The ancients once said: "A death and life are illusory, and Qi Peng's death is a vain." After the fastest update, we look at the present, and we still look at the past. ”

Every time I read this sentence of life and death, I don't dare to agree. Xu has known that his life is short since he was a child, and I have never had much emotion about the events before and after my death. Once in the world, what can be done with a long and short life? In the end, I can't escape the word "death", sooner or later.

In that case, why bother with immortality? At least for me, there is no fame, wealth, or lust worth chasing. I also couldn't understand why my mother valued fame and glory so much.

Ever since I learned the true cause of my father's death, I have become more and more estranged from my mother. It's not that she blames her temperament, it's just that she ...... Since I understand that one day I will leave early, why pretend to be a mother and a son, and let her be sad when she comes, and the white-haired person will send the black-haired person?

It is inevitable to die, or to maintain a sense of alienation from the world! It is not a good thing not to seek the glory of the people before death, nor to be famous for eternity after death, to come quietly, to pass away silently, and not to disturb the world.

Xu has been thinking about this idea for too long, I have been reluctant to be close to people, living alone in a corner to enjoy the purity of the cold and lonely, over time, but unexpectedly got the name of "Xianxian".

When these two words were mentioned to me, I could only laugh at them. It's probably because the door of Yunfu is too high and too mysterious in the eyes of the world that others look at me like this. But how can there be any immortal in this world?

At the very least, it should never be an immortal who suffers from a leg disease and is dying. In fact, for a long time, I didn't think I would live to be fifteen.

I still remember that my father had set a family affair for me to marry, and the woman came from the Xia family, which had been scholarly for generations. In terms of the family alone, the Yun family, who is in business, and the Xia family, who are in literature, are married, and the two families are also a good match. What's more, the Xia family has not been prominent for nearly a hundred years, and it does not provoke disputes in the imperial court, which is very much in line with me.

Since I can remember, I have met Xia Yanran a few times, because I knew that she would become my wife, so I treated her closer, and we have always been commensurate with each other in the form of words (small characters): I call her "Pinyan", and she calls me "Brother Bang".

At the beginning, I also thought about extending incense for the Yun family and raising eyebrows with Miss Xia family, but since I suffered from a leg disease, I broke off this idea and proposed to break the marriage contract with the Xia family.

My mother persuaded me a few words, but she did not reprimand or persecute me, and finally reluctantly agreed.

After the divorce, I met Xia Yanran again, when I was thirteen years old, and she was only eleven years old. Although she pretends to be a slender lady, in my eyes, she is still a young and innocent yellow-haired girl.

At least, everyone's girlfriend will not run over without scruples after being divorced, which makes me think that she doesn't understand the weight of the word "divorce" at all.

I still remember that meeting, she lingered in front of my garden, looked at the three words with clear brushwork and asked: "Brother Bangzhi, why is your garden called 'Zhiweixuan'?" ”

I sat in a wheelchair and looked up, and replied without thinking: "This is a sentence from the inside - 'A gentleman knows the subtlety, knows the softness, knows the strength, and the hope of ten thousand people'." Shibo is very knowledgeable, and he should have taught you. ”

The "Shibo" in my mouth is Xia Yanran's father.

Hearing this, Xia Yanran immediately replied proudly: "That's nature!" My father said, 'The body of every thing goes from softness to hardness; The reason of everything is from the small to the obvious. Those who know a few times know both the beginning and the end, and they are in harmony with the way of God, so they are looked upon by all people. ’”

Xia Yanran was familiar with it, and after finishing speaking, she turned to me and asked, "How?" How did I answer? ”

"That's a good answer, and the recitation is fluent, but do you know what it means?" I asked again unceremoniously. Actually, I don't believe that she, an eleven-year-old girl, can understand the meaning of this, and even I can't fully understand it now.

Sure enough, Xia Yanran was stopped by me, and she was stunned for a moment and asked unconvinced: "What about Brother Bang?" Did you know? ”

I laughed. It seems that the Xia family's method of raising their children is still superficial, Xia Shibo taught his daughter to memorize so many chapters and epigrams, but Xia Yanran didn't understand what it meant. But for her age, it's a girl again, which is not bad.

