Chapter 20: The Secret of the Heart

The genius was bright, and Xiao Xia suddenly woke up, because she suddenly felt empty, and it seemed that Ruan Zhan had left again.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that his side was empty, except for the messy sheets, his body temperature and smell were not left. Xiao Xia burst into tears instantly, put on a piece of clothing and ran downstairs to look, but before she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw that the entire bar was empty, and there was not even a shadow.

Is he gone again? Are you going to give up on her again? He hid away when she just hinted at him, and now that she has such a close relationship with him, will she lose him forever? Thinking that she might never see him again, Natsu heard her heartbreak.

Click――

But is the heartbreak so loud? This is an exaggeration!

Natsu followed the prestige in a blur, only to see the door of the bar open, and the man who had left forever in her consciousness appeared there, looking at her in amazement.

"Xiao Xia, what are you doing standing here? Go upstairs, you're going to catch a cold! Ruan Zhan hurriedly closed the door to block the cold wind outside the door, walked to the staircase in three steps and two steps, and hugged her in the crook of his arm. He didn't know how long she had been standing, but when he saw that she was wearing only his shirt, with bare feet and legs, she must have frozen.

"I thought you were gone again." Getting into the warm quilt, the fear and uneasiness in Xiao Xia's heart did not decrease, although he loosened Ruan Zhan's neck, but instead pulled his clothes and held on, so that Ruan Zhan had to sit on the edge of the bed. He had the cold outside on his body, but hugging him warmed her heart.

Looking at her hidden tears, his heart was filled with indescribable tenderness, "I won't disappear, it's just that you will definitely regret it." ”

"I don't regret it."

Ruan Zhan didn't speak, only smiled bitterly. He shouldn't have done it last night, but he couldn't control it, the fire in his heart burned him crazy, and now it's too late to say anything, only to find a way to solve the doomed situation. Not for anything else, just for her!

"I went buy something." He took out the small box in his pocket, "I can't give you a wedding now, but I want to marry you as my wife." ”

Oh, he actually proposed!

Xiao Xia was confused for a while, and then there was a burst of ecstasy, he didn't think about it at all, where could Ruan Zhan buy a ring so early, he didn't expect that he used Taoism to break into the jewelry store, put down the money, and took the ring himself and left.

She didn't hide the happiness in her heart at all, and hurriedly let go of the hands that had been holding Ruan Zhan's clothes, and raised all ten fingers in front of him, "I promise, I promise, wear the ring quickly!" ”

Her anxious and serious demeanor made Ruan Zhan laugh, and the depressed emotions in her heart were soothed. With her, he was always happy, content, and a little bit of peace, as if she was his home.

He kissed her palm, but didn't put the ring on her hand.

"Xiao Xia, I want to tell you something about me, and then you can decide whether to accept my marriage proposal or not." He forced himself to come out of his gentle emotions and face the cruelty of reality, "I'm sorry I can't give you a definite future, because I have a very unavoidable suffering, that's why I haven't been able to accept you, it's not that you're bad." A long time ago - I loved you. ”

Xiao Xia looked at his face with a little pain, and what he said automatically and selectively received in his mind, completely ignoring the "bitterness", and only hearing him say that he had loved her a long time ago, and he was so happy that he forgot everything. He loves her! He loves her! Loved a long time ago! In the heart of a woman in love, as long as her sweetheart loves her, what difficulties can't be solved? Affectionate drinking water is full!

Thinking with a smile, Xiao Xia took the ring by himself and put it in Ruan Zhan's hand, and then before Ruan Zhan understood what she was going to do, he let him put the ring on for himself.

"I officially declare that you are mine now! Come on, get a stamp! She imprinted a kiss on Ruan Zhan's lips loudly, and then began to admire the ring on her hand, ignoring Ruan Zhan's existence.

Ruan Zhan had already learned about her childishness, and knew that if she didn't stop her, she wouldn't be able to talk. After last night, he couldn't give up on her anymore, the question was whether he could have her, so he had to confess everything to her.

"Xiao Xia, you listen to me carefully." He pinched her chin and forced her eyes to meet his. But this is the kind of facing her, which made his heart almost lose ground, and he quickly reined in his mind and said: "I'm talking about serious things, talking about our future, you said that we have to face it together, so you have to understand what I'm worried about." ”

"What's so serious?" Seeing Ruan Zhan's serious appearance, Xiao Xia asked, and his intoxicated heart suddenly became a little nervous.

