication, then it is possible to keep me out of it. Of course, if the other party can really isolate me from their plan in a similar way, I have my own way of coping.

But either way. I don't have more time than these organizations that can always be with the activities of the nightmare. The preparation time and effort, as well as the resources and energy available to me, I am absolutely inferior to these huge organizations. Therefore. I never thought that my passivity could be reversed in the early stages.

It's never easy to be passive and victorious.

I stabbed my long knife into the weird vest, shielding its relatively large body and strangling its neck before it could scream. The weirdness of the humanoid form often has the key to humanoidism, compared to the weirdness of the non-human form, which is more difficult to deal with. The weirdos don't have a good relationship with each other, they don't cooperate, and the previous riots against me weren't trying to kill me together, although they came together, they were just fighting on their own.

In the battle with these weirdos, I gradually understood the reason why the weird was so powerful, but it could be hunted by old Hawke. More often than not, they are just scattered sand, seemingly diverse, but they follow a very obvious pattern in battle. They're not brainless, it's just that most of the time they're just muddy. It is completely achievable to design a counterattack routine for a certain weirdness, and then expand this routine to other weirdos similar to it.

Assuming that the weird is also a patient, or that it is a manifestation of a disease, a certain effect of the new drug, and the influence of the patient's consciousness, then their appearance naturally represents the "negative" and "malignant" side of the patient. In this way, it is easy to think of the "strong because of the fall" side, but the so-called "negative" and "vicious" are not the same as "powerful".

People, because of the health of the soul and **, will appear strong. The so-called "negative" and "malignant" are the embodiment of the "unhealthy" of the soul and **, and the "powerful" it shows for a while is actually more like a "dying struggle" - because of "unhealthy", it is about to perish, so I do my best to give everything I can.

This unhealthy strength is flawed and limited. Compared with the strength of health, this unhealthy power seems to be full of explosive power, but it is actually more fragile.

This is also the reason why in the apocalyptic fantasy, in the face of so many mysterious powers and people with extraordinary powers, I never felt envy and joy, but felt sadness and pain.

The "mystery" I see and the power that exists because of the "mysterious" are, in my understanding, just proof of "unhealthy". Whether it is oneself or others, it seems to be powerful, but from the perspective of the reality of the hospital, they are just a group of patients with doomsday syndrome at the end of the disease, who have either become LCL or are about to become LCL, and even, they don't even have the opportunity to become LCL, they go crazy directly, hurt others, and have to be executed, or die.

If it is because of one's own health that it is because of one's own health, then of course it is good, but on the contrary, it is just a desperate situation, and life is helpless, so why is it not sad?

What unfolded before me was these ugly, weird, diverse, rigid, crazy and indifferent weirdness, which seemed to me that even a living "patient" was only living in pain.

To die painfully or to live painfully, which one should you choose?

"Takakawa" made a decision for Sakuya and Hakkei. As Gao Chuan, I have never hesitated to face the choice in front of me.

Because, I want to save them, but I can't. So, it doesn't matter if it's "them" or "them" what's weird in front of you. If they stand in my way, I will kill them.

Using chain decisions to analyze their position and orientation, and judging their possible abilities based on their appearance, all kinds of information outlined a route in my mind.

Then, the quick sweep is executed.

I try to use my weird body and surroundings as cover as much as possible to cover up my activities. I don't know who built the tower, or rather, it wasn't built by any side, but it was a natural formation. But such an iconic and extremely strong sense of existence is impossible for any organization or individual to ignore in the nightmare. There are a lot of people who have been active in nightmares earlier than me, and I don't feel like I'm the first to get close to this place and try to get something out of here.

On the other hand, whether the tower is man-made or naturally formed, it is very likely that it will be occupied by a certain force and become the basis for the execution of a certain conspiracy plan, thus increasing the importance of this tower. Such a place, more likely, carries a deep sense of malice and repulsion towards any intruder who tries to get closer.

There's an 80% chance that the tower will snipe me. If you expose yourself in the first place, the probability of being blocked out is as high as 60%. I don't deny that I'm strong, but in this nightmare, my abilities are blocked on a certain course. Even if this blockade was well-intentioned from the point of view of Old Hawke, or from the point of view of the organization that created this nightmare, it was natural and necessary, and I would not be able to fully exploit the strength of my heyday.

This kind of seal is not ordinary, it is a vague concept, and it is not a complete containment of one's own ability, but when you use these abilities, you will perceive that the original handy and infinitely powerful ability is no longer so handy and infinitely powerful. Even if the characteristics do not change, when they are actually used, there will be a huge sense of disobedience.

The sense of disobedience, the sense of incongruity, the feeling of being blocked, these feelings are not only the result of "sealing", but also make me feel that it is the power of "sealing".

It is difficult to distinguish whether it is sealed, so there is a sense of disobedience, or because it is "creating a sense of disobedience to reduce the effect of practical application", which is the seal itself.

I still feel powerful, but if I describe this power as "inventory", then my situation at this time is roughly like losing the key to open this "inventory". It is clear that there is zài, but it cannot be used.

I suppose, though the seal was made by Old Hawke. But is it possible, not just for me, but for all the occult forces and occultists who have entered this nightmare? In others, though not triggered by Old Hawke, this seal will also be done in other wonderful ways?

From a certain point of view, if the supreme power of all people is limited, of course, the more organized, and the larger the organization, the easier it is to gain an advantage. Advancing the sacrificial ritual depends only on the lower limit of strength, so it is enough to meet the lower limit, but instead, the upper limit needs to be blocked to prevent the ritual from being stopped by too strong a force.

These thoughts are stored in my thinking. And this idea is also one of the reasons why I didn't hesitate to kill the weird. After all, absorbing the gray stone that condenses after the death of the monster can weaken the seal—even if it is possible, it is actually indirectly promoting the sacrificial ritual and the arrival of the deepest night. (To be continued......)