Chapter 46: The Right to Weakness

Ruan Zhan was motionless like wood, but his heart was like boiling water, steaming his soul that was already full of holes!

Night Wind Ring, Yin and Yang Pole, are you sure he's dead?

I still remember that when Sima Nan was about to die, the smile on his lips had a trace of ridicule, a trace of compassion, a trace of sympathy, and a trace of distress, which made people's hearts palpitate. Does he know everything? Knowing that his Ruan Zhan's life is nothing more than a joke, a meaningless scam!

He asked Sima Nan three questions: first, the relationship between them; second, his life experience; Third, the mysterious death of his father? Sima Nan only replied to these three sentences, and there was no explanation. At that time, he didn't think that Sima Nan was playing tricks, because he thought that Sima Nan didn't know what to say, and he must have his own reasons. It's just that for the first answer, he immediately knows the answer.

Night Wind Ring.

He didn't know what sect his father was, but he knew that the most powerful spell in his father's faction was called the Wind Blade, and the reason why he first cultivated the Fire Handprint and Palm Thunder was because the Wind Blade had higher requirements for spiritual power, and he had to improve his strength if he unlocked his seal. And he didn't know this when he was a child, but once in a while he saw his father use the wind blade to beat a very fierce ghost and disappear in an instant, and he liked it very much. But though he liked it, he did not ask his father for learning, because he always conveyed to him the message that they were just two strangers who were together and that they did not need to be too close, and that he was not qualified to claim anything that did not belong to him. He was eight years old at the time, and he had not yet been forcibly taught anything about Taoism by his father.

In the summer of that year, he and Wanli fought with the big children on the street, and suffered external injuries, because he concealed the injury and did not report it, so that the wound was not cleaned in time and became infected, which eventually led to a high fever that did not go away, and he tossed in the hospital for more than a week before picking up his life, and was taken home by his father to recuperate.

One night it was very hot, and he was lying in an unventilated room, feeling very uncomfortable, but he could not go to the yard to cool off because of fatigue, and was thinking about what to do, when he suddenly saw his father slowly pacing in. This made him a little strange, because father and son rarely spoke, and his father rarely entered his room, and from the day he was adopted, he had learned to take care of himself. Then I saw my father pacing around the room for a while, as if there was something difficult to decide, and then he sat down at the head of his bed, grabbing him in the air in a dashing manner, and then waving it in his face.

Immediately he felt a gentle cool breeze blowing on his face, and the wind from far and near, the moment it touched his face, suddenly spread out in all directions, like a ring over his head, and then down his body.

At that time, he was still too young, although he had already developed his current personality, but after all, he was childish, and this wind made him feel comfortable and playful, and he couldn't help laughing. Say to your father, "Will you do it again?"

His father did not speak, but he did it again, and again and again all night, until he fell asleep in a daze, and even in his dreams he felt the rings of wind blowing over and over again, making him feel cool and gentle.

When he woke up, it was the next morning, and his father was gone, but he could never forget the events of that night. His father, who had always been stern and silent, smiled like nothing, coaxed him, comforted him, and stroked his head, like a father who dotes on his children the most. Afterwards, he plucked up the courage to ask about the details of the spell, and his father told him that it was called the 'Night Wind Ring', which was a small spell created by his father's master, that is, his master to make his apprentice happy, and it was useless, but except for his father, only the master would do it. Because the ancestor promised his father that it was just a spell created for him, and it would never be passed on to others.

Therefore, when Sima Nan said these three words with a hint of kindness, he immediately knew that Sima Nan was his ancestor. How ridiculous this is, no matter what kind of life-and-death struggle he had, he actually killed his own ancestor!

And when the three words 'yin and yang' entered his ears, his shock was indescribable! He didn't understand how Sima Nan could know about this!

He has had a strange black birthmark on the sole of his foot since he was a child, because it doesn't hurt or itch, he never cared about it, but once his father accidentally saw it and told him that that kind of birthmark is unique, called yin and yang, people with yin and yang have strong natural ability, and it is only passed on between biological father and son, when he sees other people with this kind of birthmark on the soles of their feet, that person is his biological father.

