Xiao Song confessed that I was the sister-in-law of the Xiao family, ranking ninth in the clan.

For as long as I can remember, I have followed my wise grandmother to watch the "exquisite" and brilliant "performances" in the inner house, which are either due to greed or for survival, and the ugliness of the human heart is "exposed".

For most of my childhood, what I saw and heard was so ugly and dirty, I wanted to break free, I wanted to escape, so I was extremely rebellious as a teenager.

Perhaps it is precisely because I have seen too much of the terrible side of 'women' that I have vaguely rejected from the bottom of my heart that I have too much contact with 'women'.

I remember one time I found out that my father's concubine had an ambiguous relationship with a steward. Liu Qingsong made a bet with me, and he said that if the two of them were given a secret contact space, the little concubine would definitely not be able to defend herself. I don't believe it, after all, my Xiao clan has strict family rules, and my father is also a very majestic person, even if the concubine is devoted to others, she should not dare to go out of the wall.

However, when I set up a bureau, and these two people jumped in unconsciously, it was really as Liu Qingsong said, I watched a live 'spring' palace with my own eyes.

Later, when my father found out about this, he was furious and killed the concubine, dragged me to the ancestral hall and started the family law.

I hate him for doing it to his own son because of a!

But the more it hurts, the clearer my mind becomes, so I laughed at him: You yourself don't have the ability to look at your own 'woman' heart, and you are the eighth king, so you are angry and angry at me? Think you can get back face in this way!

He was so angry that he almost turned his back on him, and his subordinates became more and more ruthless.

He has been upright all his life, but in this matter, I despise him.

Because of this, the father-son relationship between us has stiffened to the point of incompatibility.

During that time, he was also a young man's 'sex', not only hating him for doing something to me because of a concubine, but also looking down on him for using this method to cover up his shame, so he was also injured and lying on the couch, so he repeatedly smoked his anger.

Finally, he was furious, and before I could heal from my wounds, he threw me into battle as a pawn.

I know that he is just such an impulsive and short-tempered temper, and this is more of a momentary anger, but I still can't forgive, and I don't want my life to be arranged by such a person. So I worked hard in the barracks.

As more and more people were killed on the battlefield, my heart became more and more calm.

I know that my grandmother and mother have sent people to take care of me secretly, but after all, the mountains and rivers are far away, and I still suffered a lot as a soldier.

At this time, my family 'forced' me to marry, and the marriage was already decided.

I hate the 'women' who have been immersed in the inner house fights, but my birth is not destined to allow me to choose according to my wishes, and I should be responsible for delaying them until they are eighteen years old.

Whoever wanted to go back to Chang'an this time couldn't return to the border again.

Unexpectedly, the bride died on the way back! This incident alarmed Dali Temple, but there was no result from the investigation.

I have never met Du Niangzi, nor have I ever visited the church, let alone have any affection, but I am half my wife, how can I tolerate her dying in vain under my nose?

So I stayed in Chang'an and asked for an official position in the Criminal Department. Although I don't want to rely on the strength of my family, I also understand that since the day I was born, my body has been branded, and my official career is destined to be many times smoother than that of my common body, so I don't want to do things that deceive myself.

On the one hand, because of family reasons, and on the other hand, because of the accumulated military exploits I made when I was on the border, I was smoothly assigned to the Criminal Department, and I was a Zhengliupin official from the beginning.

I didn't think that I did have some talent for solving cases. Unfortunately, at the beginning, I did not have enough experience in solving the case, and the murderer committed the crime cleanly, so I spent two or three years without finding any clues.

But because I have solved a lot of cases, my official position is getting higher and higher, and because of this, I have seen more and more ugliness of officialdom.

That's when I realized that I had just jumped from a fire to purgatory. 'Withdraw'? Since the moment I stepped into the officialdom, I have carried the glory of the family on my back, and our Xiao family has never been such a cowardly man.

I know that after a hundred years, to be able to hang up portraits of Xiao's descendants is the best destination for every descendant of the Xiao family, and it is also my best destination.

