Chapter 10, cultivating immortals is difficult, Your Majesty is still super...
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Chapter 10, cultivating immortals is difficult, your majesty is still a person!
Under the endless bombardment of the Song people's mouths, the Jin army, which was choked by more than 100,000 tons of solid sounds, finally retreated from Mingjin under Bianliang City.
And our Guo Jing Guo Daxian people are enjoying the cheers of tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians, and at the same time they don't forget to cheer these guys up:
“…… Of course, we can't despise the Jurchens' combat effectiveness, but we can't look down on them, they are also born of their parents, flesh and blood, why are the Jurchens full of 10,000 and invincible in the world? If you are afraid of him from the bottom of your heart, you will lose. Knife to knife, gun to gun, real kung fu to see ability! There are no people in this world who can't be killed, it just depends on how to deal with them, even if it is the so-called Jurchen Iron Horseman, you are not completely untouchable......"
At the same time, Wang Qiu, Doraemon, and Nobi Nobita were busy counting the gains of this battle.
“…… Changed the course of the Bianliang East Watergate offensive and defensive battles to get 2oo reward points? This income is inevitably too rare! ”
Looking at the number of reward points obtained for the first time displayed on the [Book of Traveling], Wang Qiu couldn't help but feel a little headache.
According to such a reward standard, if you want to accumulate 50,000 points of "minimum departure standard", how long do you have to toss?
However, compared to the scarcity of reward point income, the income of the travelers in real money is quite considerable - after stuffing the valuable items collected along the way, such as mahogany furniture, huanghuali window frames, nanmu house beams, natural herbs, jade ornaments, and official kiln porcelain, into the automatic pawn machine, Doraemon once again received the latest income of 70 million yen. Coupled with the income from the previous demolition of the Tianqing Temple's host house and stuffing it into the automatic pawn machine, Doraemon's total income on the first day of the Northern Song Dynasty has reached 100 million yen!
Although it is still far from the total debt of 300 billion, it is finally a glimmer of hope for Doraemon to pay off the debt.
However, before Wang Qiu and the others could discuss how to continue to scrape the ground in Bianliang City in this time and space, and at least scrape together a huge sum of tens of billions of yen, a dusty eunuch Xiao Huangmen rushed to the small yellow gate, and brought the emperor's will to summon him.
――Of course, the meeting with the emperor is a matter for Guo Jing and Guo Daxian. Wang Qiu, Doraemon, and Nobi Nobita, as "entourage", did not have the honor of seeing Long Yan, and only waited in the side hall - in fact, with their status, it was not bad that they were not ordered to stay outside the palace gate to blow the cold wind.
Then, soon in the evening, it seemed that because of the good conversation, Guo Jing was retained by the emperor to enjoy the imperial meal together, and Wang Qiu and they also got a "working meal" provided by the palace in a small room that looked like a utility room or a porter.
-- First, a plate of cold dishes lined with salted red fruits. Then there are two meat and two vegetables: steamed mutton, soup bones, hemp curd chicken skin, and fake fried meat. The so-called fake fried pork is fried winter melon. The so-called hemp curd chicken skin is boiled into a paste with mung bean flour and sesame paste, and then frozen into a tofu-like shape...... Basically, similar to the fast food restaurants of later generations, they are all cheap food.
For these Song Dynasty dishes, Wang Qiu, a modern Chinese, is very uncomfortable - the dishes of the Northern Song Dynasty are very different from modern Chinese dishes, especially the plate of salted red fruits, Wang Qiu frowned and fiddled with the large salt particles in the plate for a long time, but did not dare to send it to his mouth: the Song Dynasty's heavy taste of food with salt and wine is really incredible to modern people.
On the other hand, Doraemon and Nobi Nobita tasted it with relish - although traditional Japanese cuisine is mainly raw and cold, and rarely cooked in hot oil, it is heavily salty, and the use of salt is almost lifeless. Even porridge and tea have to be sprinkled with salt......
Later generations said that "traditional Chinese culture in Japan and South Korea" also includes daily eating habits?
However, although the people of the Song Dynasty desperately put salt when making certain dishes, as if they didn't want money, in fact, the salt of the Song Dynasty was not cheap at all, and the folk even had a proverb of "unraveling the pond salt, Bai Shengxue, and a piece of salt is worth ten thousand dollars" - it is precisely because the price of salt is so high that the Song people put a lot of salt when eating vegetables has become a kind of expression of showing off their wealth, and the more expensive it is, the more they have to eat...... If possible, Wang Qiu felt that he could also try dumping salt to raise money, but at the moment, it seemed that it was easier to directly loot this kind of chaotic scene.
