"At that time, I was asked to go home by school, and when I came home, I saw my grandmother and my brother, and I felt much more scary than at school. Qin Xuyang, maybe you don't believe it, the moment I entered the door, I was extremely grateful to you for sending me to school, so that I don't have to carry this heavy burden anymore. That's when I realized that I was supposed to be studying in school. I had friends at school. With the care of the teachers, although they occasionally showed sympathy, most of the time, they treated me as an ordinary student, and I realized how happy I was to be an ordinary student at that age. It turns out that you don't have to think about anything except grades. ”

After Lu Yu finished speaking, he looked up at Qin Xuyang, he knew that he must have bitterness written all over his face now, but he wanted to look up at him, as if only by looking at him could he save himself from this bitterness.

At this time, Qin Xuyang also looked at Lu Yu, his mood was a little uncontrollable.

Then I heard Lu Yu continue: "Qin Xuyang, I don't seem to have ever told you about my family, are you willing to listen?" ”

Qin Xuyang faintly felt that this must be an extremely unpleasant story, but he still nodded, raised his hand and lit a cigarette for himself.

After a while, there was smoke around Qin Xuyang, but Lu Yu still looked at Qin Xuyang without blinking, as if only by looking at him could he have the courage to speak. He said:

"For as long as I can remember, I've been being taken out by my mom to make money, make commercials, and make TV series. When I got home, my mom had to take care of my grandma and my dad, and she was always so busy that she didn't have time to talk to me, but I knew she loved me very much. So I hated my grandmother since I was a child, because in her eyes, the most important thing in the world is my dad, she always scolded my mother, disgusted her for not taking good care of my dad, disgusted that she was always running around, but she knew that her son didn't know anything, just an ordinary worker, but he gambled all day long, my dad was always gambling, and if he lost, he asked my mom for it, and my grandma knew everything, but blamed everything on my mom.

Later, my dad gambled more and more, sometimes the money I made was not enough to pay off his debts, he beat my mother, my grandmother did not stop, and scolded, she even scolded me, she said that she blamed my mother for looking like a vixen, and then gave birth to a little monster like me, what is the use of making money if I look good, if I don't earn too much money back, my dad will not be addicted to gambling, and he will not owe so much money, so these debts should be paid by me.

At that time, I felt that my mother and I were like slaves to their mother and son. You must never imagine that there will be a father, holding his son who is still in elementary school and crying, begging him to pay off his debts, I sometimes even think that my grandmother is right, if I didn't earn so much money, that money would be too easy in their eyes, so my dad just thought about squandering, and my grandma never cared about it, because she thought that I would definitely be able to earn it back. She just weird the world and won't blame her son.

Later, I started to lose money, and many people commented that I was visually tired of me, and I didn't seem to grow up, I was a teenager, and I was still so young. However, my dad and my grandmother didn't know all this, he was very happy to win a bet once, and he was going to take the whole family on a trip, which was probably the only time in my life that I felt the warmth of the family, and then I had my brother. My dad assured the family that he would never gamble again. I also began to have hope that as long as I was obedient, everything would be fine.

But later, my dad went to gamble again, and lost a lot, a total of 8 million, and my mother had to take me around as soon as she was out of confinement. I signed several contracts for TV series, and I only made up three million, I haven't been to school for a whole year, and I used to occasionally go to school, that year, I basically filmed all day long, and then I couldn't get the drama anymore, because the audience said that it was really boring to watch. My mother ran everywhere, begged people everywhere, and couldn't find the crew willing to ask me, she was scared and didn't dare to take me home, she asked me at that time, if she ran away with me, would I be willing. I didn't even have time to answer her, but my dad came to me.

Later, my mother went crazy, I knew that she must be crazy, so she wanted to strangle my brother in the middle of the night, and if I stopped her, she was going to strangle me, and she said that as long as we all died, we all died, we didn't have to suffer anymore, we didn't have to be beaten anymore, we didn't have to make any more money. I believed her at the time, but then my dad stopped me. My mom was knocked unconscious by him, and when she woke up, she only asked me one thing, and he asked me if I could take care of my brother if she and my dad died, and I actually knew at the time that she might never live again, but I still told her that I could.

