I only remember that I took the train for three days and three nights, and finally returned to Ganzhou from Shanxi.

I thought that I would never return to this city in my life, I thought that I would not dare to return here, because there are too many memories here, there are too many things that I am afraid to remember, afraid to hear, and afraid to see, but what I didn't expect is that in the end, in order to understand the doubts in my happiness, in order to find out the whereabouts of Gujing Lake, I finally came back, and returned to this city that left me with too many memories and was sad and helpless.

Walking on the streets of the city of Ganzhou, my heart is full of sourness, and this feeling is indescribable. It makes me feel warm, reminds me of the past, and reminds me of a lot of helpless sadness.

I don't know when, a song by Li Zongsheng "Once Upon a Time Like the Wind" was put in a nearby store, and the lyrics sang:

The past was like a dream, touching my heart gently

In the past, I couldn't understand how the road of life could be so difficult

In the road I have walked, there are laughter and tears, and the ups and downs of half a life have added joy and sorrow

You see that time is like the wind, leaving no trace to send the years gently, and you don't care if you live in applause

I just want my heart to communicate with you, look back at the past, and see the feelings that seem like chaos

It seems that I am drifting away, and I have repeatedly confided in my old feelings by my side

Even if I have been lost, I don't want to change the past, because all the old things are imprinted on me now

You and I are so similar, pouring out joys and sorrows with singing, even if there are hardships, every bit is in plain sight

Please see that time is like the wind, telling us that life is too rushed

I don't care if I live in applause, I hope that my heart will be relaxed from now on and wander in the years

……

Listening to this song "Once Upon a Time Like the Wind" in my ears, it was like singing about what was in my heart, and the bits and pieces I had experienced in the city of Ganzhou were like this song "Once Upon a Time Like the Wind", which I remembered in my mind......

I think of Yang Qing, and I think of the bits and pieces with her, joys and sorrows; reminds me of Chen Xianyi, who has gone through many difficulties together. All these old things are imprinted in my heart, and I have not forgotten them in the past three or four years, but I dare not look back.

Listening and listening, my eyes were unconsciously clouded and tears welled up in my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have been here, I knew I shouldn't have looked back on the past, because the joy and tears didn't belong to me, I was just a lonely person, maybe for the rest of my life.

Retracting my thoughts and wiping away my tears, I hurried off the street, so that the song "Once Upon a Time Like the Wind" no longer reminded me of any of the past.

The city of Ganzhou is not very big, so I walked around the city aimlessly, around and around, and finally looked up and found that I had unconsciously come to a familiar place, that is, Chen Xianyi's shop Fude Hall!

Although more than four years have passed, Fude Hall is still the same as it was at the beginning, and it has not changed at all. There is still a wreath paper figure at the door, and a piece of red paper is still pasted on the wreath, and the red paper still reads "Buy one get one free, big sale at a loss".

The door of the store was open, and there was a person sitting behind the long table inside, looking down at a book, this person was none other than Chen Xianyi, a senior brother he hadn't seen for many years.

Touched inexplicably in his heart, he opened his mouth slightly and wanted to call him "senior brother". But in the end, I didn't shout out for some reason, maybe because I didn't say goodbye at the beginning, I was afraid that he would be angry with me, or maybe because I was afraid of disturbing their peaceful life.

Today's Chen Xianyi has obviously changed his fate, he and Fei Sanniang may already have children, right?

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but sigh in my heart, forget it, or not break their tranquility, because I am a bad star, a plague god, and I don't want people to be hurt anymore.

However, when I was about to leave and looked up at him for the last time, I was surprised to find that Chen Xianyi had already stood in front of me at some point, standing at the door of the store and looking at me quietly......

The four looked at each other and were silent for a long time, and both of them couldn't help but burst into tears. I don't know why he burst into tears, I just know that this moment is like a reunion of relatives, and I can't help but feel pantothenic acid, I haven't seen him for many years, is he okay?

"Senior Brother......

I finally called.

Chen Xianyi didn't answer me, nor did he scold me for saying goodbye as I imagined, but when I called, he hugged me.

