"Ahh

An angry roar came from his head. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

Familiar voices, familiar emotions.

The familiar and unfamiliar figure angrily grabbed the laptop in front of him and slammed it on the desk.

"Bang!"

There are no sawdust flying as expected, and computers are not falling apart and parts are flying.

The wooden table top has a small hole, and the smooth paint surface has a few more breaks, and that's it, insignificant.

The aftermath of the impact shook his hands, but the new hole on the table seemed to mock him.

"Ahh Yes! Yes! ”

Repeating, trembling hands repeatedly lifting the computer and smashing it on the desk......

"Bang!"

"Bang!"

"Bang!"

The violent impact echoes in my mind, and as this sound hits, anger, chagrin, madness, collapse, etc., these negative emotions slowly begin to decrease......

"Whew~" Jun Han exhaled, loosened his clenched teeth, and put down his hands rubbing his facial features flatly.

In front of him, the laptop was still lying on the desk peacefully, because the volume was turned on too much, although the headphones plugged into the notebook were lying quietly on the desktop, Junhan could still hear every lyric, and every sentence was very clear......

Nothing seems to have happened.

But in addition to the sound of music, what was louder in my ears was the endless quarrel coming from the living room through the door.

Jun Han silently picked up the headphones, stuffed them back into his ears, and looked at the architectural design on the screen, but his eyes were so empty......

2 months ago...... Since that night two months ago, his life had begun to turn into a dark swamp with no end, sinking deeper with each step he took, the mire getting tighter with each of his struggles, and his body slowly sinking into the cold, rancid mire.

By this moment, the swamp had reached his neck, but he had stopped sinking, leaving only a mud-laden head still struggling helplessly, helplessly sucking the rotting air......

Jun Han is a recent college graduate, just left the ivory tower of comfort and pleasure, his grades are mediocre, and it is not easy to find employment, but in his opinion, he is liberated after all, there are no more exams, no more annoying papers.

Even if you are confused for a while, you can't find a satisfactory job.

Even if the job is unstable and receives a meager salary.

Even if you are thousands of miles away from your girlfriend, you feel the pain of long-distance lovesickness.

He felt that life was incomparably better, and the world was open to him, waiting for him to explore.

However, it seemed like a bolt from the blue, his father was diagnosed with terminal cancer by the hospital, and he went to several hospitals, all of which were useless, and the doctors gave the diagnosis that he could not live for more than three months, and at most provided conservative treatment.

Immediately afterwards, the bad news continued, the grandparents broke their legs due to depression and caused a slight fracture, although it was not serious, but after all, they were old, and the recovery was difficult, so they had no choice but to become lame, and the grandfather had a stroke because of this fall.

Jun Han's father went home after his condition stabilized, and according to the doctor, go home and have a happy life!

Of course, about the condition, the family is also hiding from his father, just hoping that his mood and mentality will be better, maybe there will be a miracle, Jun Han also quit his job that was originally doing fun, and stayed at home to accompany his father.

Just when Jun Han thought that life couldn't be worse, reality slapped him hard.

was originally Jun Han's spiritual sustenance, and his girlfriend, who had been in love for three years, suddenly proposed to break up, and from this moment on, Jun Han's life was like a mirror hit by a hammer and became fragmented.

There was no retention, no hoarse quarrels, Jun Han let go like this.

The family affection that is about to pass away, the love that has passed away, he can't figure out why he has to go through so much as soon as he graduates, God really played a big joke on him.

Looking at his mother, who had been exhausted by his father's illness, Jun Han decided to silently bear the pain of falling out of love, he told himself, compared to more than 20 years of flesh and blood, compared to his father's critical illness, what is the loss of love? Even if God knows how much he loves that girl, but what!

However, these are far from over, and the already irritable father began to quarrel with his grandparents for some reason.

A small quarrel every day, a big quarrel for three days, the whole family is filled with strong negative emotions, depressed and heavy, which makes Jun Han breathless.

Emotionally manic to death, but he has to smile at his mother and face his father.

What's worse is that he is unwilling to tell others about his pain, even if his desire to talk is very, very strong, he is willing to endure it himself, he doesn't want to become hypocritical and become full of negative energy, but he doesn't know that this is counterproductive......

To destroy it, you must first make it mad.

Over time, two months of mental torture put Jun Han on the verge of a mental breakdown, and at this moment, he inadvertently found a way to vent.

……

"For the fifth time...... Unleashing one's desire to destroy in consciousness is actually addictive. Jun Han muttered to himself.

"Ha, I wonder if I'm a psychotic like this?"

Jun Han smiled bitterly, sometimes even he felt a little nervous.

