Hospitals are always full of unhygienic atmosphere, and all diseases seem to be piled together, waiting for an opportunity to invade the bodies of vulnerable patients.

He sat in the white hospital room, the green walls gave people a sense of security, but he didn't feel anything about it, everything was fluttering, he was standing opposite him and observing the world, his eyes sneaked into the body of the female doctor, as if he was the doctor, asking himself about the condition.

Yourself, yourself......

The word that doctors say most often in a concerned tone is "self".

Who is yourself and who is yourself?

He lifted his small head and looked into her eyes over the nameplate placed in front of the doctor, the glass resin lenses refracted the lilac light, and her gaze was very gentle, like a warm candlelight.

From an early age, he discovered that there were two selves:

One is to observe oneself, the other is to move oneself, they are both crowded in the body, but one body seems to be too small, and the self that observes itself often runs outside. The two selves can't communicate because they're actually one self.

But which one is yourself?

He was trapped by this strange problem—a problem that no other child had ever experienced.

So he's not normal.

Mother sat beside her, worriedly putting her arm on his shoulder.

"What's wrong with my child...... Doctor, is he okay? He hasn't been stimulated since he was a kid......."

Mothers are like this with all doctors. From the time he was a child - family harmony, no genetic history in the family, no stimulation since childhood. After saying this, she will complain to the doctor, why did her child become like this?

Why?

I'm sorry, Mom. He thought to himself.

But he didn't feel apologetic.

If Mom and Dad get angry, just say "I'm sorry." That's what the grown-ups told him.

The female doctor comforted: "Depersonalization, in fact, don't think too badly, it is equivalent to an overly strong protective mechanism, and the child will close some emotions." ”

"Why did he become like this? Are you saying that this is my education?"

His mother would always bring the topic to it, and it would make his heart pound when he listened.

Mom, don't say any more.

He closed his eyes.

"Mother of the child, I'm not talking about you," the young female doctor was a little helpless in the face of the emergency, "This is congenital, but our hospital, parents, and the child work together, and there must be a way to return to normal." ”

"How did he recover! How many hospitals did I take him to? From Wuhan to Beijing, and then to Shanghai, do you know the doctor? One day he was almost hit by a car and died! That truck ...... "Mother sobbed.

He turned his face away and remembered what had happened that day.

The fatigued truck driver drove the car onto the sidewalk, he stood indifferently by the side of the truck, his right hand was cut with a deep wound, but he did not move, if it had not been for the good Samaritan on the side of the side of the truck to carry him away, he would have been crushed to death, or affected by the explosion.

But why run away?

Only the faint-hearted will run away, and he will be a brave child.

"Li Kuangshi's mother, please calm down, let Li Kuangshi recuperate in the hospital during this time, and the nurse will take care of him all day. The female doctor said.

Hearing this, he immediately guessed what his mother was going to say next.

"Doctor, what's the use of being hospitalized? Our family's savings are almost gone, and the child's father is missing again...... Can you figure it out? I really can't come up with the money...... No matter where you go, you will be hospitalized! Is there no other way for such a famous hospital as yours? The longer it drags on...... He's long past the age of elementary school, other kids are studying, he's staying at home all day, and now he's going to live in the hospital, he's in the ward all the time, what will kids of the same age think?!

The more the mother spoke, the more hysterical she became.

He stared indifferently at the doctor and his mother, then turned his head to get up.

He knew he was going to the next hospital.

"Li Kuangshi's mother, our hospital has an affiliated primary school," the doctor said calmly, "If you are worried about his studies, you can let him go to school with the children there." ”

"The little ones there, they're all mentally challenged!" the mother looked at the female doctor in horror, as if this action was pushing her son to the hell of a madman, "how can my son go to such a place?!"

The doctor sighed: "Li Kuangshi's mother, is there anything wrong with Li Kuangshi living with those children?"

"What do you mean, just because my child has mental problems, he has to live with other mentally ill children? Why is that?"

The doctor crossed his hands: "I have always felt that there is no distinction between ordinary and special children, and it is strange to divide them into normal and mentally ill, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" the mother's eyes turned red and swollen.

Hearing this, he looked at the young female doctor curiously.

"For children, as long as they feel that the other person is a good playmate, this is enough. There are a lot of kids like Lee Kuang Shi in our school, but they have gone through psychological counseling, and everyone is happy with each other, so you can go and see it now, it's Thursday, and the school is in session. ”

The mother retracted her unreasonable attitude and regained her composure a little.

He was a little moved when he heard this.

Everyone gets along happily...... He'd only seen it in fairy tale books.

Turns out there are places like this in the real world!, he couldn't help but think.

"If your home is really difficult," said the female doctor, after a moment's hesitation, "I can help you, in the name of a private person." ”

*

Later, he got to know the three words on the doctor's nameplate - Bai Chongyi.

"Yi" was too complicated, so Dr. Bai asked him to use "one" instead.

After a long time, he even forgot that Bai Chongyi was not her real name at all.

On this day, Dr. Bai found him alone and asked him to go to the small classroom of the school to talk.

The "small classroom" is actually a "psychological counseling room", but the children only call it a "small classroom", and everyone privately thinks that disobedient children will be called to the small classroom to talk.

In order to make these mentally troubled children think otherwise, the school renovated the small classrooms.

The walls are painted beige, and inside are various toys, dolls, and storybooks.

Everyone's opinion of it changed at once.

When the children saw that he was called to a small classroom by the teacher, they all cast envious eyes, including jealousy.

But he couldn't feel it.

All he knew was that a lot of pairs of black eyes were looking at him.

Why turn your head around?

He wasn't angry, he wasn't anxious, he just felt weird.

"Li Kuangshi," Dr. Bai's gentle voice drew his gaze back to her, "why did you break the rag doll this day? It's been many times this month, right? There are other children's dolls—why do you do this?"

He thought for a moment and said, "It's not me, when I saw the dolls, they were already broken." ”

"So, can you tell another kid to stop doing this again?" she said patiently, "let him think about how happy he would be if someone else trampled on a block?"

"No, it won't. ”

He likes to build blocks, to be precise, the moment when he knocks them down.

Boom - fragmented.

It's as if the mirror of the world has been broken, and everything is crystal clear. Only in that moment could he feel that the two selves had become one self again.

"Yes. So, you can't do this kind of thing anymore. Got it?"

He nodded in understanding.

What does this mean? Why did you say that to him? It wasn't what he wanted to do.

It's not even a matter of whether you want to or not, it just "happens".

*

The purple potion bubbled up and exploded in the air...... The whole house was blown up into the sky, and the roof was torn open...... The scene ends with the mouse's beckoning.

He watched "Cat and Mouse" on the TV intently, and some children were playing around with pillows.

"Teacher, what is that purple one?" he pulled the female teacher who was reading a picture book story to a younger child.

"What purple?" The female teacher didn't watch TV and didn't know what he was talking about.

"It was on TV. ”

The female teacher thought for a while: "The teacher didn't watch TV just now, and next time there is something purple on the TV, call the teacher again, okay?"

"Good!"

*

That's a bomb, it's going to explode, it's dangerous.