Also, since it was a "working meal", there was no alcohol on the table, only a small bucket of white slurry called "syrup...... This kind of thing called "syrup water" by the Song people is made of corn processing and fermentation, which has a bit of the taste of lactic acid drink, sweet and slightly acidic, which can be eaten and appetizing. It's a pity that the weather is freezing right now, and it's really not the season to drink cold drinks, Wang Qiu only drank two cups slightly, and then didn't dare to drink any more.
After barely eating a dinner that didn't suit the taste, the sky was already dark, Wang Qiu and the three of them had to sit around a candle and sit bored for a long time before Guo Jing and Guo Daxian came out of the emperor's side - not to take them back, but to find the machine qì cat for help!
“…… Pity the front seat in the middle of the night, don't ask the common people to ask the ghosts and gods......" Guo Jing smiled bitterly at them with a very ugly face, "...... As the saying goes, poor people must have something to hate, this Emperor Qinzong, who played the leading role in the shame of Jingkang, is really an out-and-out faint monarch! ”
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In fact, as soon as Guo Jing saw Emperor Zhao Huan of Qinzong today, he was taken aback -- at a glance, the Emperor of the Great Song Dynasty was already so thin that he was not human-shaped, his bloodless face was as pale as white paper, his cheekbones were high and bulging, his voice was hoarse, and his walking was even more swaying, like an addict who had been addicted to drugs for more than ten years, and like a terminally ill patient...... How did this emperor make himself look like this?
Thanks to a little eunuch, he quietly told him the details: "...... His Majesty has been cultivating too hard recently, and he often takes the elixir, and his body is very weak. ”
- It turned out that this emperor had taken too many pills and had poisoned himself with heavy metals!
In fact, this Emperor Zhao Huan, like his father Song Huizong, was not only happy to poetry, calligraphy and painting, but also addicted to cultivating immortal Taoism, and often took some elixir in order to live forever. However, the alchemy of these years is very unscientific, especially like to add toxic and harmful heavy metals such as mercury and lead powder to the elixir...... As a result, Zhao Huan was fine when he was the prince before, but when he ascended the throne on the verge of danger, under the invasion of the iron hooves of the Jin soldiers and the repeated defeats of the Song army, the psychological pressure was so great that it was indescribable, and he had nightmares day after month. In order to get a good night's sleep, he had to take pills again, and learn the style of famous scholars in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, taking Wushisan (a famous ancient drug, the effect is similar to opium, but it is much more expensive), and he tossed himself into this decay.
All in all, after seeing this sick, haggard, and energetic Song Emperor, Guo Jing immediately thought of an image - in the movie "The Destruction of the Reich", the Hitler who was trapped in a bunker at the end of World War II and watched Berlin fall!
But this is also a helpless thing, if you can't relieve the tension and depression in time, this emperor is afraid that he has gone crazy!
――Why are there so many emperors who are obsessed with the way of immortals? Because the emperor is an extremely challenging and high-risk profession, most emperors can live a peaceful life, and it is not bad to get a good life, but it is not ordinary to be a famous monarch and a saint! There are only a dozen famous monarchs in Chinese history, and there are countless mediocre lords, faint monarchs, and tyrants.
In a sense, the emperor is the freest man in the world, because there are no limits to his power; But from another point of view, the emperor is the most unfree person in the world, and the problem is also his unlimited power - for this reason, once anyone has the imperial power, he must not give it up lightly, and the fate of the vast majority of emperors after losing their authority is usually extremely miserable, even if they are seized by their own sons: the tragic fate of most emperors in history is enough to make anyone shudder!
Throughout the ages, all dynasties and elites from all walks of life in the world have been weighing, spying and calculating the emperor day and night. And every emperor must also tremble and be exhausted, fighting wits and courage with elites from all walks of life and even his own children and grandchildren all his life, and he cannot relax for a minute -- the people of the world are the slaves of the emperor, and the emperor is the slave of power. But even being a slave to power is better than being a dead man!
The endless anxiety for many years has made the emperors highly nervous all year round, and even the rumors and plants are all soldiers, showing a certain state of mental sub-health, so all kinds of very incredible perverts and absurd deeds abound in the noble emperors. For example, Gao Wei, the queen of the Northern Qi Dynasty, liked to play the beggar, Xiao Baojuan, the deposed emperor of the Southern Qi Dynasty, caught mice and slept lazily, the Wanli Emperor of the Ming Dynasty did not go to court for 20 years, the Hongwu Emperor killed heroes indiscriminately, the Jiajing Emperor was paranoid and stubborn, and the Emperor of the Apocalypse was addicted to carpenter work...... And so on, all because of mental illness.
