The brothers are very concerned, and there are many posts in the book review area to ask, so let's talk about it here. Last night, the book collection broke 100,000, and this morning it was ordered to break 3,000, and it is estimated that there will be a boutique badge next Monday.

I should be happy about this kind of thing, but I can't be happy, and I feel a little bitter in my heart.

At the beginning of the month, the starting point of the new version of the monthly pass red envelope activity, originally planned to invest thousands of dollars in to try, but after the beginning, it was like a gambler who entered the casino to gamble on the red eye, there was no way to stop, first started to recharge 1,000 or 2,000, then recharge hundreds of hundreds, and then recharge 200 or 100 again.

As long as I saw that the red envelope was received, I immediately continued to recharge and send red envelopes very numbly, not daring to think about how much money I had charged, nor daring to think about what the result would be. After the money in Alipay Huabei was used up, he withdrew the money in Yue Bao, and in seven days, he found out that the two accounts had been recharged with a total of 17,455 yuan, and all of them were sent clean.

The sixth place in the overall list of monthly tickets finally got the result of today's average booking of 3,000.

This month's manuscript fee must be unable to fill the arrears, such a large investment means that the old devil has worked hard for a whole month, and there is no income for a penny, just to bet on an unclear future.

I don't know what the future holds.

I don't know if it will be like the original "Mockery", the manuscript fee earned back can't even be compensated for the money invested, and it is really ridiculous to lose thousands of dollars for a few months in vain.

These days, when I sleep, I always wake up inexplicably, regret my impulse at the beginning of the month, worry that the bamboo basket will be empty, and when I wake up during the day, I scold myself for what I have done and I should not regret it, and force myself to calm down and code words.

The old devil has been writing books for nearly nine years, and has achieved nothing, and now he is old, and his health is not good, and he is afraid that the kidney failure will continue to be serious, and he will not be able to continue to code words one day, and the desire to come out is stronger than ever.

The old devil is a very strange person, with a very high IQ, reaching more than 140, but his EQ is extremely low, and he doesn't have any friends in real life (don't believe it, it's really really no friends). I can't control my emotions when I'm angry.,Extremely short-tempered.,I don't have a good relationship with my colleagues when I work.,I'm kicked out of several places.。

My wife often told me that no one but her could stand my stinky temper and that no one wanted to live with me.

She was quite right.

In the eyes of other writers, I am a clown, an alternative, a very annoying person, and every time I am mentioned, I am all kinds of bad words.

But I don't care about it.

Because I've been a failure in my whole life, and there are so many people who hate me, and they don't care about how many of them are.

I just continued my struggle, I wanted to write to earn money, I wanted to make a lot of money, I wanted to go home and tell my parents in their seventies that your son is not a mess and nothing you imagined, I want to drive a luxury car to my mother-in-law's house in style, and throw a red envelope worth tens of thousands of yuan to each of the relatives who chewed my tongue, so that my father-in-law and mother-in-law no longer feel ashamed when talking about the man their daughter married.

It was a dream, a dream that would never come true.

But I'm still struggling with this dream, maybe all these struggles are in vain, maybe until the day I die, I won't be able to get out of the way, I won't be able to have the scenery I want.

But I'm still struggling.

As long as I don't die, I'll keep struggling.

Over the years, thanks to your company, I can persevere, even if the whole world has given up on me, you are still like my wife, never abandon me, tolerate my irritability, tolerate my nagging, tolerate my irresponsibility, tolerate my vulnerability, tolerate all my shortcomings, and have always given me encouragement and support, so that I can continue to struggle and continue to dream to this day.

Thank you!

…… (To be continued.) )