"Sister Zhenzhen, did you contact Lu Li later? Why didn't he say goodbye? Has he returned home now? Adin asked a series of questions in one breath.

I shook my head, not because I didn't want to answer, but because I couldn't answer any of Adin's questions.

Seeing that my expression was a little lost, Adin didn't say anything more.

Because I made an appointment with Gu Zijin to have dinner together in the evening, I saw that the time was nearly six o'clock, and then I said goodbye to Adin.

Sitting on the bus to the law firm, looking at the lights outside the window, my heart was inexplicably a little desolate. Suddenly remembered what he said to me when he sat in the back of the bus with Lu Li that day, he said, "You are so stupid, it's better to stay around me."

I'm so stupid, but you're not gone.

Before getting into the car, Adin asked me, "Sister Zhenzhen, haven't you looked for Lu Li?" ”

How could it be that I hadn't looked for it.

In the days when Lu Li just disappeared, I locked myself at home and called Lu Li from morning to night, but the other end of the phone was always cold "The phone you dialed has been turned off".

I asked Lin Zhi to help me get the contact information of the Curtis Institute of Music's Academic Affairs Office, and asked the foreigner in broken English if there was an international student named Lu Li, but the answer I got was "No such person".

I also asked Senior Sister Shinoying to try to help me contact Lu Li's father, but Senior Sister Shinoying said that the relationship between their family and Lu Li's family was only good with their grandfather's generation, and since the two grandfathers passed away one after another, the two families have basically never been in contact again.

When I filled in the college entrance examination, I specially filled in Haicheng Normal College, Lu Li's father was in Haicheng First Hospital, I wanted to go to Haicheng to find Lu Li's father to ask his contact information, this may be the last method.

Wang Ning was admitted to the same school as me, majoring in English.

On the day I went to Haicheng, the Gu family sisters and brothers came to the train station to see me off Wang Ning and me.

In the waiting room, Wang Ning pulled Gu Zipei to a corner where there were few people to talk. Before the Gu family sisters and brothers came, Wang Ning had been sitting next to me with red eyes and not saying a word, I knew that she was reluctant to part with Gu Zipei. I can see that Gu Zipei is coming, she has returned to her former liveliness, and I watched the two of them walking to the corner playfully, and I was envious.

If Lu Li is also here, are we also so good.

Gu Zijin sat down next to me and looked at me hatefully, "Zhen Zhen, you want to go to Haicheng to find Lu Li's father, I can accompany you, but why do you have to go to Haicheng to study at university, your college entrance examination results can obviously go to a better university outside the province." ”

Gu Zijin really knew me best, and when I applied for the volunteer, I only filled in Haicheng Normal College without telling everyone. I was lucky, maybe in the next four years, Lu Li would return to China to find his father.

"Zijin, Lu Li once told me that he wanted to take the same city, and you said that he was afraid that I would blame him for breaking the appointment, so he refused to contact me. But we are friends, and I will be happy for him if he can go abroad for further study, how can I blame him. I thought about it all summer and didn't understand why Lu Li said goodbye, I wanted to know the answer so much. My voice trembled as I tried to hold back my tears.

Gu Zijin held my hand tightly to give me strength, "Zhen Zhen, I have no position to persuade you on this matter, and my own feelings are in a mess." But you have to promise me that whether you find the answer or not, you will be fine. ”

I looked at Gu Zijin's eyes like mist in the mountains, and held her hand, "You too, no matter what you do with Chen Yao, you have to be good." ”

After settling down at the school, I immediately went to Haicheng First Hospital, Wang Ning was worried that I was not familiar with Haicheng, so he accompanied me.

After many inquiries, we finally confirmed that Lu Li's father was the director of the neurology department. We followed the nurse's instructions to the director's office, but were told that Lu Li's father had taken the initiative to apply for an academic exchange in the United States two months ago, and the return date had not yet been determined.

I was in a hurry to go out in the morning and forgot to have breakfast, and when I walked out of the office, I suddenly had stars in my eyes, my hands and feet were weak, and I slowly squatted on the ground against the wall.

"Zhenzhen, are you guilty of low blood sugar again?" Wang Ning bent down and made a gesture to help me up.

I waved my hand, "I'll squat for a while, my head is very dizzy." ”

Wang Ning simply squatted next to me, "Zhen Zhen, although you never said it, but I also vaguely know about you and Lu Li, do you like Lu Li?" You've been so sad lately because of Lu Li's departure abroad, right? ”

"The bystanders are clear, and the authorities are confused" is not wrong at all, I thought I hid my feelings for Lu Li well, but I didn't want Gu Zijin, Senior Sister Xiaoying and Wang Ning to see it.

I nodded honestly, "I just want to ask Lu Li in person why he flew abroad without saying a word, and he sent a text message to tell us that he was safe or something." ”

"When I was in junior high school, I had a very good friend, she liked Lu Li very much, and she tried hard to learn the piano in order to have a common topic with him, but she accidentally broke two fingers by the piano cover. But Lu Liming knew that my friend liked her very much, but he ignored her during her injury, and didn't even say a word of concern. My friend was so painful that he committed suicide by taking sleeping pills, but he was able to save him, but he was left with a lifetime of indelible pain. ”

I looked at Wang Ning with wide eyes in shock, her expression was a little distorted because of grief, which is why she hated Lu Li so much before.

However, I felt in my heart that the girl's injury had nothing to do with Lu Li, maybe she was too paranoid.