I remembered her unconvinced question, and I didn't want to think about it, so I shook my head and said perfunctorily: "The name of this garden is the title of the ancestors, and I can't understand it thoroughly." ”

Xia Yanran didn't answer anymore when she heard this, and she didn't know what she was thinking, so she just raised her eyes and looked at the three words "Zhiweixuan". After a long time, her crisp voice came again: "But I heard that the name of this garden has another origin, and it is different from what you said about Brother Bang." ”

"Oh? What is the origin? "I was a little intrigued by her.

Xia Yanran raised her sleeves to hide her face and smiled, and replied half mysteriously: "I heard that the name of the founding queen of the Daxi Dynasty is called 'Nie Weinong', and your garden is called 'Zhiweixuan', which was inscribed by the ancestor of the Yun family for her. ”

"Nie Weinong?" I took the opportunity to look at the three words on the garden again, and it was the first time I had heard of this "allusion". It has always been rumored in the clan that the ancestor had a great friendship with Queen Nie, but it is a little inappropriate to openly use the queen's boudoir name, and I privately think that this is not the style of my Yun ancestor.

So, I politely denied this statement: "You know better than me, a descendant of the Yun family? ”

Xia Yanran snorted lightly when she heard this: "Brother Bang doesn't ask about the world, he is extremely high, how can he care about these rumors?" Naturally, only the vulgar people can hear it. ”

Hearing this evaluation, I was really a little surprised, especially from the mouth of Xia Yanran, who was only eleven years old - it turned out that I was a "high" person.

However, Xia Yanran did not continue this topic, she looked at me for a long time, suddenly revealed a little loss, and suddenly asked with tears: "Brother Bang, why do you want to withdraw from the marriage?" Do you not like me? ”

Seeing her look like she was about to cry, I knew that she didn't understand, she knew what it meant to "get out of marriage".

I inadvertently hurt a girl who treats her like a sister, which is really unbearable. What's more, in this marriage, she is not wrong, but I have caused her reputation.

After "Pinyan ......" called out her small words, I didn't know how to persuade her, so I had to tell the truth: "You are very good, I don't dislike you." It's just that...... I'm dying, and I don't want you to suffer with me. ”

Speaking of this, I found that she was crying more and more, so I had to explain again: "You are still young, and there is still room for divorce now; If it takes a few more years, I will delay you, and even if you are not married, you will innocently bear the name of 'Kefu'. ”

"But I just like you." Xia Yanran couldn't stop crying, and I was at a loss. Persuasion is really not my forte.

She was crying to herself, and I was silent. After a while, she cried intermittently and asked me, "Brother Bangzhi, how do you know that your life is short?" You are not a prophet of the future...... How many more years do you think you can live? ”

How many more years to live? With my body now...... I pondered and replied to her, "I have about two or three years left to live." ”

"Two or three years of life...... Xia Yanran suddenly stopped crying, raised her eyes and asked me: "Brother Bang, then let's make a bet?" I don't want you to marry me, I want to make a bet with you. ”

"What bet?" I can't bear to refuse her again.

Xia Yanran raised her hand and pointed to the three words "Zhiweixuan", and said twitchingly: "You said that you still have two or three years to live, I don't believe it." If you passed the age of sixteen safely, would you change the name of this garden? ”

Rechristen? Instead of answering immediately, I asked, "What do you want to change?" ”

"Named after my small characters, change it to 'Zhiyanxuan'." Xia Yanran's eyes burst out with a bit of warm expectation, which did not match her age. In particular, I was surprised by her request.

Just now she just talked about the origin of "Zhiweixuan", and now she asked me to change it to "Zhiyanxuan...... The meaning of this could not be clearer.

Xia Yanran is so precocious at such a young age?

I subconsciously wanted to refuse to make a bet with her, but then I thought that this girl had just been divorced by me, and if I refused to even agree to this little bet, I am afraid it would make her even more sad. Besides, it was an encouragement to me to continue to live, at least for a few more years.

After all, her intentions were good, and when I thought of this, I couldn't say no more, so I agreed to it: "Okay, I promise you." ”

"Really?" Xia Yanran immediately burst into tears and laughed, and stretched out the little finger of her right hand: "Brother Bang can't regret it, quickly hook up with me!" ”

"What a child's trick." I felt helpless and funny, so I had to reach out and make a promise to her: "Pinyan, thank you." ”

……

I quickly forgot about it, because even I couldn't believe that I would live past the age of sixteen. It wasn't until later, when I had really struggled to get through my seventeenth birthday, that I suddenly remembered this bet.

