He grabbed my wrist, I looked down, pulled it back, I looked up at him, the first time I was on the edge of pain, but I didn't cry, I said firmly: "Li Zhao, I don't want to go back, you see me, I have achieved nothing since I was a child, I am thirty years old, I finally found something I like to do, it is possible, I can do something famous, but I see it all in vain, do you know how much thought, how much energy, how much effort?"

I used to pin all my hopes and goals in life on this.

But with a word from others, you can deny all of this, I'm not reconciled!

I'm not willing to stay with you for the rest of my life and be a waste! I'm going to leave..."

I lowered my head, saw the rain flooding my feet, and said bitterly: "Thank you, thank you for growing up with me, thank you for making my life colorful, but in this world, not only love can be satisfied, too tired, we are too tired, it is better to let each other go..."

Li Zhao grabbed my shoulder with all his strength and roared hoarsely: "Tang Wan! I won't let you go! ”

"I still remember a few years ago, when you taught me to ride, at that time, I didn't allow you to let go, but you said that it was not that I didn't want to accompany you all the time, but that if you want to learn to ride, I must let go."

I raised my head to meet his gaze again, and I saw the abyss in those eyes tumbling, scorching, tearing my heart.

I said, "Li Zhao, we have no fate after all, don't wait for me anymore..."

I shoved the umbrella into his hand and turned around and rushed into the rain...

The rain was still slowly falling, and in the hazy smoke and rain, I seemed to look back and see the figure of the little boy running towards me. But, this time, I won't wait for him any longer...

The rain in the world is also a kind of everything! Then, it will not disappear, at least in the time and space where the earth exists, it cannot disappear, so it is destined that he will not disappear in my heart, at least in the life of my existence, it cannot disappear!

This time I left him, it was the wind, the rain, the night, and a lonely road stretched to both ends...

When I entered the house, I was drenched and standing stupidly at the door, with the smell of rice coming to my nose, which was probably the first time that my lazy little master had cooked a meal for me.

But my body was leaning against the door, gasping for air, and it was... You can't take a step off your feet!

Teng Yichen hurriedly came over to support me, and I grabbed him firmly: "Bag!" My bag for me! ”

He hurried back to my room, handed me the bag, and I dumped the contents on the floor, and finally found the little medicine bottle, but his trembling hands could not open it.

Teng Yichen snatched the medicine bottle and helped me unscrew it, stuffed the medicine into my hand, I swallowed it in one gulp, he hurriedly handed over the water cup, until the medicine was in my stomach, I covered my colic heart and slowly slipped down the door and collapsed on the ground.

I rarely saw the little master's sad face, and he squatted down and pulled me: "Get up and eat." ”

He grabbed my wrists, and I was like a dead corpse, soulless, powerless, limp as mud, and he went to get a dry towel and threw it to me, and seeing that I didn't move, he had to pick it up again to help me dry the rain off my face, rub my hair and ask me, "Eat or shower first?" ”

"Eat, I'm hungry."

When eating, it is rare for Fuji Yichen to have no conversation, and even Elvis Presley Jackson is unusually quiet at home, I wanted to eat more, but I found that I usually have three bowls of rice, and I am full in one bowl today.

After eating, I quietly went to the bathroom to take a shower and change clothes, and when I came out, Fuji Yichen stood at the door, startling me.

He looked at me without saying anything, and as soon as I walked to the door, Fuji Yichen said behind me, "He's still outside." ”

I stopped abruptly, turned around slowly, and walked into the Zen room where I had been apprenticed, sat cross-legged on a futon, closed my eyes, and settled!

Teng Yichen walked in and said a little loudly: "I don't understand!" If you don't feel happy in your heart, he's outside, so why do you torture each other like this? I'm going to have angina! ! ”

I slowly opened my eyes: "Master, I lied to him. ”

He came up to me, and I murmured, "He must be so sad, and the thought of him being sad makes me want to dig my heart out!" ”

Teng Yichen took a futon and sat opposite me: "What do you want?" ”

"What can I do, since you told me that he would ruin everything, I was going to lie to him, but Li Zhao knows me too well, no matter how ridiculous I am, or he sees through it, I can't do anything about him.

