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1. Not a romantic castle life

Ahem, to get back to the point, what is everyone's impression of medieval Europe?

Tong Guò read "Grimm's Fairy Tales" and "Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales" when he was a child, as well as countless Hollywood blockbusters he watched as an adult, modern people should generally have this romantic association with medieval Europe:

- Magnificent castles, knights in bright armor, fiery noblewomen, elegant and shy princesses, witches in black or purple robes, vampires hiding in cemeteries, werewolves howling in the moonlight...... Huh? Something strange seems to have gotten in?

Well, for the sake of strictness, before talking about the style of medieval Europe, it is better to first exclude the unscientific fantasy products of witches, vampires, and werewolves in the first place - God knows if these magical creatures will open a door in their own fireplace, just sprinkle a handful of strange powder on their bodies, and then burrow into the fireplace with their cat's waist, and then run to the Champs-Elysées in Paris in the 21st century to buy new fashion?

As far as the real world is concerned, the main theme of medieval Europe is knights and castles, and the journey through time must also revolve around these two - the reason why the protagonists work tirelessly through time and space is usually not to suffer and receive re-education from the poor middle peasants, but to appreciate the medieval style and make achievements, naturally they will not choose to travel through the streets of serfs, thieves and other street characters (if you want to be Robin Hood), at least you have to mix the title of a noble knight, with a castle, a manor, and armor at home, and a few young maids for **** to rub oil.

Well, so what's next? Could it be that he lives in a very large and beautiful castle like this, holds the princess who is full of fragrance, goes to the knight tournament every year to show off, and occasionally goes to the countryside to find a few favorite peasant girls to exercise the right of the first night, and change their appetite to fight in the field?

Unfortunately, the dream is very full, the reality is very skinny, and the aristocratic life in the Middle Ages is not as comfortable as you think.

Let's talk about medieval castles first! Castles were essentially military fortresses to be defended, not lavish palaces to be put on display, much less holiday villas to enjoy the pleasures of life - these fortified fortresses built of rock, surrounded by deep moats, guarded by iron gates and drawbridges, could indeed be intimidating to the unscrupulous peekers of aristocratic wealth in medieval Europe, but they were not necessarily comfortable for their owners.

-- During the Cultural Revolution, all of China's large, medium, and small cities were desperately building fortifications and digging many air-raid shelters, but after the reform and opening up, it seems that not many people who were greedy for cheap money moved to live there...... Where in the world will there be a livable military fortress?

The main points of the bad life of a castle in the Middle Ages are as follows:

First of all, in order to facilitate long-term maintenance, most castles were built in steep places, such as cliffs, mountain tops, and small islands in the middle of the river. But the synonym of the rugged terrain is the lack of transportation. If your castle is located on a rugged hilltop and looks like it looks like it's all over the world, but every trip up the hill can make you choking on the road. If there are not enough wells in the castle, it is also tiring to fetch water and transport food every day.

Of course, these trivial chores were to be done by the servants, and the masters had only to worry about how to make the elaborate carriage run through the winding narrow mountain road, pull up the steep slope, and get into their castle.

Secondly, in order to guard against enemy bows and arrows and stone throwers, there were few window holes in the outer walls of medieval castles, so the interior of the castle was always dark, the sun did not shine, and it was naturally very humid. In addition, the level of construction at that time was not up to par, and there were inevitably some cracks in the walls and roof, so when it rained, it leaked badly, which led to the cleaning of the castle was very problematic.

However, medieval Europeans also had a poor sense of hygiene, so those seemingly majestic castles were usually full of dust, cobwebs, bed bugs, fleas, mosquitoes, flies and household garbage, and I am afraid that they were not as clean as the cardboard houses of contemporary Japanese vagabonds.

In addition, large fabrics from medieval Europe, the price is still very expensive. In the poorer places, only the owner of the castle was generally entitled to sleep in a bed, and the rest, even knightly squires, had to sleep on straw piles like cattle, and were bitten by bed bugs with their horses......

Belch? You say that the German castles you see in tourist brochures are gorgeous and comfortable, and they are not as sad as I say?

Oh, you're talking about Neuschwanstein Castle in Bavaria, Germany!

The castle was built in the late 19th century by the Grand Duke of Bavaria, and many of the ornate structures such as spires are made of concrete, so you can think of it as a modern Disney park - a real medieval castle is so cute!

In addition, there are some gorgeous castles in Europe that are often used as tourist attractions, in fact, they are also modern aristocrats who like to be stylish, and they were built after the Renaissance, or even in the 18th and 19th centuries, or they have been rebuilt on a large scale on the original site of the old castle, which can basically no longer be regarded as a real medieval castle, but can only be said to be "a palace that looks like a castle", which is almost the same as the castle in Disneyland.

In fact, in modern Germany and Austria, there are many descendants of the dilapidated aristocracy who inherited the ancient castles, and they are afraid of the inheritance of these ancestors, and are willing to transfer them for only 1 euro on the Internet, but there is still no interest - most of the medieval castles were built in barren mountains and mountains with inconvenient transportation and sparse population, not to mention no water or electricity, even if you have to drive around the city for dozens of kilometers, no one wants to live except for archaeological experts.

Moreover, not only are these castles subject to a large inheritance tax, but they are also very expensive to maintain - not to mention the size of the castle and how complex the structure is, just let the construction team carry heavy building materials and related machinery, travel all the way to the castle, and also have to bring their own dry food, drinking water and motors...... The labor cost of this attendance is much more expensive than doing decoration in the city.

However, these castles are still historical and cultural heritage, and they are recorded in the government archives, and if future generations let them collapse due to weathering, or indiscriminately converted into warehouses or something, the relevant cultural relics department will still find you to have a lawsuit......

In short, after you inherit the castle, you will need to maintain the castle as it is, whether you move in or not. Any renovation that changes the appearance of the building, even if it is just a wire to install a few air conditioners, must be written a report several months in advance. And all repair materials must also use special brand products from government-designated manufacturers, and the price is definitely expensive. And you have to hire professionals to carry out the construction, and the labor cost is enough to make your heart tremble...... Spending hundreds of thousands of euros a year is normal, and it is usually impossible to afford it if you are not a monopoly.

In the same way, under the backward productivity of the Middle Ages, the maintenance and repair cost of a castle is also unbearable for many people.

Therefore, at the end of the Middle Ages, after the wars of the Great 6 in Europe were no longer so frequent, the aristocratic lords who were concerned about the quality of life moved their belongings to more comfortable country houses or luxurious official residences in the bustling city, and refused to live in this damn broken castle again.