When he heard this as a child, he didn't believe it at all. He stubbornly thought that the man in the family was his biological father, and he didn't know if that person had a birthmark, but he knew that the man hated him and threw him into the coal truck! He hated the man and woman who had abandoned him so much that if it weren't for the fact that he was too young to know where he was when he left home, he would have even thought of revenge!

But today, it seems that he actually hates the wrong person! The pair who threw him were just his adoptive parents, and when people found out about his strangeness, they were afraid that he would dislike him, and he hated people who shouldn't be hated at all. And his biological father pretended to be his adoptive father and stayed by his side for more than ten years, and he didn't say anything to him, just treated him coldly! Let him carry the burden of kindness even when he longs for love but cannot get it, accepts it carefully, resists with concern, and is full of gratitude for his 'gift'!

Presumably, what his father told him 'unintentionally' was also intentional. But why? Why did he, as his biological father, refuse to admit it? Did his father abandon him or give him away while he could remember? When he was sent back later, was it a deliberate arrangement or a coincidence in the dark?

Finally, he understood the complicated look in his eyes when he was sent to his father by that ghost! He must have known who the child in front of him was? So accept or reject, love or hate, curiosity or surprise? At that moment, it must have all surged into his heart.

But what about knowing? Why is he so ruthless to his own son, who doesn't give him any warmth, but teaches him so many things? Do you hate him or love him? Do you have to take him in, do you have other plans? Even if you have a dog, you will occasionally play with the dog, you will hold it and stroke its hair, why can he be so cold, as if he doesn't want to have anything to do with him? Don't want to have a deep connection with him at all? Isn't he his closest and most flesh-and-blood person?!

So why give him a little warm memory, the night wind ring waving in that summer night, the baked egg yolk grass cake? Also, why did you tell him about the yin and yang poles, was it to imply something?

Thinking of this, Ruan Zhan sneered sadly from the bottom of his heart. It doesn't matter, how sad is that! He always thought that he was cold enough, but compared to his biological father, it was really a small thing! At least he still has feelings, and knows that he has to repay his benefactor, fellowship with his friends, and love his beloved woman like a treasure, but what about his father?

He is close to father and son, but he has been able to deal with his son for more than ten years like a pair of strangers who are kind and beneficial, and he calmly told his only son that he will have a death sentence in the future, as if his life and death have nothing to do with him!

So the answer to the third question doesn't matter anymore, it doesn't matter to him whether his father is dead or alive, anyway, he doesn't want to be involved with himself, anyway, he has been hiding this big secret. Besides, his father may have been able to hide from him back then, but now he is very sure that his father is really dead, at least physically. Why did he cheat to death before? Why is it happening now? And by whom? Where did the soul go? Who is the man who has been unable to see his face? It's none of his business, he doesn't want to get involved!

Resentful or sad, Ruan Zhan couldn't tell clearly, he just felt that his life and death were so boring. The reason why he was able to survive peacefully knowing the date of death was because when his parents abandoned him, he had an adoptive father who could take him in, and he felt that for the sake of this nurturing grace, he couldn't give up first, and he had to find out the cause of his adoptive father's death. But now that this reason no longer existed, a similar ferocious thought suddenly arose in his heart, he really wanted to end his life immediately, so that the arrangement of heaven and his father's prophecy would be all in vain! There will be no difficulty at all, because before that, he himself ended everything!

The neck is wet, who is crying so sadly? Where did the warmth come from from his chest to his whole body?

Ruan Zhan suddenly felt something different after giving birth to that desperate world-weary heart. Pulling back his trance, he realized that he had stood up, holding the crystal knife with a blood line in his left hand, and pointing in the air with his right hand, as if he was about to step away, but two arms were wrapped around his waist, and a person was close to his chest.

"Take me wherever you go, and it's the same to hell!" A voice spoke willfully with tears in it.

In an instant, he came to his senses!

This is Xiao Xia's room, his crystal knife is hidden on the bookshelf here, and his inner consciousness is directing him to return to his hometown and end his life in the old house to fight against all this unfair arrangement!

