Chapter 22, the king of meow on the cat cart

By the time the Cat Legion triumphed from the steppe, it was already nightfall in Karn Village, and you could see a beautiful starry sky when you looked up. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

The whole village of Karn and the twenty cavalry brought by Captain Gurdjief were carrying torches or oil lamps to welcome them at the entrance of the village.

The joy of escaping death and the fear of facing the strong are subtly mixed, and it is difficult to say what the expression on their faces is. But in any case, these kitten people who showed a powerful demeanor, and their "owner" Lord Ainz, still received countless thanks and praises.

In addition to thanks and praise, Captain Gurdjief also tried to ask about the final fate of the special forces of the Slen Sect on the other side.

And the tabby Elvis Presley Qiu casually replied while raising his paws to sell cuteness that although he killed several of the enemies with great might, he failed to achieve total annihilation, and the remaining enemies still fled with the corpses of their companions, so there were no prisoners and no loot meows......

This obviously perfunctory answer was obviously difficult to convince, so the unrelenting Captain Gurdjief led people out of the village overnight, and searched carefully on the grassland by moonlight, but sure enough, he still found nothing...... The eight-limbed assassination insects sent by the Nasalik Great Tomb cleaned the battlefield extremely clean, not only all the prisoners and equipment were escorted back to the Nasalik Great Tomb, but even the corpses of people and horses, as well as the stumps and severed arms that were shattered by the explosion, were also eaten clean by these eight-limbed assassination insects that were essentially carnivorous spiders, except for the scorch marks and large pits left by the explosion, basically nothing was left.

On the other hand, the villagers of Karn Village, who had survived the disaster, were already exhausted after the most exciting day of their lives, but in order to entertain their benefactors and dispel their fears and sorrows, they still held a bonfire dinner.

Under the supervision of the village chief, the villagers each took out the dried meat, small fish, and wine that they treasured at home, as well as the wild honey that they were easily reluctant to eat, and entertained the venerable "Great Magician of Anz" and Wang Dulai, as well as the cats who have a shocking performance today.

Overall, the texture and taste of these things are slightly inferior to the food provided by the Great Tomb of Nasalik, but most Cat-Man players don't care - for them, due to technical limitations, they can't complete the simulation of taste through electronic signals, and their bodies are far away in the other world, and they can't actually experience the taste of otherworldly food at all. The so-called dinner is nothing more than a dialog called [Eat], which is automatically operated by the server system, and all the player can see is the amount of stamina that gradually recovers as the food is ingested.

However, those players who are really in this world, such as the cat rider Ricky, the fairy Flore, and the cat priest Dustheart, who are trapped in the infinite space of the other world, are very happy to carry wine bottles and drink happily - until they become drunk cats. Eventually, the drunken kittens climbed onto the roof and performed a meow chorus. And the drunken goblin Flore flew crookedly around Karn Village, smirking and throwing all sorts of goblin tricks.

- The goblin trick is the racial talent of the goblin race, and in addition to the convenience of not having a cooldown time, it also fully reflects the chaotic nature of the goblin race: its effects are random, equivalent to buying a lottery ticket, and only after it is cast, can you know what spell is released.

Of course, in general, the effect of fairy tricks is very much in line with the purpose of the SOS group, which is to "make the world more lively"!

So, accompanied by the sound of cheerful music from nowhere, the whole village instantly lit up with a soft colored light, beautiful, warm but not dazzling.

Then, the invisible magic turns into colorful fireworks, which decorate the entire night sky with extraordinarily beautiful and brilliant colors!

“…… Where does all this light come from? Is this magic? ”

“…… Wow! What beautiful fireworks! I've heard that you can only see it in big cities! ”

“…… Hum! O stupid human! See how powerful our goblins are! Flor, the little goblin, crossed his hands on his hips and boasted triumphantly.

“…… Bang Bang Bang! Yummy, great, great! Beautiful young lady! Let's have another one! For a while, several children in the village clapped their hands and applauded, and many adults who were still grieving the death of relatives and friends also cast their expectant glances one after another.

