I was born in 1989 in a small county in the northeast of the capital, and I heard my mother say that the moment I was born, her first reaction was to strangle me, because she never imagined that she had worked hard to conceive a baby for ten months, and actually gave birth to a monster.

The so-called 'monster' means that the guys of both men and women have been doing things for a long time, and they can't judge the real gender for a while, and now it's called intersex, but at that time, they all thought I was a freak.

The doctor told my mom at the time that they hadn't seen this before, so let's take BJ and go.

My grandmother had been looking forward to her grandson, and it is said that she was waiting for her grandson at the door of the delivery room, but she almost fainted when she received a notice from the doctor, and when she woke up, she shouted, "What did you do?!" ”

The doctor patiently explained, and then said, "It is recommended to send BJ to have a look, the child's condition is very bad, and I am afraid it will be difficult to survive in our hospital." ”

My dad was calmer at the time, and he helped my grandmother to look at the doctor, "Except for the fact that I can't tell the difference between men and women, everything else is normal." ”

The doctor nodded, "It's normal for the time being." ”

Grandma immediately waved her hand, "I can't ask for it, my family can't want this child, is this okay, if it spreads out to relatives and friends, what will I think, where will my old face go!" ”

My mother has been crying since she was pushed out, because there was a family planning policy at that time, it was more troublesome to have a second child, so my product, which was both standing and giving the whole family a headache, became a hot potato for a while.

They had a brief family meeting in the ward, and the grandmother directly expressed her thoughts: "This child must not be wanted, this is the cure that cannot be cured, this is a mourning star!" ”

Mom cried and had no idea, but Dad said, "Didn't the doctor say that the child can't survive, let's take it home first, if you can't survive, then it's like that, you can't be strangled to death, this is also my species." ”

Grandma still said no, looked at the swaddling clothes and said, "This thing must not enter our door!" As he spoke, he threw the eggs he brought to my mother on the ground as a sign of determination, and he refused quite a bit.

I couldn't go home, but they wouldn't let me stay in the hospital, and for a while my place was a problem.

Just when I almost became an abandoned baby, my grandma appeared, she took a bus from the countryside to the county town to come to see her grandson or granddaughter, but no one thought that my grandmother, who had not been treated very well by my mother, became my savior at that time, and just like that, I was taken home by my grandmother.

Before leaving, the grandmother only said one sentence: "If you die, you can call us and notify us, and we will hurry up to get a death certificate so that we can have a second child." ”

Grandma hummed and hugged me, wanting to say a few words to my mother, but looked at my mother's disgusted eyes and sighed and left.

Grandma's voice was still ringing behind her grandmother, she looked at her mother and said, "Huijuan, why do you still have the face to cry, let me tell you, it is very likely that you gave birth to such a thing because of you, a mother who engages in feudal superstition, this is retribution, you know, our family has fallen into blood mold, three generations of single transmission, I tell you, three generations of single transmission, if you don't give birth to a son, you don't stay in our house!" ”

……

I was taken back to the countryside by my grandmother, and according to my grandmother's words, she also thought that I would not live long, but what I didn't expect was that my mouthful of rice soup and a mouthful of rice soup slowly became solid from a dying state.

Grandma was angry when she learned the news in the county, and she circled her father and divorced her mother every day, but fortunately, her father was a reasonable person, and he had always protected her mother, so this matter was temporarily suppressed by her father.

I was given a nickname by my grandmother called Jiaolong, which may mean that it is difficult to distinguish between male and female, and the big name is Lin Qiao, because my grandmother still raises me as a girl, and the people in the village also think that I am a girl, maybe my grandmother is also thinking that she may have to raise me for a lifetime, if I am raised as a boy, I have to think about marrying a daughter-in-law when I grow up.

The second implication is that the word Jiao is missing a female word, or it looks like a woman and not a woman, so it has become Qiao.

At that time, I didn't have any concept of gender, and I thought I was a girl, and I was quite happy to be silly every day.

Let's talk about the contradiction between my mother and my grandmother first, my grandma is a watcher in our village, and it is better to call it Mr., and it is a goddess to say that it is difficult to hear.

Mom has a younger sister, I should be called Auntie, at that time it was a red soldier, when Grandma was taken out to criticize, she stole these two things from Grandma and threw them away, and said that she wanted to defeat Grandma, but the evil thing came out, it was rumored that the fairy on Grandma was angry, and then she grinded Auntie, Auntie first had a serious illness, and then she went crazy, and then she was lost, and she has not been found back.

Mom and aunt have a very good relationship, since then with grandma to form a bond, said that if it weren't for her, the little sister can't go crazy, it is said that the aunt is crazy when it is very scary, when they sleep at night, they squat on the kang head to watch them sleep, their eyes are bright, or they squat in the corner during the day, and their mouths are hey and hey from time to time.

After the wave of adding *, grandma picked up the old business again, so this beam is getting deeper and deeper, my mother went to the county to work before she finished junior high school, and then she got married there, almost just to inform grandma that she was married, and she didn't mean to let grandma go, of course, grandma still went, and the result was naturally a nose of ash.

I've always wondered why my mother and my father's family don't treat grandma so much, because grandma is very famous in the village, and if anyone comes to grandma for help if they have something, they can get it back if they lose it, as long as they come to find grandma, there is a chance that they can get it back.

At first, my grandfather told me that he didn't believe in these things, but when he was young, he was once vigorous, and he went to the grave with others to play, and jumped around on the grave bag, but he didn't expect the grave bag to collapse all of a sudden, and he fell directly to the coffin board inside, which didn't scare him to death, and after coming back, he had a rotten sore on his leg inexplicably, and then his grandmother cured it, so he began to believe in these things, based on this, he was also angry with his mother.

When I was a child, I eavesdropped on my grandma's chat with my grandfather, they were talking about me, and my grandma said to my grandpa, "Don't underestimate our granddaughter, he was sent by God, how many years has it taken to produce one, yin and yang people, ordinary people can't compare!" ”