34

If a man is mad,

Everything seems to be getting easier. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

You don't need to think carefully anymore, you don't have to tire your brain like a dog.

But there is a price to be paid for madness.

Zhong Xian has entered a half-drunk state, and it could have been a time when he was fluttering. Deng Yi's approach made his heart feel like a stone.

He admitted that he liked to chat with Deng Yi and listen to him mutter. But he didn't like to hear him talk about the case. Or just don't like to hear what part of himself he might suspect about.

He can even enjoy listening to him analyze himself deeply, say that he has personality or psychological problems, and these are fine.

Deng Yi is different from the people and things in his world. It seemed that there was muddy swamp all around, but Deng Yi was a clean stone next to him, and he could climb up to enjoy the clear night sky for a while.

That's how he feels.

Although they haven't known each other for long. Some feelings can arise in the first place.

It's absolutely pure feeling.

And not as he unintentionally guided.

Now it seems that he has completely steered this in another direction. So much so that Deng Yi looked at him with a very dangerous look, and that guy would look at him with very meaningful eyes.

Zhong Xian had a feeling that he was at a loss for words, even though he didn't defend a word. I felt a little disappointed in my heart. It was as if the swamp was about to swallow up the only clean stone. No one is immune.

“…… Do something?"

Zhong Xian placed the wine glass on the bedside table. I tried to stand up but found myself drunk more than I thought.

He rubbed his forehead,

He tried to get up again and leaned against the wall to go to the bathroom. He was afraid that Deng Yi would follow up, but fortunately that guy didn't.

Taking a bath is not to start, but to cool down. The longer it is used, the more it will cool the enthusiasm. Bell String did that. By the time he came out in a cotton bathrobe, Deng Yi was gone.

I don't know when that guy left. He didn't even hear the door open and close.

Zhong Xian stood in the empty hotel room for a long time, and the alcohol in his body did not make him feel like a fairy anymore. The feeling of loss is worse than the disappointment just now.

He drank the rest of the wine in the bottle in one go. Putting up with the possibility of throwing up, climb into bed, cover yourself with the quilt, wait to get drunk, and force yourself to sleep.

But now this bed is like any other bed in the world.

Same as the big, comfortable and beautiful bed in his apartment.

Beneath the soft mattress is a hard, restless thorn.

The thorn pierced every corner of his body.

If you do it all over again. Will he be desperate and give up everything like this again, just to pursue his goals?

But

There's no way to do it all over again.

His guitar had long since been shattered by him and thrown away like garbage. He stopped singing, let alone writing songs.

He had written and sung the last song to the old woman.

Against his will, he felt that he had done the most correct thing.

He got his first car, the BMW X5, with that song and his debut.

When he could buy another car with his own money, he threw the one-year-old luxury car into the used car market like garbage.

"Damn it!" He rolled over and got up, grabbed the pillow with one hand, and clenched his other hand into a fist to pound his chest. The quilt was over his head and he couldn't breathe.

Sleep sleep!

He heard a little noise, very faint.

He lifted the quilt from the top of his head. His gaze swept across the room, fixed on the window, where the curtains had been half-closed, now all open.

Deng Yi was sitting leisurely on the windowsill of the bay window, holding a glass of wine that was about to be drunk in his hand, and a pair of bright eyes that could not be blinded by the night and drunkenness, looking intently at the bell strings on the bed.

Deng Yi didn't leave.

Not to mention that Zhong Xian simply fell asleep during the long time he was in the bath.

Zhong Xian's mind was racing fast, and he was relieved to make sure that he didn't show anything wrong.

Deng Yi jumped down from the windowsill, still holding a wine glass in his right hand, he sat on the other side of the bed, holding the knee of his right leg and staring at the TV with his eyes staring at the TV, which had no volume, and was playing a legal program with text footnotes - the police used Skynet to arrest criminals.

Zhong Xian felt that his heart was settled, and the thorns retreated. That guy had that effect just a meter away from him.

The effect of the small half-bottle of wine that he had just drunk was evident at this moment, and he closed his eyes in a daze. He felt sleepy.

When he opened his eyes again, Deng Yi was no longer in sight. Empty cups, placed on the bedside table. There was a splash of water in the bathroom.

The TV shows the police taking a prisoner to the prison.

Zhong Cine closed his eyes.

It didn't take long for him to smell a faint aroma. surround him. Warm and peaceful.

"What's the reason for crying?" Deng Yi's voice was close to his ears.

"Mao? Who cried. Zhong Xian didn't open his eyes.

"It's true that there were no tears."

Zhong Xian took a deep breath. "We ...... How about chatting?"

