I looked at her serious look in amazement, and wanted to ask something, but my mind didn't turn a corner.

Jiang He didn't say anything more, and naturally took my arm and held my hand tightly. Jiang He's hands are very soft, but her fingers are very strong, she has practiced the violin since she was a child, and her fingers are strong, I think if I blindfolded and touched my hands to recognize people like in variety shows, I should be able to find her easily.

"How tall are you now?" Jiang He tilted his head to look at me, when I was a child, I was not as tall as her, most of the time I was so much different, and occasionally I caught up with a flat head, so she often compared my height.

"One meter eighty-one, you have one meter seven? With such a big temper and such a strong desire to dominate and grow so tall, it is said that the most popular girl in the country cannot be more than one meter six, and one meter seven is considered an ugly girl, you may not find a boyfriend, right? ”

Jiang He pinched me hard.

Jiang He stood in the living room and swept his eyes around, and said, "I didn't pay attention to it just now, this set is much bigger than the other side, and you live alone in space." ”

I nodded: "I'm at home now, this is my world, I haven't gone out to work since my father died, and I earn some living expenses by renting out the family house." Sometimes I feel like I'm not an otaku anymore, I'm a prison man. ”

Jiang He smiled: "Don't you think it's very moisturizing?" ”

"I'm an aspiring young man in my bones."

I asked Jiang He to sit casually, turned around and boiled water to make tea. Since I started taking medicine, I have developed a habit of drinking tea. When I wake up in the morning, the anti-anxiety drug of the previous night has not completely dissipated, and it is very uncomfortable, and I will be groggy all the time if I don't drink tea. Although the antidepressants you take in the morning can help boost your spirits, they can't take effect immediately, and the excitement is slowly forced, and it will be very unnatural to consume a lot of physical strength in the fight against malaise, and you can even feel the withdrawal of strength, so it is better to drink some tea first.

I chose the fragrant rock tea Da Hong Pao, and I think this style is more compatible with Jiang He. Of course, it is more appropriate to drink Longjing, but it can be brewed in a large cup, which is less fun to slowly recuperate.

Jiang He stopped by the piano, lifted the lid, played a melody casually, and turned his head to look at me: "Your piano seems to have been played by no one for a long time." ”

Xiamen is known as the music island, and the overall music literacy is relatively high. Especially in Gulangyu, because of the early Westernization, the conditions of the island's residents are relatively good, and there have been several nationally renowned pianists. When we were in Xinjiang, my mother forced me to learn piano in order to show this regional identity. Another reason is that Jiang He has practiced violin since he was a child, and his talent is good, and the comparison between his mothers is also very terrifying. Later, when I returned to Xiamen, my mother was shocked to find that my original enlightenment teacher was playing copycat techniques, so she ruthlessly asked me to make up for the class. In the past few years, I have really suffered a lot of beatings. I once complained, I love to compare with others so much, I should learn from Dongbula in Xinjiang, and there must be few people in Xiamen who can. And learning the piano has a fart, can I carry it up the street by begging for food?

Now the piano stands lonely in the living room, like an abandoned woman, and no one has touched it for years. The maintenance is not bad, but it has not been tuned for several years, and the pitch of individual keys is inevitably a little off. Its biggest contribution to me at the moment is that every time I see it, I feel that my depression is not as vulgar as others, and I am a patient with style.

I said, "Come and have tea." ”

"Let's play a song first."

"Don't you have something to say, you have to play the piano and dance first? Don't follow the Indians. ”

Jiang He smiled: "Play it, I haven't heard you play for a long time." After thinking of you for so many years, the most is the way you play the piano, and then I gradually understood that this is the only quiet appearance you have in my memory. ”

"Playing the piano to make noise, how can it be quiet, the way I write my homework is the most connotative, and my mother likes it the most."

I was used to following her wishes since I was a child, so I sat on the piano bench with her, and Jiang He patted me on the shoulder to learn my mother's tone: "Only by paying can we grow!" "Her body smell was so sweet that I almost put my nose together.

I reluctantly played a Serenade of Schubert, and Jiang He said, "It's okay overall, but two things are wrong." ”

I got up and sat on the living room couch, sweating from a simple song, and turned on the air conditioner. Jiang He also sat down on the short sofa next to him. I motioned for her tea.

She took a sip of tea and then asked me, "You don't know about your regular treatment building, right?" ”

I looked at her in a daze, and instinctively shook my head, wondering if she was talking about my depression, I casually said that I was sick, but I didn't say that I had a disease that needed to be treated.

Jiang He continued: "I came here for your illness this time, and I don't know where to start for a while when I see you in a daze, and I was thinking about how to speak all the way just now." I wondered if I should first assure you that the disease could be cured, and then talk slowly. ”

I looked at her in amazement, my brain struggling to make sense of her. After my father died, no other relatives should know about me taking medicine for depression, and we didn't even tell my mother, how did Jiang He know about it when he first arrived? I also know that a person's appearance will change after taking psychotropic drugs for a long time, the facial muscles will be more stiff, and the eyes will be dull, which is the so-called drug stiffness, which can be seen by experienced and knowledgeable medical professionals. Jiang He has the ability to see his face and recognize diseases? I didn't believe that, and what she said made me feel like something else.