I want to buy drunk bars every night, and even let him misunderstand that I am cheating, I deliberately treat him coldly, quarrel with him, I think, if we leave him when we are very in love, he will definitely be in pain, because his mind is full of our sweet memories, but if I use quarrel and doubt to erase those sweetness, so that if I leave, maybe I can temporarily paralyze his thinking.

But I still failed.

I asked Li Zhao before, are you tired? He said he was used to it, do you know how much it hurt to hear me say that he was used to three words?

He has been worried about Furun since he was 21 years old, and he has been under too much pressure that he shouldn't have been under too early, and for so many years, he has been thinking about me for me, and he said that he is not afraid of anything but my safety.

Master, you once told me that everyone has a weakness, and I am his biggest weakness, if I don't leave, he will always have to think about me, be constrained everywhere, be restrained by others, and will not be able to exert his strength at all.

Although none of you told me the consequences of the incident, I understand that I can't stay at all, if I stay, Pang Hua will ruin Li Zhao, make him in debt again, and he will never be able to turn over.

What's more, there are wolves in front and tigers in the back, Pang Hua and the Xia family are enough to annoy him, and he still has to worry about He Shishi's life!

Since I can't help him in this embattled war, what reason do I have to stay and hold him back!

There is no love that comes from life, love in the face of life and death, I can only choose the latter, at least, we still have memories.

But I knew that he wouldn't let me go, so I told him that I had chosen a career between him and the future, and I said I didn't want to be a waste by his side.

But Master, what if you can really stay by his side and be a waste for the rest of your life..."

There was no light in the Zen room, and the rain outside the window seemed to be getting heavier and heavier, so Fuji Yichen asked me, "But how can you be sure that he must have misunderstood?" ”

"I'm not sure, maybe he'll figure it out soon, so, before he does, please take me away as soon as possible!"

After speaking, I closed my eyes again, Teng Yichen got up and lit an incense stick and inserted it in the incense burner, and brought the incense burner to us, burning quietly, the leisurely sandalwood made me feel calm, I closed my eyes, and my mind was like a movie, replaying the bits and pieces of me and Li Zhao from early childhood to adulthood.

Every hour, the little master would go out and come back and tell me, "It's still there." ”

Then he sat down again and meditated with me.

And I kept my eyes closed, not moving.

The rain outside the window gradually became lighter, I heard the chirping of birds, the smell of the soil wafted in through the window after the rain, I slowly opened my eyes, I don't know when the sky was already dark, the little master seemed to notice my movement, got up and went out again, and walked in again a minute later, this time he didn't speak, until he walked up to me and squatted down, and whispered to me: "He's gone..."

He's gone...

I finally couldn't stop the landslide and the flood, and the whole person fell apart and cried bitterly...

……

But after the rain, the sky must be clear, and the sky washed by the rain is finally no longer foggy, but more blue!

Later, I went to see Tang Jia, he was already able to get out of bed, and when I went to the hospital, I saw Shen Ke walking with him in the garden downstairs of the hospital.

Shen Ke kept chattering and sticking his head out to say something to Tang Jia, like a lark, Tang Jia smiled gently, this smile was something I had never seen on Tang Jia's face.

I couldn't bear to walk up and spoil the beautiful picture, until the two of them got closer and closer and found me.

After returning to the ward, Shen Ke went to eat, and there were only me and Tang Jia in the ward, and I said to him: "Shen Ke is a good girl, you have to be sincere to others." ”

Tang Jia slanted his lower lip: "How do you know that I don't use my sincerity?" ”

I looked at him, and he smiled faintly: "Yes, she is a good girl, when she used to live next door to me, she came to annoy me every day, and then once I made it clear to her, she didn't come for a long time, and I was not used to it."

In fact, people's hearts are lonely, I have been adrift alone for so many years, and I also want to find someone to settle down.