Although I don't believe in gods and Buddhas, who can say clearly, the gambling contract back then did not give me support in the dark? When I have relapsed countless leg problems and even suffered from pain, maybe that crying girl is praying for me in the distance!

I did lose and owe Xia Yanran a favor. and the original divorce, which has also caused damage to her...... Since I no longer intend to marry a wife in this life, why should I care about the name of a garden? You might as well comfort her and relieve my guilt.

So, when I was seventeen years old, I ordered the name of this garden to be changed, and the "Zhiweixuan" where the Marquis of Xinhou lived for generations was officially changed to "Zhiyanxuan". And these three words are also inscribed by my own hand.

However, fate is so unknown and mysterious. I still miscalculated! Defeated by fate!

Abandon the relationship between mother and son, look down on the fate of master and servant, and ignore fame, fortune and wealth...... I thought that the heart lake had long been unable to wave, and in this life I could laugh at life and death without being shocked.

But no one could have predicted that just two years later, I would meet a woman in the annex of Zibong in Jingzhou.

At this point, I finally tasted the seven emotions and six desires of the world. It also made me understand why there are so many desires in the world, and there are people who are not worthy of life and death. It turns out that there is destined to be such a person and one thing, which will crash into it alive, and it is impossible to avoid.

When I met Xiu, I was so caught off guard.

Meet, know, know each other, and promise each other...... Along the way, the piles and piles were all unexpected to me. It turns out that I also have selfish intentions! I want to try to be unforgettable in this lifetime; I want to feel the joys and sorrows in this short life.

Suddenly, I regretted my short life and became greedy for this life. I would look forward to every morning, and be glad that I had lived one more day; I will also linger every sunset, worrying that I will not wake up for a long time.

Because of this woman, she knows so deeply; Knowing its depth, it will be greedy for the red dust and twilight.

When I made up my mind to take Xiu back home, Zhuying reminded me more than once, saying that she looked like Xia Yanran.

Like? I have long forgotten Xia Yanran's appearance, the impression left on me by that immature girl, except for the delicate tears, is the gambling contract she proposed. Also, a tear mole in the corner of her eye, that's all.

I'm not Zifeng, and I never linger in Fengyue, and I don't care too much about a woman's appearance. As far as I'm concerned, most of the women in this world are similar, with the exception of Izumi. When I met, fate made it.

Forgive me for being so selfish and keeping her around. I wanted her to serve for a few years, and arrange family affairs for her before I died, but in the end, I ...... It was I who broke the vows.

A menacing plague, a mistaken aphrodisiac, the selfish desire in my heart was completely aroused. I no longer dare to imagine that she will marry someone else, let alone accept that she has something else in her heart......

In the past, King Mu repeatedly invited me to join forces to deal with the Ming family, but I politely refused, not wanting to get involved in this dirty political matter. But after getting to know Xiu, I wanted to avenge her, so I took the initiative to come to the Mu Wangfu to renew the cooperation - to bring down the Ming family with real money.

As long as Ming is still around, Izumi's life will be threatened, and her wounds will not heal. The hairpin marks on her arm, I have to pay back a thousand times more from Ming. Besides, this family should have fallen a long time ago, it is Nanxi's moth.

Later, King Mu asked me why I changed my mind, and I told the truth without concealment. I still remember what he said at the time: "Everyone in the world is far from believing that Hou is pure-hearted, and now this king knows that Hou Ye will also be angry with the crown." ”

I was noncommittal at the time, but deep down, I had already understood it.

In fact, it's not a fairy, it's not a pure heart, it's that I haven't met the woman who can make me tempted and forbearing. Now once it happens, it will be out of control, and all kinds of emotions such as foolishness, anger, greed, and madness will burst out.

At least as long as I was alive, I was so eager for her.

As for my death, I don't expect her to abide by her life, and I can't bear her martyrdom. As long as she can tolerate me in her heart at the twilight, it will be the greatest comfort on my Huangquan Road.

To die for love, you don't have to be worthless for me.

Izumi's life will be very long;

And my whole life, from the moment I met her, was on credit.

I am grateful to God for fulfilling this encounter, although it came too late, but it is better than never loving.

(Full Text, Final)