It was as dark as a gloom.

Knowing that there was only darkness around me, I accepted that I was dead.

Floating on the sea without light and sound. Unadorned, the figure called the Two Rituals gradually sank.

There is no end point. No, maybe it wasn't falling from the beginning.

Because here, nothing.

Not only is there no light, but there is no darkness. Because there is nothing, nothing can be seen. There is no meaning even to fall.

Even if there is no such word, I'm afraid it doesn't exist.

In the futility of even description, only my body is sinking. ** I, dyed with colorful colors that make people can't help but turn their eyes. Because everything that 'exists' here is full of malice.

‘… That's it, death. ‘

Even the murmuring sound was like a dream.

It's just that I'm observing something like time. Even though time doesn't even exist in '', I can observe it.

It's as natural as it flows, it's as ugly as [***], and all I can count is time.

Nothing.

Even though I kept staring into the distance, I couldn't see anything.

I waited for something and waited for it, but I couldn't see anything.

It's very smooth and very satisfying.

No... Because all meaning does not exist, 'being' alone is sufficient here.

Here is death.

A world that only the dead can reach. A world that cannot be observed by the living.

Actually, I'm the only one alive here...

Seemingly, I'm going crazy.

For two years, I have been exposed to the concept of 'death' here.

It was more of a battle than an observation, I think

In the morning, the hospital suddenly became noisy.

The footsteps of nurses in the hallway and the cacophony of patients getting out of bed kept coming. Compared to the tranquility of the night, the hectic morning is more like a festival.

For me, who had just woken up, the voices were too loud.

Luckily, I was in a single room. Although it was noisy outside, it was quiet in this small box, so I could still calm down.

Soon after, the doctor came to see him.

'How does it feel, Miss Liangyi. ‘

‘… Ahh ‘

The doctor seemed to be embarrassed by my emotionless answer.

‘…… Is it. But it looks a little more stable than last night. Supposedly, your current situation should not be easy. Please feel free to contact me if you don't feel well. ‘

I only replied with silence to the doctor's words. Because I'm not interested in that kind of thing that is taken for granted.

But he seems to be mistaken.

So, let me explain it briefly. Today is June 14, 1998. You... Two years ago, in the middle of the night on March 5, the two ceremonies were taken to our hospital due to a traffic accident. It is a collision with a car at a pedestrian crossing. Got an impression? ‘

‘……‘

I didn't answer. … I don't know that kind of thing.

The last image that could be taken out of the drawer called memory was the figure of a classmate standing in the rain. As for why I had an accident, I don't have any impression of this kind of thing.

'Ah, there's no need to be upset even if you can't remember.

Miss Liangyi seemed to sense the danger at the moment of collision with the car and jumped away a small step. So I was lucky that I didn't get too badly injured physically.

However, it was a strong blow to the head. Although he was in a comatose state when he was transported to the hospital, his brain did not appear to be harmed. So I can't recall the past, maybe it's just a temporary confusion caused by two years of lethargy. Judging from last night's examination, the brainwave did not find anything abnormal.

In short, it cannot be said that it will gradually get better. After all, there is no precedent for waking up from a coma. ‘

Even if I talk about how it has been in the past two years, I don't feel it at all. For the two rituals that have been asleep, the void is closer to 'nothing'.

The events of the rainy night two years ago seemed to the two ceremonies to be no different from yesterday.

However, this is not the case for me.

For me now, yesterday was the real 'nothing'.

Also, the injuries to the eyes are not serious. The damage to the eyeball caused by a blunt force is quite light. Last night, luckily you didn't have a knife with you. No, the eyes were bandaged right away. If you want to see the scenery outside, please bear with me for another week or so. ‘

The doctor's words were somewhat reproachful.

He was confused by the fact that I hurt his eyes. He asked me last night why I did that, but I didn't answer him.

From today onwards, there will be physical rehabilitation exercises every morning and afternoon. Please limit your family meetings to an hour per day. If you can achieve a balance between your body and mind, you can be discharged immediately. Until then, it will be very hard to clear up and be patient. ‘

I was disappointed by the expected lines.

I didn't bother to say something sarcastic, I tried to move my right hand

…… The body doesn't seem to be its own thing. It takes time to move, and the joints and muscles feel like they're about to crack.

It hasn't been touched at all for two years, and that's of course.

So that's it for this morning. Miss Shi seemed to be calm, so the nurse would not come to take care of the bed. If there's anything going on, just ring the bell there. There is a nurse on duty next door. Please don't worry about even the smallest things. ‘

Very mild tone.