They are not heartless, nor are they hard-hearted, but the more cruel and turbulent the era, the more human beings can not live in sorrow, no matter what, they have to work hard and cheer themselves up, so that they and their surviving families can live better.

It is for the same reason that those soldiers and officers, as soon as they are out of the bloody battlefield, will go to the eagerness to get drunk, prostitute and gamble, and use all kinds of depraved pleasures to quench the fear in their hearts and soothe their wounded souls, as has been the case throughout the ages.

In the face of the desires and prayers of so many people, the arrogant Flor immediately readily promised that for full-level goblin players, the "goblin trick" thing is basically an entertainment skill that can be used however you want, and it is completely effortless.

"...... [Fairy Trick - Triple Most Enhanced]! Let's make this little village happy!! ”

As a result, one after another shining and bright colorful light dust erupted from Flore's hand. In the next moment, more splendid scenes like a festival carnival appeared one after another under the incredible mysterious power, and descended on this small village that had just survived the catastrophe.

“…… Hahahaha! A fountain is pouring out of the middle of the barnyard! Wait, it's beer! ”

“…… It's amazing! Look at it! The Emmett house is in full bloom!! ”

“…… Huh? Am I drunk? My plowshare and the village chief's table are dancing?

“…… How does my helmet sing? Sounds good...... Alas, it would be great if my wife's singing was as good as this! ”

“…… Hush! Quietly, I could hear my shield singing...... Oh my God, my sword jumped out on its own?!! ”

……

Let the clear beer fountains erupt from the dry earth, let the window frames and door panels sprout and bloom a bunch of beautiful flowers, let the helmets and armor sing merrily, let the tables and chairs clatter into circle dances, let the sickles and swords jingle and twist the waist, let the big bronze bell that alarms the village turn into a giant music box, and play all kinds of cheerful tunes...... the skill of "fairy tricks" is the epitome of the chaotic nature of the elves, happy to make everything messy, But for some reason, it always creates a happy atmosphere that makes people laugh.

- Just as all kinds of fantasy monsters are often some kind of materialized reflection of the human mind. The so-called goblins are actually a group of playful naughty children who never grow up, symbolizing the purest childlike innocence of human beings. For goblins, curiosity, cuteness, and mischievous nature are their indelible nature - of course, it can also be understood as the comic nature of "cheap hands are common sense, and death is nature......

In this way, Flore, who was half awake and half drunk, wantonly used the natural ability of the fairy to turn this campfire dinner for the rest of her life into a lively festival in a big city, and made almost everyone happy. Finally, a super-ornate labyrinth was unleashed, transforming the entire village of Karn into a large glowing labyrinth adorned with puppets, ribbons, and shrubs......

In short, the villagers of Karn, after a terrible day of ups and downs and terrible death, had another wonderful night of joy and endless aftertaste. Such a stark contrast that these isolated villagers will not be forgotten until many years later

Then, early the next morning, led by the kingdom's warrior chief Gurdjief, who had dark circles under his eyes for some reason, and more than 20 royal guards, the "Great Magician Ainz" and his followers and "pets" hurriedly set foot on the fortress city before the sun fully rose. Journey ...... Lantil The residents of Karn Village, who woke up with a hangover, had to worry about the home that had suddenly become a large labyrinth......

What Ainz never expected was that his trip to the fortress city would turn into a unique and shameful play trip......

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Fortress City Yay. On the avenue on the outskirts of Lantier, an extremely strange-looking open-top carriage was speeding towards the city at a galloping speed surrounded by many retinues and knights, attracting countless pedestrians to stop and watch, and point at it and talk about it.

- In fact, there should be no problem with the open-top carriage itself. The smooth and flat black body, the elegant shape with a smooth appearance, and the intricate patterns depicted in gold paint on the panels all show a kind of opulence and grandeur. Even the middle-aged butler who was sitting in front of him and driving was a noble old man with a martial temperament, looking extraordinary in bearing.

But the real wonder is that the animals that dragged the harness in front of them to pull such an imposing convertible were not two or four fat and strong horses, but ...... Two petite cats?!! Naturally, it attracted everyone's attention along the way!