I shook my head: "What are you talking about?" I don't understand what you mean, you better just say it, you can't scare me to death. ”

I had always wondered if taking those drugs would damage my brain, cause me to become sluggish and numb in my thinking, and even weaken my ability to judge. Jiang He said that I was confused, that must be that I was really confused.

"Regarding your illness, Daddy Lou has always insisted on depression? Didn't mention any other possibilities? ”

"What does this other possibility mean? It has always been based on the doctor's diagnosis, and I checked the information myself, and it feels similar. ”

Jiang He shook his head: "I don't understand why Daddy Lou has been hiding it from you, why didn't he expect that if he had an accident and the situation has developed to this point, his stubbornness may harm you?" ”

I couldn't help but interrupt her: "What are you talking about? How do you know I'm treating depression? I don't think I told you, and besides, what did you say my father was hiding from me? ”

The look of regret in Jiang He's eyes increased again: "You haven't seen other doctors since you got sick?" I haven't asked Daddy Lou where I got Dr. Meng for you? ”

I nodded: "I haven't seen any other doctors, my father found out I was sick after something went wrong." You know that hospitals are now connected to the Internet with real names, and he said that he didn't want my medical records to leave messy content, which would have a bad impact on my life, so he helped me find Dr. Meng for private counseling and treatment. How did you know about Dr. Meng? I didn't mention Dr. Meng! ”

I still feel ashamed to talk about my illness, and I want to smile to hide my embarrassment, but instead the muscles in my face twitch unnaturally.

Jiang He moved over and sat next to me, looked at me and said, "That Dr. Meng was sent by my father to claim to treat depression to you, but in fact it is not at all. After you got sick, Daddy Lou asked my dad for help, and your illness is actually my father's team in charge now, which Daddy Lou obviously didn't explain to you. Six days ago, my mother finally decided to tell me about your current situation, so I hurriedly finished my affairs in Japan and rushed back, and flew directly from Tokyo to Xiamen, the day before yesterday. ”

"You just returned home the day before yesterday?" I asked, but Jiang He only nodded and continued her: "The cause and effect of this matter are very complicated, and I only found out that my previous guess was wrong after I came to the door yesterday, you don't know your condition, you know less about the development of the situation than I do, and you know almost nothing." Therefore, the top priority is to tell you what I know first, and then we will continue to investigate and deal with the problem together, which is also the main purpose of my return, and the truth is equally important to you and me. That's what I meant when I told you the story of the fallen people at the dinner, we can't be satisfied with what we already know, we need to improve our ability to ask questions, and then solve the hidden problems. ”

No matter how slow I was, I slowly understood what she meant, my father not only concealed the real illness from me, but also concealed a more complicated background than the illness itself, and the so-called treatment for depression was probably a cover to hide it from me alone, and I actually suffered from other diseases. Listening to Jiang He's meaning, this matter also has a lot to do with her, and it is hard for me to imagine under what circumstances my illness will involve Jiang He. Could it be that we are really related by blood, and I also have her genetic disease? But she had just denied the possibility of a sibling relationship, and I couldn't think of any other way to get involved.

At the beginning, my father and Jiang Feng fell out to that point, and the contradictions intensified to the point of forcing our two innocent children to die and never get along, and now I am sick but I go to beg others, it seems that I am going to be finished. Jiang Feng is not a doctor, at best, half a veterinarian engaged in animal husbandry research, what the hell is this?

Jiang He asked me, "Do you understand what I mean?" ”

I nodded: "I almost understand, my dad hid his illness from me, I'm not depressed, and asked your dad to be a veterinarian to treat me, and you flew back from Japan in a hurry." You say that this anthropologist and veterinarian work together, does it mean that I am not human? ”

"I'm serious."

"If I seriously say that I smell hospice care, am I about to hang up? If you have any questions, just say it, don't you know that depressed people are not afraid of death? ”

Jiang He didn't sympathize with my pretending to be relaxed, and directly lowered his face: "What kind of hospice care do you say?" What kind of nonsense to play! I didn't give you a reassuring pill at the beginning, this disease can be cured. Besides, you all know that it's not depression, and what do you say about depression, but you are not afraid of death, do you have brains? ”

"You just said so much, I can reasonably speculate about why it's wrong, I'm not afraid to care about illness, but it's terrible to care about more people, you can tell me what kind of disease I have."

Jiang He raised a hand and motioned for me to shut up: "As far as I know, there are few people who care about you, don't brag." If I knew what disease you had, I would have told you directly, so why bother going around in circles. Don't be in a hurry to be suspicious and nervous, your cause is the same as mine, but the symptoms are completely different, you are more in the mental aspect, while I am in the nervous aspect, although the disease can be cured, but the cause I know is definitely not the whole truth, this is also the main problem we need to investigate later. I'll give you a rough explanation of the whole thing now, otherwise I can't talk about it, and you can always ask any questions. Jiang He stopped talking nonsense and began to state straightforwardly: "The first person to find the problem was my mother." ”