I've never believed in fairness.

Since my mother gave birth to me, my father has never looked at me because I am a woman, and even my mother has gradually been left out in the cold. My aunt rode on my mother's head, but it was because she gave birth to a son to her father.

My mother is everyone's lady, she won't say anything, and she always tells me to endure it, just endure it. I was bullied by several brothers and brothers in the backyard every day, let them kick and beat, and I only remember the tears of my mother. So he bit his lip tightly and kept silent, and every time he went back with an injury, he secretly rubbed the medicine himself.

But the resentment in my heart is getting deeper and deeper day by day. Those lowly people, with all kinds of means to ascend to the top, why can they live a worry-free life. And I was originally the daughter of this Situ family, but I didn't even live as a subordinate?

Finally, one day, I couldn't take it anymore and picked up a stone and smashed the head of my big brother who was bullying me. But the consequence of this was that I was kicked to the ground by the third aunt who rushed over, and then my father came, and Sen Leng just looked at me quietly, and without saying a word, let people carry me to the study.

I thought he was going to punish me, or beat me, or make me copy a book a hundred times. But I forgot what a terrible wolf-like ambition this man had beenneath that loyal appearance, and he did nothing but let the strange old man standing in the study take me away.

I was only five years old at the time, and my later experience made me deeply wonder if I was Situ Heyu's biological daughter.

The eccentric old man took me to a very cold mountain and began to teach me martial arts. I struggled to get down to that cold pool, and I didn't want to practice any poisonous skills. I miss my mother's kiss, it's a big deal to go back and admit my mistakes, I want to go home.

But apparently it is no longer possible. The old man said: "If you want to protect yourself and your mother, become stronger, otherwise for Situ Heyu, you will always be a useless loser, and he will not pay attention to you." ”

I don't know which sentence moved my heart, and after hesitating for a long time, I agreed to learn martial arts with this old man. During the day, he soaked in the cold pool for three hours, and at night he slept in the open yard. Several times I was sick and dying, and the old man tried to save me again.

Gradually, I will do some kung fu, and I can also control some internal forces to protect my body from the invasion of cold. But at that time, the cold poison in my body was already very heavy, and there was no way to solve it.

The old man said that if I am lucky in the future and can meet the ice and snow pills made of ice and snow grass, I may be saved.

I studied with the old man for a year, and finally got my father's order to go back to my house.

I was only six years old at the time, and I don't know why my children's memories are so deep, probably because my memories and resentments are too heavy.

My father said that he would give my daughter-in-law the glory she deserved, and promised to abolish the extra aunts, as long as I was willing to enter the palace and do things for him.

I didn't hesitate to say yes. I know that although I am only six years old, I look very likable, and many people say that I have the appearance of the mother of the country, and when I grow up, I will definitely be the mother of the world.

Probably my father thought so too, so he sent me to the school where the princes and princesses studied, and asked me to find a way to get close to the fifth prince Xuanyuanzi.

I know that the emperor has no interest in state affairs, and it is a matter of time before he becomes a prince, and the most likely ones who can ascend to the throne in the future are the eldest prince and the fifth prince.

Obviously, the father gambled on the five princes.

I don't care, after all, the fate of women is like this, it doesn't matter if the five princes are good or bad, the important thing is the word prince. As the daughter of the Situ family, my fate is much better than the others, and I have nothing to complain about.

But when I saw Xuanyuan Zili for the first time, I was still stunned.

He stood by the pond in the palace and talked to Bu Yao, and his indifferent face reminded me of the cold pool where I had been. I couldn't help but take a step back, almost hitting the tree behind me.

Bu Yao saw me and motioned for Xuanyuan Zi to turn back. He turned his head to look at me, and to his surprise, the light in the eyes of this very good-looking person was cold, but it was not dark, not as dark as my heart, because when I saw it, I seemed to feel the sun, and I couldn't help but want to get close to him.

However, for me, the daughter of General Situ, who was very interested in other princes, Xuanyuan Zili seemed very indifferent, and turned around and left without saying a word.

I subconsciously followed, not remembering the reserve that my daughter's family should have, so I only pulled his sleeve and asked, "Are you the fifth prince?" ”

His expression was impatient, and he waved my hand away and said, "So what?" ”

I smiled, and for the first time I felt that it was still possible for me to be happy. If this person is my destination, then I willingly.

However, his father's order was: "Let him fall in love with you and find a way to be his princess." ”

I knew that my father's plan was far-reaching, and it was very likely that it would hurt Zili. But there is no way, my mother is still in Situ Mansion, and I am still the daughter of the Situ family, so I have to do it.

But the heavens testify that I really like him.

I tried a lot of ways to study with him in the academy for two years, except for me sticking to him, Xuanyuan Zili would not take the initiative to come to me at all. He was nothing special to me.

Until that time, I rescued him from falling into a pond and fell seriously ill.

