Chapter 61: The Collapse of the Middle Ages (Part II)

In addition to the pinnacle of the whole lobster filling and crab stuffing "stargazing pie" (it feels more like throwing live crabs and live lobsters into flour and rolling them, and then baking them directly in the stove), other dishes also made Wang Qiu, a Chinese who pays attention to eating and drinking, frown.

Since it is the cold winter moon when everything is dying, with the technical conditions of food preservation in the Middle Ages, there are basically no fruits and vegetables except for a small amount of onions. Moreover, the English aristocracy of the Middle Ages, who generally believed that vegetables were an inferior food for the untouchables (they relied on fruit for their vitamins), could not be used at banquets, so the table was almost exclusively a large feast of fish and meat—many piping hot grilled sausages were served on a wooden plate, which looked coarse, oily, and slightly burnt, but still made people feel very appetizing.

But the problem is that Wang Qiu cut it with his own knife, and now the sausage is filled with pig's blood instead of minced meat and fat: the official name of this thing is "blood sausage". If you take a bite, it will immediately be splashed with blood, the scene is very terrifying, but it is very popular with medieval European knights - the way medieval Europeans grill sausages seems to be the same as grilling steaks, and they also pay attention to roasting until they are medium-rare to medium-rare, and the outside is charred and the inside is tender, so the appearance of the sausage looks to be burnt, and the inside is still raw, and the pig's blood poured into it has basically not coagulated

Rao also sells pig blood in China's vegetable market, and Wang Qiu has also eaten pig blood tofu soup and Hokkien pig blood cake in restaurants in the past, and thinks the taste is acceptable, but it is still ripe. For this half-baked blood sausage, he can only retreat and be insensitive.

In addition, if the bread is not soaked in the disgusting pork offal soup (the internal organs are not cleaned), then the black bread will certainly need a pair of iron teeth and copper teeth to gnaw it, and the hardness of the white bread is similar to that of the hard cakes of later generations, and the top is still moldy, and the lower mouth must be picked and picked. And the pickled herring that was often eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages, if fried in oil, might taste good, like the fried stinky tofu in China, but these cooks in medieval England didn't do any cooking, and served the raw pickled herring with sliced raw onions, saying that it was to be eaten in bread - God, isn't that tantamount to abusing one's nose and testing one's teeth?

Therefore, the pickled herring that was distributed to Wang Qiu's dinner plate ended up all cheapening the fat cats meowing around under the table.

Then there is a dish of swan meat boiled with saffron and peaches, which tastes equally weird, making Wang Qiu feel that this is simply a waste of good ingredients.

Although Wang Qiu, who was sitting on the high platform, ate like chewing wax and was half-hungry, the Hogwarts students below were eating very happily and cheerfully, full of the "simple country fun" unique to medieval Europeans - look, there are constantly incredibly dirty fingers poking into half-cooked roast or stew, tearing off strips of meat and stuffing them in their mouths; Listen, there is a constant sound of belching and stinky farts exploding in the hall, celebrating the overload of the diners and bloating in the lower abdomen, and no one will ever think that this is rude, but is generally seen as a compliment to the sumptuous meal of the host, similar to applause celebration; There are also groups of happy grinning cats and dogs, constantly wandering around the dining table, swiftly snatching away the bones and internal organs that fall from the sky, like elusive and vigorous mobile swill buckets, which make the slaves who are also lying on the ground searching for minced meat feel ashamed......

What, why not use a knife and fork? Well, except for some of the most sophisticated Italians, Christians throughout Europe basically eat directly with their hands, and even in the upper social circles of the aristocracy, the spread of knives and forks will have to wait until the next century, let alone the lower classes...... However, now that the students of Hogwarts are in their fifth year, those high-ranking nobles and cultural people who can come to learn spells have already graduated, and the students sitting here at the moment are all low-status people such as small merchants, little priests and knights, so they are naturally not so gentle and sophisticated.