Seeing that I was indifferent, Wang Ning continued: "Zhen Zhen, Lu Li, who I knew before, was a cold-blooded and selfish guy, and in his heart he didn't care about anyone except his grandparents. So he would go abroad in such a way, I'm not curious at all. Because in his heart, he didn't treat us as friends at all. ”

I lowered my head again and looked at the tips of my shoes, "No, Lu Li is just cold and hot, he has changed a lot, at least he once gave me warmth and strength." ”

Wang Ning sighed, "Zhenzhen, some things are destined to be unanswered, so why be persistent?" You can't always think about staying where you are, trying to step out, and someone better will be waiting for you. ”

I was a little touched, what Wang Ning said was not wrong, Lu Li had already left us and ran away first, but I was still standing still, hoping that he would come back and wait for me.

Lu Li has a great future ahead of him, and he has no obligation to stop because of me.

"But I haven't told him yet, I really like him......"

I clasped my hands around my knees and curled up my body together.

In the corridor of the hospital, many people saw a girl squatting on the ground crying very sadly, as if she wanted to vent all the grievances, doubts, and sadness that had accumulated for a long time.

In this place full of birth, old age, sickness and death every day, it is not surprising that some people are crying.

It's just that no one knows why she's so sad.

I think I'm sad not only for Lu Li's departure, but also for the good years when I liked him in those years also disappeared with him.

For a long time, I weaved a fantasy for myself that Lu Li might have suffered from some incurable disease after the college entrance examination and died in the process of treatment in a foreign country. I know it's a bad idea, but at least it makes me feel that Lu Li in this story is still beautiful.

Or, Lu Li didn't know where I was going to confess to him, maybe he was disgusted with my confession and wanted to draw a line with me, and the two sides of the world would never see each other from now on.

Thinking of these reasons, I suddenly felt that my long-standing doubts were finally solved, and I didn't have to hang myself on the tree of Lu Li and give up the Great Forest. Under such self-hypnosis, I had two extremely brief relationships.

My first boyfriend was in the art department, and one day after a month of dating, when I learned that he was an art student but couldn't play the piano, he resolutely broke up; The second boyfriend is my direct senior, he captured my heart for a piano song at the school New Year's Day party, and one day after two months of being together, I suddenly had low blood sugar, and he carried me to the school hospital for infusion, which was not wrong for him to do so, but I kicked him on the lame grounds that "he treated me incorrectly".

After Gu Zijin found out, he counted me out loud on the phone: "I said Ye Zhenzhen, not all men in the world can play the piano like Lu Li, and not everyone knows that when you have low blood sugar, you have to stuff a white rabbit in your mouth first!" Wake up! ”

What Gu Zijin said was right, I hadn't woken up from the dream that Lu Li had disappeared, I thought I had uprooted Lu Li's tree, but I didn't expect him to plant deep roots in my heart.

One night during the winter vacation of my senior year, Gu Zipei suddenly asked me to go to the sail playground.

I sat on a bench on the edge of the playground and shivered and asked, "Why are you looking for me on such a cold day?" ”

Gu Zipei sat down and said with a hippie smile: "Looking for you to confess." ”

I slapped Gu Zipei's arm, and he jumped up in pain, "Zhen Zhen, why are you like my sister, becoming more and more violent." ”

I was noncommittal, "Who made you joke around, it's not serious." You, it's time to go to the army to hone and hone and hone your appearance. ”

Gu Zipei suddenly didn't answer, he was silent for a while before he slowly spoke, "Zhenzhen, I will be a soldier the day after tomorrow." ”

"You're kidding again," I looked at Gu Zipei, the expression on his face more serious than ever, "isn't it?" Did you really sign up? ”

"Well, didn't I say it before, my wish is to protect my family and defend the country."

I haven't come out of the shadow of Lu Li's departure, and my friends I've known for more than ten years are leaving again. I suddenly became sad.

While I was sad, Gu Zipei beside me was a little restless for some reason, as if the words that had been brewing for a long time were said by him in one breath, "Zhen Zhen, I like you, I have liked you since elementary school." At that time I was bullied by the chubby in the class, and you came forward to help me, and you were so small at that time, in order to help me stain the new dress that your mother bought for you. You secretly ran to the pool by yourself to wash and cry, and then I swore that I would take good care of you in the future. I have confessed to you countless times for more than ten years, but today is the last time I will confess to you. I'm going to be a soldier, and I want to be stronger and protect more people. Vera, I'm not with you, you're going to take care of yourself, right? ”

Ever since I met Gu Zipei when I was seven years old, he has been following me all day long like a little follower. Even when we grew up and entered junior high school, he was always mixed with me and Gu Zijin. When I forgot to bring my textbook, he would give it to me secretly, and I was punished by the teacher. When it's my turn to do the duty, he always comes early to help me clean up. I wanted to see the Mayday concert, and he even skipped class to help me buy tickets.

I know in my heart that his thoughts about me are not as simple as friends, but for me, he is not only a friend, but more like a relative.

Thinking about the past, I couldn't help but shed tears, "Lu Li left, Wang Ning is also going to the west to teach, and now you are also leaving, can't we be together like high school all the time?" ”

Gu Zipei stretched out his hand to help me wipe away my tears, "Zhenzhen, don't cry." The process of growing up is to constantly say goodbye to old people and then meet new people, when you can say goodbye with a smile, it means that you have grown up. ”

After so many years, our mobile phones have changed from Nokia to iPhone series, how many people's beliefs have changed from Jay Chou and Mayday to Eason Chan and Stefanie Sun, and Gu Zipei's favorite sneakers have also changed from Nike to New Balance, and I am about to come out of the ivory tower and enter society.

Even if we are reluctant, time will push us forward.

We're going to grow up.