"We're just chatting all the time."

The mattress shook, Deng Yi turned over and got on the bed, and should have gone to the other side of the bed.

"It's not that you don't like women?" Deng Yi's voice was not far away.

This guy! Zhong Xian cursed secretly in his heart. I regret what I just said.

"What, you have an idea? It seems that I molested the police investigating me. He simply said so.

Deng Yi smiled over there. "Is there anything else you wouldn't dare to do?"

"Not really." Zhong Xian said. "Just talk about something. Until I fall asleep, can I help out?"

"How often do you find someone to talk to you with?"

"Never. You're the first. Zhong Xian first found the topic: "Why are you a policeman?" Your temperament is not quite alike. ”

"You're not much of a profiteer, either." Deng Yi said. "But we're all here. Why don't you analyze why you just cried?"

"Mao? Which eye did you see? ”

"Do you believe in karma?"

"If there is a cause and effect. Isn't the island of Japan supposed to sink a long time ago?"

"The so-called cause and effect does not come from the outside world, but from the heart. In essence, you are good. Even if you want to make yourself bad, you have been lying to yourself and allowing yourself to do anything. But in the end, your good will backfire and punish yourself. This is karma. ”

"Saying so much, doesn't it mean 'conscience can't get by'."

"Almost."

"I didn't hurt anyone."

"Really?"

"Even if it is retribution, what is the standard of retribution? What's the retribution for not hurting others?"

"Oh, too. Then you cry ......"

"I just didn't feel good in my chest. You are such a mother-in-law, does your family know! ”

Deng Yi didn't say anything more. He was staring at the TV, which was playing the prisoner's confession.

Zhong Xian closed his eyes and opened them again after a while.

"Are you leaving?"

Deng Yi didn't answer, his eyes were still staring at the TV.

"Tonight...... You won't get bored......"

"You think I'm going to be bored?"

"Stay for my request. You ......"

Deng Yi turned his head, with an inexplicable smile in his eyes, "Afraid of me leaving?"

It's always so straightforward. The bell strings seemed to be deflated.

"Sleep in peace." Deng Yi's hand close to Zhong Xian's side reached into the quilt and held one of Zhong Xian's hands. "Then I won't be able to leave, so go in peace."

That hand is soft. It doesn't really look like a policeman's hand.

But what does it look like to hold hands and sleep like this? Zhong Xian first let go of his hand and tossed it aside.

"I don't think I've hurt anyone. Hurting yourself doesn't count. Will this also be retributed? I understand what you mean - my current problem, all my symptoms, is retribution. ”

Deng Yi didn't answer.

"I thought you were very good at psychoanalysis."

Deng Yi said after a while: "I think, in fact, you want to die." ”

Zhong Xian was stunned.

"There are many ways to die, and most of them will die quickly. You have chosen a method of dying slowly. Do you need me to recommend a more comfortable way to die?"

"Are you kidding?"

"I also think I have a good sense of humor."

"You think too much, do you want to die!"

"You're doing that. Cut the life force in your youthful body. ”

"I'm probably suffering from these illnesses and find life boring, that's all. I just want to get some sleep right now. Can you talk about something light-hearted?"

“…… Good. Serving you, hypnotizing you. ”

"I thank you. Please do such an unconscionable thing. ”

"Willing to serve. Tell me what I think of you. You close your eyes and listen. You're perfect, brilliant, excellent. ...... at the beginning"

"You're sarcastic about me again?"

"I'm ...... the truth"

"Can you do it? I don't want to hear this. You don't have to beat around the bush and say, I'll admit I'm just a piece of. ”

"Okay."

"Tell me what your psychology thinks of people like me."

"I can't finish talking about it for a while. Let's talk about a well-known theory in psychology - the most fundamental cause of mental illness - everyone should know that life is full of suffering. Don't think that life should be smooth, suffering is actually normal. Attempts to escape, refusing to face and solve the troubles that arise one after another in life, will cause all kinds of psychological problems. If you can understand and accept that life is full of suffering, then you will be balanced......"

Zhong Xian inadvertently grabbed Deng Yi's wrist and immediately let go. He closed his eyes, occasionally opened them a little, and saw Deng Yi lying on his side with his head in his hands. A pair of eyes are half-open. His face was clean and clear in the faint light, like white marble.

Zhong Xian quietly grabbed the corner of the sleeve of the person next to him. Fell asleep.

"Everyone has to face all kinds of troubles in life. Life is full of suffering......"

That's the answer. Zhong Xian thought to himself. That's the right psychology. I'm not alone. Life is full of suffering.