In an era when there was no television, no Internet news, no newspapers and magazines with photos, passers-by naturally did not recognize the ordinarily dressed warrior of the kingdom, Lord Gurdjief, but instead regarded him and his men as the retinue of the noble man in the carriage.

“…… Where did this come from? Can you afford to hire more than 20 cavalry to escort you, but let such a small cat pull the cart? ”

“…… What a quirky guy! Not only does he wear a strange mask, but he also abuses pets like this. These kittens are so pathetic......"

“…… Hey, you're focusing on the wrong thing, right? The real question is, why can such a small cat pull such a large carriage? ”

“…… It seems a little strange to hear you say that! Could it be a specially trained cart-pulling cat? The kind with a lot of strength? ”

“…… I guess it's more likely that I was fed with stimulants! However, in this case, I will soon die suddenly due to physical exhaustion......"

“…… Whew, what a poor little kitten...... Let's find a more gentle master in the next life......"

……

Almost all the pedestrians looked at Ainz's car, and there was a cacophony of chatter. Such evaluations poked into the ears of the Lich King Ainz like steel needles, making him sitting in the car and pretending to be forced, as if he was attacked by an indescribable emotion:

Regret? Mortified? Indignation? Even he didn't know what it was like, but it was very uncomfortable.

“…… What a sad scene...... It's like a punishment game or a shame game......" Ainz muttered as he reached out and tapped the mask on his face, "...... If I had known this, I shouldn't have skimped on those few magic gems used to lift the curse......"

- This trip, even if there is no problem at all in terms of physical strength, but in order to show his style and status, as a noble and great magician, it is obvious that Ainz cannot walk into the city on two legs like an ordinary farmer, but must have a luxurious car or mount that matches his status.

Just like a modern playboy who drives a luxury car or even a luxury yacht, Ainz can't be too shabby.

However, for the special Lich King Ainzi, this issue is very nerve-wracking.

First of all, as a Lich King, Ainz didn't have any "mounting" skills at all, not to mention that as a powerful undead creature, if he didn't pay attention to restraint, he would continue to emit weak negative energy damage almost at any moment, and if he wasn't careful, he would injure or kill the mount under his crotch as a living thing. Secondly, as an undead settlement, there are no ordinary horses raised in the Great Tomb of Nasalik, but all kinds of hideous and terrifying monsters abound, but the current scene is not used for any of them.

- You can't let Ainz ride a nightmare horse with only bones left, right? In that case, why hide your identity?

In addition, the Demon Lady Steward Albede suggested with a smile on his face that the Lich King Ainz could ride on the shoulders of his "rouge horse", which was guaranteed to be stable and fast, and he would definitely be able to run to the fortress city in half a day. Lanthir ...... But he was immediately decisively rejected by Ainz, who was still in moderation.

Since there is a lack of suitable riding beasts, then there is only a car ride. For a mage of the Lich King Ainz's level, crafting a non-magical item is almost as easy as using a 3D printer - almost instantly, he has a foldable, detachable car body. Normally, you can disassemble the carriage and throw all the large and small parts in the [Item Box] (it can be thought of as Doraemon's four-dimensional pocket, but it's much smaller than that thing). When it's time to use it, you can reassemble the car.

Of course, the question of what to use to pull the cart has not been solved. However, according to the scouts' report, in the village of Karn, where the first leg of the trip, there seemed to be people dragging plowshares with oxen and horses, and presumably they could rent a horse to pull the cart if they were willing to pay for it.

So, in accordance with this plan, Ainz went down to Karn Village with a ticket of his subordinates. However, the sudden invasion of the special forces of the Slian Sect completely disrupted all these plans into a pot of porridge - because of the knights who invaded the village and burned them to death, the only few cows and horses in the village either died, or they ran away without knowing where to go, and there was not a single livestock left in the whole village afterwards......

Although when defeating the first knights, they also managed to capture several horses. But these war horses have all fallen for the fairy trick of the little goblin Flore - the [Group Infinite Fart Technique] that has been exhausted! As a result, until the early morning of the second day of departure, the poor horses continued to fart and puff, and the stench was so strong that the villagers did not dare to keep them in the stables, but had to be tied to the trees outside the village!