Ruan Zhan opened his mouth, but did not speak for a while. He had closed his inner world for too long, and now he had to stretch out his arms to hold her in his arms before he had the strength to speak out.

"I'm going to do something life-threatening soon." His words came from Xiao Xia's hair, and the words themselves and his painful voice made Xiao Xia freeze, but Ruan Zhan held her and didn't let her see his face.

"It's something I've been meant to do since I was born, and I can't run away from it, and I can't stop doing it. It's my destiny, and even if I can resist, I can't allow myself to do that. Because, that's about my father. ”

He suddenly couldn't speak anymore, Xiao Xia Huan's hand on his waist gently stroked his back and comforted, "What's the matter?" Tell me what is it that puts so much pressure on you, tell me and I can share it for you, really, I can share it. ”

"My fate was predestined thirty-three years ago, and I was born for the day I died."

"Nonsense, of course people are born to die." Xiao Xia patted Ruan Zhan and tried to look as relaxed as possible.

"That's right, but it comes naturally, not like me. What do you want me to say? I can only say that I was not born for life, I was born for death, and if it weren't for the day of the tribulation, if it weren't for the strange celestial phenomena of that day, I would not have been born. ”

Ruan Zhan wanted to speak calmly, but he couldn't, and his words like tongue twisters also made Xiao Xia confused for a while, but she didn't interrupt him and waited for him to continue.

"My father, Ruan Tianyi, was a cultivator, and his mind was very sincere, and he respected and was obsessed with Taoism and Taoism, that is, he was not close to women. Before, when he appeared to me as an adoptive father, I could understand that he was kind to me in raising me. But when I found out that he was my biological father, I always wondered how a man like him could marry and have children. It is impossible for him to find a woman because of a momentary impulse, if he has a woman, it must be because of his true feelings. So what kind of person is my mother, who can make him emotional, make him love enough to give birth to a child? Where did my mother go? He's dead? Or can't stand his indifference and walk away? Growing up, I didn't find any traces of a woman around him who ever existed, which is illogical. Because it is impossible for a man who has moved his true feelings to endure the pain of lovesickness, which I deeply understand. But I carefully recalled the more than ten years I lived with him, and I really couldn't find any clues. ”

"Or did he take his feelings to heart and didn't show them?"

"No, I know very well that he has never loved a woman in his feelings. But why was I born? Also, why did he keep pretending to be my adoptive father even though he was my biological father? Why did he die so bizarrely? These things have been weighing on my heart until I went to meet him in Jinshi Town this time, and I didn't figure it out. Speaking of this, Ruan Zhan let go of Xiao Xia, "Look at me, Xiao Xia, the person who is in front of you now, in fact, from the moment he was born, was not treated as a human being, but as a tool, a tool to stop the disaster." Do you understand? I wasn't born out of my parents' love, I wasn't even the product of impulse, I was just a tool! ”

"Slow, slow! What do you mean by that, I don't understand! Xiao Xia was a little stunned, and looked at Ruan Zhan's self-denial and self-loathing expression, and was extremely distressed.

Ruan Zhan exhaled a long breath, as if to express the depression in his heart, "My biological father, Ruan Tianyi, did an incident thirty-three years ago, and this incident caused serious consequences, very serious, so serious that he could not solve and bear it by himself, and after this evil result appeared, it would hurt many people, including himself, and the harm was even unimaginable. ”

"What did he do?"

"He won't tell me about it!" Ruan Zhan shook his head, "But I can see that it was what he did that caused the evil qi to linger in his body, and this evil qi would slowly erode into people's bodies and souls. Thinking about it this way, his bizarre death back then may also explain that his physical body must have been unable to control the evil qi, and if he did not retreat, the evil qi would confuse his sanity, causing him to unknowingly harm others, and even harm the entire town. He is a cultivator, his cultivation is still very deep, and his soul is far stronger and more powerful than his body, so he faked his death for more than ten years and lay in the coffin, using the crystal knife to vent his evil spirit. Apparently, he didn't succeed, so he broke out of the coffin with the help of a mysterious person. The question is who is that mystery man? Also, he said that he didn't know that I was looking for him under Sima Nan's guidance at that time, but because even in suspended animation, he couldn't control himself. ”

"Is it so powerful?" Xiao Xia didn't know much about Taoism, but looking at Ruan Zhan's expression, he knew that the evil consequences caused by Uncle Ruan's actions were indeed quite serious, and he had already harmed his appearance before he had a seizure, and if he couldn't suppress it, it would be very terrifying.

