The 336th wiped away tears and continued to walk forward

Wu Jingzhong continued to reminisce about the past: "However, my talent is not good. ”

"In my small 9802 class, there are at least 20 students who are smarter and more talented than me, but their academic performance is always inferior to mine. Why? Because I know what I'm learning for. Because they are just studying step by step, taking the college entrance examination step by step, and looking forward to their future in ignorance, and I have seen the cruelty of fate and resolutely decided to change all this. ”

"Because I changed to a part-time job in my spare time, I stepped into society early, and I saw the light and the darkness; I have seen good, and I have seen ugliness; I have seen contentment, and I have seen greed; I have seen mildness, and I have seen tyranny; I've seen loyalty, and I've seen betrayal. Society is chaotic, and although it cannot be described as false, evil, and ugly, it is difficult to deceive oneself and say that there is truth, goodness and beauty everywhere. If you succumb to fate and stagnate, you may be delusional that there is more truth, goodness and beauty in this world than falsehood, evil and ugliness because you are not threatened; If you are unwilling to succumb to fate and move forward, every time your social status improves, it means that some people's social status has declined. Those who feel that you are a threat to him will inevitably attack you in various forms because of your threat, and all kinds of ugly things will come to him. ”

"I've seen countless jealousies along the way."

"There are from relatives, there are from neighbors, there are from classmates, and there are from colleagues."

"They're afraid of my efforts, they're afraid of my positivity, they're afraid I'm going to take their place, they're afraid I'm going to overtake them. At the same time, as a latecomer, in addition to hard work and perseverance, my network resources are naturally far inferior to theirs, so that they often tacitly unite to exclude me, make things difficult for me, and give me the hardest and most tiring work. Of the ten hardest and most tiring jobs, if I complete nine of the most difficult and tiring jobs, I will be desperately attacked by them for grabbing the missing one, which is really 'do more wrong, do less wrong, and don't do good'. ”

"In order to break through their exclusion, in order to break through their blockade, I have to redouble my efforts and pay ten times as hard as them."

"I want to succeed."

"I want to break the shackles that fate has brought upon me."

So, when the opportunity came, I didn't hesitate to say yes. I will return triumphantly as a hero, despising my colleagues who rely on their parents to shelter them. ”

Wu Jingyi smiled on her cheeks.

Her brother has not changed, and he is still the positive Wu Jingzhong.

In Wu Jingyi's memory, her brother is always full of positive energy. If it weren't for her brother's example and encouragement, Wu Jingyi would have been unable to bear the resentment under the fence and the ridicule of her classmates for her shabby clothes for several years, and she would have come to this day steadily.

After more than ten years of hard work, Wu Jingyi finally ushered in a counterattack of fate, not only is she a fourth-level employee of the Spring and Autumn Group at this moment, but also a fourth-level employee of the Spring and Autumn Group is by no means her upper limit. Compared with the group of classmates in junior high school and high school, Wu Jingyi seems to be the ugly duckling who turned into a white swan in a fairy tale. The reason why Wu Jingyi called Shi Mengxian, who is also a relative and friend, to Panyang City, was not only to help her as much as she could, but also to show off her success to the ridiculers back then.

Feeling that her brother was still her brother, and that her brother was still her pride, Wu Jingyi's emotions gradually eased: "Then what? ”

Wu Jingzhong: "When I was serving as an Internet policeman, I didn't know much about the concept of the Alliance Party, but I silently collected information with the chicken soup for the soul of 'opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared'. After I was officially ordered to infiltrate Narnia, I began to formally study the theory of the alliance in order to better complete the mission. Who knows, this serious study, my old values will be shattered by the impact of the Alliance Party ideology. ”

"It's like I just said the difference between price and value."

"I have long realized that what I am pursuing is not the realization of self-worth, but the realization of self-price, but the vulgar pursuit of social status jump. I studied hard to cope with the college entrance examination back then, and it was only because the college entrance examination could help me cross the single-plank bridge, not because I sincerely liked the ocean of knowledge; I accepted the mission of latent Narnia only because my heroic exploits might help me to be promoted to the rank of knight, not because I was sincerely willing to sacrifice my life for the Chinese nation. ”

"I'm the opportunist that everybody ridicules."

"I'm selfish after all."

"The most ridiculous thing is that the object of my pursuit is actually meaningless. A monthly salary of 10,000 or 20,000 yuan does not change the fact that I am a screw in the market economy; The fact that I am a deputy or a principal of the title does not change the fact that I am a screw in the system. ”

"If I were Lei Feng with the spirit of screws, I might be satisfied with the status quo, even if I am just a grassroots clerk for the rest of my life, I can serve the people optimistically."

"But, I'm not."

"I don't want to be an obscure screw."

