Chapter 389 This book has been written for almost a year, and it has also experienced a lot of bitterness, being incomprehensible by his family, and being sarcastic by his side.

Even now, there are still people around you who are sneering at you, and I have wanted to give up the creation of this book several times, but whenever I have the idea of retreating, my mind is full of reluctance.

I can't let go of this book, I can't let go of the readers, and I'm even more sorry for those who are there for me to support me!

The summer of 16 years, is the time for my dream to set sail, I thought I would be plain and smooth sailing, but the reality is often not as easy as you think, during the period I went through twists and turns, and stopped writing for a while, it's not that I don't want to write, and I'm afraid, I'm a sensual person, I care about the opinions of everyone around me, but I can't satisfy all the people, this is also the direction I've been trying to work towards, I wrote this book myself and went crazy, Even when I dream at night, I dream that I can't escape from the labyrinthine tomb, and I can say without hesitation that I have had suicidal thoughts!

I stood on the top of the building at three o'clock in the middle of the night, counting one or two stars, and the position of the Big Dipper will always be there, eternal and unchanged!

I leaned on the guardrail, thinking to myself whether I would be killed when I fell from this top, but finally thought about it, I haven't become famous yet, wouldn't it be a pity to die like this, isn't there another talent missing in the world!

It could really be that God has the virtue of a good life, and I just looked up in the direction of the Big Dipper, and a meteor happened to pass them!

Although it was only less than a second, I was lucky to be captured, and I gave up the idea of suicide, after all, there are so many beautiful things in this world!

Therefore, I prefer to look at the stars in the middle of the night, when the stars are very shining, and I feel as if the stars are shining in my soul, and they will not disperse for a long time!

When the character of Shi Yan was created, I thought about it for a long time! But I'm not as rich as him, and I probably want to live that life subconsciously!

A college student who has graduated for a long time, guards a shop given to him by his uncles, entertains when there are guests, and waits to eat and die when there are no guests!

This is probably a portrayal of my life in the first 20 years, most of the time I was eating and waiting for death! Suddenly one day, a strange thing happened, I also because of this happened and inexplicably into a pit, and finally the pit got bigger and bigger, deeper and deeper, when I wanted to climb out, I found that someone was filling in with a spade of soil on it, which made me angry, and at the same time felt a trace of despair!

But Shi Yan is a hard bone who does not admit defeat, like me, he doesn't eat oil and salt, and he can't be ignored!

But it is this kind of character that makes him overcome obstacles along the way and explore the final truth! Actually, I haven't thought about Shi Yan's final result until now, maybe he will become more mature, or maybe, I will have a whim, write all the fat people to death, and then Shi Yan will live a life in loneliness!

I prefer the latter ending, because I didn't have many friends since I was very young, and the most I did as an autistic child when I was a child was to degrade myself like a clown to make others happy, in exchange for a sense of existence!

My parents divorced very early, and I didn't even meet my father, and I never heard anything about him from my family, so I didn't bother to ask after a long time!

Sometimes I'm afraid that people will point at my back and say, "You're a fatherless child," and in fact, someone has said that!

Although the young child is not sensible, but what he says is the most hurtful, I don't have the courage to fight with others, and there is no reason to go up and reason to reason with him, that time was my most cowardly time!

All I did was hold on to my bag and leave the place of right and wrong! Later, as I grew up, I found that no one around me cared about you, and no one cared about your past, and when you heard someone gossip about you, you could raise your fist and hit him in the face without hesitation!

Gradually, I began to become stronger, and I also understood what it means that people do not offend me, and I do not offend others!

People who know me tell me that I have a special skin, not the kind of joke skin, but the kind of unreasonable skin!

I don't know why I'm the way I am, but it's probably something that has to do with growing up!

After the age of twenty, that is, now! I felt as if I had found my way at some point, but I felt that the path was vague, and I never relaxed myself to live once, because I had too many worries in my heart, family, friends, lovers!

When there is a disagreement between these three parties, there is a disagreement in my whole person, as if it is not a very good thing to abandon either side no matter what, thinking about it, and thinking of the idea of suicide!

Although these words may sound very stupid, if you really experience the things, you will know how heavy these things are, like a ton or two of the burden on your body, you can't breathe at all, and even a sneeze can kill you at any time!

Many people have told me that they can't read my book, and they don't know what to write from beginning to end! I don't believe it, only ordinary people think so, and I read my book again with an attitude of disbelief, and sure enough!

What the is written, even I can't read it, even I can't believe that I typed it out word by word!

I finally understood why they said they couldn't understand it, and it was impossible to understand those interlocking words without experiencing them word by word.

So, I finally came to a conclusion that it wasn't my fault! Readers always read books with ten lines at a glance and a thousand lines at a glance!

And what I want to write you can never guess from the front to any clues behind, even if you guess a little clue, I will change what you think at the last minute, the reader knows what you want to write in the end, then there is no need to continue this book!

I'm a person who doesn't believe in evil, since you like to guess, I'll accompany you to guess to the end! You like this ending, I'm going to change it!

A really good book is just a contest between the author and the reader, and most of the books that attract attention capture the hearts of readers, and a small part directly conquer their hearts!

I still have to spend a lot of time walking this road, maybe three years and five years, maybe a lifetime!