At this moment, I sat on the luxurious and comfortable sofa, looking at Xia Xiaoxue, who had just walked into the box, and felt unprecedented heartache.

This kind of pain, hysteria, and heart-wrenching is something I have never experienced in my previous youth.

I admit that I hated her during the breakup, and that was because she found a better home and abandoned me.

That kind of hatred comes from human nature and from my unwillingness.

When I learned that she was toyed with by the shoehorn face and thrown off, the hatred gradually turned into worry.

Then, that worry, with her fall, turned into a faint heartache.

Until this moment, that faint heartache suddenly erupted under Xia Xiaoyu's panicked eyes.

Pain!

It hurts!

The pain is excruciating!

It hurt me with two lines of tears, surging out of my eyes, and I couldn't breathe.

I'm wondering, what the hell is wrong with this world? Why did she become like this?

Why! She! Will it turn out like this?

Who am I to blame?

After more than two years of waiting, who can easily let go?

Although I have tried very hard to learn to be relieved, who can help me erase the memories of more than two years?

As long as she has a moment, she likes me; As long as she has had that tear, it is because of me, and she deserves my heartache for her.

I really feel like I'm going to suffocate! My heart was full of anger and resentment, and my whole chest seemed to be about to burst.

Sensing my abnormality, Gu Ji asked me in a whisper on the side, saying, "Mr. Wang, what are you ......?"

I cried and grabbed the remaining half bottle of Chivas on the coffee table, and poured it into my mouth, the wine into my bowels, more sorrow, and more pain.

It wasn't until I drank the whole bottle of wine that I held the bottle upside down and slammed it hard into Gu Ji's bewildered face.

Bang. The bottle didn't break, and his face didn't hurt, so I lifted the bottle again and smashed it into his face again.

Gu Ji let out an exclamation, turned around and ran in confusion, ran to the middle of the box, and asked nervously: "Mr. Wang!" Why did you hit me? ”

With tears streaming down my face, I threw the bottle on the ground in front of him, pointed at him and scolded, "Fuck you! You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong......"

Gu Ji looked at me with a red face, then looked at Xia Xiaoyu, seemed to have guessed something, and said hurriedly: "Yes, yes, yes!" Mr. Wang, don't be angry! I was wrong! Am I wrong? ”

I scolded hoarsely, "Get out! You're wrong! Get lost! Get lost! ”

Gu Ji hurriedly went to the sofa to pick up the satchel and said, "Okay, good! Mr. Wang, I'll get out, I'll get together, let's get together another day, I'll pay the bill, I'll get out after the order, I won't refund the drinks, I'll give their tips directly to the bar......"

"Get out!"

Roaring at Gu Ji, I looked at Xia Xiaoyu again, and couldn't stop sobbing: "And you!" You're wrong, too! You get out too! Get lost! ”

Xia Xiaoyu's eyes also shed tears, but he didn't speak, and silently turned around and walked out.

Looking at her back as she left, I felt an unprecedented sense of loss, as if my soul had been drained, and I collapsed limply on the couch.

When the twelve wine salesmen saw my appearance, one of them whispered, "Mr. Wang, are you ...... You also need us ......"

"Get out!"

Twelve liquor salesmen fled the room as if fleeing the plague.

I opened a bottle of beer, wept bitterly, raised my head, and poured myself with a clatter, and at the same time, my memory kept ringing the voice she had left behind over the years:

It was when I had known her for three months, and she smiled like a morning light on campus and said to me: "Feixiang, your parents don't give you much money, don't always think about spending it on me, usually eat more good for yourself." ”

It was half a year after I knew her, she blushed shyly and whispered: "Well, but you can only kiss it, I warn you, don't stick your tongue in......"

It was two years after I knew her, and she looked up at the moonlight like water, and asked uncertainly, "We will all have the future we want, right?" ”

We're all going to have the future we want, right?

What is youth? Is it the laughter that can't be hidden when you reminisce? Or is it a sentimentality that lingers for a lifetime?

Or, youth is just a process of maturation.

In the process, we have cried, laughed, hurt, stung, and grown......

Until one day, when we gradually matured, we realized that youth is only a part of the memory.

However, the memories really hurt!

The pain made me cry all the time, the pain made me drink bottle after bottle of beer, and the pain made me vomit in the bathroom......

I don't know when, Xia Xiaoyu walked in crying, crying and hugging me tightly, and I also cried and hugged her tightly.

We hugged each other hard and cried hard.

After crying for a long time, Xia Xiaoyu tried to calm down her emotions, squeezed out a poignant smile at me, and said, "Feixiang, can I ask you for one last thing?" ”

I said, "I promise you." ”

She said, "Put it down." ”

My heart throbbed hard again and said, "Okay." ”

Xia Xiaoyu wiped her tears and said, "I'm leaving." ”

I said, "Okay." ”

Watching her leave, I continued to sit in the box, drinking lonely, and kept telling myself that maybe I should really let go.

Don't blame her, don't think about her, no more heartache......

Don't blame Gu Ji either, let it go......

