Chapter 34: Old Scars Worry About
I envy Huang Ying's freedom, if I dared to refuse Chenxi's girlfriend request, maybe by now, we will still be a pair of good buddies. And the extreme beauty of that crush, I think, is enough for me to treasure in my heart for a lifetime.
He destroyed all my illusions about love. When I think of it, I hate that he used to despise my dedication and my heart so much.
Maybe for other women, falling out of love is a small thing. But I'm different, my love is only once, I have been given, I have been let down, my heart seems to have fallen into the abyss, and I no longer have the strength to look at that sacred emotion.
Huang Ying is different from me, in her eyes, the so-called love is not as real as a limited edition LV bag. Huang Ying said that she has been going around among so many men over the years in order to satisfy her own shopping desires.
I wondered why I became best friends with her, or maybe I was essentially the same person as her, but our purposes were very different. What she wants is material things that are easily available; And what I want is the unattainable love of countless people.
I went to work as usual, accompanying Xu Cheng to deal with various bureaus, and one night, Huang Ying called and said: Dayi, Chenxi is back.
I sighed, even though I had known that he was coming back, and when I heard the news that he was coming back, I couldn't help but exclaim.
She laughed at me, and then said: By the way, he seems to be walking with you, you be careful, maybe you will be recruited by Xu Cheng.
I sweated instantly, and then pretended to be calm and said: One line is one line, and it doesn't matter.
She laughed on the phone, she said: You have been secretly in love with someone for so many years, if you meet every day, the little deer in your heart must not be knocked out?
I laughed and I said, "How many years ago?"
We teased each other for a while and then hung up. It's been a long time since I've been on Weibo.
I looked at Chenxi's Weibo, and the tall atmosphere came to my face, villas, luxury cars, foreign wine, he was still handsome, and the woman with a pointed chin who smiled like a fox.
Every time I see it, my heart aches. In the past three years, he has never contacted me for a moment, and he was so cruel that he threw me like garbage, but he did not feel guilty. It was as if I had fallen in love with him, been by him, and had been labeled with his glorious label ever since, and that feeling of pity, every time I thought about it, my heart tingled.
Chenxi, I have never been proud of you for being on me, never.
Hate will never be forgotten, it will only be wordlessly hidden in the deepest part of the heart, not touched, not soothed, forever scarred. I think if Chenxi appears in my life again, if fate lets us meet again. I wouldn't forgive him so easily.
Because in my eyes, no one is qualified to throw away a person's true feelings like garbage, and forget them completely.
Chenxi, you're back. I'm ready.
I only hope that Heaven will not let me meet you again. I want to live the years quietly, and I hope you, preferably, don't appear in my life.
It was another sleepless night, closing my eyes and thinking back to the humble scenes of those years, and my palms were sweating from my palms......
When I got up the next day, I had to put on heavy makeup with two huge panda eyes, and I arrived at the company as quickly as possible. Even so, I was still late......