After the store was closed, I didn't have the idea of developing in Haikou, after all, Haikou is only an island city, and many policies can't come here, so I feel that there is no future here. I played at my second uncle's house for a week, and it was New Year's Day. I said to my second uncle, "Uncle, I want to go to Xiamen." The second uncle said, "It's okay, go on a trip and have fun for a few days, and bring your niece with you." I shook my head and said, "No, I want to go to Xiamen to find a job and develop there." The second uncle immediately raised his voice and said, "You just find a job in Haikou, so I know someone here, and his daughter is not married yet, so I will introduce you when the time comes." I smiled and said, "No, I've made up my mind, and I've bought all my tickets." That's it. "Actually, I haven't bought a ticket yet, but I don't want to do things in Haikou, and I'm embarrassed to eat and drink all the time at my second uncle's place to help take care of the children. The second uncle said that he couldn't control me, so let me go. Packed up and went to Haikou Airport.

I didn't think about where I was going at all, there was always a place for me to stay in the world, think about it slowly, and buy a ticket when I think of it. Actually, I wanted to go to a place where no one knew and start from scratch. I took out my phone and searched for second-tier cities. After a few hours, after my analysis, I felt that the cities I could go to were CD, Nanchang, Xi'an, and of course, Xiamen was also on my mind. This is the phone ringing, and the name of the caller ID is Duan Jianming. All the people in my phone's address book are names, no nicknames, no titles. Except for my grandfather who wrote about my grandfather, and my mother who wrote about my mother. My dad's name is also written. Oh my god, what did my dad call for. Could it be that I haven't been in touch with my dad for a long time, I miss me, it doesn't exist, usually I call my dad to ask for money, and my intuition tells me that it must be no good for him to call me. I wanted to hang it directly, but I still got through.

"Hey, Dad, what's the matter?"

"You cub and Lao Tzu are very fat!"

"What's the matter, after graduation, be honest outside. I didn't make a mistake. ”

"You have the face to tell Lao Tzu that you graduated, and your teacher called Lao Tzu and said that you didn't go to the graduation defense on a dog day, and you didn't ask for your graduation certificate. Is there such a thing? ”

"It's not a thing, I have a graduation certificate, I'll send you a photo in two days, don't listen to people's nonsense." I'm thinking about finding someone to get a certificate to show him when the time comes.

"You still lied to Lao Tzu, the teacher made it clear to Lao Tzu, your student status was obtained in the Education Department, and there is a fart graduation certificate, you said that Lao Tzu spent so much money to give you college, it's not all a waste."

"Dad, don't be angry! I didn't go to college in vain, I felt that I had to be capable, and my diploma was useless. ”

", don't talk this kind of to Lao Tzu, you have a JB ability. Sooner or later, you're going to die outside, you're a waste, and you're capable. Lao Tzu doesn't have a son like you. ”

"Death is death, and you don't care." With that, I hung up the phone angrily.

Later, the more I thought about it, the more sad I became, and after graduation, no, it had been half a year since I left school, and the things I experienced were also ups and downs. The bitterness in my heart is hidden in my heart, and I have never told anyone about it. Originally, my career was not going well, my father, my biological father still said that I was a waste. Tears unconsciously remained. After crying for a while, I finally managed to control my emotions. I called my grandfather again.

After the phone was connected: "Hey, Yangyang, what's the matter with you, your second uncle called me just now and said that you were going to Xiamen." ”

"Yes, I want to go to Xiamen to develop alone, and I just had a fight with my dad"

"I said child, what kind of quarrel are you arguing with your father, he has a bad temper, and he is also your own son."

"It doesn't matter who he is, he can't say I'm a waste." Although he said this loudly, he was obviously crying, and he couldn't control it all of a sudden, and he cried out again.

My grandfather is old, and he always turns on the speaker when he answers the phone. On the other end of the phone, I heard my grandmother's voice: "Child, don't cry, I'm sad to hear you cry." Grandma also cried and said, "Which doesn't want your children to go outside, be obedient and take care of yourself outside, don't say how much money you make, it's good to be safe." ”

Hearing my grandmother crying, I didn't want to say anything perfunctory: "The plane is coming soon, I'll hang up first." ”

Actually, I really didn't think about where to go, and now I am determined to go to Xiamen. So I bought a plane ticket from Haikou to Xiamen in the evening. This is the pain in my heart, and I really want to find someone to talk about the hardships in my heart. But when I opened WeChat, I really couldn't find the right person to tell. I'm always that strong and optimistic in front of my friends, and that's all pretending. I wanted to tell my ex-girlfriend and was embarrassed, so I edited a circle of friends, just wanting him to see it alone.

Circle of friends: When I stepped on the platform again, I really walked alone from then on, what kind of suffering, I can only hide it in my heart, I can find a place where no one is crying, I don't need to worry about who is watching me, I don't need to worry about who I will make sad. You can find a stranger to cry to, and you can imagine what tomorrow will be like in a strange place.

I cried at the airport for a long time today, remember this day, this is my memory, since I heard that men have tears and don't flick, today is really uncontrollable, can't help it. The moment the tears remained, I had already made up my mind that I was going to prove to someone that I was not a waste. When my grandparents called me, I couldn't hold back my tears. On the other end of the line, I heard my grandmother's crying. I couldn't hold back my suppressed emotions anymore and cried even harder. Grandpa told me not to cry, he said that he was distressed, what could I do, I could only comfort me with crying and said that there was no need to worry about me. I'm such a big person, I won't put myself in any danger.

I've cried many times today, and now I can't help but cry. It's not a sin for a man to cry, he's always pretending to be strong, and his smile is written on his face, but who sees a crying face under the skin. I used to think that laughing and crying expression was funny. Today, when I vented my emotions and cried, I realized that laughing and crying is really just pretending to be strong.

I never cared about everything around me, but when I did, I took it more seriously than anyone else. Some people say that I follow the strong, and indeed when I decide something, I never regret it, and no one can persuade me to come back.

In fact, all I need is tolerance, and it doesn't matter if I understand me or not. Because there are some things that I don't say, and you don't ask. I won't explain, and you don't have to ask deeply. Right and wrong are judged by time, not by someone who has come before.

After setting the permissions, only Li Wenting could see it, but in the end, it was still not sent. I was sorry for her at the time, and now I don't want her to know that I'm having a bad day.