I don't know why I'm crying, and I remember that when I left the hospital, I also generously told Jiang Meiyuan, I just hope Zhuo Jing is good.

Then what do I do when I cry.

I don't know, maybe I know Zhuo Jing's character too well, I know that he is not the kind of person who is very enthusiastic. Unless the relationship is really intimate to a certain extent. Where will he deliver baby products?

Moreover, looking at Xiao Tian's tone, I think this person must be very familiar with Zhuo Jing, very familiar, and sent baby products, who would it be if it wasn't his wife? ?

My mind seems to be imprisoned in a dead end again, I don't know what I feel depressed and uncomfortable, the night is thick, I want to slap myself while crying, if he is really married, and has his own children, what I should do is to face it with a generous smile, I don't let this mention him. Don't let that person ask him, tell everyone that I let go, so what does my reaction mean? I can't put anything down yet!!

Xiao Gazi reacted a little helplessly to me, maybe he didn't expect me to suddenly collapse, after a long time, he signaled to me that he still wanted me to see, but I kept shaking my head, don't look at it, I really don't want to do this kind of masochistic behavior, until he left a little helplessly, I still sat there by myself, all eyes were stars. I think, Zhuo Jing is now the farthest star from me, Brother Ma took away his memory of me, and now Xiao Gazi inadvertently let me see the baby products he was about to give, all of this, is it telling me that the only one who is stagnant is myself?

When the sky was light, I leaned against the wall and trembled slightly, and walked into the house with red and swollen eyes, looking at the third sister who had not woken up on the kang, I pulled the quilt and covered my head and slew. Those who should go are gone, those who should blossom and bear fruit have also blossomed and borne fruit, one day, the third sister will also go to find Han Zheng, Ma Jiaolong, who is left in your world

I'm still sick, I don't know how I got sick, in a daze, I've been repeatedly remembering the appearance of Xiao Gazi attaching his hand to my heart, he should be feeling my heart, he wants to know who I actually want to see the most in my heart, but I didn't expect that my kindness. But all my pretense crumbled.

In fact, I hate myself very much for this inconsistency between the inside and the outside, I entrust my strength to the years, and rely on a long time to put on the armor and cross the thorns, but Xiao Gazi's unintentional kindness, but let me peek into the depths of my own unknown vulnerability, in fact, I myself, I don't know my own, I thought, forget, it's just talking, I spent more than a year to numb myself, but the moment I saw him, I lost my armor and was full of devastation.

Maybe I can fool everyone, but I can't fool myself.

Emotional ups and downs, just a momentary thing, after I recover from the disease, I will continue to live a swollen face and fat life, since I see this, the intention of God is obvious, maybe a year is too short, one day in the future, my heart can gradually precipitate, no, even if it is not precipitated for a lifetime, then I will not interfere with his life.

suddenly remembered what Cheng Baize once said, I didn't understand it at the time, but now I understand it all of a sudden, he said, 'The years are losing flesh day by day, and I will lose weight one day', referring to it, that is, I will forget Zhuo Jing, no, unless Brother Ma also takes away my memory, otherwise, I don't think I will forget him, even if I am reluctant in my heart, I want to bless him and watch him happy, because I will not deny it, I really love him.

Lying on the kang for three days, the third sister was not there when I got up, the white porridge and side dishes left for me on the table, I slowly opened the creaking door after I ate it all, the sun was a little dazzling, I squinted slightly, and suddenly found that this thing called the years, no matter how sad or joyful you are, will tirelessly push you forward.

The white sun shone on my body sweating, I pushed open the door, insisted on going to the ugly uncle's grave to sit, paralyzed on the kang like mud for a long time, I myself looked down on myself, raised my feet just stepped out of the threshold, unconsciously but stunned for a moment, there were a few pears on the ground, this is a unique wild fruit on the mountain, now eat very sweet and crisp, winter can also be made into frozen pears, Aunt Zhu in the winter to me and the third sister sent it, said that this is not a rare thing, but it is a specialty here, the fruit is very big, I picked it up and held two of them in one hand, looked around, raised my feet, and continued to walk towards Uncle Ugly's grave.

