When I heard this, I thought that I didn't forget it, but I deliberately didn't want to pick it up, and I heard that writers are lazy. Chatting with this person, I always feel that he is like the kind of writer who is not very satisfied, which reminds me of a business I took over before, which was the old man surnamed Cui in Shenyang, who was very miserable, but he liked painting very much, and he also published a picture album at his own expense, Fang Gang could laugh every time he saw it. So, I asked him on the phone what the current situation is and what he wants.

"My surname is Lu, they all call me Mr. Lu, and I own a grocery store in Shanghai." The man said.

I thought to myself. Then he is completely different from Mr. Cui, Mr. Cui is a typical waste and poor ghost, and although this Mr. Lu is not a rich man, he is at least a small businessman. But why everyone calls him Mr. Lu, I don't understand, it should be Boss Lu.

Mr. Lu told me his story, and I was so drowsy that I regretted calling him in the middle of the night, and I should have asked again tomorrow. He is nothing more than how hard he works, but he has not made achievements and breakthroughs in his literary career, and he sees that many people can write, publish books, and become famous, and even those who write tomb robberies can become bestsellers, selling dozens or even millions of copies, while his and modern poems have been rejected countless times by countless publishing houses. I finally published a short poem with tofu cubes in the newspaper, less than 60 words, and gave 100 yuan for the manuscript, but I had to pay 200 yuan for the page fee, and I still lost 100 yuan.

Among the clients who consulted with me, they were roughly divided into the following categories: those who sought wealth, fame, fortune and popularity, which were the most; It's weird to hit the evil spirits. This is the least; Caught in a predicament and wanting to turn over, this kind of frequent encounter, now this Teacher Lu undoubtedly belongs to the first type. In my business, the largest volume of transactions is also like this, this kind of card is a license, the profit is not as high as the exorcism and the little ghost mountain spirit, but it supports 70% of my income.

I asked: "You just want to ask the Buddha card to make yourself a fortune, there are many Buddha cards for a prosperous career, see what price you can accept." "I'm still the same set of words.

"Boss Tian Qi, you may not understand my distress." Mr. Lu said, "I am a writer and poet, not a trader, yes, I want to become famous and publish best-selling books, but the most important thing is to be affirmed and recognized by people." Why do you think they can publish a book, but I can't? Those bestsellers are just like that in my eyes, and I didn't read a single book. Like "Wolf Totem", "White Deer Plain", "Ordinary World", yes, and what is the book called "Long Hate Song", it's really long, smelly and long! Such books can win the Mao Dun Literature Award, and everyone reads them, why can't my book? I'm obviously better than them! I think it must be those authors who are rich and powerful and buy their own awards, otherwise why can't they win a Nobel Prize in Literature for everyone to see? Cut, still not level! ”

Listened to Mr. Lu's words. I couldn't help but want to laugh. Although I don't know how to write, there is an old saying that "literati are inferior to each other", and this is especially evident in writers.

Teacher Lu said angrily: "There are also those crooked poems, under the banner of modern poetry. That's also called poetry? It is to line up the list of idle chats, one carriage entry for each sentence, or even five or six carriage returns for each sentence, who wouldn't do this? ”

Don't say it, I agree with that. Although I don't like pure literature, I have a classmate's wife who works in a pure literature and poetry journal called "Trend of Thought" in Shenyang, and she has a lot of sample magazines at home, which I have read, and I can read them as a collection of jokes. Those so-called Chinese "modern poems" really can't be understood by people like me, that is, ordinary words. Divide it into several paragraphs with a carriage return, and it is a poem.

