The fat man obediently said: "Of course I am filial to you, our brothers have a bad prostate, so avoid spicy taste." ”

"Oh, honor me? Why don't you burn that one who honors me, so how can I eat it, can I take a look? Uncle Li was furious.

"You said it was for stuttering, are you so angry?" Originally, I didn't want to squeeze Uncle Li in person, but when I thought about it, he found out that he had a black belly in his stomach anyway, so it was better to say it happily.

"Less nonsense, hurry up and set a fire and burn. By the way, the fire must be big, I like to eat stir-fried and slightly mushy flavors. "Uncle Li didn't pay attention to me, just urged us to hurry up and burn that plate of spicy lungs, like a child who was impatient.

The fat man and I found an aluminum basin, poured the spicy lungs into it, and then went to 60 degrees of liquor, a little fire, and it crackled. After a while, the smell of burnt mushy in the lungs and the spicy smoke that choked the nose rose up, making Uncle Li so beautiful that he "feasted" in the smoke.

Pity me and the fat man were choked with snot and tears, as if we were being tortured.

Not to mention that Uncle Li was eating happily, I suddenly heard someone slamming the door, I opened the door and saw that it was Brother Liu, the neighbor who was at the door.

"Gaha, you are, the whole corridor is full of mushy smell, and I thought your house was on fire." Brother Liu looked in.

I was startled and saw Uncle Li smiling and waving at me, meaning he couldn't see me. Only then did I put my mind at ease and hurriedly laughed: "Ah, it's okay, it's cold, burn the kang, and smoke it." ”

Brother Liu looked at the room and looked at me with a strange expression: "You're not sick, just in the autumn, what kind of kang did you burn." Is. Alas, no, what are you, this is a building, where did the kang come from, you are stupid to me. ”

"Hehe, you're a traitor, I can't fool you, it's okay, go back, ah." I hehe, I pushed Brother Liu home with a question mark on his face, closed the door, and looked at Uncle Li, who was still "eating", and smiled helplessly, this life is too sad.

It was easy to survive until more than 11 o'clock in the evening, Uncle Li looked at me and the fat man, who were already yawning, and said gloomily: "Second master, let's go, the time has come." ”

Just this sentence, the fat man and I were trembling all over at that time, and there was no sleepiness at all: I wiped, Uncle Li's voice was too professional, and it felt absolutely Tong Suo's undeceived soul hook, who was not confused?

"Master, master, discuss something, hehe, hehe." The fat man looked at Uncle Li with a twisted smile on his face, and laughed so hard that I wanted to pee, cold, "Master, you see that the sunset is dark in the western mountains, and the fifteenth moon has also climbed into the sky, so what, are you old man wandering by himself?" ”

Hey, this fat man is afraid of Uncle Li, this is a polite rejection of Uncle Li. Looking at the fat man who was quite uncomfortable, I couldn't help but feel sympathy, you think, it is difficult to make a good man who weighs 180 pounds and doesn't look down when he sees a real hooligan, it seems that the taste of this ghost is really bad.

"Fuck, if it weren't for the last resort, you think I'd be willing to get on you, it smells of mutton, I said you can't take a fucking bath often." Uncle Li glanced at the fat man, looking sour that I don't like to care about you.

Seeing that Uncle Li rolled his eyes and rolled himself, the fat man pretended to be deaf and dumb, and he couldn't see it, which made Uncle Li so angry that he didn't have a trick. Actually, if it were me, I would have to do the same, as long as I didn't get caught by that old god's stick, I would be blinded, and I wouldn't be blinded anyway.

Seeing that I was having fun on the side, Uncle Li found a place to vent his anger: "What are you kid, hehe, it's your turn, okay, I'll get on you tonight, ah." ”

I immediately changed from laughing to crying: "Master, master, you are doing well, no, with my ultra-thin LCD body, do you think you can put our two masters aside, right?" Besides, my gums love to bleed, and I really want to swallow my teeth and bones, and I can't hurt you. ”

After saying this, the fat man gave me a thumbs up: "Awesome, even Colgate toothpaste has been made, you are infinitely creative." By the way, if you continue to make it, maybe you can make it out of women's inflammation and cleanness, and it will be healthier to wash and wash. "I'm overjoyed after the fat man's run.

", calf, if you get to the again, I'll make your farmer's spring a little hanging." I hated and scolded continuously, and said in my heart that this dead girl was born to coax the goods of the seedlings together, and it was gone.

"Okay, I can see it, just the two of you, I can't count on one." Uncle Li made a heartbroken gesture that he entrusted to the non-human, "That's it, it's better for my old man to invite you to take a ride back to the hitchhiker, and see, you have to be a teacher, regardless of previous suspicions, you all learn a little." ”

Yo ho, Uncle Li, who has always gone out and doesn't pick up money, even if he loses it, actually wants to take a taxi? No, don't fool us, it's not the first time you've been slammed by you, now you're talking brightly, but if you don't pay us for the car for a while. Besides, as far as your paper money is concerned, the driver has no place to use it after receiving it.