I ate the pears on the mountain, and then I held a straw stick, and I didn't have anything to say while sitting by the grave of my ugly uncle, but I was in a daze, and when the sun went down, I patted my pants and got up, and stopped halfway through, and turned back directly: "Haven't you come out yet?" ”

There was no movement behind me except for the sound of grass, and I gently tugged the corners of my mouth, "If you don't want to come out to meet me, it's not difficult for you, thank you very much, the pears are delicious." ”

'Baa'

I smiled and watched a child holding a lamb from behind a tree looking at me shyly and in amazement: "Do you know that I put the pears?" ”

I smiled: "I know, you are the first person in this village besides Aunt Zhu to send me good food, of course I know you." ”

"Sweet." He looked at me and smiled embarrassedly.

I nodded, "It's sweet, thank you." ”

"You're the first to thank me."

He put down the lamb in his hand, held the rope and looked at me in his torn clothes, scratching his head, "No one said thank you." ”

I walked up to him and touched his head: "Of course I want to thank you for such a sweet fruit, why is there only a lamb today, and the rest." ”

His eyes were red at the time, "I sold it, I bought medicine for my grandfather, and one of the ones that was sat by Tianbao died when he went home, and he was not cured."

I took his hand: "Don't worry, there will be lambs, huh?" ”

He sniffed, looked at me with red eyes and smiled: "Uncle, you are the first person to help me teach Tianbao a lesson, in this village, no one dares to say that Tianbao is in fact, I am also afraid of him" At the end, there was also a kind of guilt in his tone, as if he also felt that he should not have run that day.

I continued to hold his hand and smiled, "Uncle, no, you still call me Auntie, I'm not from this village, why should I be afraid of Tianbao, it's not right for him to bully people, especially if you are younger than him, it's nothing, don't care." ”

"Auntie?" He was stunned and looked at me with some puzzlement: "You are an uncle, and the people in the village say that you are a gentleman." ”

"Hmm," I squatted down in front of him and rolled my eyes and explained very carefully: "They call me Mr. because I do a job called sir, in fact, I'm a woman, it's just that I look more like a man, I'm tall, right." ”

He looked at me very seriously: "It's because you are dressed like a man, in fact, you said that you are an aunt, I can also see it." ”

I continued to touch his head: "Okay, anyway, the people in the village can call me whatever they like, but it's good that you know I'm an aunt, don't call me uncle in the future, you know." ”

"Then, Auntie, will we be friends in the future?"

I looked at him with honor and stretched out my hand: "Of course, we are friends!" Nice to meet you, my name is Ma Jiaolong! ”

He looked at my outstretched hand in surprise, pulled his clothes and rubbed his dirty little hand hard, and then shook it with me: "My name is Xiaoshanzi, and I am also very happy to meet you." ”

Just like the backward elements who are the worst in the class and are excluded together, the first friend I gained in this ravine was actually a teenager younger than me, he was obviously lonely for a long time, and suddenly I was at a loss for a while when I had such a big friend, and happily led me to his house, a house that was inseparable from the ugly uncle's family, and enthusiastically introduced me to his grandfather, who was doing work in the yard, and then carefully took out a few pieces of sugar from a rusty iron sugar box and gave it to me. said that it was bought for him by his grandfather during the Chinese New Year, and he was reluctant to eat it all, and he was going to eat it until this year's New Year, but I am his friend, so I naturally want to enjoy this highest level of treatment.

A few pieces of fruit candy that were about to turn bad deepened our friendship, and his grandfather, who seemed a little helpless at my arrival for fear of neglecting me, poked me in the heart, and this old man reminded me of my grandfather.

I don't know if his grandfather had ever heard what the villagers said about me, but I could tell that he was glad that his grandson had a man to talk to, so he made me a plate of their hardest dish, which was a plate of scrambled eggs, and when I left, I secretly pressed 500 yuan under the plate, and then followed Xiaoshanzi back hand in hand.

But the next day, the old man came on crutches, and gave me the money very persistently, and only said one word, thank you for being willing to make friends with my grandson.

I didn't catch up with the money, standing at the door of the ugly uncle's house and watching the old man's rickety back gradually disappearing, I suddenly felt that my act of giving money was too worldly, and even too much, I didn't want to figure out the old man's inner thoughts too much, but there is one thing I have to admit that my five hundred yuan, in addition to giving people a kind of sympathy that is innocuous to myself, makes people look as if they are waiting for me to give alms, and it is meaningless for Xiaoshanzi's real life improvement.

Fortunately, the old man stopped me from entering some kind of misunderstanding in time, and it can be regarded as an indirect way to let me know the crux of the problem, my actions will only make Xiaoshanzi comfortable for a while, but how to change the status quo of a family and a village, obviously, is troublesome.

