"Why am I so unlucky!" Ren Song can't remember how many times he has complained about God in his heart today

I remember that when my grandfather was alive in the past, he always liked to put a sentence on his lips: "It's better to die than to live." ”

But now that Ren Song is allowed to choose between a "dead man" and a "living shemale", this cowardly has a trace of fear for the word "alive".

Although he is not handsome, and his figure is not tall enough, he is also a pure man, thinking that he may become a sissy who is neither male nor female in the future, Ren Song felt goosebumps all over his body keep falling, and he shivered, and finally asked unwillingly: "Do you have to become a shemale to live?" ”

The beautiful lady in front of her chuckled, took over the conversation and said, "Become a shemale, that's a must!" ”

The voice is still pleasant, and the back is more graceful, but at this time, in the heart of this coward, it is extremely hideous.

"However, if you have a way to make up for the formalities in the underworld, you can still be a man again after returning to the yang!" The female judge continued. These words were like a ray of sunshine in the night, which made Ren Song instantly happy, and when he was happy, he almost forgot the injuries on his body, if Li could not hold him down in time, I was afraid that he would have fallen apart at this time.

Without waiting for him to ask, he carried the marching bed in front of him, and said nonsense that had not been silent: "Judge Chen is joking again, his current situation must be returned to Yang immediately in order to save the body." But if he really resurrected the world and became a man of the yang world, how could he return to the underworld to go through the formalities? Life and death are separated, far away in the sky......"

Before he finished speaking, he was interrupted by the beautiful judge and said, "That may not be ......" but he didn't say it anymore. After saying that, he glanced back at Ren Song, and then walked forward. When the others saw it, they hurriedly followed.

At this time, their group had arrived at the front yard of the City God Temple, compared to the desertion in the back, the front yard was extremely lively, the pavilion on the wall of the pit, the corridor on the top of the pit, full of ghost officials dressed in black. There was also a large group of dead souls, under the guidance of the shadows, lined up in a long line, and at the end of the procession was a small golden sedan chair, and the ghosts in the team entered the sedan chair one after another under the guidance of the ghosts, but no one came out.

The corridor in front of Judge Chen, who was walking in the front, happened to be blocked by the sedan chair, and the long queue behind the sedan chair was even more crowded, and he couldn't help frowning, wanting to say something, but in the end he endured it. He simply led everyone to take a detour from the corridor on the other side to the door.

When she was far away from the golden sedan chair, she heard Zhao Jie behind her ask, "Is that sedan chair a big man from the sky?" But I don't know which one it is? Judge Chen glanced at the sedan chair and said in a low tone: "I don't know the specific identity, it should be under the command of the Heaven Survey Spirit Officer." Because I went down to earth to have children privately, I was afraid of being known by others, so I made it so mysterious......"

Speaking of this, she became angry for some reason, and her tone became angry: "Speaking of which, you men will only do bad things, this guy created evil in the world more than 20 years ago and left a son. Who knew that the kid was too incompetent, and he actually braided himself and became a vain ghost. ”

"No wonder, in the past two days, you asked your brothers to find all the souls of the unjustly and vainly dead in the city, but it turned out to be like this!" The one-eyed dragon Zhao Jie suddenly realized at this time that although he also followed other ghosts during the day, because Judge Chen and Chenghuang were accompanying the big man, he didn't get the news, and he only knew that there was an order to arrest the ghosts of the two types of wronged and wronged, but he didn't know that he was looking for his son.

"A stupid pig! Even the stone lion at the door knows it, but you don't know it! The beautiful woman who walked in front shook her head and scolded with a smile: "Who is like you as a workaholic, as long as you have a job to do, you don't care about anything." ”

The two of them were talking and laughing in front, but the three behind them were uncomfortable, especially Hu and Li, who were not listening, nor were they listening. Walking on the road without embarrassment, it's not good to interject for a while. On the contrary, Ren Song, who was lying on the marching bed, was a little helpless, seeing the two in front of him flirting and scolding, Judge Chen was also a little less fierce and more soft at this time. Then he boldly said, "That...... Chen Juan ...... Sister ......"

As soon as he called out "Chen Judge", he saw the woman turn her head to look at him, although she didn't get angry, she still made this coward very scared, so he found a sister again, I remember that when I was a child, I was bullied by a few girls older than him in the yard, and every time I couldn't hold it up, I yelled at my sister to spare her life. Since then, whenever he encounters a woman of the same age who has a big temper and gets angry at him, he will call his sister, and most women will laugh it off except for a few people who care about their age.