In short, the emperor is under too much pressure and is often in a state of psychological sub-health, and if he is not careful, he may directly fall to the point of mental disorder. Those who are lucky enough to be able to numb themselves with wine in the harem, or place their affection on calligraphy, painting, song and dance and other arts; Those who were unlucky were those who wasted money and wasted money, killed ministers indiscriminately, shook the foundations of the imperial court, or worshipped religion -- there were no full-time psychiatrists in this era, and only Buddhist monks and Taoist celestial masters could make cameos to find ways to cure the emperor's mental illness...... As a result, objectively it has provided a huge market demand for "real people who protect the country" like Guo Jing, and it has also made the "demon way" and "demon monk" who interfered in the government of all dynasties have always been repeatedly banned.
So, the problem came out - the political commissar Guo Jing, who had crossed over, saw that he was being ordered to recruit "Liujia Divine Soldiers" to resist the Jin captives, so he naturally regarded himself as a military commander, but he did not expect that his own job was actually a "royal psychiatrist...... As a result, when the emperor summoned him to the palace, he actually only mentioned the war, but asked extremely eagerly about the cultivation of immortals and immortals, and he was a little confused.
Now that the city has been besieged by the golden soldiers, do you still want to "pity the front seat in the middle of the night, and don't ask the common people to ask the ghosts and gods"?
This Great Song Junchen is really a race to death, there is no limit!
Fortunately, there is someone behind Guo Jing's political commissar, and it is a very big and omnipotent Doraemon.
“…… Doraemon, I can only ask you for help in this matter, is there any way to make this emperor who is poisoned by heavy metals become an immortal? ”
After listening to Guo Jing's complaints, Wang Qiu decisively learned from Nobi's example and put his expectant eyes on the cat.
“…… It's hard to do...... [if the phone booth] can only make people jump to another parallel time and space, and it usually doesn't work in another world. [Lies come true] can make the emperor himself an immortal, yes, but the immortal templates pre-entered above are all white-bearded grandfathers, I heard that this emperor is only less than thirty years old, if he is so old all of a sudden...... This should be regarded as helping him cultivate immortals and live forever? Or is it death? ”
Doraemon said in anguish, "...... And [Lies Come True Mouth] has a time limit, and it would be good to be able to last for half a day. ”
“…… I know it's hard for you, Doraemon, but please come up with an idea. You must know that only a rich man like the emperor can afford the 300 billion debts you are carrying right now! Please, Doraemon! Wang Qiu continued.
“…… Then I'll think about it again...... Well...... Otherwise, let's fool around like this! ”
In view of the above reasons, Doraemon had to think about it for a while with a sad face, and finally took out a few magical props, "...... First use the [automatic medical kit] to treat this emperor, and in any case, he was cured of his heavy metal poisoning first. Then let him change into this human suit - the immortal suit of the future world will really not be able to take it out for a while, so let's use this human suit first! Anyway, I can fly ......."
……
So, when the civil and military ministers of the Great Song Dynasty entered the palace in the early morning of the next day, they saw a terrifying scene that was enough to make the blood pressure of the scholars soar: a group of eunuchs and palace maids gathered in front of the palace with their necks crossed, looking extremely nervous, pointing and shouting from time to time. Emperor Qinzong, who was only wearing a blue tights, a red cloak, and a pair of red underwear, was wearing this outfit that was both immoral and easy to catch a cold and flew around over the palace, and laughed happily: "...... Hehehehehe, I've become an immortal! I've become an immortal! ”
-- Obviously, even if he became a human being, the Emperor of the Great Song Dynasty had no intention of going out to pay a private visit to the micro-service, to act chivalrous and righteous, and to save the world. On the contrary, it caused sabotage in the palace: due to the temporary failure to adapt to the relationship of human power, the emperor was stunned and demolished a large hall.
As for the ministers and doctors in the Great Song Dynasty, after seeing this strangely dressed emperor, how messy they will feel in the wind, and what kind of moths will they make...... I'll skip that for now.
At the same time, Guo Jing, Guo Daxian, and Doraemon and other travelers also happily began to destroy the imperial gardens of the Northern Song Dynasty, or "demolished by order......