Later, she died, and so did my dad, you know? My grandmother actually hugged me and said that I would be her most important person from now on, as if she treated us as human beings. Qin Xuyang, how can I hate you, at that time I almost wanted to thank the nanny, thank her for not giving in to my grandmother. My mom and I, and even my dad had to listen to her, but she was always wrong, just because my mom was from the countryside, and if she married my dad, she was inferior, and she had to live like a slave, and you don't know that my grandma provoked all this.

However, I have to support her all my life, I can't beat her or scold her, just because she is my grandmother, even if she is so vicious, so selfish, even if she never thinks she is wrong until now, I have to support her. But none of you know, I feel disgusted even by calling her grandma, and I wish she could die with my father. ”

Lu Yu's tone was calm without any waves, from beginning to end, he didn't show any emotions that a normal person should have, when he said hate, there was no hatred, when he said love, there was no warmth, Qin Xuyang finished smoking a cigarette, only to suddenly find that his hands were a little trembling, this short cigarette effort, every word Lu Yu said made him tremble. He didn't dare to imagine how he, who was so young, could endure such a family and her mother's last madness.

He didn't dare to think about it, he didn't even dare to look at Lu Yu now, he didn't know what kind of emotion was in his good-looking eyes, he even breathed a little heavy, until Lu Yu breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his head on his shoulder, he felt that he was supporting him, and the heaviness in his heart was finally not so uncomfortable.

Then he heard Lu Yu say to him, "Qin Xuyang, do you remember later?" I had my birthday in the second year of junior high school, you brought a cake to celebrate my birthday, it was actually my first birthday, since I can remember, no one has given me a birthday, my grandmother always said that it was a waste of money on birthdays, his son lost so much, she didn't say, but she just didn't even let my mother buy a cake. When I was a child, I didn't dare to go to other children's birthdays because they always smeared cakes on people's faces, but I wanted to lick and taste it, but I could only endure it desperately, I was afraid that they would laugh at it. ”

Lu Yu's tone was still calm, but this time, Qin Xuyang seemed to feel a trace of warmth on his shoulder, and he could release it.

He remembered Lu Yu's birthday that year, remembered his bright eyes when he looked at the cake, he was in a hurry, and arrived at Lu Yu's school very late, many places to buy cakes have been closed, and there are no ready-made cakes if they are not closed, and in the end, he used a signature to make a simple small cake for a sister-in-law's temporary overtime, he would never have thought that it would be Lu Yu's first birthday cake in his life. If he knew, he would have ordered him the biggest and most beautiful.

Qin Xuyang still raised his hand after all, and patted Lu Yu lightly on the head, but Lu Yu grabbed his hand and held it tightly. Qin Xuyang didn't break free, just quietly let him hold his hand, and listened to him continue:

"I took the first exam in junior high school for the first time, you gave me a mobile phone, I was in the school's parent-teacher meeting, you or Cheng Qian opened, and then my graduation ceremony, the school asked me to give a speech on behalf of the third year of junior high school, and all the parents who spoke on behalf of the past years will come to participate, looking at their children in the audience, full of pride, and I only have you. It was you who rushed to the auditorium at the end of the speech, it was you who watched me from the audience and were proud of me, and it was because of you that they put away their sympathetic eyes.

That day you clearly said that you didn't have time, but you still went in the end, only the mood you cared about, only you, you are so dazzling, so powerful, I can only forget those cruel past by looking at you. Qin Xuyang, you asked me why I like you, in fact, I really want to ask you now, how can I not like you? ”

Xu was too shocked by these pasts, and Qin Xuyang didn't reply in the end, but he didn't understand until this moment that in Lu Yu's barren and obscure world, he was his only light.