At this time, this trick really worked, and Chen Juan also showed a smile on his face, shook his head and sighed: "This baby is too cowardly, I won't eat you, how can I be scared like this!" ”

"Foul language again!" As soon as she finished speaking, she heard the one-eyed dragon Zhao Tou'er complain: "Why are you getting more and more rude!" ”

"What's the ...... about this" Judge Chen replied indifferently: "Who called us Luozhong is an ancient city, the Qin and Han dynasties, the Three Kingdoms, the Jin Dynasty, the Tang, Song, Yuan, Ming and Qing dynasties, there are so many ghost officials in all dynasties and generations, and all of them are masters who are not soaked in oil and salt, if you don't scold a couple of sentences and beat a few sticks, who will take me seriously as a judge." After that, she turned her head to look at Ren Song and said, "If there is any, say it quickly!" I don't know what the judge bride suddenly thought, and for no reason she started a fire again, and asked angrily.

"What's wrong with this woman!" Looking at the beautiful judge who was suddenly in a bad mood, Ren Song was really distressed in his heart at this time, and he was afraid that he would annoy her if he said something wrong, so he had to ask with a forced smile: "That...... Is there any way to make the return of the yang ...... Can I still go to the City God Temple to go through the formalities? ”

"Where are there so many problems, just follow me honestly!" The judge's sister in front of her answered angrily, and led everyone out of the door.

When he got out of the gate, Ren Song found that it was the middle of the night, and there was no one on the street, but all kinds of ghosts and ghosts who came to report to Chenghuang came and went, and there was an endless stream.

"Judge Chen! It's all now, where are you going to be busy? The stone lion at the door had a very good look, and at a glance I could see the bride in a wedding dress coming out of the door, but she was really well dressed.

At this time, I saw the lion, the two front grabbed and shook in front of the chest, just like a gesture, and Chen Juan couldn't help but smile when he saw it, and patted it on the head and smiled: "There are some things to do, you take less, don't be too greedy." When the lion heard this, the puppy nodded his head, and the beautiful judge who provoked him smiled again.

The female judge put away her smile and walked quickly into the street, the snow-white veil behind her head dancing like a living thing. But I heard her say, "Keep up!" But it was already more than ten meters away, and the others hurriedly followed after hearing the words, and Na Bihu and Li Neng ran all the way, almost turning Ren Song's arm off several times.

Ren Song, who was lying on the marching bed, raised his eyes, but found that several people were heading in the direction of the Dongmen Bridge, and after crossing the bridge, it was the most prosperous East Street in Luo. At this time, everyone did not speak, but just followed Judge Chen.

Seeing that he was almost at the East Gate Bridge, Judge Chen swayed his long veil, but walked into a dilapidated theater on the left. A few others are just fine, but Ren Song is uneasy: "What are you doing in the Qin Theater?" ”

It turned out that this was the Qin Theater where the city Bangzi Troupe performed. In the 80s, when TV and movies were not popular, and there were few entertainment programs for the people, this Bangzi Troupe was popular for a while. In the 90s, it completely disappeared, most of the original actors dispersed, and the theater gradually fell into dilapidation.

The members of the troupe who originally lived in the family courtyard at the back have also slowly moved away, only one old lady has been living here and has never left, and the people nearby call her Aunt Jin, who used to play Cai Dan in the Bangzi Theater. However, Ren Song knows her, not because Aunt Jin can act, but because she can dance......

When he was a child, he was as weak and sick as the merry genius in the chapter back novel, he was out of breath after walking a few steps, and he ate more Chinese medicine than rice, but when the merry genius was seriously ill, he often spit out eternal quatrains and splendid articles. When he came to this great talent, he couldn't spit out anything except the slag of Chinese medicine.

Seeing that his only son has a tendency to die - Ren Song's mother is completely nervous, Luozhong, the provincial capital, and Beijing's major hospitals have run all over, but they can't find out the cause, and they can only come back after a circle, Chinese medicine is slightly better, Western medicine is completely ineffective, and it can't be cured at all, and even the doctor can't even tell what disease is, which is also the reason why Western medicine is ineffective, Chinese medicine can't tell what disease is, but it can still prescribe some medicine to regulate yin and yang, clear the heart and calm the nerves. Western medicine is completely numb.