However, I can't be as upright as my father, and if there is a thing that I know there are many better ways, why should I always take my own 'life' to touch it?

On the officialdom, father and son met in a narrow way, and he and I were still incompatible.

One day, I watched him scuffle with Wei Zheng in the main hall, and at that time, what appeared in my heart was not ridicule or contempt, but was moved and distressed.

My father was demoted and left Chang'an, and I personally went to see him off. But I know that he is a very face-conscious man, and I don't want him to feel that he has lost his dignity in front of his son, so I only watch from the castle tower.

Since that time, my official career has been inexplicably smoother, and it is undeniable that I was able to sit on the 'squire' of the Criminal Department at a young age, which has a great relationship with my father's demotion, and the Ninety-Five Supreme still respects my father guiltily.

The saint once commented on him: The wind knows the strength of the grass, and the board 'swings' knows the sincere minister.

As an official, my father is undoubtedly successful, and this is the first time I have identified with him since I was a child.

So even if we still fight easily because of political disagreements, I probably won't block it anymore, but just a few punches and kicks, and I will just take it.

In order to heal the Du family's painful loss of love 'daughter', the family has not mentioned my marriage for two years, and I happen to be at ease.

Because the Dali Temple did not find out the clues, and it was rumored that Du was weak since childhood, so she only thought that her life should be over, but I didn't believe it, so I have been persisting in investigating the case when I was in the Criminal Department, and two years later, when the family said that I was close, I still refused.

The people of Chang'an only said that I was infatuated, and the Du family had a very good impression of me.

Only Liu Qingsong was the guy who once asked me if I was in love with him, so I didn't want to marry him.

I laughed and said, "I'm not going to give up on myself like that."

Because of my good reputation, in the fourth year after Du's death, the family easily set a marriage for me that looked good. The other party is the 'daughter' of the Fan Yang Lu family, sixteen years old.

I'm a normal man, and I may have been late to the idea of male and female affairs, but at this time I do want to marry a wife. So he happily agreed.

For this marriage, I still have some expectations I was careful, and successfully met the bride, and after the visit, I was 'wanting' to go to the banquet hall, but I learned that there was a major robbery on the outskirts of Chang'an, and the person who was held hostage was the family of the official of the three products of the dynasty, and the criminal department did not dare to make a mistake. Helplessly, another 'waiter' returned to his hometown to mourn his father, so I had to temporarily replace him. However, Lu also understands the righteousness and persuades me to do the right thing.

It only took three days to solve the case, and the saint even joked about me if I was in a hurry to go home and enter the 'cave' room.

Unfortunately, when I returned home with joy and after washing, the maid came to me in a panic and told me that Lu was out of gas!

There was still joy in the new room, and the 'girl' on the couch had already had a pale face, and her chest did not rise and fall.

There is still no clue, and the Lu family is the same as the Du family, so inexplicably - he died.

In the years since, I have been secretly investigating the matter, but I found a clue that pointed to the eldest aunt, but I have never found any evidence to prove that she did kill the person.

Perhaps because of this, my anger has nowhere to be sprinkled, and the methods of handling the case have become more and more ruthless and unforgiving.

My interest in 'female' talents seemed to be extinguished the moment I saw Lu's death, and I thought that since I couldn't protect them, I didn't deserve to possess their bodies and minds.

And during this time, I also saw the true face of those 'women' in Chang'an. They used to seem to be very fond of me, but after all, they didn't love me to the point of disregarding their 'life', for fear of being killed by me.

I don't bother to touch such a 'woman' either.

There are also some people who are not afraid of death who invite the matchmaker to kiss, but unfortunately it is either a widow or a yaksha, and no one dares to stuff these casually when my mother is angry, but I am completely uncared for.

For four years, it was said that there was not even a female mosquito in my five feet around me, and I was not interested in it.

It wasn't until I went to Suzhou to hunt down Su Ziqi that I met the first 'girl' who could arouse my interest.

