I've always lived in the north and love the four seasons in the north, and I have depression and anxiety in the north, which makes me miserable.

I have been writing online articles for several years, "Mao Liar" Part 1 and 2, a total of 25 novels, nearly 20 million words, I can't help but say that I have depression and anxiety, and it has something to do with my writing, since it is not directly related, at least it is related.

This work may be my final work, I plan to finish writing 12 books, more than 4 million words, I will smash the computer, and never touch the computer again, this is something that makes it too painful, and I will no longer touch the text. This novel is regarded as a summary of my life, or a full stop, whether it is beautiful or imperfect, it is always a full stop.

Every day I am very miserable, trying to make myself act like a normal person in front of others, in fact, I am not normal, I know this very well. Therefore, I rarely go out to meet people, every day in a single room by myself, writing, eating, drinking, talking to myself, chatting with myself, competing, anyway, it is a day alone, so that my condition is aggravated, take medicine, but I try to control myself.

Loneliness is actually a knife that kills, a knife that you can't see. If one day I leave this world, I think that may be my fate.

The reason why I don't write anymore as a summary is because I discovered a secret that has been painful for me for a long time.

I have been living in Nurhachi's place of rebellion, Xinbin County, the Jin Dynasty in the early 12th century, this is the residence of the Jurchens, there is a Suzi River, Nurhachi is the Jurchens, in the early 16th century, he built Manchuria, built the capital Xingjing, is the old city of Xinbin where I live now.

My ancestors lived here, I am a Manchurian, we are all people, if you push forward, it should be a Jurchen, but whether it is or not, this is really not clear.

However, I discovered a secret that made me decide to end my writing career with this novel.

The discovery of this big secret really changed my life, I found this secret five years ago, when I found out this secret, I didn't believe it was true at all, but it was real, it was completely true, I didn't believe it, in the past five years, in the end, I still believed, or I accepted this reality.

When I first learned about this secret, it kind of made me lose control, I can't say whether I was happy or frightened, but now I am immersed in it and decided to write it down, which can be regarded as a historical account.

Shamanism is a kind of non-cultural heritage of the world, except for China, in the United States, Japan, and the United Kingdom, and now shamans in various countries have completely become a profession, and a large number of shamans continue to appear, and China, shamans and shamans as a past history, have died out, or even do not exist. Because, in the eyes of people, or recorded in the official history, the wizard is a dancing god, a superstition, as a cultural existence, not promoted, not promoted, and not combated.

However, this is only the official history, in fact, the real shaman is not a secret world that is not known to the public, as recorded in the official history or the complete documentary materials.

I discovered this secret five years ago, and it completely changed my view of the world, and the wizards in the game are a different kind of wizards.

In the past five years, in addition to writing novels, I have been studying this shamanic culture, and I have found that it is a profound and profound culture.

I have studied the Book of Changes, and Yuan Tiangang's astrology, "Qimen Dunjia", "Shao Zi Shenshu", "Ziwei Emperor", some strange books, I don't know how much I understand, these cultures are a bit too thick, I really can't memorize them, but I like them.

The secret I discovered five years ago seemed to foreshadow my fate, and it changed at that moment, and even I think that these strange books I read before were also prepared for my secret, so about this secret, in the following chapters, are written one by one, it is true, and it is also a fact, this cannot be changed, I don't know, if I write this secret and say it, will I suffer the retribution of my ancestors, but no matter what, I have to do it, maybe as a culture, It needs to be passed on, and those who need it choose the essence and eat it!