However, it may be that his physical strength is exhausted, and he feels sleepy when he leans against the wall, and his eyelids start to fight after two yawns. Ah Ping was facing away from me at this time, so he didn't notice when I tried to brace my spirits and suddenly fell to the side with a dizzy head.

There was a loud bang, and I fell to the wooden bucket where I was carrying water, and I overturned the bucket with me. The movement was so loud that it was impossible for Ah Ping not to react, but when he felt a flash in front of him, he hurried over and surrounded me and asked urgently, "What's the matter?" ”

I replied angrily, "I'm a little sleepy." ”

His eyebrows were furrowed, his face was calm, and when he was about to pick me up, he felt a flash in front of him, and then he heard Yan Qi's exclamation: "Xiao Yuan'er! "My heart was shocked, what should I do if Ah Ping came to hold my little Yuan'er in the barrel?

When he poked his head out from in front of him, he saw that Yan Qi had already scooped Xiao Yuan'er up from the barrel again, this time Xiao Yuan'er was crying and coughing, and looked at his father with accusatory and complaining eyes.

The two drafts finally made Xiao Yuan'er die of swimming and playing in the barrel, and was taken out by Yan Qi and Xiaoxiao after getting dressed. I was hugged into the chair by Ah Ping, his face was very ugly, and he wanted to say something, but it was difficult for him to turn his face around even if he said anything in the situation just now, so he was silent.

After being quiet for a while, my eyelids were fighting again, and I really felt sleepy. But at this moment, I suddenly heard him say, "Doesn't it hurt?" ”

I was stunned, and it took me half a beat to come back to my senses: "It's okay." But when he pressed his palm lightly on his lower back, my face immediately changed in pain, and I couldn't hold back so that I didn't cry out in pain. When he fell to the ground just now, the handle of the bucket rested under him, and he felt pain at that time, and there should have been abrasions on his legs, but he couldn't see it when he was covered by Luo's skirt.

"Why are you so strong? Do you still have to cover it up with me? And since you're sleepy, why didn't you bring it up to me? I was confused by the aggressive question, and his next sentence was, "Lan, are you avoiding that or are you avoiding me?" ”

My heart was shocked, and I blurted out, "What nonsense are you talking about?" ”

But I saw him staring at my eyes deeply, and asked word by word: "Do you dare to say that you have no grudge against me in your heart?" I opened my mouth, but the words were in my throat...... Denial is a subconscious act, but from the heart also ask yourself: really not complain at all? I can't answer.

In fact, I didn't think much about what happened that day these days, but my thoughts became silent and slow, because I didn't dare to think deeply, for fear that I would go crazy.

At this time, Ah Ping picked up some things that should have been buried, and he knew that he didn't want to escape as much as I did. That's right, we're all running away from this, otherwise he wouldn't have come to force me out of the dormitory until today.

It can be said that that day became a common knot in our hearts, and he does not want to let this knot become a cancer today.

I took a deep breath and confessed softly, "I have a grudge. I complained that if you had arrived earlier that day, it would have been impossible for the concubine's people to swing sticks on Xiaotong and Yan Qi, and I wouldn't have to stand up to stop it; I complain that the root of all this comes from you, the concubine belongs to the Li Lin family, if you hadn't provoked her, how could something happen later? ”

Turning his eyes to a certain point in the space, he said in a quiet voice: "But I understand that I can't blame you, to be honest, you must have rushed over as soon as you heard that something happened here, just because you were still in the court at the time, and the concubine deliberately pinched this time, intending to take advantage of your absence to suppress me and the people in the Orchid Garden; And then there is the root, if it is not the Li family, there will be the Qin family, and if it is not the Qin family, there will be other families, and there will be no escape at all, as long as you are in your position, the space you choose will be condensed and condensed, even if you don't want to, you can't do anything. ”

Look, I can sort out these truths, but I can't get past that hurdle in my heart.

Because who can I blame? Who else can I blame but myself and him? Do you want to complain about Xiaotong? Resentful Yan Qi? The two of them were affected by me. In that situation, if I hadn't come forward, would I have watched them die? And whether it is Xiaotong or Yan Qi, it is because of me that I came to this palace.

Usually complaining can only be about the person closest to me, for no reason, why wasn't he there when I was most helpless and desperate? Even if he arrives a little late, he may die and part. This is not to say that things that can be passed by casually, it is related to life and death, and it is related to the little life that has never been met.

How can I not complain? How can you let yourself go and enjoy all this again?

Ah Ping remained silent as he listened to me, but the palm holding me became very tight, which made my shoulder feel a faint pain. Obviously, my words touched and hurt him.

But there was no way, since he chose to tear the wound open, it must be painful for me, and he also hurt. Because he is the only person in this world who can empathize with me, because that little lost life also belongs to him.

"Anything possible," he finally said, "I don't want that day to happen, but I can't turn back time." Lan, I know you blame me, even myself, but you can't send me to hell because of this. I was in hell once, and I know what it's like to be there, and loneliness, loneliness, and regret are all light, and they are not enough to express my state of mind, and it should be painful to the core. Do you know how scared I am that you won't wake up? Isn't it calm to look at me? In fact, how calm you are, how much panic you have. ”

When the sadness flows backwards, it no longer feels pain, only the dull feeling of numbness in the heart, like someone is grinding it with a dull knife. Tears slipped from the corners of his eyes and fell into his sideburns, and he pressed his face over and buried it in my neck.