"Thirty years of hard work, thirty years of hard work, what supports me forward is precisely the spirit of fighting against fate. Fate gave birth to me in a small ravine, and I just wanted to get out of it; Fate is to tattoo the label of poverty, I just want to get ahead and prove to those second generations that 'princes and generals, would you rather have a kind?' ’”

"Along the way, I'm proud of my strength, I'm proud of my perseverance, and I'm confident in my efforts. But after studying the theory of the Union, I was shocked to realize that my pursuit was meaningless. Getting out of the ravine and getting ahead does not mean that you have achieved your self-worth. The monthly salary of 10,000 or 30,000 yuan is the price set for me by the market economy, which reflects that I am becoming more and more qualified as a human resource. I kept shouting to break the shackles of fate, but the cruel reality was that I had been dominated and played with by fate. I'm like the protagonist of those fantasy fairies, the earth-shattering slogans shouted against the sky, but in fact they are just dolls manipulated by readers, authors and editors, which is really ridiculous. ”

“……”

"And then, I broke down."

"I don't want to do meaningless things anymore."

"If the spy is not what I want, why should I force myself?"

"At this moment, I don't know who I live for, and I don't know who I die for......"

"I don't have anything to strive for."

Wu Jingyi roughly understood Wu Jingzhong's entanglement.

Wu Jingyi didn't understand Wu Jingzhong's frustration, so she had to do her best to comfort and comfort Wu Jingzhong: "You still have me and my parents." ”

Wu Jingzhong smiled.

Wu Jingyi: "If the previous goal is meaningless, then look for a new goal?" ”

Wu Jingzhong did not answer.

For a long time, Wu Jingzhong looked at the carefree children playing in the skating rink from afar: "No matter how public opinion scolds me, no matter how the organization punishes me, I will no longer be a spy." Of course, people are responsible for their own choices. Since I have become a deserter, I will humbly accept all the punishments of the organization. Even if the organization decided to sentence me to death, it would only blame me for going the wrong way back then. ”

"Before coming to Panyang City, I went back to my hometown. Walking on the familiar road and reminiscing about the past, I feel as if I have lived for 30 years in vain, and what I have done is meaningless......"

Wu Jingyi interrupted Wu Jingzhong's self-denial: "How can it be said that it is meaningless? At least, without your desperate part-time work to make money to make up for tuition, I am sure that I will drop out of school after graduating from primary school, and the most optimistic result is also a small general worker in the electronics factory in Wuping District. ”

Wu Jingzhong smiled.

Only Wu Jingyi's growth can make Wu Jingzhong feel that these thirty years of hard work are not meaningless.

At least, Wu Jingyi is able to be self-reliant.

At the very least, after Wu Jingzhong is sentenced or serves a prison sentence, he does not have to worry about his parents having no one to take care of him. If it weren't for the phone call to Wu Jingyi a few years ago, knowing that Wu Jingyi's path after graduation would have been smooth, Wu Jingzhong would not have dared to arbitrarily choose to end his meaningless spy lurking career.

Wu Jingzhong silently looked forward to his future life: "If I can get away with it this time, I vow that I will not pay attention to the distortion of the market economy on the price of human resources in the future, and wholeheartedly realize my true self-worth." ”

Wu Jingzhong knew everything about his sister, and told Wu Jingyi everything he thought truthfully.

Wu Jingyi couldn't understand Wu Jingzhong's choice after all.

However, Wu Jingyi is willing to try to accept it.

After the heart-to-heart conversation, Wu Jingyi occasionally encouraged Wu Jingzhong to regain his strength, but unfortunately the effect was expected and very regrettable. Twelve days later, the relevant departments suddenly came to take Wu Jingzhong away. However, after negotiations with the Ukrainian Union, the relevant departments announced that Wu Jingzhong was sentenced to two years and eight months in prison, considering that Wu Jingzhong's unauthorized escape had not caused serious consequences and that Wu Jingzhong himself had actively cooperated.

Wu Jingyi saw off her to Panyang West Railway Station and said goodbye to her brother in tears. At this moment, Wu Jingyi was in no mood to complain about Wu Jingzhong's choice, and did her best to appease her brother's emotions: "Serve your sentence well, we will wait for you to come back." ”

Wu Jingzhong once again regretfully apologized: "I'm sorry for disappointing you." ”

Wu Jingyi: "Don't blame yourself, we'll wait for you to come back." ”

Wu Jingzhong instructed his sister: "Mom, Dad, please take good care of you." ”

Wu Jingyi raised her right fist and said with a smile with tears: "Don't worry, I've grown up." ”

Wu Jingyi silently watched the train roar away.

For Wu Jingyi, Wu Jingzhong's imprisonment was like a bolt from the blue, who would have thought that her brother, who had been a role model since childhood, would suddenly become a criminal.

However, no matter how bumpy the fate is, life will go on.

Wipe away tears.

Keep moving forward.

Moreover, with only 32 months in prison, Wu Jingzhong will be released from prison in 2016.

2016, not far away.

During the time that Wu Jingzhong was in prison, she Wu Jingyi had to become better and do her best to fill the gap left by Wu Jingzhong's imprisonment. Wu Jingzhong worked hard part-time to make up tuition fees and screen schools to apply for the exam, which led to her Wu Jingyi's success today; Now that her brother is in trouble, it is Wu Jingyi's turn to take on the challenge to help Wu Jingzhong get out of the predicament.

The younger sister who was taken care of by her brother back then has been able to repay her brother.

Wu Jingyi silently comforted herself like this.