If I could see with my eyes, I would have seen the smiling face of the doctor.

The doctor who turned to leave left a sentence as if he had suddenly remembered.

'Ahh There will be a life counselor to take care of you from tomorrow. It's a female surname about the same age as Miss Liangyi, so please relax and talk. Because what is missing for you right now is communication. ‘

And just like that, I was alone again.

Lying down on the hospital bed, I held my head and closed my eyes, and I was there in a trance.

'My name...'

Dry lips, asked.

'Two rituals, formula. ‘

However, that person is not here.

Because two years of nothingness have killed me.

All the memories that have come to life as two rituals can be vividly recalled. But so what. What is the memory of me who died once and was resurrected?

The gap of the past two years has completely severed the connection between the former me and the current me.

I'm obviously two ceremonies, not anyone other than the Shiri, but... I don't have any real sense of my own memories of the past.

I just watched the life of the man named the Two Rituals like watching a movie. I don't think it's myself who appeared in that movie.

It's exactly like a ghost in a movie. ‘

Biting his lip.

I don't understand myself.

Even if he really had two ceremonies, he didn't dare to say for sure.

I couldn't help but think that I was someone who didn't know who I really was.

The body was as empty as a cave. Not only the air, but also the wind seems to be able to pass through.

I don't know why, but it seems like there's a big hole in my chest.

It was extremely unsettling... Extremely intense loneliness.

The piece missing from the puzzle is the heart. I can't bear that gap.

It's so empty that you can't even find a reason to live.

'That's... What the hell is going on, formula. ‘

Although he asked, he couldn't solve it.

For such an incredible thing... I couldn't help but tear at the restlessness and anxiety in my chest, but I didn't feel the pain or sadness at all.

There is anxiety, and there is pain.

But that's the relationship between the two ceremonies.

I don't feel it. Even after resurrecting from two years of death, there is no interest.

It's just that there's no purpose here.

I'm alive, and I'm in a state where I don't feel the slightest sense of reality

The next day came.

Even when I can't see the light, I can feel the arrival of the morning, which is really a trivial discovery.

I felt quite joy in this indifferent little thing. Just as I was thinking about why I was so happy, the examination began and ended inadvertently.

The morning was not quiet.

My mother and brother came to visit me and talked for a while.

It's like a stranger, and it's impossible to grasp the conversation. I had no choice but to deal with it according to my memory, so that my mother could go back with peace of mind.

It's like acting, and it's funny from beginning to end.

In the afternoon, the life counselor came.

Probably a female surname of a speech therapist and the like, extremely cheerful.

'Hey, okay?' ‘

I've never heard of a doctor who says hello like this.

'Hey. I thought you would be very haggard, but I didn't expect your skin to shine so well. When I first heard about you, I thought it was a ghostly person under the willow, and I couldn't get interested at all. Well, I'm lucky to be the kind of cute girl I like. ‘

Judging by her voice, she looked like a woman in her late twenties, who sat down on a chair next to my bed.

'First meeting. I'm a speech therapist who helps you with aphasia. I'm not from here, so I don't have identification, but since you can't see with your eyes, it doesn't matter. ‘

‘… Aphasia or something, who do you mean? ‘

Without hesitation, the female doctor nodded her head in a hmm-hmming voice.

Also, it's common to get angry when someone says that. Aphasia is not a good image, let alone a misdiagnosis. The Lu family is the kind of person who sticks to books, and he is not very good at special cases like yours. However, you also have a responsibility. If it weren't for the trouble and didn't speak, there wouldn't have been this misunderstanding. ‘

As if intimate, the female surname laughed.

… Maybe it's all bias. I think the woman's surname must have been a person with glasses.

Is it considered aphasia? ‘

'Yes. You've been in an accident and injured your brain. There will be questions such as broken speech circuits. But that's a misdiagnosis. You don't speak, not physically, but mentally, right? So it's not aphasia, it's speechlessness. In that case, I wouldn't have a job, and it's not a good thing I'll be out of work in less than a minute. It just so happens that I'm not very busy in my own job, so I'll spend a little more time with you. ‘

…… Superfluous care.

I reached for the electric bell that called the nurse.

Suddenly, the female doctor quickly snatched the electric bell from my hand.

‘… You guy. ‘

'It's dangerous, it's dangerous. If I let the Lu family know what I just said, I will leave immediately. Is there anything bad about being considered aphasia? Wouldn't that leave you with boring questions, you know? ‘

…… And that's exactly what it says. But what kind of guy is a person who can say so bluntly?

I turned my bandaged eyes to the unidentified female doctor. (To be continued.) )