"In his true death, we blamed the demon boys. My father, who came out of the ground and wanted to come and see me quietly, found that we were worried about the demon boy, so he also went to Xi'an to have a look. But when he faked his death, he couldn't control his evil energy, how could he resist the long-distance travel and the steaming of yang energy? There, he had a vicious attack, and he had no choice but to really abandon his physical body and become a soul body from a person. And the reason why he went to Tietou Mountain in Jinshi Town was also to vent the evil qi that had plagued him for half his life. ”

"Still doesn't work?"

Ruan Zhan shook his head with a wry smile, "It's not getting better at all, in fact, it's getting worse every day." I don't know exactly what he did, but the evil aura was like cancer, and he had been treated in various ways, but it was still spreading. Until, on my thirty-third birthday, after midnight, it was the last moment of one of his exercises. At this critical juncture, his control of the evil qi will be minimized, and it will be a total lunar eclipse that day, without the suppression of the moonlight essence, all the evil and all the darkness in the world will burst out with the strongest power. On the other hand, he would have become a demon on that day, and he would no longer recognize his friends and relatives, and he would no longer be able to distinguish between good and evil, and he would no longer have been able to tell the difference between good and evil, and if he had not found a better way before. ”

"What method? It can't be related to you, right? As if realizing something, Xiao Xia's face changed suddenly, and his hands tightly grasped Ruan Zhan's sleeves, and his knuckles turned white due to excessive force.

Ruan Zhan looked at her face, with all kinds of tenderness and reluctance in his heart, but he didn't have a choice, "It's me, I'm the solution to the problem, I was born to stop this matter." ”

"Is this dangerous?" Xiao Xia asked in a low voice, it seemed that the louder the voice, the greater the danger for Ruan Zhan, "You just said that it would be life-threatening-"

"That's what I had to do, and I knew at a very young age that it was going to kill me, and it's only today that I understand what it's for. On that day, I will stop my father from becoming a demon, completely eliminate the evil energy that haunts him, and complete the mission I was born to bear. If it's someone else who has to help, I don't care about it, I just keep you. But that's my father. It doesn't matter what he gave birth to me for, after all, he gave me life and raised me. At the very least, I'm going to pay him back, even if it's with my life! Ruan Zhan caressed Xiao Xia's face, his eyes were gentle as dripping water, hiding deep attachment and reluctance, "Wanli and Bao Datong both know about this calamity, only you don't know, so I will avoid you." It's not that I don't love you, it's that I can't afford it. I'm not a man with my own life, I'm just a tool to eliminate demons. ”

Xiao Xia slammed into Ruan Zhan's arms, "Don't talk about yourself like that!" She hugged him with all her strength, "No matter what your past was, your present and your future belong to me." As long as I care about you, you are the most important person in the world! Don't you understand? You are more important to me than life, more precious than everything! ”

"I know! I know! With you, my life is enough. Even if I do die, I don't have any regrets, but what do you do? If I really can't survive this catastrophe, Xiao Xia, what are you going to do? Ruan Zhan said bitterly.

"I won't commit suicide, then my parents will die of sadness, and I won't do such irresponsible things." Xiao Xia let go of his hand, looked at Ruan Zhan's eyes and said, "But I won't allow you to die, because you are already mine, I just stamped it, you must be with me." If you dare to die, and the poor fall into the Yellow Spring, I will chase you back, and I want you to come back alive! ”

Xiao Xia said fiercely, and she really thought so. Since they love each other, they have to defend each other! And in this mood, there is also distress for Ruan Zhan. It turned out that he carried so much alone; It turned out that he had always wanted to give her happiness, so he would refuse her; It turned out that he wanted to bear all the hardships alone! Therefore, in the future, she will love him more and let him be the easiest and happiest person in the world!