He asked, "Are you really my son?"

He then touched my forehead and said, "You don't have a fever!" I forced a smile, perhaps the darkness was masking my cynical expression.

I said, "Dad, I am a post-80s generation, and there is a generation gap between me and your post-60s, and I am more open in thinking than you think."

The father said in a tentative tone: "Son, you can really come out, I am interested in aligning the accounting?"

At that moment, I suddenly realized the severity of the situation, and I spoke to my father, perhaps with a kind of cynicism, even a mouth full of nonsense.

It was to make him feel a kind of guilt, so that he could go back and apologize to my mother, and I even said something against my will that I didn't dare to think about it, but I didn't expect that I stole the secret that my father hid in my heart.

I didn't know what to say at that moment! My father seemed to be waiting for my statement, and we were silent with each other.

I said, "Dad, it's been a long time, are you really interested in aligning with accounting?"

My dad was a little embarrassed.

He said, "I know, I'm not sorry for your mother!" I abruptly interrupted my father's words and said, "What have you come of?"

I could feel my heart pounding when I asked this.

My father said, "What is the development of what is dù?

I said, "Then you say you're sorry for my mom?" What didn't you really do? I'm sorry for my mother's business!

My dad suddenly became angry: "Which one is this, Accountant Qi and I used to be lovers, but Lao Ding was too tough at the beginning, so he broke us up." I haven't forgotten about it for decades!

When my father said this, he was drenched in anger and unwilling, and then he told the secrets that had been accumulated in his heart for decades without reservation.

But I listened quietly like a listener.

It was a difficult time, and Qi was only a teenager at the time, and she was still a simple girl, and her parents were professors at a university in Shanghai.

In that turbulent era, because of the poor family composition, Accountant Qi was sent to a poor village in Yangbei from Shanghai to learn the life style of poor middle peasants.

At that time, Accountant Qi had a southerner, that kind of unique delicacy, seemingly small and delicate weakness, but he had the temperament of a scholarly family.

At that time, my grandfather was very poor in Miurakou, and Accountant Qi was arranged by the production team to live at my grandfather's house.

My dad had thick eyebrows and big eyes at that time, and he was also a well-known handsome guy in Miuraguchi, and suddenly a knowledgeable and educated girl came to the house, and my dad's heart was suddenly hooked.

At that time, my grandfather's family was poor, and when Qi Hui came to my house, he often couldn't eat enough, and he was so hungry that his face was yellow and thin, and he often got sick.

My dad often went to the river pond to net fish, dig up river shrimp, and give it to Qi Accountant to eat.

Gradually, my father and Qi fell in love. Later, my father went to join the army, and Qi chased him to the train station crying to wait for my father.

My dad was in the army for five years. In the past five years, Qi's accountant has also undergone some changes, and her parents left Shanghai to go abroad and never returned. After the tide of educated youths returning to their hometowns began, Qi Hui was about to return to Shanghai, and I don't know why he came back again.

Later, the Yangbei Civil Affairs Bureau recruited people to build a crematorium, and my grandfather and grandmother went there to support a large family.

And Qi will be careful, and he is also a high school graduate and educated, and he passed the guò exam and entered the Yangbei Civil Affairs Bureau.

At that time, Accountant Qi was beautiful, and the Civil Affairs Bureau was a unit with more men and fewer women, and Accountant Qi was not a local, with an arrogant personality and unsociable, and gossip was everywhere for a while.

At the beginning, it was rumored that a leader of the Civil Affairs Bureau slept with Qi Accountant before arranging her into the Civil Affairs Bureau, when chasing the wind and shadows, it reached the ears of my grandparents, saying that there was a nose and eyes, at that time my grandfather was more upright, how could he stand people talking about her future daughter-in-law like this, so he quarreled with the leader.

If this trouble is not stopped, it will become a fact in someone else's home.

After my father was discharged from the army, he wanted to enter Yangbei is a steel factory and contribute his strength to the country.

My grandfather felt that my father had retired from the army and changed jobs, and at that time, he was in the prime and had a better future in the Civil Affairs Bureau, so he forced my father to enter the Civil Affairs Bureau.

Because at that time, my grandfather and the leaders of the Civil Affairs Bureau had a holiday because of the matter of Qi accounting.

I put my father at the funeral home.

My father was arrogant at that time, maybe he fell into the funeral home to burn the boiler from a demobilized cadre with a good future in his career, and he was somewhat unacceptable, but emotionally, some of Accountant Qi's gossip was like a pimple, squeezing and stretching on his face, and he and Accountant Qi began to quarrel as if they hurt each other.

However, at this juncture, Uncle Ding added fuel to the fire as if he had a needle in the seams, and later I learned why Uncle Ding had been matching my mother and my father in the first place (this is a later story).

After my father and my mother got married, Accountant Qi either wanted to take revenge on my father, or deliberately disgusted herself, she actually married the leader who had rumors with him, but Accountant Qi's husband, that is, the leader, had a car accident after a drunk driving and drove the crane west.

But my father has never forgotten Accountant Qi, or perhaps Accountant Qi can't forget my father.

They hide that feeling deep in their hearts, maybe a look with affection, a casual greeting, contains too much sadness and helplessness.

The reality is that if something is missed, it will be missed forever.

I listened to my father's deeply emotional narration, and I was stunned.

However, I can't hate the accountant as I hate a third party.

At that time, I suddenly felt that my mother was the third party, and Uncle Ding broke up a pair of loving people, which made me a little ashamed. But emotionally I couldn't accept my father's betrayal.

Although I said it so easily and painlessly when I paraphrased my father, I loved my mother more than my father. That will never change, even if my mother snatched her love.

I don't blame my mother. I kept smoking, one after the other.

My father stared at me and didn't dare to speak. Maybe my actions surprised him a little.

He was cautiously silent, perhaps waiting for my quiet outburst.

However, I simply said, "Dad, let's go back!"

My father said yes and I walked back, and we were silent with each other all the way, not saying a word.

When we got home, my mother sat on the sofa and waited for us, and Fugui kept talking to her.

The father walked into the bedroom like a child who had done something wrong, and walked into the bedroom without a sound.

My mother then followed. Immediately after that was my father, a heavy and affectionate apology.

Like an old nanny, my mother went out of the bedroom and carried a hot water bottle to pour water for my father, wash his face and feet.

That night I had insomnia, I couldn't understand the emotions of my parents, and my mother was willing to work for her beloved all her life without regrets.

And the father seems to enjoy the comforts brought by the family, but he has another woman in his heart.

It seemed to me at that moment that I suddenly understood why my father was so indifferent to me and my mother since I was a child.

Because he still seems to have an unrealistic fantasy in his heart, that is, one day he can get together with his childhood sweetheart.

But now my father obviously cares more about me and my mother, and I can tell from the tone of his voice that he is giving up a qiē for my mother and me.

Maybe after my accident, at the police station, in the hospital, in the prison, he suddenly found that his family was more important to him than anything else.

It seems that the father's dream is only desperately fantasized in the mother's nagging and quarrels, but when the reality is in front of him, the dream wakes up at dawn.

While thinking about my father, I suddenly thought of wind chimes, Xing Rui, and Wan Xinyi, wind chimes are like a childhood dream of mine, that dream is too illusory and too beautiful.

When I thought of the wind chimes, tears flowed out of my eyes unconsciously.

Her face seemed to be weeping, and her narrow eyelashes were stained with crystal clear teardrops, which hung on them one by one, like frozen beads, crumbling.

The charming face seemed to be getting closer and closer, her slender fingers were a little cold, holding my face, and her pale red lips were clinging to mine like petals, soft and with a faint fragrance.