"Xiao Xia, let go." He said wearily. He loved her so much, but at the moment even this kind of love made him unable to bear it.

"I don't! Not really! With the answer, the arm around Ruan Zhan's waist tightened, almost making him breathless.

"Let go of me, Natsu-chan. I'm just- just-"

"You're just leaving, and you're never coming back!"

"Nope."

"Yes! Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. I won't let go, or you'll be gone in a flash! I can't stop you, so go wherever you want, but take me with you! Xiao Xia continued to cry, tears sprinkled on Ruan Zhan's heart, making his heart so sad that he lost the power of hatred.

"Don't cry, is anyone dead?" He tried to joke, "Ah, someone died, but it was my father who died, and I was the one who was betrayed, why are you crying, and you are still so sad?" ”

"I'm crying for you, because you won't show weakness." Xiao Xia Luo raised her head and looked at Ruan Zhan's cold face.

Although the handsome face seemed calm, the eyes were full of desperation and anger, and all the lines were tense, as if they were going to fight to the death against an unfair fate! There was endless sadness and helplessness in her expression, which made her want to replace her, wanting to hurt him and be sad for him. Why is it that the same person, only he has an extraordinarily ill-fated fate? Why does he carry things that others don't need to carry? Why is he the only one who has such a hard life and so no hope?

He thought he knew him, but then he knew that he was so stubborn, and when he faced this complete blow, when the spiritual world he had built since he was a child collapsed in an instant, he even forced himself to straighten his waist and refuse to show a little weakness in front of others. A tragic childhood without love and repeated ostracism shaped his lonely, tough, and tenacious personality, but he may not know that no matter how strong a person is, he also has the right to be weak!

Therefore, she feels even more sorry for his stubbornness, the fragility under his strong appearance!

"Cry for me?" Ruan Zhan muttered, the emotion in his words unclear.

Xiao Xia pulled down his arm that was stopped in mid-air to dispel the threat that he would suddenly disappear, and then forcefully broke his other clenched hand, unceremoniously took out the crystal knife that might be a treasure, threw it to the ground at random, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"Now you come and hold me." She said gently, "Transition all your dissatisfaction and sadness to me, and let me cry all these sad things for you." ”

"Natsu-chan!" He desperately wanted to break free, but found that she was holding him dead.

"You've done so much for me, let me help you too." Xiao Xia burst into tears, "I can't let you leave me, I still have a lot of things to do with you, let you go now, there will be no chance in the future." So, I'm going to help you take the burden off your shoulders. Come on, I beg you, you just have to relax, as long as you don't force yourself for a minute! ”

His body stiffened, and it took a lot of effort for Xiao Xia to make him bend his body a little, and pressed it against her shoulder.

The fragrance of her body and hair, and the warm breath in the back of her neck made the iceberg in his heart suddenly crack a corner. He tried to resist, but she desperately tried to melt him. He hesitated, unsure whether to obey her.

Try it, maybe you won't be so tired after relaxing. In front of her, what other scruples does he have? Moreover, if she didn't listen to her words, she really didn't let go of herself, and she was entangled endlessly. Otherwise, only this time, only this time to relax. Anyway, he didn't have much time.

These thoughts vaguely crossed through his heart, making his body unconsciously relax. The relaxation of the body brought about the relaxation of emotions, and when his tense nerves gave up resistance, all the past events that no one knew came to his heart, so that he gradually gave up his disguise, hugged the person in his arms, released all the burden in his body to her, and all the weight on his body was also hung on her body.

Feeling his stiff body soften, Natsu gritted her teeth and maintained a standing position. He was much taller than her, and this made her support her weight as if she couldn't stand, and she almost fell. But she was glad that he could slowly free himself from the sudden emotion just now, and she was glad that she could give him a little warmth. He was a poor man, and although he was elegant in appearance and strong in personality, the stronger he was, the weakest he was, and she was really glad to be able to help him share it.

He still didn't cry, maybe he had already lost this function, but he trembled uncontrollably, and she let him silently vent so many years of loneliness, bitterness and sadness!

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