Chapter 17, the royal laser roast chicken
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At the same time, on the tower of the East Water Gate of Bianliang City, a few miles away from Jinying, Doraemon, Nobita, and Wang Qiu were observing the riots in Jinying through the monitoring screen of the [Mini Reconnaissance Satellite].
“…… Well, the eighteen [earthquake catfish] have all been released, and the intensity of the earthquake is strong enough, at least seven or eight magnitudes, but unfortunately the affected range is still not large enough...... Alas, after all, it is not a special military earthquake weapon, but just a prank prop for children to play with......"
Seeing that there was a riot in only a few parts of the enemy camp, Doraemon muttered under his breath as he assembled a few more iron shelves and installed a few toy rockets the size of a Coke bottle on them, "...... Let's keep up the good work and shoot the [Scare Missile]! ”
Nobita struck a match knowingly and lit the fuse at the tail of the [Scare Missile] one by one...... Hey, is this a missile or a firecracker?
Well, in any case, these so-called missiles, which at first glance looked very coarse, crude, and rustic, finally succeeded in whistling into the enemy camp, causing an excellent sound and light effect -- in an instant, the ground shook, lightning and thunder, flames churned, sand and rocks flew away, and ghosts cried and wolves howled......
Although these are only non-lethal phantom effects, in the eyes of the ancients, they are completely indistinguishable from the real end of the world.
As a result, a cadre of Jurchens, Khitans, Xi people, Han Chinese, Bohai people, and Goryeo people in the Jin army camp had a nervous breakdown.
-- Shouting, trampling each other, colliding and misfire, slashing with knives...... The "camp roar" that ancient military strategists feared the most exploded in an instant!
And thousands of frightened war horses also rushed out in the chaos and rampaged through the camp of the Jin army, further adding to the chaos.
“…… It's finally messing up, but we need to add more fire...... Then there's the [Female Ghost Set] ......"
Seeing the appearance of chickens and dogs jumping and flames in the enemy camp, it seemed that the effect of making trouble was not bad, Doraemon finally nodded, and released a group of miserable white female ghosts with their tongues stuck out from a small box, "...... Go, go, go! Go over there and scare people! Come back at dawn! ”
…… Looking at this group of toy female ghosts that resemble the legendary "Sadako", she screamed "...... Woo woo woo woo ~ ~ ~ I died so miserably~~~~~ give me back my life to ~~~~~~", while flying down from the head of Bianliang City, swaying into the Jin military camp that was already boiling at this moment, Wang Qiu couldn't help but silently light a candle for the Jurchens in his heart...... I don't know how many of these unlucky bastards will be scared out of the way?
The only pity is that these female ghosts speak Japanese...... But that's okay, fear knows no borders like science!
“…… Doraemon, to talk about harassing the enemy, we have done enough. But these tricks alone can't defeat the Jin army. ”
On the way back to rest, Wang Qiu muttered to Doraemon, "...... Tomorrow's business, can you guarantee that it will be okay? ”
“…… Rest assured! A qiē is under control! I've done it beforehand several times! ”
Doraemon confidently patted his chest and promised, "...... In the past, they have destroyed the space fleet and defeated the terrifying demon king! An army of cold weapons like this kind of cold weapons outside the city that doesn't know magic at all, even if there are a million, we are definitely not afraid to say it! ”
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On the morning of November 23 of the first year of Jingkang, the Great Song Dynasty Tokyo Bianliang City, on the upper floor of the East Water Gate City
At this moment, on the front line of the offensive and defensive battle of Bianliang, there is a lively scene of shoulder to shoulder.
Of course, this was not to deal with the siege of the Jin people - in fact, the Jin army had just been tormented all night by a series of earthquakes, ghosts, and mutinies last night, and thousands of unlucky people had died from trampling on each other, and now they were already exhausted, many of them were so tired that they could not even climb up, and the formation of the army had been scattered in a chaotic manner, and there was no possibility of attacking the city.
And Wanyan Zongwang, who also injured his forehead in the earthquake, also had to cancel the attack plan booked today.
Therefore, at this time, the gold camp was still in a mess, and even the sheds and tents that had been burned out last night had not been cleaned up. The next faction in Bianliang City was calm, and the Song troops defending the city at the head of the city were holding spears or standing or sitting, with a leisurely face. However, in the open space inside the city gate, at this time it was crowded with people and noisy, not only were the eyes full of high-ranking officials and officials in Zhu Zi's clothes, but there was even a Huang Luo umbrella cover of the Great Song Emperor!