"Auntie, can I ask you a question?"

I slowly came back to my senses and looked at him who was drawing on the ground with stones: "Ask." ”

He would accompany me to the mountains every day, just by the grave of the ugly uncle, and the lamb himself was grazing around, and he would play around me, and from time to time he would say a few words to me, holding a stone, and he looked at me very seriously: "Why do you want to be friends with me, the children in the village don't like me, and the adults don't like me." ”

I smiled, "Because you're so good, you're still like my brother, I like you." ”

"Your brother?" He was stunned: "Is my brother as old as me?" ”

"Hmm." I nodded: "In my impression, he's a little older than you."

"Then you like him very much, don't you?"

I shook my head: "I didn't like it before, I thought he was annoying, and later, I liked it a little, but he left me"

He looked at me as if he didn't understand, and said, "Where did he go, didn't he know that you were in our village?" ”

"Far away." I opened my mouth softly, touched his head and tugged at the corners of my mouth: "Don't talk about this, are you going to school next year?" ”

Xiao Shanzi looked at me a little sullenly: "I don't know, my grandfather said, this sheep will be sold when it is big and let me go to school, I want to go to school, but I have to go to the village next door to go to school, I have to live there to live in the school, I can't let my grandfather be at home by himself, I miss him, I don't know if I want to go to school, auntie, or you and the third sister will teach me together, so that I can learn what Tianbao and they learned, and I can accompany my grandfather at home." ”

I looked at him with a sad face: "But Auntie is not very good at studying, Xiaoshanzi, I still have to go to school, do you know." ”

He lowered his eyes and continued to draw on the ground with stones very carefully: "Then let the third sister teach me first, go to school and wait for the lamb to grow up."

I looked at what he drew and was gradually surprised: "You write the English alphabet?" What did the third sister teach you? ”

Because of my relationship, Xiaoshanzi often comes to me to play, and the third sister also likes him very much, such a child is somewhat cherished in the hearts of adults, but I didn't expect that the third sister actually taught him this?

He smiled and looked at me and scratched his head embarrassedly: "Well, the third sister said that if you learn this well, you will be able to talk to foreigners in the future, I heard Tianbao speak foreign language, he said Hello, I learned, but the third sister said that you have to learn this well, so that you can speak foreign languages in the future, and you can't learn anything else." ”

"Oh." I was stunned and looked carefully at what he wrote: "ABD twenty-six you are at the plenary meeting?" ”

Xiao Shanzi nodded: "I will, Auntie, you can test me, the third sister said that I will test me when I learn." ”

Maybe I don't think it's anything to watch a child like this in a big city, but in this ravine, this child has never been to school, and there is no TV at home, so he has learned the English alphabet, can you not surprise me!?

"Is it really a plenum?"

"Hmmm! Yes! ”

I lifted my mind and looked at him, "Okay, you can recite it for me first." ”

Xiao Shanzi looked at me without being stunned at all, and recited it very coherently: "Auntie, no matter where you pick a letter, I will!" ”

I looked at him with interest: "Well, the sixteenth!" "The demon fork is dead.

“P！”

"The second?"

“B！”

"The ninteenth?"

“S！”

I widened my eyes slightly, and suddenly realized what number I blurted out, looked at Xiao Shanzi, and said with a trembling: "Twenty-six?" ”

“”

"The third one!"

“！”

I took a stone and wrote down the English number that Xiao Shanzi said, and looked at it in disbelief and read out the last number: "The second? ”

"Auntie, you've passed this."

My eyes were a little swollen, and I looked at him woodenly: "Tell Auntie again"

"B, Auntie, what's wrong with you."

I sniffed and looked at the English letters written in front of me, and a wry smile jumped at the corner of my mouth: "Cheng Baize, are you interesting?"

P，B，S，，Q，D，，B。

I looked at the English letters, and slowly wiped them down with my hands, this fool, how tired he was hiding himself

"Auntie, you"

I got up directly, took a deep breath hard, turned my head, and shouted at the esoteric mountain: "Cheng Baize!" You big fool!! Big fool!!! ”

"Auntie, what's wrong with you, who is Cheng Baize, why did you cry all of a sudden."

"Didn't cry, Auntie didn't cry, he's Auntie's brother, Auntie just, missed him"

Holding his hand, I adjusted my emotions: "Let's go, let's go home." ”