No way, the vast majority of Europeans in the Middle Ages were just such a bunch of unruly vulgar guys. And even in the 21st century, British drunks are notoriously violent, rude, and troublemaker...... Even more violent than the Russian hairy man who drank enough vodka

In the face of such a noisy and disgusting appearance, like a beggar's year-end dinner, in order not to ruin his remaining appetite, Wang Qiu had to bow his head and make a quanquan, while drinking a few sips of wine, while enjoying the only cereal porridge on the table that can still be eaten, and from time to time adding a few spoonfuls of honey to taste - these honey is the original natural and pollution-free green products, and it is definitely not a syrup-mixed fake of later generations: the sucrose that modern people are accustomed to is unheard of in medieval Europe. Sucrose, which originated in South and Southeast Asia, did not become the main source of sweeteners on the European table until the 6th century, with the opening of global trade during the Age of Discovery. Until then, small quantities of cane sugar from the Orient along the Silk Road were sold at high prices in pharmacies by Europeans, not as a condiment, but as a tonic, like ginseng

Although the Venetian merchants had sold a lot of cane sugar in addition to spices and cotton cloth when they had collected untouchables and dhoras from India, they bought whatever they saw cheaply, but out of habitual thinking, the Venetians still sold these sugars as medicines, and were absolutely reluctant to mix them with honey to falsify: in terms of actual prices, the price of cane sugar in the European market in those years was even more expensive than honey

But in the same way, the delicate desserts in Britain in later generations that were varied and colorful, enough to ⊥ little girls to light up their starry eyes (perhaps because the British like to drink afternoon tea, their tea pastries are really good, compared to their dark cuisine, it is simply a heaven and a earth), and there is no zài in this era, which makes Wang Qiu's meal even more unappetizing, and it feels like there is not even a bright spot.

It was at this time that she seemed to notice that the "Angel Lord" was not very satisfied with the dishes at the dinner, Joan. Plantagenet, the queen of England, mysteriously came over and told Wang Qiu, Ma Tong, Levi and others, who didn't know how to eat: The English chefs who were preparing for this feast had put together a very ingenious entertainment program based on the advice of several Italian court courtiers, hoping to please the angels......

Then, under the expectant gaze of everyone, the wooden door of the Hogwarts ballroom burst open, the band that got the signal played a cheerful flute, and the church choir children, who had been brought in to cheer up, sang a popular medieval nursery rhyme:

“…… Sing a sixpence song,

A whole bag of rye, twenty-four pigeons, baked into a pie,

When the pie is opened, the birds sing in unison,

What a delicate dish for the king......"

In the midst of the song, six jubilant chefs carried a huge pie on a wooden stand and slowly entered the long hall, and the students all stood up, cheered and clinked wine glasses. The giant pie is about a meter in diameter, and it looks golden brown in color and has a crunchy skin...... But that's not the point, the point is that inside the pie, there are bursts of birds screaming, fluttering and playing

This is another famous royal dish of medieval England: pigeon pie is a flock of live pigeons hidden in the empty crust of the pie in order to make the court nobles laugh...... By the way, this cake is still baked with minced pigeon meat

For the "creativity" of such a medieval British chef, Wang Qiu has already rolled his eyes and is powerless to complain......

“…… Oh my God, I don't want to eat something that is absolutely unhygienic, and God knows if these pigeons in the pie......"

Looking at the huge pigeon pie, "Paladin" Levi raised his glass and took a long sip of wine and muttered slightly drunkenly, "...... Well, I think it must have been. I've raised birds before, and I know that the self-control of birds is very poor, and they when they're a little nervous, and you seal so many live birds in pies, and these birds are frightened, and they will definitely and pull together non-stop, can this pie still be eaten? Not to mention bird poop, even if a few bird feathers are dropped in the pie, I feel very uncomfortable...... If it's for fun, why not just stuff a naked beauty in? Don't think I don't know, there are unscrupulous women staying in the Hogwarts dormitory every day......"

“…… Hey, are you talking about a living barbecue or a women's cake, Brother Levi, do you want to be a cannibal? ”

Wang Qiu, who was also a little drunk, rolled his eyes and sighed in response, "...... The taste of the former is too heavy, and I am not a legendary Tokyo ghoul, and Yaxing has never eaten human flesh; As for the latter, I seem to have seen this thing in some eighteen forbidden games, but I don't know if there is one in reality...... But that's okay, Brother Levi, you can find a woman to make your own cream, jam, chocolate bar, and canned cherries, and you can just take a picture of the cake and give me a picture......"

