The most important reason why my body will lose weight like this is that during my time in the mental hospital, I couldn't sleep almost every day.

The North Town Psychiatric Hospital is a public hospital, and most of the people who live in it are homeless and mentally ill. It's not just mental illness, it's all kinds of diseases here. Like syphilis, AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases...... No one cares about the patient's condition, and no one cares. The people who were sent here were all like me, either disgusted or running to die.

Because of the special circumstances of my case, I was arranged by the dean to live in a single room. For the first few months, I was so depressed that I didn't pay attention to my surroundings at all. Aside from thinking about how to die, I don't have any hope for life.

What I didn't expect was that during the Spring Festival of the second year after I stayed in a single room, a drunken psychiatrist and a male nurse slipped into my hospital room at night. They tied me to the bed and beat and cursed me constantly. Compared to me, who had a cold face, they looked more like psychopaths.

In the name of rounding the room at night, several big men pressed me to the bed and gang-raped me.

As the only female patient with a net worth of innocence, I was the go-to sexual abuse of these doctors and nurses. Every night, different people come. Sometimes it's rape, sometimes it's beating, sometimes it's abuse...... The nerves that the medical staff had been tormented by the patients were soothed by me.

During my hospitalization, Huang Jiahe often came to visit me. I remained silent about what happened to me. In my heart, I feel that all this is what I should receive. All the physical pains became the salvation of my soul.

It's been three years, and I feel like I've paid it back enough.

The sky began to get brighter, and the green fluffy roof slowly became clearer. I got up from the ground in silence and ate the steamed buns I bought yesterday.

When Lu Sheng woke up, I ate most of the steamed buns in my hand. I didn't look at him, I sat intently on the steps and ate. Lu Sheng half stood up, and he looked at me quietly.

It was hot and humid inside, I hadn't drunk water all night, and my lips were dry. The action of biting the steamed bun is too large, and the lip is cracked. The bright red blood sticks to the white steamed buns, and it looks shocking. As if I hadn't seen it, I continued to put it into my mouth with a blank look.

"Nono."

Lu Sheng's voice was hoarse and hoarse when he first got up, and his tail was shaky, sounding like he was crying. I ate the last bite of steamed bread and patted off the steamed bun residue on my hand. Slowly, he got up from the ground and walked to the kitchen.

"What the hell do you want to do!" Lu Sheng, who was ignored by me, was completely angry, and he tore the steamed bun bag in my hand and threw it to the ground: "I admit it, I owe you!" What do you want, you say! I'll pay you back! I'll pay you back! If you hate me, I'll let you stab me twice!" Isn't that so the two of us can write it off! ”

Lu Sheng's expression was complicated and tangled, maybe he was not as calm and indifferent as he seemed. After all, one person's success is burdened with the blood debt of another family, and no one will feel too comfortable. Lu Sheng's fingers were inserted into his hair, he tugged at the hair vigorously, and said, "Nuno, you tell me a word." Anything, say a word to me. ”

After standing still for a while, I suppressed the anger and resentment I wanted to erupt.

In the past, I would probably yell at Lu Sheng and vent all my resentment towards him...... But this kind of behavior is completely useless, and after I vent, Lu Sheng will start a new life in strides as if he has been forgiven. I could stab him with a knife, but after the stabbing was over, Lu Sheng would bandage the wound and say to everyone, "I owe Lu Nuo, but I also pay back what I owe her." ”

I don't want him to pay me back everything he owes me, and I don't want him to write it off with me.

The sadness that wanted to break out of my body was suppressed by me, and the position of my heart was sullen and painful. I said coldly and emptily to Lu Sheng for the first time in three years: "You can go." I have signed the divorce agreement. ”

The freshly bonded wound on the lip was torn open again, and blood ran down the corner of the mouth to the chin. I wiped it off with my hand without care, and turned around and walked away without any hesitation.

"Lu Nuo!"

Lu Sheng's voice echoed in the building, and the building was buzzing, like the wailing of my parents.

I didn't look back, and Lu Sheng won't have the courage to catch up again. I said in a cold tone: "You go, whether it is necessary or not, in this life, we don't want to meet again." ”

"Nono." Lu Sheng took the divorce agreement, he hesitated to the door and said, "Can you call me again?" Call my name again. ”

I thought I would never cry again in my life, but when I heard Lu Sheng's words, I couldn't help but fall down my tears. I don't know what this unsympathetic man thinks, but my mind is full of fragments of how we used to live together.

"Lu Sheng, hurry up! We're going to be late for class! ”

"Lu Sheng, are you awake? You said you were going to go to the movies with me today! ”

"Lu Sheng, don't you always work! I should tell my dad to give you a job at a leisure's pace, or you won't have time for me!" ”

"Lu Sheng, I am willing to marry you!"

"Lu Sheng......"

Lu Sheng calmly opened the door and walked away with everything that belonged to me. The gate closed, and countless clouds of dust fell.

As I expected, Lu Sheng's sensational move was undoubtedly his desire to say goodbye to his past. And I have no relationship or involvement at all. From beginning to end, what he wanted was his peace of mind.

The moment the door closed, the tears in my eyes were all evaporated. I slowly walked back to the steps and sat down, my heart was clenched by great sadness, and I bent down a little in pain: "Dad, Mom, I'm back." ”

The room was so quiet that even my deep and shallow breathing echoed. The wooden staircase floor makes a noise from time to time, as if someone has just walked by.

I pressed the pain in my heart and held a position from morning to noon, from noon to dusk. It wasn't until night approached and someone rang the bell outside the house that I was pulled away from my sad and complicated thoughts.

When I opened the door, there was Huang Jiahe standing outside.

"There was a bit of a traffic jam on the road." Huang Jiahe didn't look up at me, he dragged up the heavy suitcase behind him and walked into the house: "Have you eaten lunch?" What about dinner? ”

"Jiahe ......"

Huang Jiahe stopped his busy chattering movements, he grabbed my arm, bent over and looked at me intently and complicatedly: "Nuonuo, can you tell me what you want to do when you come back this time?" ”