There is always an entry point for being strong for too long, and today Ah Ping opened this entry and dissected himself as well, so at this time we are suffering the same pain. He has always left me with this vulnerable side, and at the same time, he has also made me let go of my grudge against him and let myself go.

The mood calmed down, I fell asleep in Ah Ping's arms, and for a long time I seemed to always lie down, but I had insomnia day and night, and I would often wake up as soon as I closed my eyes, and then opened my eyes until they were dry and painful. This time I finally fell asleep, and even if I felt movement around me, I just tightened into the warm embrace.

When I woke up, my brain was dull when I opened my eyes, and it took a while to wake up. The familiar environment made me feel at ease, although after a moment I remembered that this was not the home of Ginkgo Village, but the smell between my nose and the things I saw with my eyes were all home.

There was no one around, and the feeling of lightness when I got up and went down to the ground was gone, but I felt so hungry. I don't know how long I slept, I wanted to open the door and find that I was still wearing a middle coat, but I looked back at the coat resting next to the bed, and then looked at the wardrobe, or walked to the wardrobe. I rummaged through the old clothes and the new clothes, and I found a plain blue dress to put on.

Walking out of the inner room to the courtyard, I saw Xiaoxiao drying something and didn't find me, I walked over and saw a piece of herbs similar to black bark drying in the sieve on the ground, then Xiaoxiao saw me, and immediately said respectfully: "Niangniang, you are awake, the slave will go to prepare food for you." I waved my hand: "Don't worry, what about Ah Ping?" ”

Xiaoxiao was stunned for a moment, but I didn't realize who Ah Ping was, so I explained: "I'm asking the emperor." "I haven't gotten used to Ah Ping's identity for a while, including myself with an aggravated identity.

Xiaoxiao's face tightened, and he immediately said: "Back to Niangniang, the emperor went to the court early this morning, and he hasn't gone down to the court yet." ”

Going to court? I was stunned, "What time is it?" ”

"The time."

That's around ten o'clock in the morning? But I remember coming to this house in the afternoon, and I slept all night and the next day? Look up at the sun, and it could be.

"What about Xiao Yuan'er?" It was quiet inside and outside the house, and I didn't hear the children's movements.

smiled and replied: "The little hall went to the imperial study to study." ”

"Reading? Didn't you say that the emperor was in the last court? I was surprised and asked, and what kind of book did Xiao Yuan'er read at such a young age? But Tingxiao explained: "It's not the emperor who is teaching His Royal Highness, it's Mrs. Fang who is teaching." It was the emperor's will a while ago that the little palace went to the imperial study every day to read with Mrs. Fang. ”

"Who is Mrs. Fang?" When the words came out, I felt that it was inappropriate, how could I know about the officials in the harem. Sure enough, he smiled and said with an ignorant face: "The slave doesn't know very well, every time it is Gonggong Yan who sends His Royal Palace to the imperial study." ”

Grandpa Yan! A black line appeared on my forehead, and Yan Qi would have a black face if he heard that he was called his father-in-law.

When Xiaoxiao was preparing a meal for me, I kept thinking about whether there was an official surnamed Fang in this dynasty, Fang ...... Suddenly, there was a name in my vague impression - Fang Xiaoru.

During Aping's reign as emperor, he emphasized literature over military force, and Fang Xiaoru was one of the most important auxiliary ministers during his reign. I can't remember anything else, but there is one thing that I remember very clearly, that is, in the future, this Fang Xiaoru will propose to Ah Ping to withdraw the domain. And the dispute between Ah Ping and Zhu Di began with the withdrawal of the feudal domain.

I would like to meet this Wenchen Fang Xiaoru.

After finishing the meal, I walked to the imperial study with Xiaoxiao, and along the way Xiaoxiao proposed that I should not be too exhausted, because the lethargy for half a year has made my body empty, so I must slowly recuperate, and put medicine in my diet, and the medicinal herbs she dried in the hospital before were to be put into my daily diet.

I was silent for a moment and asked, "After I slept yesterday, did the emperor send a royal doctor to call for me?" ”

Xiaoxiao's eyes were surprised, "Niangniang, how do you know?" The emperor did send Imperial Physician Chen over at night, and talked deeply for a long time. Later, the slave and maid were passed in, and the slave and maid were told to make medicinal food for the mother every day according to the prescription, and in the future, the mother's meal will be under the control of the slave and maid. ”

nodded, she understands pharmacology, and has the prescription prescribed by the imperial doctor, and I don't have anything to worry about handing over the meal to her. And my focus is actually: "Did the doctor say that I suddenly fainted yesterday because of something?" ”

At the time, I judged that it was due to a lack of physical strength, and in hindsight, I am afraid that it may not be easy. But Xiaoxiao shook her head and said that the imperial doctor didn't say, just arranged how she would regulate my body for me, and I didn't think she was hiding it anymore.

Halfway through, I saw a group of people coming in front of me, and reminded with a smile: "Niangniang, the emperor has brought His Royal Highness back." ”