"Okay." I said, "But I still hope you get right up soon." I know that Michelle's story has been a big shock to you, because until now, we haven't found anything wrong with her background, which makes it impossible for you to trust our investigative methods. However, it also proves that we have relied too much on investigation and lost our own judgment. When your father established this team, he didn't have the investigative skills he has today, so what did he rely on to know people? ”

He laughed, a little resigned: "But he can control me." ”

"So you don't have the confidence to handle someone stronger than you, do you?"

He was still laughing, but he looked a little helpless because I had been cornered and had nothing to say.

"I don't want to interfere with you." I said, "I hope I can give you a perspective to consider." ”

He was silent for a while, and then he became a little depressed: "I never dared to trust my own judgment, because I always felt that the human heart is fickle and sometimes very terrifying. But you're right, all of my current people, including Ah Chang, trust me not because of their clean background, but because of what I know about them. ”

"Hmm."

"I'll consider it, if he's not interested in my wife." He stretched out his hand and said, "Come here and hold it." ”

I leaned over and hugged him and asked, "Is it so uncomfortable?" ”

He shook his head.

He was already like this, and my nagging could not make him more comfortable, let alone transfer the alcohol to me for him, but only satisfied my selfish desire to "I care about him", so even though I wanted to say something, I stopped my mouth, propped myself up, and when I saw him looking at me, I explained, "I'll go get a towel and wipe it for you." ”

He let go.

When I brought the towel, I found that he was almost asleep, half-squinting, like a lazy sloth.

I helped him wipe his face and other exposed parts, and at one point I had the illusion that I was fifty years from now - I wondered if we would all be alive then.

He suddenly spoke: "Lingling......"

"Huh?"

"You've changed a lot." His eyes were still closed.

"I'm getting old." Although I haven't developed fine lines at the corners of my eyes yet, it's a credit to the cosmetics and I can feel my heart starting to age. It feels a little sad, but I don't want to admit it, so I always tell myself that I'm just mature.

"Nope." "Grown up," he said. ”

He's qualified to say that, because he's a lot older than me. I asked, "Don't you feel good?" ”

He shook his head, still with his eyes closed: "When I first saw you, I thought you were very cute and innocent. Although I didn't fall in love with you, it was a beautiful feeling. ”

I didn't speak.

Of course, I know that innocence is good, cuteness is good, everything that is pure is beautiful, and everything that is beautiful is good. But it is also easy to wither. I can't keep it, so I can't adapt to the world without making myself ugly.

Then he was silent for a long time, then opened his eyes and looked at me.

I still didn't speak, avoided his gaze, and helped him cover the quilt.

I heard him speak: "Lingling ......"

"Huh?"

"I feel happy and guilty at the same time." He said: "The joy is that you are stupid not because you are really stupid, but because you are young. Now you've grown up and become smart and not reckless. The guilt is that you grew up, not because I was taking care of you, but because I made you suffer a lot. ”

I shook my head, and even now I'm still being stupid because I didn't leave him.

I said, "You said to me before that you like smart women. ”

"yes." He laughs.

"In comparison, do you prefer me now, or me before?"

"Present." He was still laughing: "I didn't like you before." ”

"You're straightforward." I'm speechless.

He laughed for a while, and slowly smiled: "Actually, I just wanted to say at first, no matter what you become, I will love you." But come to think of it, I'm not qualified to say such things in front of you, so I won't say it. I don't like or hate how you've changed now, but it doesn't affect my love for you. When he said this, he sighed again: "I'm not qualified to say that. ”

In a way, he really doesn't qualify. Because I had never given him the same test he had given me, and he really couldn't prove that he could love me at any time—Britney didn't.

Sometimes I also think that my life is to prove that love may not be as beautiful and powerful as the legend says. Anyway, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have entered into this marriage with him again, I'd rather not know him. Even if I have to grow up eventually, I still have to become philistine, ugly, calculating, old-fashioned...... I don't want to take on such a challenge again.

But I said, "According to Britney's theory, you have always loved me, but sometimes it shows itself in him and sometimes it shows itself in you." You've always hated me, sometimes in him, and sometimes in you. And for others, when they love, they hate and sleep, and when they hate, love is gone. When you think about it, things between you and me aren't very bad. ”

He looked at me, lost in thought.