Just when his mother was about to die, he heard that Aunt Jin was very effective, so according to the neighbor's words, she went to the grocery store diagonally opposite to buy two catties of wax, five handfuls of incense, and three bundles of yellow mounting, and begged Aunt Jin to treat Ren Song. The old woman was also happy, as soon as the things were collected, she began to light incense and candles to invite God, woo la la sang all the time, claiming to be the stove god of the Ren family, saying that this kid was sick, one is that the family is not for the stove god, all no one blesses, and said that Ren Song is a boy in the sky who surveys the heavens and sits down, and he should not live in the world, how how!

When my mother heard this, she cried, kowtowed and made a gesture, just begging for the guidance of the Lord of the Stove to keep her son, and Aunt Jin was yelling and singing all the time, saying a lot of conditions, and now most of them can't remember, only remember to have a live rooster as a mount, and a pair of paper-tied boys and women as slaves, the only thing Ren Song doesn't understand is that his ancestors are not from Guanzhong, nor are they relatives in Guanzhong, why does the Lord of the Stove at home like to roar at Qin so much? But at that time, he didn't have the courage or the qualifications to ask this kind of question that was definitely waiting to be beaten.

Finally, the conditions were raised, and the king of the stove spoke again, the incense and candles that my mother bought were not enough, and I would make up two catties tomorrow, and then I returned to my place and left after I finished speaking. God has returned to his place, but people have made it difficult, my mother thought about it for a long time and didn't understand, it's no problem to buy two catties of wax, this incense is about selling, mounting is sold according to bundles, how can two catties be bought? In the end, it was Aunt Jin who explained that Xiang bought two handfuls and framed two bundles, as long as they brought two words, although the bundle weighed five pounds.

Although Ren Song heard from a classmate with whom he had a good relationship, the son of the grocery store owner opposite, that his father called Aunt Jin Grandma Auntie. told his mother about this, but his mother still believed it very much, and warned Ren Song not to talk nonsense. Since then, my mother not only offered the god of the stove in the kitchen, but also specially invited the statue of Zhang Xuntian Lingguan in the living room in the living room. In the future, he would sacrifice to the king of the stove before three meals every day, and he would often stand in front of the portrait of the spiritual officer who surveyed the heavens and talk to himself, and sometimes begged the spiritual officer to return his son.

After that, because of this cowardly illness, my mother went to Aunt Jin's house more diligently, and the old woman's official position became bigger and bigger, from the Lord of the Stove, the Lord of the Land, to the Four Heavenly Kings, the True Monarch of the Demons, and finally even the Heavenly Survey Spiritual Officer came out. Ren Song repeatedly said that it was an old liar, but his mother just didn't believe it. Until one day, my mother suddenly said that she would not go to Aunt Jin's to send money in the future, and the old woman was full of nonsense, and even dared to pretend to be a god, and she never went again.

After so many years, the family home is basically no one except for the old liar Aunt and Grandma Jin.

Seeing that Judge Chen took them into the family courtyard of the Qin Opera Troupe, Ren Song was puzzled? Could it be that this judge's sister wants to take them to find that old liar who is open-mouthed, and he suddenly remembered the conversation between this wedding dress judge and one-eyed Zhao Tou'er, as if he wanted to find a psychic medium to help prevent the cremation of his body, wouldn't it be to find that Aunt Jin?

Thinking that the old woman could only deceive people, Ren Song's heart became uneasy, and he shouted on the marching bed: "Wait, Sister Judge, Aunt Jin is a liar!" The beautiful woman dressed as a bride glanced at this cowardly in some surprise and asked strangely: "Huh! How do you recognize her? Over there, Zhao Jie chuckled, and then said: "You, what a horse, haven't you read his information, his family lives in Dongguan, how can you not recognize this old woman......

"Oh?" Hearing this, Judge Chen walked to the marching bed and looked at Ren Song for a while, as if he was thinking about something, but finally shook his head. Chong Ren Song glared and said: "I have my own sense of whether she is a liar or not, let me ask you first, are you willing to be a ladyboy?" ”

Hearing this, the covert hurriedly replied: "Of course not! After saying that, seeing that there was no unswerving look on the face of the Chen judge, he asked pitifully: "That...... Sister, after returning to the yang, is there a way not to be a ladyboy? ”

"Of course there is, but at a cost!"

Hearing this, Ren Song did not hesitate at all, and responded: "As long as you don't be a ladyboy, you can pay any price!" ”

"Okay!" The beautiful judge in front of her stretched out her hand and teased the bangs that were blocking her eyes, turned her head and said with a smile: "The price is not high, be the soul messenger of my Yin Division, and work for me for the rest of my life!" ”