“…… It would have to bathe her ten times, shave her hair from head to toe, and finally have to go through a sausage and fasting - women in medieval Europe had a lot of body odor, and it was a hassle to get rid of it. Unless it's an underage Lori or a young girl, the body odor will be a little lighter. ”

Recently, taking advantage of his wife's absence, Comrade Li Wei, who wantonly hunted beautiful flowers and was extravagant, introduced Wang Qiu with great experience.

“…… Well, you can just make a loli cake anyway, with your 'paladin, title,,You can casually kidnap a bunch of beautiful loli from their fanatical mother.。 And you don't have a bad habit of pushing Lori while eating, do you?-Shizuka Jukawa warned me in bed that you must not eat while doing such intense exercise, otherwise it is easy to get indigestion and stomach problems......"

While the two men were chatting about something unhealthy and unorthodox, the entertainment in the ballroom continued—the chefs vacated a table, placed a huge pigeon pie on it, and made a "please cut" gesture. Slytherin Dean Boccaccio and Gryffindor Dean Joelic bowed to each other, and finally it was Joelic who came out on the back of the tiger, only to see the papal physician raise a two-handed greatsword that he had found out of nowhere, lean in front of the pigeon pie, gesture in a gesture, and then swung it down sharply, drawing a silver arc.

- At the same time as the pie crust broke, twenty-four pigeons rushed out with eagerness, flying in all directions, and finally flapping their wings and standing on the windows and beams, and the air was full of scattered feathers. The hall was filled with joy and music, and the musicians played light movements on harps and flutes.

Gryffindor Dean Joric reached out and raised his greasy, bird's feather, bird's droppings, sword in the air, and proudly flaunted it to the crowd. The servants in the dining room were busy cutting the pigeon pie into small slices, pouring seasoned cheese on them, and distributing them to the students who were already eager to eat at the table...... Just as Wang Qiu was pondering whether to reward his share of the pigeon pie to the servant or feed the cat, another even more terrifying scene appeared:

The door of the ballroom was once again pushed open from the outside, and eighteen cooks entered with three pigeon pies of the same size, but this time they could see that there were dove-filled pies even without the Dean of Gryffindor swinging his sword—the poor pigeons rushed out of the pie with their upper bodies, but their lower bodies were submerged in hard dough, some looking intact, some scorched and hairless, but they all stared at the ceiling with dead eyes......

Looking at these stunned "Angry Birds" poking at the pie, Wang Qiu, Li Wei and Ma Tong all had their brains crashed instantly.

What is this, God? A whole pigeon-stuffed king-size "stargazing pie"? That's really "creative".

How much do you like the idea of "stargazing sky", why don't you just poke a living Lori on it?

After half a ring, Wang Qiu came back to his senses and got up to ask Joan. Queen of Plantagenet, what's going on with the "stargazing pie" of the few pigeon stuffs in the back. Then, a middle-aged aristocratic attendant standing behind the queen explained in place of the somewhat stammering queen that the success rate could not be guaranteed because the chefs were trying and exploring the difficult craft of hiding live pigeons in pies. The three cakes that were brought up in the back were actually failed attempts by clumsy chefs...... However, although the live birds have been roasted to death, both the meat and the dough crust are still edible. It was the year of the cataclysm, and in order not to waste precious food (pigeons were still quite expensive in the Middle Ages), the chefs still sent these pigeon versions of the "stargazing pie" to the inferior people.

Well, judging by the poor craftsmanship of the British and their internationally renowned dark culinary traditions, it is quite good that an imaginative dish as a live bird pie can have a quarter success rate in the hands of a beginner English chef......

However, looking at these "Angry Birds" poking at the dough cakes, Wang Qiu still felt that his thinking had collapsed and his appetite was completely gone, so he had to push away the cups and plates, pause the meal, and prepare to go for a walk in the courtyard outside, breathe fresh air, and change his mood.

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