Actually, it wasn't a disease, it was just that my cold poison would attack every once in a while, and it just happened that I collapsed after saving him that time.

My father was very happy, even though I was dying of pain. I went to the palace, and the next day, Xuanyuan Zili took the initiative to come to Situ Mansion to take care of me. The tenderness between his eyebrows and eyes is something I have never seen before, and at that moment I felt that it would be good to be eternal, and I wanted to be with him like this all the time.

I don't know if it's because of gratitude or what, but after that incident, Xuanyuan Zili seemed to fall in love with me, and made a promise to me that he would protect me for the rest of my life.

At that time, how did I know that a man's words were such an unreliable thing.

We both grew up, and he always treated me consistently, although he was later crowned a prince and married a side concubine, his position as a wife was always reserved for me.

I was very touched and wanted to marry him, but my father wouldn't allow it. At that time, the dynasty was in turmoil, and it was the time when the eldest prince and the fifth prince were competing against each other, but my father took me away to the frontier. I knew that my father wanted to reap the benefits, but he brought my mother-in-law with him, and I had to go with him.

As he was leaving, he said, "When you come back, I will make you the back."

I held back the sadness and excitement in my heart, smiled faintly at him, and then took my skirt and got into the carriage.

That man has always been a man of his word, and he will definitely do everything he promises. When I come back, I can marry him."

And I never thought about what Xuanyuan Zili had been feeling for me for a long time. It's true to say pampering, but it's about love... I'm a little uncertain. My mother comforted me and said that it would be fine when I came back, and everything would be fine.

But why, when I returned, he already had a princess?

I've seen that woman, cold and cold, very similar to him. It is said that he does not love her, and he does not spoil her much. Even by the time I returned, she had been beaten into the dungeon. It wouldn't have been a threat to me.

But I always heard news from the palace, saying that he personally went to the dungeon to carry people out, that he let her live in the Qianyuan Palace, that he demoted her to a palace maid. I became more and more uneasy, and went into the palace to ask him, but Zili still looked at me tenderly and said, "You will be the queen." ”

I knew that I would be the queen, and Zili also proposed to make me the queen, but Mo Zhiyuan's old thing blocked it, so it was delayed again and again. That's not what I care about.

He always said, I will marry you, you will be my queen. But he never said he loved me. I tried to ask several times, but in the end I couldn't.

Finally one day, the holy decree was issued, and I entered the Kunning Palace as the queen, looking at his face in front of the palace, I was nervous and excited.

At the same time, Mo Liangyue also entered the palace, took off her identity as a palace maid, and reappeared as a show girl.

It's a little ridiculous that I was afraid of her. Mo Liangyue's breath is too similar to Zili, both of them are equally cold, but Mo Liangyue is warmer.

I must be crazy.

On the night of the wedding, Zili lay quietly beside me, as if he had been poured too much wine by the ministers, and fell asleep.

I was a little unwilling, and reached out to untie his clothes. However, he frowned, grabbed my hand and pressed it on the quilt, and whispered, "Sleep, you must be tired today." ”

He didn't want to touch me because I wasn't in good shape and I was afraid of hurting me.

I don't know whether to cry or laugh, he still spoils me and the sixth house. I even asked the entire palace concubines to come and toast me, just to give me the majesty of the queen under the tree.

He loves me, I have been thinking like this, and then in the prosperous Kunning Palace, guarding him and waiting for him.

It wasn't until I saw the emperor's eyes looking at Mo Liangyue once that I began to doubt, does he really love me? Why can there be such a strong love and hatred in the eyes of a abolished princess, and to me, he is always as gentle as a pool of stagnant water?

It's like not being loved by my father, what is the reason why I am not loved by Xuanyuanzi? Gu Liangyue?

I don't believe in my mother's word of forbearance anymore, I have to take the initiative to keep his heart with me. Do you like Gu Liangyue? Then I'll send someone to kill her!" If you can't kill her, you have to make her suffer for the rest of your life!

However, what I had done for my father was revealed, and he took the opportunity to kill me. In fact, he had already wanted to do it, and when his father's ambition began to be exposed, Xuanyuanzi's eyes slowly changed when he looked at me. But I... I disobeyed my father and just wanted to stay with him.

He said he would protect me for the rest of my life, even if I played a little trick, so what? It's just because I love him!

Xuanyuan Zili, you should love me, have you forgotten?

Why was it you who killed me in the end?

I just hate you, hate that you've lied to me for so many years, hate that you've never really loved me. However, in the end, I realized that what is more painful than hatred is indifference.

There is indifference in your eyes, and you still have never loved me.

When I finally lost my breath, I thought that I must be a warm woman in the next life, no longer ask for the warmth of others, and never meet someone who doesn't love me again.

After exhausting the strength of a lifetime, what can't be retained can't be retained after all.