Ever since he accidentally fantasized about smashing all the furniture and appliances in his room, he couldn't extricate himself, and this kind of mental self-comfort succeeded in dissolving his negative emotions.

Unfortunately, he became dependent on this, from once a day at the beginning to now five or six times a day is not enough, and more importantly, he began to be satisfied with not only destroying in consciousness, but also wanting to put it into practice!

"I thought I was saved, but I didn't expect the situation to be worse~"

Jun Han silently mocked himself, he needed to do something else to divert his attention.

picked up the phone, skillfully clicked on Weibo, found the familiar name, and looked at the few updates in it, although there were few dynamics, but between the lines, Junhan still found a lot of content.

"I found a boyfriend after only a week of breaking up, and I broke up after a month of talking, hahahaha, what do you want to do?"

This is his ex-girlfriend's Weibo, Jun Han in addition to venting negative emotions in his mental consciousness every day to relieve stress, what he does the most is to flip through her ex-girlfriend's Weibo, more than ten times a day or even dozens of times, this is the only way he can understand her life.

"I thought that you were no longer my spiritual sustenance after breaking up, but I didn't expect ...... Flipping through your Weibo, recalling the past, the beauty between you and me has become the only fetters that can make me feel happy from the bottom of my heart. ”

Jun Han pulled open his collar, and there was a necklace hanging around his neck, and on top of it was a sickle-like hook, which was a gift she gave him on a previous trip, and now it was just an object to see things and think about people.

Gripping the tick on the necklace, he closed his eyes, and a tear flowed from the corner of his eye.

"Maybe it's because my own mental capacity is not enough, but I'm really tired......"

Jun Han had already had countless thoughts of seeking death in his heart, and the mental torture had exhausted him, but for some reason, under such heavy pressure, his reason was extremely clear.

He would use the most vicious language to insult the cowardly self in his heart, scolding him so that he was ashamed of himself, scolding him for thinking like a sin, and he understood that this was his self-regulating psychology, and he was redeeming himself.

But it was this that gave him the illusion that there were two souls in his body, one angry, desperate, broken, full of negativity, like a demon crawling out of hell; The other is calm, sensible, passionate, and bathed in the light of love and the hope of life, like a guardian angel.

In the past, angels had a firm upper hand, and demons only occasionally let out a few roars when angels were slack.

In the past two months, the demon has grown stronger and stronger, and is almost on the verge of defeating the angel and dragging him into the hell of Abi.

"If you continue like this, you have to become a nervous disorder, and this must be the case with a split personality." Jun Han sighed and said.

"Forget it, sleep! A sleep relieves a thousand sorrows! ”

Awake and suffering psychological torture all the time, it is better to sleep and not know anything.

It's just that recently, Jun Han has had some strange and similar dreams from time to time, and in the dreams he wanders around like a ghost, which is very strange! But after waking up, there was nothing abnormal, but there was always some backache in the body.

Jun Han shook his head helplessly, he estimated that it was because of his poor mental state that led to poor sleep quality, so he didn't think about it and didn't take it to heart.

Unplug your headphones, stand up, and walk towards the bathroom......

Standing in front of the mirror, looking at the increasingly thin body in the mirror, Jun Han had a strange feeling, as if the person in front of him was not himself, and the same delicate face was still so familiar, but the stubble that had not been processed for a long time because he didn't go out often looked a little decadent and pale...... Pale?

"No, when did my face become so pale?" Jun Han finally discovered something unusual.

His skin used to be quite white, but it wasn't so white, was it? It's bloodless! A sick look.

"Whew~" Jun Han exhaled, turned on the faucet, and flicked it in the direction of the hot water.

Continue to look at the pale face in the mirror, "Hey, I feel sorry for myself!" ”

After a while, wisps of heat rose.

With his hands under the gurgling hot water, a warm touch hit, Jun Han couldn't help but close his eyes and enjoy it quietly.

In fact, his body didn't feel cold, he just felt that this feeling was wonderful, and this warm touch seemed to make his lifeless heart beat more powerfully.

"Huh!"

Hold a puddle of water in both hands and stroke it over your face.

"Huh!" ...... "Whew! ...... "Huh!"

Jun Han kept repeating the water on his face.

After an unknown number of times, he looked up, and the mirror had been blurred by the vapor, and only one outline of his body could be seen.

An idea arose in his mind, and after some hesitation, Jun Han rushed to the shower pool, turned on the faucet, and then took off all his clothes, and drilled into the steaming shower head.

"Whew~ It's so comfortable."

The hot water flowed through every skin of the body, and the empty heart finally felt a touch of touch.

……