Talking about this, I was already a little sleepy, so I said, "That's it, Mr. Lu, it's not early today." How about you sort out some of your own information and requirements, send them to my mailbox, and we'll talk about it tomorrow during the day, how about it? ”

It may be that Mr. Lu was cut off by me at the beginning of his life, and he felt very uncomfortable, and he said disappointedly: "Okay, then you give me the email address, and I will ask the proprietress of the hotel next door to help me send it tomorrow morning." I don't know how to use the internet, and I still have this old computer from the grocery store. I can only type, and I can't even watch movies. In the past, when I submitted articles to publishing houses, I bought a list of national publishing houses, and then went to the Internet café to ask the network manager to help me send mass emails. I thought to myself that this person was really not easy, so I sent him the QQ mailbox and hung up the phone.

I woke up the next morning and sat in the dining room, fried myself poached eggs and slices of bread, served with milk and bacon, and watched TV as I ate. At the same time, I was bored scrolling through my phone. I saw a text message from Mr. Lu, saying that he had sent all the information to my QQ mailbox and asked me to digest it as soon as possible, and he called me at one o'clock in the afternoon.

After breakfast, I sat in front of the computer, opened the QQ mailbox to receive the mail, and saw that there was indeed an email, which was sent by Mr. Lu. Good guy, worthy of being a writer, he actually wrote me a personal introduction of more than 10,000 words, and there were a few photos of himself in the attachment to the email. I probably flipped through the content of my personal introduction, and I didn't have much interest, it was nothing more than saying that I didn't meet a talent, and no one appreciated what I wrote, and that only "Dream of Red Mansions" could read the four famous novels, and everything else was rubbish.

It's all lackluster, but in the attachment, I saw a letter from him when he submitted a long article to the publishing house, and that's what struck me, and I haven't forgotten it until now. The specifics may not be as accurate. But the general meaning is correct:

"Comrades in the editors of your publishing house, I am Lu XX, China's most talented pure literary writer and modern poet, and now I submit to your society my long book, called "XXXXX" (among these five words, only the middle word I know, and the other four are rare words, don't say guess, I haven't even seen it, so I can't guess). This is a remarkable book, and it is also the result of my fifteen years of hard work. It's about half a million words. The book is all-encompassing, ancient and modern, and contains everything. It contains all the truths of humanity from birth to death, and is more profound than all the things in bookstores combined. When you see this book, it means that you want to become the most famous editor in China and the world, because when the book is released, it will sell 100 million copies, can you not become famous? Of course, my requirements are also relatively high, and when I sign the publishing contract, your publishing house will pay me an advance payment of 5 million yuan in advance, and I will not refund it if it is not published. In addition, if a female editor of your publishing house has read my manuscript and admires me very much, she can marry me, of course, I have to read her in person before she is satisfied. But she must be able to get a green card in Australia, because I like that country very much, and I hope that I can settle in the second half of my life, please get back to me as soon as possible, because this book is very popular, and many publishers are competing for it. Sincerely, Lu XX respects. ”

If those words of self-introduction can only prove that Mr. Lu is a cynical and empty-eyed person. After reading this submission letter, I can basically confirm that this teacher Lu is also a patient with mental paranoia. Want to sell 100 million copies and think you're writing the Bible? The most ridiculous thing is that I don't even know what to say to let a female editor get an Australian green card to be eligible to marry him. Ay. No, doesn't he have a wife......

Anyway, jokes are jokes, what should such a person's business do? I've taken on countless businesses before, and among so many customers, there are a lot of strange and superb, but at least I don't have mental illness, and now I have encountered them. It's really a lot of mountains and eventually encounters tigers, this teacher Lu is a typical tiger, of course, this tiger word is not a noun. In the Northeast, it's an adjective.

At one o'clock in the afternoon, Mr. Lu called me on time and asked me how the information was digested. I forced a smile: "Teacher Lu, your information is too substantial, I am uncomfortable now, and I can't digest it at all." ”

Unexpectedly, he took his sarcasm and ridicule of me completely seriously, and said seriously: "Boss Tian, the information must be very substantial, no matter how much you support, you have to digest it carefully, otherwise how can you have a comprehensive understanding of me?" How can you sell me the most suitable goods? ”