At that time, I could be sure that Su Ziqi was in that carriage, and I even planned to catch him regardless of the life or death of the people in the car, but the 'girl' who was held hostage had such a calm voice without the slightest emotion.

It just so happens that many of the people I brought were also lost under the sword of Su Ziqi, and I was not sure that I would be able to catch him for a moment, and I felt that I would let go of this opportunity.

I guessed her identity, so I went to visit her, wondering if she was being held hostage or if she was with Su Ziqi.

On that rainy day in Suzhou, she was the first 'girl' to approach me in these years.

I don't deny that Seventeen Niang's appearance is very attractive to me, but the more I get in touch, the more I find her 'sex' very interesting.

Although I rarely come into contact with 'women', it doesn't mean that I don't know about them, on the contrary, I see them better than most men.

She is the 'daughter' of the Ran family, and she is also from a family, but there is no trace of the squeamishness of the 'daughter' of the family, and her eyes are a little dull, but I can feel her honesty.

I knew that Ran Shilang knew me, so I deliberately appeared in front of him, wanting to see if this lady would be scared like others after knowing that I was a ghost in Chang'an.

But when we meet again, she still has that dull gaze and a blank expression, but I think that she is really beautiful in heaven and earth.

It was as if nothing I had done could make her feel too emotional, but what she did shocked me. When I watched her skillfully dissect the cadavers, I inquired about her experience.

The more I listened, the more interested I became.

When I was in Suzhou, I wanted to go to her when I had the opportunity.

But happy days always seemed short-lived, and I had to go back to Chang'an to report on my work.

When I tried the fun of being with Seventeen Niang, and then returned to the boring life, it was difficult to adapt, I would think of her almost every day, and I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing. Therefore, I sent people to Suzhou and spread the news every once in a while.

It's also strange to say, it's just a few faces, but after separation, my spontaneous change became love.

This love made me decide that no matter what my identity was, no matter how difficult it was, I had to marry and after ten years of waiting, I finally found the opportunity to go to Suzhou in person.

When I arrived in Suzhou, I suppressed the 'agitation' in my heart, carefully washed off the dusty body, and changed several clothes, wanting her to see the best of me, many 'women' were 'obsessed' with my appearance, and I hoped to make her like it a little.

But when she walked halfway, she thought that her sudden enthusiasm would make her feel unacceptable, so she rushed back to change into her official uniform, thinking that this would not seem too deliberate.

However, the truth is always so cruel.

Then I found out that Su Ziqi was standing by her side one step ahead of me.

At that moment, countless emotions surged in my heart, and countless thoughts flashed through my mind. Whether it is in terms of feelings or duties, I should have caught Su Fu. But seeing the hint of pleading in her eyes, I had no choice but to turn away. Because I'm afraid that she will be sad, afraid that she will hate me.

I have never taken the initiative to show favor to any 'girl', so I asked Liu Qingsong for many methods, but I feel that I have failed every time.

Seventeen Niang's feelings seem to be very subtle, just as I can faintly feel that she has feelings for Su Fu in her heart, but she has never 'revealed' her admiration for him. But from a few contacts, I don't think she's such a tactful person.

Maybe something made her hesitate?

This gave me a lot of hope, so I worked harder to find opportunities to get along with her.

Suppressing the sourness in her heart, from the standpoint of a bystander, Su Ziqi's feelings for her are gentleman's feelings, free and easy. I'm not as good as him in that. At first, my affection for Seventeen Niang was just the opposite of Su Ziqi, my love was the love of a villain, I liked her and I wanted to pull her to live and die together, no matter what, I would not let go.

However, the moment she agreed to marry me, I knew that I would no longer think about living and dying with her, I would live for her, and I could die for her.

After many years of marriage, I no longer say as many greasy sweet words as when I pursued her, because I have integrated all my affection into the bits and pieces of my life. It's not that the feelings are weaker, but deeper.

I'm sure you understand, Yan.

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