Let go, let go of the grudge, this is just a brand of youth, a silhouette of a streamer, a passing elegy.

Put it down.

After dawn, I walked out of Fenghuangtai, still unsettled, so I went to the cultural square in the center of the city and took the bus to Qiling Temple.

Half an hour later, I got off the bus and walked slowly to the monastery in the middle of the mountain, facing the melodious morning bell.

In fact, it is easier said than done.

Even though I am no longer obsessed with the past and no longer worry about the future, I still have a resentment in my heart.

To put it bluntly, the only thing I can't let go of is the face that looks like a shoehorn.

The owner of that face has defiled my youth, shattered my beauty, and made a mortal enmity with me.

I swore in humiliation that I would avenge my death!

However, now I really feel tired, so I try to suppress my hatred and try to calm myself down.

Entering the temple, the morning bell had already ringed, I paced in front of the hall for a while, feeling that my heart was full of hatred, and I couldn't help but think about the things between men and women, for fear that the gods and Buddhas would blame, so I didn't dare to enter the temple rashly.

So I came to the front of Qingye Pond and looked at the duckweed pool in a daze.

After listening to the chanting in the early morning for a while, and smelling the incense wafting in the air, my mind really calmed down a lot.

Therefore, I sat on a large stone at random, continued to look at the pond, listened to the Sanskrit sound, smelled the incense, and carefully experienced the meaning of Buddhism's emptiness and freedom.

Let go, I'm still trying to tell myself, let go......

A kind old man carried two buckets full of swimming fish of various sizes, put them on the edge of the pool, and said to me with a smile, "Young man, let them go alive once." ”

I said, "What? ”

He said, "Let's give birth once, and eliminate karma, it will be good for you." ”

I said, "Okay, let's put it in one go." ”

The old man smiled and put the leaky net into the bucket and asked me, "Young man, how much money are you going to put in it?" ”

I said, "That depends on how you sell your life." ”

The old man said, "Ten yuan and three yuan, depending on your young man's fate, count you as four." ”

I said, "Okay, then put ten bucks." ”

So the old man fished out four fish and released them for me, not to mention, watching the fish get free from his own hands, chasing and playing in the Qingye Pond, my mood was also a lot easier.

So, I let it go again, and my mood became more and more relaxed.

For a whole day, I sat in front of Qingye Pond and watched the occasional pilgrim passing by, buying fish and releasing them by the Qingye Pond.

I myself spent one hundred and twenty dollars, released them twelve times, and saved forty-eight small fish.

Until dusk, I still felt as if my heart was pressed by some kind of negative emotion, and I was not completely relieved, so I asked for 60 yuan of high incense, and came to the incense burner facing the main hall, and was about to light high incense, but the mobile phone rang.

I glanced at the caller ID and found that it was Li Baobao, I couldn't help but feel weak for a while, thinking that when she called at this time, she must have scolded me for breaking the appointment and not showing her Panlongding's contract.

Still, thinking of her difficult temper, I took the phone.

To my surprise, hearing my "hey", Li Baobao didn't roar at me in a rare way, and asked me eagerly: "Wang Feixiang, have you offended anyone?" ”

I said, "Who have you offended?" What's wrong? ”

She said, "How do I know? A large group of people came looking for you today, all of them are vicious, and they don't look like good people. I didn't find you, and I asked my classmates about your address, where your hometown is, and where your parents are ......."

Ask my parents, in which unit, yes?

I stood in front of the incense burner, looking at the temple in the distance, and my mind was completely chaotic after all.

Xu Kunpeng, right? What you have done in the past, I have tried hard not to worry about you. But how dare you inquire about my parents?

My parents, who gave birth to me and raised me, loved me and loved me, are the most grateful and respected people in my life. Do you dare to offend them?

Now I finally understand the true meaning of revenge.

If you don't die, I will never be born!

At this moment, my karma is rising, and I have endless anger in my chest.

Walking towards the outside of the temple, I saw an old man selling fish, who was casting a net to catch fish in the Qingye pond.

It turns out that the fish here are always caught and released, so what is the point of releasing them?

I walked briskly, kicked the two buckets into the pool, snatched the old man's nets, and threw them into the pool.

The old man asked me angrily, "What are you doing?" ”

I told him, "This is the real release!" Fuck you! I saw you fishing in the pond again, and Lao Tzu released you! ”

Ignoring the old man's bewilderment, I quickly went down the mountain, took a taxi to Linjiang Mall to buy a short knife with a nearly foot-long blade, and then dialed Gu Ji's phone and asked him if he knew Xu Kunpeng.

He said: "I know, the son of Xu Shu, the boss of the Xu Group, right?" Linxi Imperial Garden uses their business mixes, and I have frequent contact with them. ”

I said, "You help me ask Xu Kunpeng out, find a decent restaurant, pick a bigger private room, don't tell him who I am, I have some private business I want to talk to him." ”

Gu Ji hurriedly agreed, and asked me weakly: "Mr. Wang, aren't you angry with me?" ”

I said, "Forget it, I've been angry all night, and if I'm angry, won't I be angry and become a demon?" ”