Men may be so direct, between men, maybe they don't say too much about missing and numbness! And just like that, we hugged for a while, and he just said, "It's back, why don't you come in?" Don't you think of me as a senior brother? ”

I smiled slightly, now he is not a senior brother to me, but a relative. Because in this world, I only have two relatives, one is my grandfather and the other is him, and he is the only person I can see.

I followed him into the shop, sat on a chair, made me tea, and asked me where I had been all these years.

I said I went back to my hometown. He nodded in some surprise, and said with some disbelief: "You have been hiding at home for four or five years? ”

"No, let yourself be quiet at home for a year or two, and then run the rivers and lakes for three years." Speaking of this, I smiled wryly.

These words may not be heard by others, but they may also think that running around the rivers and lakes will be quite interesting. Only Chen Xianyi heard this, and his eyes were full of pity when he looked at me, because he was the only one who understood how bitter it was to walk the rivers and lakes alone. The sky is the quilt, the earth is the bed, the food and the wind sleep, and those who have not experienced it will not understand the suffering at all.

Chen Xianyi is much calmer now than he was at the beginning, not as flamboyant as before. He said: "Why don't you call me when you run the rivers and lakes alone, it's really boring for me to stay alone in this small shop." ”

I said, "Why didn't you ask me why I didn't say goodbye in the first place?" ”

"Do you want to ask?" Chen Xianyi glanced at me, and then said, "Although I don't know why you suddenly disappeared, but you chose to leave when you were about to marry Yang Qing, I think it must be because you are afraid of hurting Yang Qing." ”

Looking at him, I felt that my senior brother knew me best, so I nodded: "Yes, because my fate hasn't changed yet!" Then, I told the story of the black and white impermanence that wanted to detain Yang Qing at the beginning.

After Chen Xianyi listened, he couldn't help but sigh, saying that this was really a trick, and he couldn't help but point at God and scold.

In the end, he was also tired of scolding, so he asked me, have you ever been to Xuantang when you come back this time?

As soon as I heard Xuantang, my heart trembled, and then I shook my head and said, "Maybe she still hates me, and I don't dare to interfere with her life, I should let her live a peaceful life." ”

Unexpectedly, Chen Xianyi smiled bitterly and shook his head. I asked him what was wrong and what he was laughing at? But he said, "You are wrong! ”

"Am I wrong?"

"Yes, you are wrong. She doesn't hate you, she doesn't blame you, she has been looking for you everywhere for the past few years, waiting for you. Because she came to me, I told him that you may have left because of fate, in order to protect her. Chen Xianyi said.

Hearing this, my originally cold heart suddenly became eager, and it jumped with a bang! Originally, I was already dead, but now when I heard this, I was stunned for a moment, I never thought that she would still be waiting for me, and she would be looking for me everywhere. Four years have passed, why is she still willing to wait for me?

I don't know whether I am sad or excited at this time, in short, my heart is very complicated. Because all of this is beyond my expectations.

At this time, Chen Xianyi said to me, you should go and meet her.

I didn't speak, because I didn't know what to answer, and I thought to myself: Do you really want to see her?

Silent......

Later, Chen Xianyi said to me with a smile, telling me not to think too much about it first, and to live in his house first when I come back this time. I asked him what about Fei Sanniang? He laughed and said that Fei Sanniang was taking care of the children at home, and he told me very happily that he is now a father and the children are three years old.

Hearing this, I was also extremely happy for him, yes, his fate has changed, and he has a complete fate, which is really good.

On the same day, he closed the door of Fude Hall early and took me back to his house to see Fei Sanniang and my little nephew.

Fei Sanniang was also very surprised by my appearance, everyone is also an acquaintance, and now they are relatives, so naturally they don't stop asking about everything, asking me where I have been all these years, and urging me to see Yang Qing, saying that she is very pitiful, and she is asking about me alone, and said that she went to Chenjia Village, Jiangxi Province to find me last year, but she didn't see me.

Hearing this, my heart was even more confused, I have been running north and south in the past three years, how could she find me?

On that day, I stayed at Chen Xianyi's house. At night, when the child was asleep, the three of us adults sat in the living room, and Chen Xianyi asked me if there must be something wrong with coming back this time, right?

I nodded, and then asked, "Senior brother, have you heard of the Yin and Yang Zhang family in Ganzhou?" ”