The only strange thing is that under the umbrella of Huang Luo, which symbolizes the Son of Heaven, there is no dragon robe crown of the Son of Heaven, but there is a man in a blue leotard wearing a red cloak and red underwear...... It's true, this is the current Great Song Emperor Zhao Huan!
-- Because Guo Jing and Guo Daxian said yesterday that they would destroy the Jin soldiers, Zhao Huan, who had just received a human suit and felt very good about himself, brought hundreds of civil and military officials over to cheer. At this time, in Bianliang City, there are many people who believe in the fairy road, after hearing the news, they go up to the noble gentry, down to the peddlers and pawns, and also come over to see the excitement, and make this frontier battlefield more lively than the vegetable market.
Of course, those obscure lords and priests also came with them, and continued to whisper in the emperor's ears the call for surrender.
“…… Official, Jin is a big army, no one in the world can stop it, if I blindly fight the main battle, defeat is not good, and victory is also eventful......"
In the biting cold wind, Geng Nanzhong was wearing a thick leather jacket, trembling slightly, while still bitterly persuading the emperor to bend his knees to the Jin army and sue for peace, "...... Although the Jurchen barbarians are ferocious, they are shallow in their knowledge after all, and they are just plundering some land and goods, and they only hurt the skin of our Great Song Dynasty, and do not damage the foundation. And if the war continues, and those vulgar martial artists are allowed to be rewarded for their meritorious service and become a court, my Great Song Dynasty will not be a country! ”
-- Even when the death of this country was imminent, Geng Nanzhong's only thing on his mind was to suppress the martial artists.
However, the emperor ignored the nagging of the former minister and former prime minister of the East Palace, and just stared intently at a grill not far away, on which the bare chicken had just been inserted with sticks by the eunuchs, and had been eviscerated and faded...... I saw that this person took a deep breath, and shouted "hey" in his mouth, and two bright lasers shot out of his eyes, which fell straight on the raw chicken that was being turned around by the little eunuch with a stick, and it didn't take long for it to roast to the point of oil, emitting bursts of tempting fragrance......
Seeing that the big rooster that had just been slaughtered had been thoroughly roasted, and the emperor also gasped and stopped the laser, several little eunuchs hurriedly took down the roast chicken, brushed it with sauce and refined salt, put it on a large silver plate, and then respectfully presented it to the emperor:
“…… Congratulations, your electric eye has grown again! A few days ago, the chicken was often charred or half-baked, but now it is freely harvested, and the chicken is charred on the outside and tender on the inside, and it is ripe for a few years...... I think it won't be long before I can achieve great things! ”
“…… That is, I don't look at how hard I've cultivated these days! Even the study was burned down three times! ”
The Human Emperor grabbed a towel casually, wiped the sweat from his head, and said with a smile, "...... I'm not hungry now, and I'll give you this chicken!" ”
“…… Thank you for the reward! When several eunuchs heard this, they quickly put on a grateful look, and retreated with the roast chicken in their hands.
After practicing roasting this chicken with a laser eye, Emperor Zhao Huan turned around and replied to Geng Nanzhong with a calm face:
“…… Xi Dao (Geng Nanzhong's expression), I already know your foresight. But now I am already a cultivator, I can soar into the sky, I can pull out the mountains and lift the top below, and I am a Jurchen Tartar, so why be afraid? Among the counties in the world, who dares to embarrass me? ”
After that, he looked around, then grabbed a boulder that was idle in the ruins, easily picked it up with one hand, and then flew straight into the air with a boulder weighing thousands of catties, posed casually, and then threw it violently towards Jinying!
-- In the dull gaze of many soldiers at the head of the city, this boulder was like a giant cannonball of a large-caliber train cannon in later generations, accompanied by a terrifying roar that tore through the air, crossed a long parabola in mid-air, and finally accurately fell into the camp of the Jin army, smashing up a cloud of smoke and screams!
After a moment of dead silence, the Song army at the head of the city suddenly burst into cheers: "...... Banzai! Banzai! His majesty's divine power is invincible in the world! ”
And Geng Nanzhong, who was under the city wall, as a standard literati doctor, was so angry that he beat his chest and rolled his eyes.
“…… Official! Official, wake up! The way to govern the country lies in virtue rather than courage! As a hundred officials and an example for all the people, how can He be so willing to be lowly, full of blood, and be in the company of those despicable soldiers? ”
-- It's a pity that most of the civil and military officials around him are cheering and congratulating, and no one pays attention to him, an old man who is a bad old man.