"So don't say you're not qualified." I said, "You have loved me for so many years, which is a rare thing for you." ”

There is no way to break down the right and wrong of this matter, and the conclusion is that we are still together.

Whatever it is, I have to be with him.

In the afternoon, Dr. Li called and said that he had read the diary. So I invited him to the study.

He came with a copy of the diary, and after we exchanged pleasantries, I apologized for Fanyin, saying, "He has apologized to me, and I can understand him completely." He is very afraid now, because this personality is strong, and the source of his self-confidence is his strong reason, so he is very afraid, and when he loses his reason, you will all leave him. At this time, the slightest disturbance was enough to cause him to have an overreaction. ”

I nodded and said, "Just understand." ”

"I understand, and I've got a judgment." He laughs and says, "This diary has given me a new guess. ”

His speculations are quite accurate, and not just based on the perspective of medicine itself.

Last time he was completely on the phone, so I hurriedly asked, "What kind of speculation?" ”

"In the diary, the two personalities have been reorganized twice." He said: "The first time was the front, and at that time it was a neat personality, that is, the second personality is the main personality now, because the second personality at that time offended the main personality, therefore, the main personality 'punished' him, but from the back it can be analyzed, that is, reorganization. The second time is actually the last page, the personality has no love for himself, and combined with my previous analysis of his condition, I think that after this, the personality at that time gave up its position, reorganized its personality, and assigned the memory to the personality, an important ingredient in determining who is the main personality. As a result, the strong personality became the first personality completely, because the original first personality was going to give up everything and kill himself. ”

"Yes." I've been wondering if that's what the last page meant. After all, almost all the speculation about this before was true, and the diary proved its authenticity, that is, this speculation is now not just speculation, it is confirmed, which can be used as an important information for the cure. Of course, I was very happy and hurriedly asked, "So what do you speculate?" ”

"For so many years, the strong personality has always been the dominant personality, he has always mastered most of the resources, and the second personality, that is, the former dominant personality, has always been the weak side, but judging from his avoidance of treatment, he has always wanted to regain his position." He said: "I think all the actions of the second personality now will revolve around this. Therefore, my speculation is that in order to reorganize the personality, it must be dominated by the current personality, and all the actions of the second personality are trying to force the personality to reorganize. ”

That's right, I said, "But he's been doing things for the family." ”

"It depends on what character weaknesses the current master personality has." "The second personality is quite aware of the personality weaknesses of the main personality, but if he wants to make sure that nothing goes wrong, he has to take his time," he said. But at least one thing can be reassured, and that is that their strengths and weaknesses will change, but their personalities will not. ”

"Memories change, too?"

"Memory is one of the important factors that determine strength or weakness." He said: "Therefore, the first personality can rest assured that the initiative is in his hands. ”

I seemed to understand yesterday's events a little, so I talked about yesterday's events and said, "In this way, what the second personality said before is actually an illusion, and he has not become stronger in essence. And the reason why he was like this yesterday was because he wanted to lose confidence in the first personality through the failure of his children and career? ”

"I think that's the starting point, and he's definitely going to think of a more thoughtful approach." "But there is no evidence for my speculation, we need to find evidence," Dr. Lai said. ”

"It's okay." I said, "Seriously, a lot of things are expected by you, and I really trust your speculation." Do you have any suggestions? ”

He pursed his lips and didn't speak.

"Say whatever you want." I said, "I'm not going to be angry. ”

"It should be clear that both of them are him, so who is the main personality is not the most important thing."

"Hmm."

"The most important thing is that they have the possibility of integration."

"Hmm."

"The traditional approach is that there must be a willingness on both sides to integrate." "The first personality already has a desire to integrate, the problem is with the second personality, but the second personality has no chance of negotiating," he said. After today's events, I am afraid that the second personality will no longer be able to establish trust in me. ”

I didn't speak.

"So first of all, I need to build trust in the second personality." He hesitated and said, "I think it's a great opportunity to switch. ”

I still didn't speak.

"When two personalities are converted, information will begin to be exchanged, and this process must not be completed in a day, and you can take the opportunity to negotiate during this period." He also knew that his idea was too strange, so he was very careful: "If this can't be successful, after the conversion is successful, I will also have the opportunity to fully negotiate with the second personality, so that he has the desire to integrate." ”