According to the elf Flore's prediction, these horses will have to fart for at least a month, and if they don't get it, they will even have to fart for the rest of their lives......

Obviously, the Lich King, who relied on magic and still retained his sense of smell, couldn't stand letting two horses pull his cart for himself. The so-called sycophant is certainly very refreshing, but this smell of sycophants can only make people disgusting-although he can use a small spell to temporarily paralyze his sense of smell, he can barely endure it. But how would the passers-by along the way look at themselves, a magician who pulls a cart with two stinky horses that don't stop farting? Could it be that you are mistaken for a "stinky magician" with a disgusting quirk? Abbreviated as "Stinky Mage" or even "Fart Mage"?!

What a humiliation, what a disgrace! What's more, what a force at all!

When people mention Archmage Ainz, they probably think of his two horses that don't stop farting - is this called pretending? It's called ugly, right?

This terrible scene of being misunderstood and unable to speak, Ainz was almost ashamed to death just thinking about it.

He is here to pretend to be majestic and awe-inspiring, not to provide entertainment topics and make a cameo appearance as a harlequin comedian!

Of course, Ainz can also find a way to cure these "fart horses". But the problem is that these horses are not poisoned or sick at this time, but they have been hit by the highest level of fairy tricks, which is equivalent to being in some kind of chaotic curse, so it is not a healing technique or a bottle of healing potion that can be solved, but requires a more advanced skill [Remove Curse]. This will cost you a high-grade scroll or a magic gem...... As a result, Ainz was a little stingy for a while, and he was reluctant to pay such a high price for just two horses.

In fact, there is another way, which is to ask Captain Gurdjief for help: he and his men rode over on more than 20 horses, and with a slight squeeze, two horses could be evenly distributed to pull the cart, and the extra two could ride with other comrades...... But out of some indescribable pride, especially after just showing off and pretending to Captain Gurdjief, Ainz seems to be very reluctant to ask this man for help - he has just pretended to force someone in all directions, but he has to turn his head and beg for someone, such a huge gap is really ruined!

And having the men of Nassalik's tomb pull the cart or simply make a sedan chair on the spot was also not a good idea in the eyes of Ainz - although both the Lady Steward of Jarbede and the butler Sebas were probably happy to pull or carry the sedan chair for Ainz, out of the "dregs of the old world of human concepts", Ainz always felt that the sedan chair was too outdated, and the rickshaw was also a very cheap thing, far less magnificent than a luxury car.

(This is just Ainz himself, and humans in this fantastical world don't think so.) ）

As for magic-powered autonomous vehicles, it is theoretically possible to tinker with them, but this will take a long time to develop, and it will definitely be too late now. So, Tabby Elvis Presley Qiu took the opportunity to propose that he and his kitten man players could take turns pulling the cart - the full-level kitten man player, in terms of physical strength comparable to an elephant, can definitely pull the carriage, as for the problem of insufficient endurance, it can be solved by taking turns to change shifts......

Ainz was initially skeptical, but after learning that one of the great magicians in a fantasy epic also rode in a rabbit sleigh, he gladly accepted the suggestion. (A reference to the brown-robed wizard Redagast in the forest on a rabbit sleigh in The Lord of the Rings, and the rabbit leader who pulls the sled can also speak, and even shout "let the wolf come" at the orc pursuers with his middle finger.) ）

In his thoughts at that time, no matter how alternative the "cat car" was, at least it was better than getting two "fart horses" to smoke people all the way. Who knew that after really riding this "cat car" on the road, pedestrians along the way reacted like this......

Alas, after such an experience, I'm afraid I'm going to be deducted from the titles of "cat abuser" and "black-hearted boss", right?!

However, it has already come to this point, and it doesn't seem to be a good idea to go back on one's word, and it is estimated that it will be easy to be looked down upon.

Those strong people in fantasy epics are usually people who promise a lot of money, how can they easily change their minds casually?

What is the saying? I'm pretending to be forced by myself, even if I'm in tears, I'm going to continue to pretend!