Five minutes later, we learned that Uncle Li was really a righteous ghost who did what he said, and this time his old man did not let us pay for the car, but we did not take a taxi, but were taken to the sewer by this old god.

It turns out that this dead old ghost used the technique of fertilization to suppress our three-flavor true fire (the fat man is more trouble-free, he only has two flavors of true fire on his left and right shoulders), making us a copycat ghost who can cover up the ghost's ears. In this way, his old man can take us on the so-called Huangquan Road, that is, the sewer, you say this is not noisy.

It is said that Uncle Li led our brothers and us to inspect several sewers in the community, and then pointed to one of the manhole covers and said, "Go down here, this is a shortcut." ”

The two of us pinched our noses: "Master, let's take a taxi, okay." ”

"Less nonsense, sloppy." Uncle Li's old face is flat, and there is no room for accommodation at all.

There was no way, the fat man and I could only pull off the dead manhole cover with great effort. As soon as I lifted the lid, hey, that taste, I didn't want to eat stinky tofu for three years.

However, we forgot one thing, in the dead of night, two young men (outsiders can't see Uncle Li's ghost) are touching the manhole cover in a circle, can this not arouse suspicion?

Sure enough, Uncle Li was looking hard in the sewer, and several old men and old ladies led the two security guards over, pointing at me and the fat man: "Just these two boys, they have been wandering around our community for a long time, and they must not have been in the water (Northeast dialect: I didn't have a good idea), and I want to steal the manhole cover." ”

We know the two security guards, the one in his 40s surnamed Zhang, and the one in his 20s surnamed Huang, are not good birds, they belong to the third in the ranks of bastards. Relying on a little relationship to mix up a security guard in the community, and from time to time on weekdays, he also holds some residents' property, which is quite annoying.

It seems that these two guys are very excited. Also, the long night is long, relying on the security guard's salary to buy alcohol without getting drunk, prostitution is not costly, just catch two thieves who steal manhole covers, you can be tried for entertainment and then sent to the police station. Therefore, the two of them met with us, and without saying a word, they came up to play elbow and arm with us.

The Huang security guard was young and went straight to the fat man's stubble, but with the fat man's 180-pound physique, he was enough for the Huang security guard to snort for a while, not to mention that if he didn't move, how could it be the style of a fat man who even a real hooligan dared to cut.

saw the fat man turn sideways, the yellow security guard pounced, and was trying to stabilize his body, the fat man kicked him on the waist, and there was a dubbing in his mouth: "Go you." ”

With a "withered tom", Huang Baoan lay down and didn't get up for a long time.

Let's talk about my side, the security guard was carrying a rubber stick in his hand, and he saw that I was as thin as a knife man (praying mantis), and he didn't care, so he grabbed me by the neck and pressed it to the ground. The conscience of heaven and earth, seeing that he is old, I didn't intend to resist, I thought that the explanation would be over, but when he pinched his neck, my fire suddenly came out. Why, everyone who has fought knows that although this neck choke is not as imposing as the brick and the pickaxe to smash the leg, and it is bloody in one blow, it is very insulting and makes people feel ashamed.

Therefore, when the security guard grabbed me by the neck, my face suddenly turned red and I was angry. Then, I kicked him on the calf, and the security guard let go of my neck with a stumble, and he was still not convinced, and he shouted: "Ahhh ”

I was so angry: "If you have to knock out all your teeth again, do you believe it?" ”

Zhang Baoan's mouth was blushing, he really didn't dare to go up, and when he saw Huang Baoan and the fat man lying on their stomachs without making a move, they were even more frightened, their mouths were lively, and their feet could shrink back.

However, those enthusiastic old men and old ladies were quite dignified, and they shouted nonsense: "What do you want to do, stealing things and beating people, it's too arrogant, report 110 to arrest them." ”

"Uncle and aunt, misunderstanding, we are not thieves, and besides, if this thing is stolen, there is no place to sell the stolen goods, which scrap recycling station dares to accept this manhole cover." I explained kindly to the old man and the old lady.

"Don't steal manhole covers? So what are you doing with the manhole cover? "The old men and ladies were very vigilant, and they still looked at us suspiciously.

I looked at the fat man who was also confused, and then at Uncle Li, who was covering his mouth, yes, why are we lifting the manhole cover so much? said that Uncle Li asked us to do it, and then Uncle Li appeared to explain, it is estimated that the old man and the old lady all have to sacrifice here, and this plan is not feasible.

"We, we ......" I was racking my brains to think about it, the fat man took over: "Hey, let's be honest, it's not a shame, we are both gay, I bought a diamond ring for my girlfriend (the fat man pointed at me), the fucking diamond is also small, come here, we are guilty of a diaphragm (conflict), my girlfriend shook her hand, bald, the diamond ring fell into the hole in the manhole cover, we don't want to see if we can fish it out." ”

The fat man said happily, I can't hold it on my face, your uncle, you can't fucking think of an excuse not to be so perverted, you can't help but kill me.