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How long did Brother Luo Heng not look at me again, and how long did he not say a word to me again, or even ...... This kind of care seems to be a dream. But it really happened to me. I used to think that until I died, Brother Luo Heng would not pay attention to me again. Is this a dream? If it's a dream, can I stop waking up again?

Luo Heng's change in attitude towards Shang Wan made her very happy every day, and the things she recorded were very trivial, that is, Luo Heng smiled at her, and she was able to write a long paragraph stupidly, and he smiled at me today. It's like the youthful crush of my youth, full of pages and pages.

Until the first two weeks.

Shang Wan wrote: I think, my life is coming to an end, I can't get out of bed anymore, it's hard to breathe every day, my heart is so uncomfortable every night that I can't sleep, I have to take a lot of medicine every day. I've always felt that God is unfair to me, why do other girls, everyone has a healthy body, a strong heart, they can laugh wantonly, run, fall in love, have children, and be with the person they like for a lifetime. But I have nothing, nothing...... But now I don't complain, but I am grateful. In my last days, Brother Luo Heng treated me as before, he would care about me, take care of me, be gentle, and speak softly, I was really happy and happy. It's just a pity that I don't have time anymore, I don't have any more time to spend with him. I never regretted what I did before, but now, I regret it.

I caused Brother Luo Heng to lose Wen Ruchu, and I left, when the time comes, who will accompany him? When he is happy, who shares happiness with him, and when he is sad, who will wipe away his tears for him?

Shang Wan, how could you be so selfish at the beginning!

No, I can't leave Brother Luo Heng alone, but what should I do? What can I do?

In the next week, Shang Wan only wrote one sentence: I seem to be selfish again, but Brother Luoheng, please forgive me again, forgive me for being selfish for the last time.

This sentence made people feel inexplicable, but Shang Wan didn't say more, and finally came to the last week's record.

Shang Wan wrote: Brother Luo Heng came to persuade me to have surgery today. This operation, my uncle has been persuading me to do it before, although there is only a 30% chance, but it is better than waiting for death, I don't want to, I don't have much time, I am already racing against time, how can I gamble with God on such a slim chance? If I die on the operating table, I won't be able to see Brother Luo Heng for the last time, I don't want to. But...... Brother Luo Heng asked me to go for surgery, and I would never fail to listen to his words. Even if he asked me to die now, I couldn't argue with it.

After the operation was scheduled, Shang Wan wrote her last diary.

Tomorrow is going to be an operation, and everyone is expecting a miracle, but I know that it is just a beautiful fantasy.

It's like me, I used to expect Brother Luo Heng to see my persistence, like me, and fall in love with me, but no, he still doesn't love me.

But I am already content, because in this life, even if I can't wait for Brother Luoheng's love, I have waited for his care and care, so death is no longer terrible.

If I die, will Brother Luo Heng leave a tear for me? Probably not, he hates me so much, hates me for meddling in his life, hates me for making him lose the woman he loves the most, hates me for forcing him to marry me, hates me for occupying the position that originally belonged to Wen Ruchu. But even so, I still hope that after I die, he can shed a tear for me, just a drop, hehe, it seems that I am still so greedy, so selfish, I can never change.

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