So, in the midst of the cacophony of pointing and pointing and the strange gazes of passers-by along the way, King Meow of the Great Tomb of Nasalik, uh, no, His Majesty the Lich King Ainz, had to hide behind a mask and close his eyes to recuperate, and continued to ride in such an embarrassing "cat car" towards the fortress city under the hustle and back of a crowd of knights, cats, and servants. ......?!

What a humiliation, what a disgrace! What's more, what a force at all!

When people mention Archmage Ainz, they probably think of his two horses that don't stop farting - is this called pretending? It's called ugly, right?

This terrible scene of being misunderstood and unable to speak, Ainz was almost ashamed to death just thinking about it.

He is here to pretend to be majestic and awe-inspiring, not to provide entertainment topics and make a cameo appearance as a harlequin comedian!

Of course, Ainz can also find a way to cure these "fart horses". But the problem is that these horses are not poisoned or sick at this time, but they have been hit by the highest level of fairy tricks, which is equivalent to being in some kind of chaotic curse, so it is not a healing technique or a bottle of healing potion that can be solved, but requires a more advanced skill [Remove Curse]. This will cost you a high-grade scroll or a magic gem...... As a result, Ainz was a little stingy for a while, and he was reluctant to pay such a high price for just two horses.

In fact, there is another way, which is to ask Captain Gurdjief for help: he and his men rode over on more than 20 horses, and with a slight squeeze, two horses could be evenly distributed to pull the cart, and the extra two could ride with other comrades...... But out of some indescribable pride, especially after just showing off and pretending to Captain Gurdjief, Ainz seems to be very reluctant to ask this man for help - he has just pretended to force someone in all directions, but he has to turn his head and beg for someone, such a huge gap is really ruined!

And having the men of Nassalik's tomb pull the cart or simply make a sedan chair on the spot was also not a good idea in the eyes of Ainz - although both the Lady Steward of Jarbede and the butler Sebas were probably happy to pull or carry the sedan chair for Ainz, out of the "dregs of the old world of human concepts", Ainz always felt that the sedan chair was too outdated, and the rickshaw was also a very cheap thing, far less magnificent than a luxury car.

(This is just Ainz himself, and humans in this fantastical world don't think so.) ）

As for magic-powered autonomous vehicles, it is theoretically possible to tinker with them, but this will take a long time to develop, and it will definitely be too late now. So, Tabby Elvis Presley Qiu took the opportunity to propose that he and his kitten man players could take turns pulling the cart - the full-level kitten man player, in terms of physical strength comparable to an elephant, can definitely pull the carriage, as for the problem of insufficient endurance, it can be solved by taking turns to change shifts......

Ainz was initially skeptical, but after learning that one of the great magicians in a fantasy epic also rode in a rabbit sleigh, he gladly accepted the suggestion. (A reference to the brown-robed wizard Redagast in the forest on a rabbit sleigh in The Lord of the Rings, and the rabbit leader who pulls the sled can also speak, and even shout "let the wolf come" at the orc pursuers with his middle finger.) ）

In his thoughts at that time, no matter how alternative the "cat car" was, at least it was better than getting two "fart horses" to smoke people all the way. Who knew that after really riding this "cat car" on the road, pedestrians along the way reacted like this......

Alas, after such an experience, I'm afraid I'm going to be deducted from the titles of "cat abuser" and "black-hearted boss", right?!

However, it has already come to this point, and it doesn't seem to be a good idea to go back on one's word, and it is estimated that it will be easy to be looked down upon.

Those strong people in fantasy epics are usually people who promise a lot of money, how can they easily change their minds casually?

What is the saying? I'm pretending to be forced by myself, even if I'm in tears, I'm going to continue to pretend!

So, in the midst of the cacophony of pointing and pointing and the strange gazes of passers-by along the way, King Meow of the Great Tomb of Nasalik, uh, no, His Majesty the Lich King Ainz, had to hide behind a mask and close his eyes to recuperate, and continued to ride in such an embarrassing "cat car" towards the fortress city under the hustle and back of a crowd of knights, cats, and servants. Lanthir galloped away......